


If loving you is wrong (I don't want to be right)

by smkkbert



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Dystopia, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2018-12-17 08:35:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 102,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11847900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smkkbert/pseuds/smkkbert
Summary: They live in a society where the Ministry for Procreation decides who you get to marry. Oliver and Nyssa have come to terms with that. Although they are married, Nyssa can secretly be with Sara, and Oliver can do whatever he wants to do. When Oliver decides to make changes, he falls madly in love with Felicity. Therefore, his life takes a pleasant turn because although they cannot publicly be together, at least they can be in secret. Things soon get complicated, though, when Felicity receives a letter that shall change her life.





	1. Wasn't expecting that

**Author's Note:**

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> _My new multi-chapter, supposed to be posted every Saturday!_  
>  So far sixteen chapters are planned until the end. Sometimes that changes while writing when chapters feel too long or too short, but for now I say there will be sixteen chapters. :)

The loud music seemed to maltreat his head even more than the throbbing headache already did. Every beat of the rhythm felt like a hit to the aching part of his brain right behind his eyes. He wished he would have been smart enough to buy some aspirins before coming here. He should have known that working in a well-attended club on a Saturday night with no aspirins really wasn’t helping his headache at all. It was only making it worse.

“Okay, we have already more visitors now than we had the entire last weekend,” Tommy shouted from the other side of the bar. “I guess the opening weekend of Fuller’s club last week was not as good as expected. I take back whatever I said about Poison forcing us to close Verdant within only a few weeks. We are going to get Poison closed.”

Oliver only shrugged his shoulders, grumbling, “Who knows.”

“What did you say?” Tommy asked back.

Oliver only gestured with his hand, waving the subject off. The music was too loud for his best friend to understand his grumbled words, and Oliver was not in the mood to shout back over the bar. The less noise he needed to endure the better for his headache, especially because he still had the worst hours of the night ahead of him.

“Hey, what’s wrong, man?” Tommy asked. “Everything alright?”

“Headache,” Oliver replied quietly, gesturing towards his head.

Taking in a deep breath, Oliver took a look around in the club. It really seemed to be a successful evening. They had a new band booked for the night that they had thought was a little risky for the atmosphere, but given how many guests were dancing, it seemed to have been the right decision. Shooting a glance at his watch, he realized that it was actually time to go upstairs and chat a little with their VIPs. If there was one thing he didn’t want to do tonight, it was that.

Leaning over the bar to his friend, he asked, “Do you have a minute to chat with the VIPs? I’d only chase them away.”

Tommy chuckled. “Sure. Laurel is working long hours to prepare for a trial on Monday, so our usual Saturday dinner was canceled. And where are you going to spend the night?” Tommy asked, wiggling with his eyebrows.

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “Probably at home.”

“What? No Saturday-night-girl to go home with tonight? That would be the third week in a row, I think. What about the pretty brunette over there? Almost looks like the girl from  _ Twilight _ .”

“Shout it a little louder,” Oliver grumbled, not even looking at the girl Tommy had gestured towards. “Officer Kent at the end of the bar didn’t hear you yet, and I would love to spend the night in jail and have the terror of a long investigation to endure in the next weeks.”

The last he needed on top of his headache was for someone to overhear anything about the arrangement he and Nyssa had agreed on before they had gotten married last year. He didn’t think his headache would allow him to talk himself out of it like he usually managed to do when someone accidentally overheard anything suspicious.

Tommy looked at Oliver for a long moment, probably wondering if he should say something about his grumpiness this evening or any of the last evenings. Oliver avoided his friend’s gaze. He had no interest in having that conversation that Tommy had tried to have him for more than three months but that Oliver had successfully avoided so far. Luckily, Tommy decided to only shrug it off for now.

“I’ll go upstairs and chat with our VIPs,” Tommy stated, gesturing towards the stairs behind him. “Maybe you should take the night off and go home.”

“I’m fine,” Oliver replied with another grumble. “Thanks.”

Sighing, Tommy slid of the bar stool, took his drink and left to go talk to the VIPs as he had said he would.

Oliver took in a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. He knew it wasn’t fair, but sometimes he wondered if his friend didn’t get that for Oliver being in his apartment with his wife was not the same as it was for him. Oliver wasn’t that lucky to be married to someone he loved and who loved him back. Tommy had hit the jackpot when he had been paired up to get married to Laurel. It had been love at first sight. Oliver doubted that there were many couples who were that lucky.

If it had been up to Oliver, he would have never gotten married. He didn’t really believe in marriage or at least not under the circumstances that marriages had been contracted here for the last fifty years. So if it had been up to him, he wouldn’t have gotten married to anybody. The law had forced him to do so, though, and of all the women in the whole wide States that the system could have picked for him, it had had to be Nyssa.

Oliver shook his head, shaking the thought off. He should be relieved that it had been Nyssa he had been forced to get married to. She believed as much in the political system of their home as he did – which meant not at all. That way they had been able to find an arrangement they could both live with without feeling miserable for the rest of their lives. Feeling miserable about his marriage when he knew there were people married to someone who believed in this system and forced their partners to act on their marriage was wrong. Those poor devils really had a reason to feel miserable about their marriages. Compared to them, he was actually kind of lucky.

“We almost have no champagne left here,” Oliver heard one of his employees say. “I’ll go to the storage room and get some.”

“I’ll do that,” Oliver hurried to say.

He clapped his employee’s shoulder when he walked past him and hurried to the back of the club where he quickly entered the code for the door to the basement and walked downstairs. He sighed when the door clicked shut behind him quietly and shut out most of the loud music. Only the beat was audible as a dull tone. A few minutes away from the loud music would certainly help his headache a little bit and somehow get him through the next hours without feeling like his head would explode any second.

Oliver had just reached the middle of the metal stairs when he heard something that most definitely wasn’t the music outside. He stood still where he was, listening into the darkness of the spacious storage room more carefully.

“Hello?” he asked when he realized that it was voices he heard.

“Oh my god,” a female voice gasped in response.

“Never got a girl to say that so easily,” Oliver mumbled to himself with a small grin, the first this evening.

He turned his head to look at where he thought the voice had come from. He couldn’t see much with the light switched off, though. The only thing he could see was some light coming from the middle of the room. It wasn’t nearly enough to see who was using the storage room for whatever they were using it, though. The only thing he could see was that there definitely was somebody down here.

Oliver quickly went down the rest of the stairs, quietly hoping that he wouldn’t find any of his employees in the middle of a quickie. He switched on the light of the basement before he turned around to where he had seen the low light before. A pretty blonde was sitting on a crate with her legs outstretched and her back resting against another crate. Her feet were naked since her high heels had been abandoned on the floor next to her purse.

He only had three seconds to take all that in, though.

“I am so sorry,” the blonde said, quickly getting up from the crates. “I am so, so sorry. I know I shouldn’t be down here, but the party was so terrible. No, wait, you’re probably working here, so that is definitely the wrong way to put it. The party is great. Great music and great drinks make a great atmosphere and therefore a party. Really, it’s great. What’s really not great, though, are the people I am here with. They are terrible. I don’t even know why I went here with them. I know them from high school and ran into them today and… You know what, never mind. They are just terrible and I needed to escape them, but they are dancing near the exit, so I can’t just steal off. Then I figured that your club has great wifi like really great wifi and thought I could just kill time by finding a quiet place to stay and stream a movie. So I-“

“Did you ever take a class in… I don’t know even know what to call this form of talking so quickly,” Oliver interrupted her babble and needed to bite his tongue to hide his amusement when the blonde blushed at his question. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s impressive. I just feel like it’s a little hard for me to follow though that could also be because of my headache. Or is talking that quickly just your strategy to try to distract me from the fact that I should be angry because you broke in here?”

The blonde’s blush deepened, but she smiled bravely. “Let’s say it is just a strategy. Would it work?”

“Kind of, yes,” Oliver admitted.

The blonde chuckled a little, but quickly put on a serious face again. She cleared her throat quietly before she stated, “I should probably go now before you get angry after all. I am sorry for-“

“How did you even get in here?” Oliver interrupted her once more. “We have one of the best security systems in and around the club.”

“Well, if that is one of the best, I am afraid what crap average security systems for clubs are,” the blonde mumbled to herself.

She must have thought that it was quiet enough because when Oliver perked up an eyebrow in response to her mumbling, she bit down on her bottom lip slightly embarrassedly. It made Oliver smile despite the fact that she had basically broken into the storage room and he still had that throbbing headache. Something about her just made him smile despite the circumstances.

He stepped forward until he was standing in front of her and reached out his hand, saying, “Hi, I’m Oliver Queen.”

“Felicity,” she replied, putting her small hand into his, “Smoak.”

“I guess you are a hacker, Ms. Smoak?”

“Hacker is such an ugly word. It’s not what I would call it.”

“What would you call it then?” Oliver asked, cocking his head.

“A hobby maybe,” she replied, “that I do not engage in of course.”

“Oh really?” Oliver asked, perking up an eyebrow. “Then how did you get in here?”

“Well, the door almost opened itself. I just walked past it with my tablet in my hand and there it was open already. You should really install a new security system.”

“I should?”

“Yes, you really should. The security that locked the door was an invitation to break in here.”

“Oh, I see,” Oliver replied, nodding his head. He had trouble keeping himself from laughing, but he managed to do so. “It really was my fault, not yours.”

“I am so glad we can agree on that,” Felicity replied, chuckling slightly.

Oliver just looked at her. He knew in the back of his mind that he actually needed to go back upstairs. They were probably waiting for him to bring the champagne. Oliver didn’t want to go back just yet, though. He didn’t know when he had met someone who had elicited an honest smile from him so easily. It felt like it had been forever since he had had the last comfortable conversation with someone.

“So what can I do to make up for accusing you of breaking in here when actually you got an invitation?” Oliver asked.

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, humming slightly while she seemed to be carefully thinking about an appropriate answer. Her gaze was directed somewhere to the side, away from Oliver. Biting down on his tongue, he kept quiet and used the opportunity to really take her in for the first time.

She was a short person with strong legs that were perfectly accentuated in her red dress. Her curly blonde hair framed her pretty face before it fell down onto her shoulders. The cool grey-blue color of her eyes was a nice contrast to her full, red-colored lips. Oliver wasn’t sure if he would have even noticed her back in the dark club with all the other girls around, but he didn’t miss how beautiful she was now.

“How about-“

“Ollie, everything alright?”

Oliver turned around to see Tommy at the head of the stairs. He was leaning over the handrail to look down at where Oliver and Felicity were talking. Oliver didn’t miss the way Tommy was eyeing Felicity up quickly before he looked back at Oliver.

“I’m fine,” Oliver replied. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Tommy nodded, turning around and leaving. Oliver sighed, turning back to Felicity.

“I gotta go,” he stated, “but you can stay here as long as you want to.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yes, sure,” Oliver replied, lifting a crate of champagne from the floor, before he looked back at her, “but don’t drink off our supplies.”

“I’ll try my best,” Felicity replied with a chuckle. “Thank you.”

Oliver just winked at her, walking back upstairs and leaving the basement. He had just opened the door to at the head of the stairs when he found Tommy leaning against the opposite wall and waiting for him. Sighing, Oliver wondered why he wasn’t surprised about that at all.

“Everything alright, man?” Tommy asked. “You’ve been a little off.”

“Sorry for that,” Oliver replied. “It’s just the headache. I didn’t have much sleep last night.”

Tommy nodded, eyeing his friend up for a long moment. Oliver perked up his eyebrows.

“Tommy, the crate is not getting lighter. If there is something you want to say, just say it.”

“Did you ask her out?” Tommy asked.

“Did I ask whom out?”

“The girl downstairs?”

“No, why would I?”

“Maybe because she is the first person to make you smile in the last few weeks? And I mean an honest smile, not the fake one you like to put on.”

Oliver looked at his friend, biting his tongue. He really didn’t want to have this conversation here and now. He didn’t want to have this conversation at all.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Tommy sighed, looking at his friend for another long moment. Oliver could see that he wanted to say something more he probably didn’t know how to say or whether to say it at all. Oliver was just about to remind him that they needed the champagne in the front of the club when one of their barkeepers came hurrying towards them.

“I’ll take this,” Roy said, taking the crate from Oliver’s hands. “People are running wild for the new brand, and we really need to get more of them in the cooling.”

Once Roy had turned the corner, Oliver turned back to his friend. He looked at him with perked up eyebrows and a questioning gaze.

“Spit it out before your choke on it,” Oliver said with a sigh. He better got this over with now before Tommy would use every possible opportunity in the next weeks to try to talk to him.

“What will happen when you are done being all… angry at the world or whatever you are? Are you going to go back to your old lifestyle or whatever to call it?”

“My old life style?” Oliver asked back.

Tommy sighed. “You can’t tell me that all this sleeping around makes you happy.”

Oliver crossed his arms in front of his chest defensively. “As far as I remember, you had the same lifestyle a few months ago. And now you are judging me for it?”

“I am not judging you. I am worried about you.”

“Worried about me?”

“How about you stop just repeating everything I say and start talking to me instead? The last two months since Laurel and I got married you have been off, man. I’ve known you my whole life, but I have never seen you the way you are now. There is nothing you can say or do to convince me that you are fine. There is something going on with you, and I am sure it has something to do with the way you have been living the last months since you got married to Nyssa.”

Oliver was about to reply with the bitter comment on the tip of his tongue but Tommy perked his eyebrow almost challenging and Oliver sighed, dropping his hands down to the sides of his hips. Tommy had been his best friend since childhood. If he couldn’t tell him, whom else would he be able to talk to? Besides, Tommy wouldn’t leave this alone until Oliver had talked to him anyway. If he avoided talking to him now, he would only go to Thea and talk to her and then Oliver would have to get both of them off his neck.

“You know that Nyssa and I have an arrangement,” Oliver stated. “She gets to be with Sara, and I can do whatever I want. We stay officially married and pretend to live within the law. That is the only way this works for us. Would I like to ask someone out and try to build something that lasts longer than a night? Yes. That’s never going to work, though. I can’t have it both ways, Tommy. I can’t continue my arrangement with Nyssa and at the same time be with someone I could care about. It would endanger Nyssa, Sara and the girl I would date if it was ever discovered. Hopping through beds is dangerous enough for everyone involved as it is without the additional risk that comes with emotional connection. There is just no way that I can ever have more. It will never work.”

“It works for Sara and Nyssa,” Tommy reminded him. “They are together despite the fact that Nyssa and you are married. And as far as I know, the only one who ever raised suspicions with their behavior was you.”

“It works for them because Sara isn’t married. Hell will break loose the day she will receive the letter and will be assigned to a husband,” Oliver explained. “What if that husband is too scared to agree to some agreement like that? What happens if it is even worse and he is a supporter of the politics?”

Oliver didn’t know if Sara and Nyssa were just oblivious to that problem or if they just didn’t want to think about it before it actually happened. Either way it seemed irresponsible to him. Each day they were together they were digging themselves deeper and deeper into that hole they wouldn’t be able to get out of when the day of Sara’s engagement would come.

“I just think that with the world we live in and with the life that I lead it’s better to not be with someone that I could really care about.”

“I’ve seen your struggle since the day Laurel and I got married, and as your friend I think I should be allowed to tell you something without you getting mad at me or anything,” Tommy said quietly. He waited until Oliver gave him a short nod of his head before he added, “If you’re alone and I don’t take your one-nightstands for a solution to help with being alone, you’re never going to be happy.”

Oliver looked at Tommy, thinking about his friend’s words.

Since he had been old enough to understand the laws the Ministry of Procreation had passed, he had known that he would never allow himself to even fall in love. What good was there? He had known so many people who had fallen in love before they had received their letters and had been forced to get married to someone else. They had all suffered. He had vowed to himself that he wasn’t going to suffer like that. It was inevitable, so he was avoiding it.

“Just think about it,” Tommy said, clapping on his friend’s shoulder before leaving him alone in the dark hallway between the front and the back of the club.

Oliver sighed, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. His head was still throbbing. The conversation with Tommy that had only reminded him of how crappy his life actually was hadn’t helped his aching head at all. Oliver was almost sure he wouldn’t get rid of this headache easily.

He recalled his friend’s words, not being surprised at all that Tommy had called him out on his changed behavior lately. The fact that his best friend had gotten married to a girl he had fallen head over heels in love with the first time he had met her had changed something in Oliver. Of course, that hadn’t passed by unnoticed by Tommy.

Oliver would never admit it. He would never say it out loud, especially not to Tommy because he didn’t want to taint his friend’s happiness, but part of him was terribly jealous of Tommy. Being married to someone you loved and who loved you back was so much easier. You didn’t have to pick up girls in a bar and risk that they were supporters of the political system. You didn’t have to worry that someone caught you cheating and bring you before the court and you would have to spend the rest of your life in prison or worse.

He breathed out with a long sigh. Opening his eyes, he headed to the front of the club then. There was nothing he could do to change his situation anyway.

 

 

“Night, Oliver,” Roy said when he grabbed his jacket from the bar stool and headed towards the exit.

“Night, Roy. And thanks for stepping in so spontaneously.”

“Sure.”

Oliver waited until the door had clicked shut behind his employee before he took a look around in the now empty club. All glasses had been brought back to the bar and washed up. All surfaces had been cleaned. The chairs had been put to the tables. The floor had been wiped. At seven in the morning there was nothing left to do for him than to go back home.

Sighing quietly, Oliver grabbed his leather jacket and headed to the exit. He pulled his keys out of the pocket of his jacket, already thinking about what detour he could make with his motorcycle to clear his head a little bit before going home, when he remembered the short meeting with Felicity in the storage room.

Oliver hesitated to turn the key and lock the door. He hadn’t seen Felicity leave. Of course he might have missed it because it had been a busy evening, but it was probably better to take a look and make sure he didn’t lock her in anyway.

While he was traversing the room, he tried to figure out what were the odds that Felicity was still there at seven in the morning. He didn’t know what he even thought about that, but somehow there was a little part that wanted to see Felicity again. He didn’t know what it was.

He opened the door, stepping into the basement. The light was still switched on, so all he had to do was going down the first three steps and lean over the handrail a little to see her. She was still sitting where he had found her the first time. Her head had fallen forward, so her chin was resting on her chest. Even from his spot on the stairs he could hear her snoring quietly.

Smiling, he went down the stairs and walked to the crates she was sitting on. He crouched down at her side and just watched her for a moment. A strand of her blonde hair was sucked between her lips with every breath she took in. Carefully avoiding touching her, Oliver tugged the strand behind her ear.

“Pst,” he made, trying to wake her up.

Felicity only turned her head to the other side with a low sigh and continued to sleep. Oliver pressed his lips together to keep himself from chuckling. She was without any doubt unbelievably adorable. He put a warm hand to her leg under her knee and gently rubbed his thumb over her delicate skin.

“Felicity?” he whispered.

“Hm?” she hummed, turning her head back. She frowned, not opening her eyes yet.

“Felicity, wake up,” he whispered.

Felicity stayed still for a moment longer before she yawned and finally opened her eyes. She looked disorientated, and her frown deepened slightly.

“Hey,” he whispered.

Finally Felicity looked at him and smiled, yawning once more. “Hi. Sorry, I must have fallen asleep.”

“Yes, I think you did,” Oliver replied with a smile, quickly taking her tablet from her thighs when she stretched herself and the expensive tech threatened to fall to the floor. “I fear you might get some backache.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve slept worse. Is the party over?”

Oliver chuckled. “It’s seven in the morning. The party is over, the club cleaned. I was just about to leave when I thought I should maybe check if you’re still here.”

“Seven in the morning?” Felicity repeated, her eyes widening slightly. “Oh, wow. I think I didn’t realize how tired I have been. I’ll just take my shoes and-“

“You can put them on before leaving, you know?” Oliver asked with a slight chuckle when Felicity wanted to take the shoes under her arm.

“Oh, I can just put them on outside. I am sure you want to go home,” Felicity hurried to say.

“Actually I was thinking maybe you would like a ride home?” Oliver asked. “I have my motorcycle here, and I wanted to make a detour before heading home anyway, so…”

He made a vague gesture, waiting for her to reply. Felicity blushed slightly as she looked at him. Cocking her head, she bit down on her bottom lip and eyed him up. Her gaze moved down his body, making Oliver feel like he was about to be valued. He wondered if that was how the women he had used to pick up in the bar had felt. Before he could answer that question for himself, though, Felicity finally nodded.

“Okay then.”

Oliver smiled. “Great. Put on your shoes and we’ll leave.”

Felicity did as he had suggested. She quickly put on her shoes, made the tablet disappear in her purse and smiled to signal him that she was ready. They went back upstairs and walked towards the door in silence. Oliver was shooting her a glance every now and then like he was checking if she was okay. He didn’t know why. He just felt like he needed it.

“Ever been on the back of a motorcycle?” Oliver finally broke the silence when they arrived at his vehicle.

“I might not look like it, but I grew up in Vegas,” Felicity replied. “I did some wild things.”

Oliver chuckled. “You consider riding on the back of a motorcycle wild?”

“Not really,” Felicity said with a sigh, “but my mother does.”

Again Oliver chuckled, taking the helmet from the handlebars. “I guess it was a lot wilder that you didn’t listen to you mom and had a ride anyway, right?”

“Oh no, my mom  _ wanted _ me to ride on a motorcycle with a guy,” Felicity explained. “She thought Cooper was the perfect guy for some fun and she almost pushed me into his arms. Well, we’ve been together for a few months, but it ended badly when he was assigned to get married quite early and-“

Felicity suddenly fell silent, her eyes widening slightly. Oliver swore that he could hear her breath getting caught in her throat in slight panic. That was the usual reaction that was caused when someone realized they had just told a stranger that they were not living within the law and that they had had either prenuptial or extramarital relationships. Too many pain had been caused by the slip of a little information like that to not panic when it had happened on accident. If a slip like that happened in front of the wrong person, you could be sure that your life as well as the lives of your loved ones would be turned upside down. 

“My wife and I live together with her girlfriend,” Oliver whispered, leaning slightly closer to Felicity. “Sara officially lives in the apartment on the floor beneath our penthouse, but actually she lives with us. We have a nice arrangement that allows the two of them to be together and for me to have as much fun as I want to.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“If you have a little experience and know what you’re doing, it’s not more dangerous than riding on the back of a Harley,” Oliver replied with a chuckle, putting the helmet on her head and winking at her. He knew it wasn’t the full truth, but there was no reason for him to go into detail about their arrangement and how it could cause some dangerous encounters. “Come on now.”

He got onto the motorcycle first, nodding his head for her to follow him.

“Don’t you have a second helmet?” Felicity asked.

“Not here,” Oliver replied. “And now hop on.”

Felicity put a hand to his shoulder before she moved her left leg over the motorcycle, climbing onto the seat behind him. Her arms wrapped around his waist hesitantly. When Oliver looked back over his shoulder at her, he didn’t miss how the hem of her dress had ridden up higher on her thighs.

“You should hold on tightly,” Oliver told her. He took her hands and wrapped her arms more tightly around his chest. “It could be a wild ride.”

He felt Felicity sliding closer to him. Her front was pressed to his back, and her arms wrapped around him even more tightly.

“Ready?” he asked, starting the engine.

“Sure,” Felicity’s muffled voice was heard from behind the helmet visor. “But don’t you want to know my address first?”

If he didn’t want to hide his embarrassment, he would probably facepalm himself. Oliver cleared his throat. “Sure.”

“2315 N. Highbury Avenue. Do you-“

“I know where it is, thanks,” Oliver said quickly. “Felicity?”

“Hm?”

“Hold onto me tight.”

He didn’t give her the chance to tighten her hold on his once more. There was no reason to because she was pressed against him so closely and her fingers were digging into the leather of his jacket so firmly, he knew she was holding on tightly enough. Without wasting a second, he lifted his feet of the ground and let the ride start.

He kept the pace slow as long as they were on the parking area. As soon as the motorcycle had rolled onto the street, though, he sped the vehicle up. Oliver loved a fast ride. There was nothing that made him feel more alive than chasing through the night. Unfortunately the night was already over and too many cars were on the street for him to drive as quickly as he would really like to.

Making a detour would not be much fun with so much traffic. Besides, Felicity was probably tired, so it would be best to take her home on the direct way. Within less than fifteen minutes he turned into the street she was living in and soon was stopping in front of her townhouse.

As soon as he had turned off the engine, Felicity was sliding off the motorcycle. A cold shiver ran down the length of his spine as the warmth of Felicity’s body was missing now. She stood next to him when she took the helmet off and moved her hair over her right shoulder. She quickly combed it with her fingers.

“I wouldn’t really call that a wild ride to be honest.”

“Oh, and what would be a wild ride for you then?”

“More speed. More risks.”

Oliver chuckled. “I don’t think anyone who would see you or your house would think of you as someone who would enjoy speed and risk.”

“Well, I am not as close to good as I might look like,” Felicity replied. Smiling, she handed him back the helmet. “Thanks for the ride home and for letting me stay in the storage room.”

“You’re welcome.”

The two of them just looked at each other for a long moment, smiling with their eyes locked. When Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, his gaze lowered to her lips for the break of a second before he looked up again. Oliver didn’t want the night to end already. He didn’t want to go home already.

“Bye, Oliver.”

“Bye, Felicity.”

She smiled at him for only a moment longer before she turned around and headed to her door. On her way she was already rummaging around in her purse to find her keys.

Oliver bit down on the inside of his cheek. He had always been a man of principles or at least of one principle. He had always said he wasn’t going to live within the law and live in a monogamous relationship with the wife that had been assigned to him. Instead he had sworn himself to enjoy his life and have fun, but to never get himself into such a complicated situation as Nyssa and Sara, no matter how much he might want to. Things got more complicated when feelings were involved. He could literally hear his friend’s voice in his head, telling him that he was never going to be happy if he stayed alone forever, though.

He bit down on the side of his cheek a little bit more firmly for the break of a second before he cleared his throat. “Felicity?”

“Hm?” she asked, turning back around to him with her keys in her hand.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”

Felicity looked at him, sucking in a deep breath. When her gaze lowered to the ring on his finger, she bit down on her bottom lip.

“I know it’s complicated,” Oliver said quietly. “So I understand if you-“

“It  _ is _ complicated,” Felicity interrupted him. “I didn’t even know where we could have dinner together without the risk of getting caught.”

“You could come to me,” Oliver suggested. “I enjoy cooking and I live near the Glades. It’s safe there.”

“I haven’t been living here for long, but aren’t the Glades dangerous?”

“There is a higher crime rate there, but you don’t see much of that in the close environment of my loft. The good thing is that the neighbors don’t really care and there are barely any cameras. The ones there are have been sabotaged by dealers or other criminals, so if there was ever a suspicion raised, it would be much harder to be confirmed. The government gave up on the Glades a long time ago. For someone who doesn’t live within the law, the Glades allow a little more freedom than this suburban idyll.”

Felicity smiled slightly, looking down the street. “In the three months I have been living here, it actually seems like each of my neighbors minds their own business, but I am barely ever here to be honest, so what do I know?”

Oliver watched her for a long moment. He could see the struggle in her eyes and though he barely knew her, he understood her hesitation. Having dinner wasn’t anything forbidden, but what might develop from it could be. Even if there wasn’t anything illegal happening between them, it could raise suspicions if they were getting caught having a romantic dinner. If she had ever been put through an investigation for breaking any of the marriage laws or knew anyone who had, she had all reasons to hesitate before making a decision like this.

“You don’t have to decide this now,” Oliver said after a while, feeling slightly disappointed. “You know where I work, so if you-“

“Okay,” Felicity replied, looking back at him with her breath held.

“Okay, you come to Verdant and tell me when you made or rather changed your decision or okay-“

“Okay, I will come over for dinner.”

Oliver hadn’t known how much he had actually wanted this until this moment. A smile that even made him forget his headache for a moment spread on his face. He stopped himself from planning the menu – he should definitely bake some soufflés for dinner – to look at Felicity instead.

“Great. Next Friday? Tommy manages the clubs on Fridays, so I have the night off.”

“Sure. Friday sounds great.”

Oliver lowered the zipper of his leather jacket and pulled out one of the business cards from a pocket inside. He held the small piece of paper out for her, and Felicity took it without any hesitation.

“I am going to wait until you’re inside and then head home.”

Felicity smiled. “I’ll see you Friday.”

“I am looking forward to it.”

Felicity smiled at him only for one moment longer before she turned around and walked back to the door. She looked back over her shoulder and smiled at him once the door had been unlocked. The next moment she had disappeared into her house.

Oliver continued to look at the door for a moment longer, wordlessly nodding to himself. He had taken that risk after all. To his own surprise he didn’t feel scared or worried. He felt excited, really excited.


	2. Can't help falling in love

“Oh, you are here,” Oliver said when he walked down the stairs and found Nyssa and Sara making breakfast in the kitchen. “That’s good because I need to talk to you.”

“Good morning to you too, Ollie,” Sara said, holding out a mug of coffee for him.

Oliver chuckled. “Sorry. Good morning, ladies. I hope you had a wonderful night.”

Sara and Nyssa looked at each other for a short moment before Nyssa put the scrambled eggs on a plate and handed it to her girlfriend, who started eating eagerly. Nyssa meanwhile turned to Oliver, cocking her head. “I didn’t notice any girl sneaking out of the loft last night.”

“That is because there wasn’t any,” Oliver replied and took another sip of the coffee.

“Then how come you are in such a good mood?” Nyssa asked. “As far as I remember you haven’t been in a good mood since… I don’t even remember the last time you have been in a good mood like this.”

Oliver chuckled, nodding his head. Nyssa was right. He had been in a terrible mood lately. Of course she and Tommy had noticed that. Despite the terrible way Nyssa had been introduced into his life she was one of the people closest to him. They shared the loft and were married, at least officially, after all.

“I know I have been in a bad mood lately, but I think or at least I hope that is over now,” Oliver replied, “because I met someone.”

Nyssa’s eyes widened as she looked at him with an expression of surprise. Sara’s hand stilled midair on its way to lead the fork to her mouth. Oliver chuckled about their surprised reactions. If someone had told him that he would say this only a few days ago, he would have probably reacted the same or even more surprised.

“Is it going to be something serious?” Sara asked, putting the fork down. She crossed her arms on the top of the kitchen island and looked at Oliver carefully. “I mean as serious as it can get given the circumstances?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know yet. I only met her yesterday.”

“But you like her?” Sara asked.

Oliver thought about Felicity’s babbling and couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face. He had lain awake for the last three hours since he had come back home, unable to get Felicity out of his head. He didn’t know what it was that had made it impossible to stop thinking about her. He had decided to stop trying and instead memorize every second he had spent with her.

“You do like her,” Sara answered her own question with a smile. “Good for you.”

“Thanks,” Oliver replied. “I invited her over for dinner on Friday, so I need the loft.”

“Laurel wanted to invite us over for dinner again soon anyway,” Sara told Nyssa. “I will tell her to invite us for Friday.”

“I just hope she doesn’t try to cook again,” Nyssa replied. She shot a short glance at Oliver before she looked at Sara once more. “Could you give us a minute?”

“Yes, absolutely,” Sara replied. She quickly slid off the chair, grabbed her plate and fork and walked upstairs.

Nyssa’s gaze followed Sara. Only when Oliver heard the door upstairs being shut, Nyssa looked back at him. She watched him closely, not saying a word. It was one of these intense gazes that seemed to reach right under his skin.

“What?” he asked, noticing the slight challenge in her eyes.

“You are being careful, right?” she asked.

Oliver took in a breath. Nyssa didn’t trust easily. Given that her mother had been executed after she had started an affair with someone who had sold her to the police later, he understood that. When you lost your mother at a young age because of something like that, you saw betrayal everywhere or at least some people did.

All the things he had been through had made him almost indifferent about getting caught. Almost. He didn’t want the people close to him to become suspect. They would never again have a moment of peacefulness in their lives. That was the one thing he was worried about. Everything that could be done to him made him feel nothing at all.

“I am careful,” he answered. “I promise.”

Nyssa nodded slowly. “A deal is a deal, so you can do whatever you want and that includes dating in a more serious way than you have done so far. I just need to know that you are not jumping into this with your head first and eyes closed. If she works for the government or-“

Oliver chuckled. “If you had seen her or rather heard her speak, you wouldn’t assume that. I took higher risks with some of my one-night-stands.”

“And the emotional risk?” Nyssa asked after a moment.

Oliver kept looking at Nyssa though he felt the need to look away. Since he had come home, he had also thought about that. There was an emotional risk because as crazy as it sounded, there was something about Felicity that made her special to him already. He didn’t believe in love at first sight or in soulmates or anything like this. Yet, the way he felt when he thought of Felicity seemed to be a sharp contrast to those believes. He couldn’t explain it, but in some way she had managed to make him throw away all his principles and jump into something he had sworn he would never even get into with a lot of consideration.

“Felicity is…” Oliver started, but he didn’t know how to continue. He couldn’t describe Felicity yet or at least not in the way Nyssa would need to hear for her to forget her general distrust in people. He shrugged his shoulders with a sigh, moving his hand through his short hair.

“Felicity,” Nyssa said, nodding slowly. “That’s a nice name.”

“She seems to be a nice person.”

Nyssa looked at him for a long moment, trying to find any doubt his face. When she didn’t, she nodded slowly. “I am happy for you, Oliver. I just hope you won’t get all of us into danger for a woman you don’t even know yet. This is not me telling you not to try things. This is just me, asking you to be careful for all of ours sakes.”

She walked past him and upstairs to follow Sara into their bedroom. Oliver stayed where he was, drinking his coffee. He knew it wouldn’t be easy. He knew it was risky. He had decided to take that risk, though, and he wasn’t going to let his anger at the law, the government and the world in general stop him from doing so. Not even Nyssa’s distrust in the world would stop him.

He had made the decision to ask her out, and now he was going to stick with it because it had been the right choice. Friday would hopefully prove that.

 

 

“Traca!”

“Yes, that’s the tractor,” Felicity said, clapping her hands in delight about that little word. “And now say Felicity.”

“Lili!”

“Fe-li-ci-ty.”

“Lili!”

Sighing, Felicity pulled her goddaughter onto her lap and pressed a kiss to the little girl’s head. She had been begging Andria to say her full name for months now, but the girl just refused to do so. She stubbornly kept calling her Lili.

“It is hopeless,” Felicity said with a sigh, looking at her friend who watched the two of them. “She is too stubborn.”

“She definitely got that from John,” Lyla replied with a smile. “I have never been so stubborn.”

“Of course not,” Felicity said with a grin. “I would never dare to even think about it.”

Lyla smiled and took a sip of her tea before she stated, “You didn’t tell me if you decided to go on a date with that guy yet.”

Felicity looked up from Andria’s face to look at her friend instead. Lyla’s facial expression didn’t give away what she was thinking. She had kept a straight face the entire time while Felicity had been telling her about Oliver. Felicity knew her friend too well to assume that she didn’t have an opinion about it.

“I am meeting him for dinner on Friday,” Felicity explained, “and before you tell me to be careful because he could be a spy for the government or whatever, I really think he isn’t. He really seems to be a good guy.”

Lyla watched Felicity for a long moment before she replied, “I know you wouldn’t get into something like this without thinking about it, but I still need to ask you to be careful. You don’t know him. As nice as he seems, he could still be a bad boy and I don’t mean that in a sexual way. He could break your heart or even sell you to the government and they will break your neck. The punishments for affairs like that are harder than ever, especially when one of the parties involved is married.”

When Andria struggled to get free of her hold, Felicity put the girl onto her floor. She quickly walked over to her toys and started playing there. Felicity meanwhile tried to think about what she could say.

She knew Lyla wasn’t wrong. Of course it was dangerous, but nothing had even happened yet. She had just agreed to have dinner with Oliver. Maybe they would figure out that they were completely opposite and didn’t have much chemistry anyway. If she didn’t meet him to find out, though, she might forever regret that. Something about the night she had met him had just clicked with her. She had enjoyed talking to him.

“I trust him.”

“You don’t know him yet, Felicity,” Lyla said gently.

“I thought you of all people would understand,” Felicity replied. “You dated John before you knew you were going to be paired up, too. How is a date with a nice guy any different from that?”

“John and I knew each other for years already,” Lyla explained, propping her elbows up on her knees. “We knew that we were on the same side regarding those laws, and we knew we could trust each other. And neither of us were married.”

“Oliver and his wife don’t love each other,” Felicity replied. “How is that any different than being single?”

“It is different because more parties are involved. With John and me it was only him and me. If you start something with this guy, it’s-“

“It’s only one dinner, Lyla,” Felicity told her friend, slightly rolling he reyes. “We don’t plan to run away together or anything. It is just a dinner to get to know each other.”

Felicity quickly drank off her glass of water. She had come here to talk to Lyla because she was her only friend here. She was the only person she really trusted. She hadn’t thought Lyla was going to try talking her out of this. Lyla didn’t believe in the political system, and she had disobeyed the law by getting into a relationship with her co-worker John Diggle. They had been one of those lucky couples who had fallen in love with each other and later been officially paired up by the government.

Lyla was supposed to understand that Felicity just needed to follow her gut in this, and her gut told her that she should have dinner with Oliver. She wanted to get to know him. She wanted to find out if he was someone she could enjoy spending time with.

“Felicity, you are like my little sister,” Lyla told her gently. “I don’t want you to get hurt, so please promise me to be careful.”

“It’s just a dinner,” Felicity repeated.

“Maybe,” Lyla replied, “but I can’t shake the feeling that you have a crush on him already. Don’t get yourself into something that you can’t control. Get to know him before you decide to take another step and-“

When the door unlocked behind her, Lyla stopped and turned her head.

“Dada!” Andria exclaimed, quickly getting up on her feet and running towards her dad.

“Hi, princess,” John replied, lifting Andria into his strong arms. He pressed a kiss to her cheek before he directed his gaze at Lyla and Felicity. “I hope I didn’t interrupt your woman-to-woman-talk?”

“No,” Felicity replied quickly. “I think everything that needed to be said is said already.”

John perked up an eyebrow. “Sounds quite serious.”

Sighing, Lyla got up from the couch and took the grocery bag from her husband with a quick peck to his lips. “Felicity has a date with a guy she has only talked to for a few minutes.”

“Before you say anything, your wife already explained to me in all details why I should be careful,” Felicity hurried to say. “I probably should have told my mom instead. I am sure she would have encouraged me more than my friend does it seems.”

John let Andria back to the floor, replying, “Of course it is dangerous, but it might be worth it.”

“Thank you,” Felicity said. “See? That is the answer I wanted to hear.”

“Hey, I never said he wouldn’t be worth it,” Lyla hurried to say, unpacking the grocery bag. “I just wanted to make sure that you don’t get lost in enthusiasm and do anything you will regret later. If you get to know each other and it works, I am more than happy for you. I am just asking you to be careful.”

“We weren’t exactly careful either, were we?” John whispered into Lyla’s ear, but Felicity could still hear.

Playfully Lyla poked her husband in the ribs. “Hey, she doesn’t have to make the same mistakes. What you do you think would have happened if we had been getting caught?”

John whispered something that Felicity couldn’t hear this time. Leaning back into the cushions of the couch, she watched the two of them smiling at each other and kissing. She knew that there were only few people that got so lucky. What John and Lyla had was amazing.

Felicity didn’t even hope that she would ever be so lucky, but the least she wanted was to be happy. If she got the chance to find someone who might be able to make her happy, even if only for a short of time, she felt like taking a little risk was worth it. Was that so wrong?

 

 

When the doorbell rang, Oliver felt his heart start racing in his chest slightly. The whole week he had barely been able to think about anything but the date with Felicity. Never before had he felt like this, and he was sure that it was more than just the fact that he had changed his mind about his principles. It was Felicity herself who made him feel like this for some reason he couldn’t quite grasp yet.

He quickly stroked his hands over his chest to smooth the invisible creases from the fabric of his dress shirt while taking in a deep breath. When he opened the door and finally saw Felicity again, his smile widened. For a long moment he was focused on her face that was framed by her long blonde hair that she wore down tonight. When his gaze traveled down her body, taking in the form fitting red dress she wore, he felt his mouth running dry.

“Felicity,” he said with almost choked voice. “You look stunning.”

“Thanks,” Felicity replied with a shy smile, blushing slightly. “You look quite nice yourself.”

“I am trying.”

For a short while they just looked at each other without saying a word until Felicity cocked her head slightly and asked, “Don’t you want to ask me in?”

Oliver quickly cleared his throat and stepped aside to open the door wide. “I’m sorry. I am just-“

“-nervous?” Felicity asked, walking past him into the loft.

“Yes,” Oliver admitted with a nervous chuckle.

“Well, line forms behind me.”

The last week he had mainly been excited. He had been happy he had decided to take the step and excited about Friday to finally come around. He hadn’t been nervous, though. There probably was a first time for everything then.

He closed the door and turned back around to Felicity, who was looking around in the loft with wide eyes.

“Wow,” she said. “I never expected something like this in the Glades.”

“It is a little treasure,” Oliver replied. His eyes followed her gaze to the gallery upstairs shortly before he gestured to the set dining table. “Do you want to sit down? Dinner’s almost ready, and I promise that you can have a full tour through the penthouse after you tried my specialty, a chicken cordon bleu.”

“That sounds more than promising,” Felicity replied, following his gesture towards the table.

He set the chair in place for her and poured her a glass of wine before he excused himself into the kitchen area to arrange the homemade dinner on the plates. When he shot a glance into her direction, he found her looking at the wine intensely. He bit his tongue for a moment, wondering what to do. He had never really dated someone, at least not that way that it would have included dinner and much talking. He was almost a little surprised by how clueless he felt about what to do.

“Everything alright?” he asked before he could really think about it.

Felicity looked up at him, smiling quickly. “Yes. Yes, I am fine, just… thinking.”

Oliver nodded, unsure what to say about that. Taking the plates and carrying them to the table, he decided to rather say nothing. Smiling, he served the dinner to Felicity.

“Thank you,” she said. “This looks delicious.”

“I hope it will taste delicious too.”

He walked around the table and sat down opposite to Felicity. Smiling, he took a sip of his wine and gestured for her to start dinner. “Bon appétit!”

“Thank you,” Felicity replied, smiling at him for a moment longer.

While they were starting to eat, neither of them said a word. Apart from the quiet music that was playing in the background it was completely quiet, uncomfortably quiet even. Oliver tried to think about something to say or ask, but his mind was almost blank. For the first time in the last days he really doubted his decision.

Maybe inviting her here for dinner had been a bad idea. He had just had that talk with Tommy about how his lifestyle might have to change for him to finally be happy when he had met Felicity. Maybe whatever he had thought she would awake in him really had just been a result of something else. Or maybe-

Felicity clearing her throat quietly pulled him from his thoughts. He looked up to see her eyeing him up intensely and he smiled quickly.

“Everything alright?” he asked.

“At the risk of sounding like a crazy person,” she replied and cleared her throat once more, “I am just going to tell you what’s on my mind and hope that it will make this evening a little...”

She gestured around, trying to find a word that fit her thoughts.

“That it takes away from the tension?” Oliver asked.

“Yeah,” Felicity replied. She nodded, smiling insecurely and took a sip of her wine before she put her cutlery away and focused her gaze on his face. She took in a deep breath before she explained, “When you asked me over for dinner last week, I hesitated at first because… well, I don’t know you. I don’t really know who you are or what you believe in and whether you are a good guy. In some weird way I felt like you are, though. A good guy, I mean. I can’t really explain it, but I feel that way. That is why I agreed to come here to dinner despite the fact that I don’t know anything about you other than what you told me and that could even be a lie.”

Felicity was talking quickly, and she was cute when she talked like that, using her hands to gesture around. It reminded him on why he had asked her out in the first place. It had been more than just the change of heart he had had that night. Not the change of heart had made him invite her. Inviting her had changed his heart.

“I kind of feel safe being here, though,” Felicity continued with an insecure smile. “My friend told me to be careful because I don’t know you and, logically speaking, I think she is right. I just really don’t feel like I have to be careful here. I don’t know you and yet I feel like I can trust you. And in a way that scares me.”

Oliver nodded slowly, understanding exactly what she meant. Nyssa had reminded him again and again that he had to be careful. He knew she was right. He should be careful. Just like Felicity he didn’t feel like he really had to be, though. He didn’t want to be careful.

“You are allowed to laugh at me now,” Felicity whispered.

Frowning, Oliver looked at her. Felicity held his gaze for only a moment before she lowered her gaze to the table top. Oliver cocked his head, watching her for a long moment.

“Why would I laugh at you?” he asked and waited until she looked back at him. “I am glad that you told me this because dinner was weird until now.”

Felicity chuckled. “Understatement of the year.”

Smiling, he added, “I am not good with dating, at least not with dating like this.”

“Which means?” Felicity asked, perking up an eyebrow.

“The dinner and talking part,” Oliver replied honestly. “Usually it’s just sex.”

Felicity’s eyes widened and she took a sip of her wine. “Okay.”

Oliver bit his tongue, quietly cursing himself for being so direct. His sexual past was probably not something he should address on a first date. In some way, he felt it was necessary, though.

“You said you feel it’s dangerous that you feel safe though you don’t know me,” he said after a while. “Well, a first date is there to get to know somebody. I suggest I tell you everything there is to know about me and you decide if that makes me the good guy you already think I am. Maybe that guy could get a chance to get to know you. You don’t have to tell me a single thing about you before you are sure that it’s safe. Is that a deal?”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, watching him intensely. Oliver didn’t look away, though. He held her gaze, looking right into her grey-blue eyes and waiting for her answer. After several minutes Felicity finally smiled.

“Deal.”

Oliver smiled back at her. “Great. You should eat your cordon bleu before it gets cold. Besides, if I do the talking, you have plenty of time to eat.”

Smiling, Felicity pulled her plate closer to her again and took the cutlery. “The cordon bleu is delicious by the way. I understand why it is your specialty.”

“Thank you,” Oliver replied. “You will enjoy dessert. It’s a chocolate soufflé.”

Felicity hummed appreciatively. “I like what I know about you so far.”

Oliver chuckled. “I hope I don’t ruin it with everything else I will tell you then.”

 

 

Three hours later, they were sitting on the couch, facing each other while eating the last bits of their dessert. Felicity was hanging on Oliver’s every word even more than at the beginning. They had moved from the lighter subjects of hobbies and funny childhood stories about him and his little sister Thea to the important parts that had really shaped his life. Oliver revealed himself to her in a way that made Felicity’s heart beat quicken.

He had told her about how he had gotten married to Nyssa. From what she had heard it sounded like she was an interesting person – headstrong and leery. Given what she had been through with her mother it was more than understandable she had trouble trusting. Who she did trust was her girlfriend Sara. Sara wasn’t only Nyssa’s girlfriend, though. She was also Oliver’s best friend’s wife’s sister. Felicity doubted that she had ever heard of more complicated family relations.

When Oliver and Nyssa had been forced to get married, he had considered just packing it all in and running off despite the risks there were. Nyssa had come here, though, and told him that she was never going to be with him, but if they got married, they could both lead the lives that they wanted. He had been hesitant about agreeing, but at the end he had. What had developed from it was a friendship which was more than other people could say about their relationships to their chosen spouses. Just like Lyla, Nyssa had warned Oliver to be careful several times those last days.

He had never been in a serious relationship because he had wanted to spare himself the pain of having a complicated relationship like that. Instead, he had picked up women at the club and had limited himself to one-night-stands. She was the first woman he had asked for a date and she was first woman he had really sat down and talked to, especially as long as this. He was glad that he had, though.

He had told her all of that and even more, so if the last hours had proven anything, it was that she could trust him. He seemed to trust her already. You didn’t tell someone such private things if you didn’t trust them.

Felicity put her empty plate to the small couch table and took a sip of her third glass of wine. When she leaned back against the cushions, propping her head up onto her arm on the backrest and mirroring Oliver’s position, she looked at him with a gentle smile.

“What about your family?” Felicity asked him. “I heard about Nyssa’s family and your friends, but what about-?”

Felicity stopped when Oliver lowered his gaze. It was the first time in the last hours that he had broken eye contact. Until now his eyes had always been on her, watching her reaction to each of his words. The mentioning of his family seemed to make him feel uncomfortable, though. He was rubbing his thumb against the tips of the other fingers of the same hand.

“I’m sorry,” Felicity hurried to say. “You don’t have to tell me. You have told me so much already, and I haven’t told you anything about me yet. I kind of feel guilty about that. I mean here we are, and you told me all these things about you, revealed yourself to me completely. It’s almost like you are naked.“

Oliver perked up an eyebrow.

“I mean not naked-naked obviously. You are still quite dressed, completely dressed actually,” Felicity added with a glance at his shirt, a quiet sigh in her voice. When that comment made Oliver perk up his eyebrow even more, she realized that it must have sounded almost disappointed. “Not that I mind. You can stay dressed as long as you want to. Wait. That came across wrong again. I mean-“

Oliver chuckled, taking her hand from her thigh and gently squeezing her fingers. It made Felicity shut up, focusing on the way he linked their fingers and rested them on his knee. He stroked his thumbs over the knuckles of her hand.

“Is that okay?” Oliver asked when she looked back up at him.

“Yes, it is,” Felicity said with a nod. It really was okay. It was more than okay actually. It felt good. Smiling, she squeezed his fingers back. “So I guess it’s my turn now. What do you want to know about me?”

“Oh, I want to know everything about you,” Oliver replied with a chuckle. “But first I want to answer your question.”

“You don’t have to,” Felicity hurried to say. “After everything you told me I know that I can trust you and families are-“

“Felicity,” Oliver interrupted her, squeezing her fingers once more. “It’s okay.”

Felicity watched his face closely, trying to find any doubt or uneasiness. She didn’t, though. Oliver looked determined to answer her question. Biting down on her bottom lip, Felicity nodded. “Okay then.”

“My parents got along quite well. They didn’t really love each other or at least they weren’t in love with each other, but they did get along,” he told her and hesitated for a long moment. “They both… I think they supported the marriage laws.”

“What?” Felicity whispered.

Oliver nodded. “They weren’t into politics or anything, but they did believe in the law. They never really said it, but I really think they did.”

“Wow,” Felicity said slowly. After everything Oliver had told her about him that was the last she would have expected. He did come from a privileged family who more likely approved to the law than others. Yet, she he hadn’t thought his family would follow that tendency. “You said they  _ did _ believe in the law. So they changed their minds?”

“They are dead,” Oliver replied.

“Sorry,” Felicity whispered. “You don’t have to talk about it. I’d really understand if-“

“When I was 22,” Oliver continued, “my dad and I went on a boat trip. I thought it was just the two of us and the rest of the crew, but it turned out that despite his beliefs he had an affair. Her name was Isabel Rochev. She was more my age than his, and she had just gotten to know who she was supposed to marry. Dad only took me with him to be his alibi. It was safer if he could prove that he wasn’t doing that trip alone. The boat trip should have been their last days together. Isabel’s plan was different, though.”

Felicity gulped, squeezing his hand in silent comfort. She regretted that she had asked in the first place because whatever Oliver would tell her most definitely wasn’t anything you told on a first date. Only few of the things he had told her had really been appropriate for the first date. She had appreciated his honesty, but she felt like this was more than he should feel obligated to tell her.

“You really don’t have to-“

“She sabotaged the boat,” Oliver continued, ignoring her offer to stop. “It went down. She, my dad and the crew died.”

Felicity gulped. Her voice was barely louder than a breath when she whispered, “How did you survive?”

“I was stranded on an island,” he answered. “It was used for military operations. I thought they’d take me home, but once they talked to some officials here and found out about my dad and Isabel, they kept me there for a while. They wanted to find out if I knew about a plot against the government or anything. Apparently, my father had been suspected of plotting something. I have no idea if he had been planning on something like that. I kind of doubt it actually. Anyway, those people believed he had been involved in some group like that and that maybe I knew something about that. They… tortured me.”

Felicity felt her stomach twist and turn painfully. She could see the pain in his face. This was everything but easy to say for him. Yet he did. He did tell her.

“A lot happened on that island, and I don’t ever talk about any of-“

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Felicity assured him. “You don’t even have to continue. I shouldn’t have asked in the first place and-“

Oliver squeezed her fingers, and Felicity fell quiet. There was a question in his eyes, the question if he could or even continue or if it was too much for her. Felicity hesitated shortly, but eventually she nodded. If he really wanted to share this, he could talk to her. It was the least she could offer after everything he had told her so far.

“When I came back five years later, my mom had been assigned to get married to someone else. She had changed her mind about the law because of what had happened to dad and me. One year after I was back, she went out. She said she wanted to meet friends, but Walter later told me that she was working on getting engaged into the politics to make a change. She was shot that night. We never found out who it did, but…”

“Probably the government,” Felicity whispered knowingly because people who worked against the government were killed or disappeared suspiciously often. So many people had lost so much. “Oliver, I am so sorry.”

“It’s been a while,” he answered. “I’m fine, really. I… I survived it and I got over it.”

Felicity doubted that someone could ever truly get over something like this, but she nodded nonetheless. What did she know about torture and loss like that to object?

“I never talk to anyone about all of this,” he told her, looking into her eyes. “Neither to Tommy nor to Nyssa. Most of what they know, they know from the news like everyone else. You told me you have only moved here recently, but if you had been living here some time already, you’d know about this too. The news revealed everything but the five years on the island and the fact that my mother was going to work against the government.”

Felicity shook her head slowly. “It must be terrible when everyone knows about your life like that.”

“And now I told the one person in this city who didn’t know about it the truth,” Oliver said with an almost sad chuckle. Oliver frowned slightly, looking at her. “You still look at me the same way like before, though.”

“Why would I look at you differently?”

“Because usually people look at me like I am damaged once they know.”

Felicity frowned slightly. “Then why did you tell me if you thought that would happen?”

Oliver looked at her for a long moment, not saying a word. He just took in her face. His eyes moved from her eyes to her lips and back up to her eyes again. Their gazes locked, but still neither of them said a word.

“I don’t know,” Oliver replied in a whisper. “Maybe it’s because I don’t want to be on an island any longer, and I feel that is where I have still been living the last years since I am back. I don’t want that anymore. I want things to change and I think for that it is necessary that I am being honest with you. Maybe I want to have what Sara and Nyssa or Tommy and Laurel have. Everyone around me is happy, even if they’re in complicated relationships. Maybe I can finally admit that I want that too.”

“But why me?” Felicity asked. “Why me of all people? Is it just because I came along at the right day and-”

“No,” Oliver replied quickly. He took in a breath, shrugging his shoulders slightly. “There is just… I can’t really put it into the right words, but… there is just something about you.”

Felicity felt her heart starting to race in her chest. The way Oliver looked at her with his deep blue eyes and the way he talked to her in this husky whisper…

When he licked his lips, her gaze flickered down to his mouth. Slowly she moved her hand away from under her head and reached out for his face. She hesitated for the split of a second, but when Oliver held her gaze, she gently put her fingertips to his cheek. The short stubble scratched her sensitive skin gently, making her smile.

Biting down on her bottom lip, Felicity slid a little closer to him on the couch until her knees touched the side of his thighs. She took in his face intensely, feeling her heartbeat quickening. Slowly Oliver leaned forward until their noses gently touched each other’s. His lips were only a breath away. They stayed like this for several seconds before Felicity closed the distance and kissed Oliver chastely.

His lips were soft like pillow mountains against hers. His stubble scratched the skin around her lips deliciously. When she sighed quietly, Oliver used the opportunity and stroked his tongue into her mouth. Felicity moved her fingers into the hair at the back of his head, angling his head to her and deepening the kiss. She felt her breathing quickening and her heart skipping a few beats in response.

When their lips parted, Oliver rested his forehead against hers. He put a hand to her cheek and gently stroked his thumb along her jaw. Felicity licked her lips, chasing the taste of his lips on hers. She pulled back a little to look at him, taking in his face closely once more. Oliver smiled contently, not saying a word.

“So,” Oliver said after a while. “I guess it’s time for you to get naked now.”

Felicity pulled back a little more, perking up an eyebrow. “Sorry?”

Oliver chuckled. “Well, since I am emotionally naked for you now, as you pointed out before, I guess it’s time for you to join me in nudism, isn’t it?”

“I guess it is,” Felicity replied with a smile. She slid a little away from Oliver, feeling the need for more distance when she wanted to talk to him. Their fingers stayed entangled on the back rest of the couch, though. “So what do you want to know?”


	3. Afraid

_ She's so afraid to kiss _

_ And so afraid to laugh _

_ Is she running from her past? _

_ It's only life _

_ She's so afraid of love _

_ Is so afraid of hate _

_ What she's running from now? _

Gently stroking his thumb over the back of her hand, Oliver watched Felicity closely. While he had been telling her everything that had come to his mind about himself, she had barely said a word. She had only looked at him intensely and nodded or smiled from time to time to make him know she was listening. Sometimes she had even asked a question or something, but most of the time she had just been listening and Oliver was grateful that she had.

The last couple of years since he had come back he really had been living on an island. There was no other way to say it. Somehow telling Felicity had felt like a relief. Up until the moment he had started, he hadn’t even known how much he had wanted and maybe even needed to tell someone about all these things.

When he had come back, nothing had been as it had been before. Everything had been split in the time before and after the island. Talking to Thea about their childhood had felt different from before because they had lost their dad and later their mom and they had both been put through so much. Same with Tommy. Everything had just felt different.

With Felicity it wasn’t the same, though. There was no before the island with her. Maybe that was the something he felt there was about her. Besides, for a long time he had thought that he just wanted to forget about it, but he couldn’t. He would never forget what he had been put through there.

“Don’t you want to start undressing me?” Felicity asked, cocking her head and looking at him with an amused smile.

It took Oliver a second before he realized that what she meant by ‘undressing’. He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Sorry. I was in my thoughts.”

“Oh, I know a lot about that,” Felicity replied. “I can have deep conversations with myself for hours. I can also babble in my thoughts which can turn out to be really weird when I can’t follow my own thoughts anymore.”

Oliver chuckled, perking up his eyebrow. “That can happen?”

“Sometimes it does, yes. Mainly when I am sleep-deprived or on too much caffeine or both. Since Curtis left, I have nobody to make sure I don’t get overdosed with caffeine anymore,” she replied with a quiet sigh, shrugging her shoulders.

“Who’s Curtis?” Oliver asked.

“Oh, he is… uhm-“

Felicity took in a deep breath and lowered her gaze, biting down on her bottom lip.

“We can start somewhere else if you-“

“No,” Felicity replied quickly, looking back up with a smile. “It’s just that I haven’t been talking about Curtis in a long time and I just realized how much I missed him. Really, after everything you told me, this is really nothing in comparison.”

She was still smiling, but it was a much sadder smile than it had been before. Oliver squeezed her hand in silent comfort.

“Is he an ex?”

“No,” Felicity said with a sad chuckle, shaking her head. “No, he is just a friend, the best I ever had. He worked for me or rather with me. We were… we are quite similar. We both talk too much and too fast. We are both very much into computers and wanted to do at least a little good by inventing technology that could make a change.”

“Sounds like a good guy to me,” Oliver replied.

“He is,” Felicity replied, the smile on her lips honest again now. “Last year he fell in love with Paul, a physician. They got to know each other when… That doesn’t really matter. Anyway, they decided to not let this state and the crazy dictatorship it is suppressed by drive them apart. They chose to run away together.”

“Those stories never end well,” Oliver whispered.

He had lost count of how many times people had tried to cross the border to flee this country, but they had been held back. Canada and Mexico had serious issues with illegal immigration, but they did their best to give people who had managed to flee the US a better life, whether it was in their state or in Europe or wherever else. The borders were more protected than ever, though. Escaping wasn’t as easy as it had been at the beginning of the period of government. Over the course of the last 50 years they had increased the border guard and complicated the departure. The application to leave the United States was barely ever granted.

“Were they arrested?” Oliver asked, “Or killed?”

“No,” Felicity replied, shaking her head. “They have a happy life in Austria.”

“Austria?”

“Yes.” Felicity chuckled. “They managed to make it to Mexico and took a flight to Austria. Curtis got a job in a computer company and Paul takes care of the Austrian soccer team.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“I think it is. They have a happy, unburdened life.” Felicity sighed. “I am really happy for them, but I always feel this stitch of jealousy like you do with Tommy and Laurel. It would be nice to have what they have, but running away is highly dangerous these days.”

Oliver nodded. “Do you get to talk to him often?”

“Good thing about being a computer genius is that you know exactly if a line is safe and unhackable or not,” Felicity replied with an amused grin.

“I can imagine that.”

For a moment they both smiled at each other, and Oliver was relieved that the smile had come back to her face. With the many horror stories there were about couples who had been forced into a violent or at least loveless marriage, people who had been punished for breaking any of the laws or even been killed when they had tried to leave the United States, it was nice if someone had any happy stories to tell. They gave hope.

“Where did you learn everything you know about computers?”

“MIT,” Felicity answered. “I graduated with a master’s degree in Cyber Security and Computer Science. After that I worked for Bruce Wayne at Wayne Enterprise for a few years until I decided to start my own business.”

“Smoak Technologies,” Oliver said with a nod of his head and Felicity perked up an eyebrow, making him chuckle. “At some point during the last week the sign on that building leaped to my eyes, and I just made the conclusion that it might be yours.”

Felicity chuckled. “I always forget that sign is there.”

“And why computers?” Oliver asked.

“I built computers since I was seven,” Felicity explained. “I was driving my mom insane with it because I was so much more into technology than Barbie dolls and princess tea parties. My mom is… well, she’s my mom.”

Felicity rolled her eyes slightly, making Oliver frown. “And that means…?”

“She’s a cocktail waitress in Vegas and… she’s quite girly and extroverted. We have very differing personalities which never really helped us to build a good relationship. We call each other from time to time, but that’s it. We have a rather strained relationship.”

“Is she still living in Vegas?”

Felicity nodded. “I don’t see her often. The farer away from each other we are, the better our relationship is, I guess. I might go back to Vegas for Hanukah, though. I think that seeing her once a year is the least I should do. I mean… She never really did anything wrong. We are just different.”

Oliver nodded, thinking about what to ask her next for a second. “So you got your love for computers from your dad?”

“Yes,” Felicity replied shortly, nodding her head.

“He must be very proud of you with your graduation from MIT and your own company. I don’t think many people manage to do that.”

How couldn’t a father be amazed by that? Oliver barely knew Felicity and he definitely was amazed by what she had achieved. Even if he hadn’t ended up on an island, he was sure he hadn’t made it through college. He had been a terrible student. His teachers had always said that he was smart, but unfortunately too lazy to use his potential. The fact that Felicity had graduated from a good college like MIT and had built her own company from scratch was just amazing.

He was about to tell her that when she explained, “My dad left my mom and me.”

She tried to hide it, but Oliver didn’t miss the slight pain in her voice. She looked away from him for a short moment, taking in a breath. She was smiling the same quite sad smile that had been on her face when she had started talking about Curtis and how much she missed him.

“I don’t remember much about him,” she added after a while. “I just know that we were a lot more similar than my mom and I are. I always wanted to impress him, but he left nonetheless.”

“I’m sorry,” Oliver whispered, squeezing her hand.

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “It’s a long time ago. It just sucks. I loved him so much and one night he just packed his things and left. No goodbye that night and no calls or cards later on. I have no idea where he is or if he’s even alive anymore.”

“Do you think he left the country?”

Again Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I have no idea. And I think at one point I just stopped caring. I mean as a little girl I always told myself that he was a hero and used his knowledge of computers to somehow help people escape or help them getting married to the person they wanted to, but…”

She chuckled sadly, shaking her head.

“It’s a nice thought,” Oliver stated.

“It comforted me for the first few years,” Felicity explained, “but the only thing that really matters is that he left us.”

Oliver nodded. He had had a close relationship to his parents though he had to admit that he had been more than angry at his father after he had died. It was a little irrational because Oliver didn’t support the law and never had. He understood why people had relationships outside of their marriages. It was just that his parents had always seemed to act jointly until the moment he had learned about his father’s affair.

Felicity had even more reason to feel betrayed by her father. If he had left them, it couldn’t have been easy for her or her mother.

“How did your mother get through the investigation?”

“My dad left with all the money they had saved. My mom had no job, little life experience and an eight-year-old daughter who needed new shoes and wanted to go to Space Camp which she couldn’t afford,” Felicity replied. “I think the investigators could see that she wasn’t prepared to live without him and hence didn’t know he was going to leave.”

“At least that is something good.”

Felicity nodded. “Yes, it was kind of the only good  thing about all of that.”

“Was she forced to get married again?”

“No. Since my father couldn’t be found, she is still married to him officially. She had a child and wasn’t rich and privileged, so it didn’t matter much to them anyway.”

Oliver knew it was usually the rich and privileged people as Felicity had put it that got to get married a second time when their spouses went missing or died. It had probably something to do with the thought that a) rich people might live healthier because they didn’t have to work hard, b) could offer their offspring better chances of good education and c) rather likely supported the system. 

“Sorry,” he said quietly. “I guess it was hard for her.”

“Actually I think it was better that way,” Felicity replied. “If she had gotten married to someone she didn’t love…”

Felicity shook her head, sighing.

“I guess one loveless marriage is enough for a lifetime.”

“I think my mom did love my dad,” Felicity told him, frowning slightly. “I even think he was in love with her, but… I don’t know. He left nonetheless.”

Sighing quietly, Felicity turned her gaze away from him and looked at their linked fingers. Her hand loosened from his, but she didn’t pull her fingers back. Instead she moved the tips of them up his arm. She started at his wrist and slowly moved them over his forearm and elbow to his biceps. Her fingertips lingered there for a moment before they moved back down again. When their gazes locked again, Felicity shrugged her shoulders once more.

“Well, it’s definitely his loss,” Oliver told her. “He doesn’t know what he is missing out on.”

Felicity smiled. “Thanks.”

Again silence settled. Oliver and Felicity just looked at each other, neither of them saying a word. Oliver couldn’t remember when silence had felt this comfortable the last time. He had always liked surrounding himself with loud music and lots of people to fill any loneliness he might have felt. Unlike the silence at the start of their date, this silence now felt pleasant, and Oliver felt no urge to fill it.

If it was possible, the little he knew about Felicity now only made her more beautiful. Knowing that she had achieved what she had achieved despite her strained relationship to her mom, her absent father and missing her only friend made her even more interesting. She was remarkable.

Smiling, he slowly leaned forward until their lips were only a breath away. He let her close the last of the distance between them, though. Her lips were soft and felt perfect against his like they had been made just to kiss him. Since she had kissed him before, he had wanted to kiss her again, but he felt like the emotional closeness they created by talking already felt so intense. Adding the physical closeness to it was almost overwhelming. When he gently swiped his tongue over her bottom lip, he could taste the wine there. He pulled back instead of deepening the kiss, though.

“Do you want more wine?”

“That would be nice, yes,” Felicity replied. “It’s a good wine.”

“Absolutely,” Oliver agree with a smile. “Given the price it’s only fair. It’s a-“

“Lafite Rothschild 1982,” Felicity interrupted him.

Oliver perked up an eyebrow. “I take it that you are a wine expert?”

“Yes, absolutely. I know exactly what wine I like and what wine I don’t,” Felicity replied with a chuckle. “Lafite Rothschild is my favorite wine.”

“Mine too,” Oliver replied surprised though he didn’t exactly know why he was surprised about it. Felicity was right. It was a good wine.

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, cocking her head slightly. She looked at him intensely, not saying a word. The corners of her mouth twitched slightly.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” she finally asked. Oliver didn’t get the chance to answer, though. Just when he had started thinking about it, Felicity quickly added, “I don’t ask that because of the wine. There are a lot of people who like wine and who even like the same wine, especially when it’s good wine like that and… You know what? Better don’t answer that question at all. Sorry. It just slipped my mind before I could think about it and-“

“I don’t think I did,” Oliver replied nonetheless, fighting the smile about her babble. “The thought that you are connected to a person in a way that you can’t change and that you maybe can’t even understand is scary, don’t you think? With the world we live in it would be terrible to feel connected to someone who the government thinks you can’t make the perfectly healthy and smart babies that will preserve this world with.”

His words, the joke about the government’s last commercial, didn’t have the effect he had hoped on. He had wanted to make Felicity smile, but she just looked at him with a slight frown on her forehead. He couldn’t count how many times he had asked himself this in the last hours, but once more he wondered what was going on in her head right now.

“The day we first met I told Tommy that for me it’s better not to be with someone I could really care about. Tommy told me that if I didn’t try to find someone, I would never be happy, though. So I asked you over for dinner and now I told you a lot about me and it feels good. I do feel connected to you in a way I don’t understand. So… so maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was wrong about not believing in soulmates and about thinking I couldn’t be with someone I can care about.”

He looked at her with an expression of honesty in his eyes. Looking at her, he could actually see it. He could see himself being with someone. Felicity was interesting, sweet and funny and a lot of other things he probably didn’t know yet. She seemed like someone he could really care about. Maybe he already cared about her in a way. Felicity just smiled at him.

Oliver enjoyed the quiet moment for a while before he said with low voice, “I’ll get us another bottle of wine.”

“When did a glass turn into a bottle?” Felicity asked with a chuckle.

“Since it’s both of our favorite wine, I guess one glass is not enough,” Oliver replied with a chuckle.

He winked at her when he got up and then walked towards the kitchen to grab another bottle of wine. He had taken a few bottles from Verdant here for tonight, and he was glad that he had decided to trust his gut and take his favorite wine.

While he opened the bottle at the kitchen island, he decided that this first date was going great. After the bumpy and even awkward start, it had only gotten better. Well, it probably couldn’t have gotten worse, so he shouldn’t be surprised. He was, though. He was surprised it was going this well. For their first date together and his first real date ever, it was really going surprisingly great.

On his way back to the couch, he thought about what question he should ask Felicity next. There was so much more he wanted to know about her and her childhood and her life now. He didn’t know where to start. Maybe they should take away some of the intensity this evening had so far with stories about parents that had died or left and friends that had moved far away to escape the government, though. Even without any experience in dating he was sure that they were quite heavy subjects for a first date.

“So what’s your favorite mo-“

Oliver stopped when he found that Felicity had fallen asleep. Her head rested on her upper arm on the back of the couch. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly opened. Oliver couldn’t help the smile spreading on his face at the sight.

Looking at the bottle of wine, he considered waking her up, but he felt unable to. She was so peaceful. He put the bottle of wine to the couch table and looked back at Felicity, thinking about what to do. He couldn’t wake her, but he couldn’t just leave her here either. She would have a terrible backache because the couch was anything but comfortable to sleep on.

He hesitated only shortly before he pushed one arm under the back of her knees and the other behind her back. He lifted her from the couch easily, her head sinking to his shoulder with a quiet sigh. Slowly Oliver walked upstairs. He opened the door to the guestroom with his elbow, went in and lay her down on the mattress, careful not to wake her. Felicity only sighed quietly once more and rolled onto her side, though.

Oliver watched her for a short moment before he decided that it was best to leave her alone, so she could sleep. He leaned down and gently kissed her head, then turned around and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

Smiling, he leaned back against the door for a few seconds. He didn’t know what he had imagined would happen at this evening. He had had high hopes already, but in some way it felt like those hadn’t only been met, but even surpassed. This really had been a good evening.

 

 

Felicity turned her face into the mattress with a groan, pulling the pillow over her head to shut out the light and the terrible chirping of the birds outside. She tried to find a better position to sleep, but in the tights it was almost impossible. She hated sleeping in her tights. No matter how tired she was, she always took them off before falling into bed. She must have been beyond tired if she had forgotten to do so when she had come back last night.

Slowly Felicity opened her eyes. The last thing she remembered was sitting on Oliver’s couch and talking to him about anything and everything or rather him and her - him and her as separate individuals of course because there was no him and her together. She remembered that she had told him personal things about her, very personal things. She had even told him about Curtis’ succeeded escape and her dad and she rarely ever talked about either of them. If she did, it was actually to herself.

Felicity didn’t know how to feel about that. Did she feel exposed? She remembered that she hadn’t felt exposed at all when she had told him last night. She had felt safe then, but now… The evening had been intense, maybe too intense looking back now. What she had told him were things she shouldn’t have told him or at least things she shouldn’t have told him during a first date. She knew he had done the same, but…

Taking in a deep breath, Felicity pulled the pillow from her face and sat up. She must have fallen asleep on his couch because not only couldn’t she remember going home, but she had also no idea where she was. This definitely wasn’t her bedroom. She could say that much. Frowning, she turned her head and took a look out of the window. If the view was any indication, she was still in Oliver’s loft.

“Frack!” Felicity cursed quietly.

She quickly got out of bed and looked around for her shoes and her purse, but couldn’t find either of them. They had to be at the couch where she remembered she last had them yesterday. Immediately Felicity hurried to the door. She opened it a little, taking a look outside, before she quickly pushed herself outside onto the gallery.

“It’s unusual for Oliver not to be up yet.”

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut. She had hoped that she could disappear unnoticed. She had wanted to write a quick note and leave without having to talk to anyone, but apparently that was impossible. She shot a look to the open living area downstairs and found two women in the kitchen. One of them was cooking while the other was sitting at the kitchen island, drinking coffee. If Oliver didn’t have any other female housemates he hadn’t told her about, that must be Nyssa and Sara.

“It’s not that unusual,” the one with the dark hair replied. “A few months back he barely got out of bed before noon.”

“That was before Tommy’s wedding, though,” the blonde replied. “Anyway, if he doesn’t get up soon, I will start… I don’t know… I will just do something loud to wake him.”

“Why?”

“I want to know how his date has been going. Aren’t you nosy at all?”

“Given that her purse and shoes are still here, I think I might already know how it has been going.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. Once more in her life she wished she could just disappear. She really didn’t want to listen to this conversation, but she also didn’t want to go back because then she was stuck in that bedroom again. All she really wanted was to leave.

“Do you think he fell back into old habits? He was so excited about this date, and I think he really wants something serious this time. Jumping into bed with her at the first opportunity given would be such a step back.”

“I don’t know, Sara,” the dark-haired that had to be Nyssa then said with a sigh. “I just hope whatever he is doing is finally making him happy.”

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut for another moment. Yesterday had been serious. It had been very serious, maybe even too serious. It had been too serious, too intense, too much in too little time. She had talked about letting herself just fall, but she had never done that before. And until now she hadn’t realized how scary letting yourself fall was because eventually after the fall you hit the ground.

Taking in a deep breath, Felicity gathered her courage and quickly started walking towards the stairs. She was already halfway down the stairs when she caught Nyssa’s eyes on her, and only a second later Sara turned around on the barstool to look at her too. Felicity felt a blush spreading on her face under the women’s scrutinizing gazes. Biting down on her bottom lip, she smiled insecurely, but continued her way to the couch nonetheless.

“Morning,” she said quietly.

“Morning,” Nyssa replied.

“Do you want coffee?” Sara added.

“No, thanks,” Felicity replied with a forced smile. “I… uhm… I should go.”

She quickly put her phone that was still on the couch table into her purse and sat down on the couch to put on her shoes. She tried to hurry, but it only made it harder to close the straps.

“Did you sleep well?” Sara asked awkwardly into the silence.

“Yes, absolutely,” Felicity hurried to answer with a polite smile. “I slept in the guest room after falling asleep on the couch and I actually wanted to just sneak out now because I have things to do at home, important things that can’t wait. Things like… well, things. Anyway, I wasn’t really expecting someone to be here and meeting the wife and the wife’s girlfriend of the guy you just dated is kind of awkward. And I understand a lot about awkwardness because I use to babble which can easily get me into awkward situations. As you can hear.”

Felicity bit her tongue and took in a deep breath of relief when finally her shoes were safely on her feet. Quickly she grabbed her purse and got up from the couch. Her eyes met Sara’s face. She was smiling at her.

“You’re cute,” Sara said.

Felicity shot an insecure glance at Nyssa, who only frowned at her.

“I… really should go now.”

“Don’t you want to tell Oliver you’re leaving?” Nyssa asked.

“Uhm… no… I am really… I really need to go and… you just tell him that I had to leave and… and…” she stammered awkwardly, walking to the door.

God, this was probably one of the most awkward moments for her in awhile. Nyssa and Sara were still eyeing her up. Felicity would like to turn around and just leave, but she had the weird feeling that as soon as she turned around, they would attack her like feral cats that only waited until their prey wasn’t looking to bite their necks. Nyssa really had cat eyes, beautiful and alerted and-

“Thanks,” Nyssa suddenly said.

Felicity’s blush deepened when she realized that she had said that out loud. Great! Now she was also kind of accidentally flirting with Oliver’s wife in front of Nyssa’s girlfriend. This morning was getting more and more to the top of the list of awkward situations she had been forced through in a while now.

“Okay, I  _ really  _ should go now. I-“

“Felicity, you’re up already.”

Immediately Felicity turned around, finding Oliver hurrying down the stairs. He was already dressed in jeans and a shirt, looking at least a thousand times better than she did with her messy hair and slightly smeared make-up.

“Uhm… yes, I was just...” Felicity started, gesturing to the door.

Oliver stepped right in front of her, took her hand and gently kissed the corner of her lips. Felicity felt her heart beating up into her throat. She had felt the same way when he had kissed her yesterday, so apparently that feeling hadn’t been caused by the wine or the intensity of what they had told each other.

“Come on. Sit down, have some coffee and-“

“No,” Felicity interrupted him.

She pulled her hand back out of his hold when he tried to tug her into the kitchen area. Oliver turned around, looking at her with a frown that showed a lack of understanding.

“Everything alright?”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, shooting a short glance to Sara and Nyssa, who immediately pretended to be really busy eating the breakfast Nyssa had made. She doubted that they weren’t listening, though.

What had she been thinking? Going on a date with someone who was in a complicated marriage like this was insane. It was amazing that they had this agreement in their marriage, it really was. Felicity admired how they were still living their lives despite a law that had forced them to get married. She just didn’t see how she would fit into that. This was dangerous, and if last night had shown anything than it was that Oliver was making her being careless about keeping her caution and…

The idea of finding someone she could be with and really connect with had been tempting when she had just thought about it. Now that she was in the middle of what almost felt like falling in love she realized it wasn’t tempting. It was just crazy. Life was complicated as it was and making it even more dangerous…

Felicity shook her head. “I’m sorry. I…”

Taking in another deep breath, she quickly turned around and left.


	4. Just like starting over

She had to run. Of course she had to run. How should she have been able not to run after what had happened last night and then this morning?

She had felt so close to Oliver, but she barely knew him yet. She knew a lot about him, but she didn’t know him, not really. Felicity didn’t know if that made sense, but that was how it was for her. She could repeat a lot of facts about his life, but did that mean that she really knew him and knew what kind of person he was? She doubted it.

If it didn’t mean that she knew him, though, then why did she feel as close to him as she did? She remembered talking about soulmates, but honestly that thought was just weird. Felicity wanted to believe in soulmates because that is how she had felt about him. She felt this kind of bond that only higher powers could explain given how little she really knew him. The existence of soulmates was not scientifically proven, though, so how was she supposed to honestly believe in something like that? She was a quite rational person after all.

Then again she was also a religious person. She was Jewish, so she had a belief in God, and there wasn’t exactly any proof for his existence either and-

“Felicity, hi.”

Felicity winced, being startled out of her thoughts. When she looked up and found John, who seemed to have just come back from a morning run, lifting his hands like a criminal that faced the police, she chuckled. Shaking her head, she tried to clear her mind from the wild thoughts that had been spinning in her head since she had left Oliver’s loft.

“Hey, everything alright?” John asked, approaching her until he stood right in front of her. He put one hand to her upper arm, looking at her with worried eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Is Lyla home?” Felicity asked and bit down on her bottom lip.

“No, she took Andria to her swimming group.”

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut. “Frack! I forgot that’s always on Saturdays.”

Now who was she supposed to talk to? She had hoped Lyla would be able to help her getting a little more insight on what Felicity was supposed to do now. Part of her really wanted to go back and talk to Oliver, but then again that would be beyond crazy. The evening had been nice, amazing even. Oliver had been great. Everything had been close to perfect. It had just been so intense which given the situation with him being married and-

“Felicity?” John said once again, squeezing her shoulders.

“I… uhm…” Felicity took in a deep breath, feeling tears springing to her eyes.

“Felicity, what happened?” John asked even more urgently now. “Are you hurt? Did that guy do anything to you? Did you get caught or-?”

“No, I’m fine,” Felicity hurried to say. She quickly took in a sniffling breath, shaking her head and chuckling sadly. “Really, I’m fine. I’m just…”

She gestured around, trying to get John to just let it go. He crossed his arms in front of his broad chest and ducked his head slightly. His gaze was unwavering, telling her that he didn’t really believe that she was indeed fine. Felicity tried to hold his gaze as long as possible before she released a long sigh, admitting defeat.

“Can we go in?” she suggested, nodding towards the door.

“Sure.”

John nodded, already pushing his hand into the pocket of his sweat pants. When he pulled out the keys, he quickly unlocked the door and stepped into the house. Felicity followed right behind him. While John went over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, Felicity closed the door behind her and went right over to the living room. She let herself fall down onto the couch, carelessly dropping her purse to the floor. She leaned her head back with a sigh, staring at the ceiling.

She heard John coming closer. He sat down on the couch next to her, not saying a word. She could feel his gaze on her face, but she needed another moment before she felt like she was able to speak. She took in a deep breath.

“The date was great,” she finally said, still continuing to look at the ceiling. “Oliver was… amazing. He told me all these things about himself, very personal things. Then I told him a little bit about me. I told him about my parents and about Curtis.”

Felicity took in another deep breath, remembering how they had been sitting on the couch together, talking about all those things while holding hands. The blue of his eyes had been like the color of the ocean – she could have easily drowned in it. She doubted that that was indeed something good. It was rather dangerous. The ocean often looked so calm, but if you felt safe there, you could easily drown.

Or get eaten by sharks, her thoughts added unnecessarily, and Felicity shook her head, adding towards John, “I told him I felt safe with him. I still do in a way. I-“

Felicity stopped, trying to find the right words to tell him, but she wasn’t sure how to say what she was feeling or thinking about the last night. She wasn’t even sure if she really knew what she was feeling, not really.

“It was so intense. Intimate and intense,” Felicity whispered. The words echoed through her mind again and again, making her frown. “It’s not like we had sex. We didn’t have sex. We absolutely didn’t have sex. I might have wanted to have sex with him in a way because he is a great kisser, and his body is just-“

“Got it,” John interrupted her babble quietly.

Felicity quickly cleared her throat, feeling a blush spread on her face. She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes for a moment. She could almost taste Oliver’s lips on hers still. She opened her eyes again, refocusing on the stain on the ceiling.

“It was like a rush… like I was being intoxicated, and now I woke up,” Felicity whispered. “Or maybe that isn’t the right way to put it… I just… I still trust him in some weird way, but it’s like I only now really understand the danger of… of getting any deeper into what started last night. He is married. There is absolutely no chance that we will ever be able to be together like Lyla and you are. I know it’s crazy to talk about something like that after only one date, but I don’t mean I want to marry him or anything. All I am trying to say is that I have no idea where this would lead to if we got any deeper into this because there is no future with the laws that will forever stand between me and any man except for the one I will eventually have to get married to and-”

Felicity stopped, feeling more and more like her babble made her sound like a crazy person. Slowly she turned her head to look at John. He had his head propped up onto his hand, watching her with his head cocked and a gentle smile playing on his lips. John always had this aura of calmness around him that affected Felicity.

“Do you think I am being crazy?” Felicity asked, narrowing her eyes at John slightly. “I was so sure about dating him at first. Then I got scared, but I told him, so we tried to be all honest with each other. Again I felt safe, but now… Oh, I don’t know, John. You know me. Usually I sit down. I make a decision, and I stick with it, but this time around? I am so confused and overwhelmed and… and I know it’s dangerous, but I would like to get to know him better even if there is no future for us, but then again I think it could be too dangerous and too painful because I like him so much already and… I just don’t know.”

Felicity sighed. She had tried to try something new by going out on a date. It had been so long that she had last got involved with someone, and she missed it in a way. Maybe she should have picked someone who was easier to date, someone who was single like she was. Or was that even more difficult because then there were two people that needed to get married within only few weeks once they were told who to get married to? At least with Oliver they knew that he was married to someone who would never stand in the way of his relationship. Was that better or more complicated? She didn’t know, Felicity realized and sighed once more.

“Life is complicated, Felicity,” John said. Felicity turned her head to look at John again. He was still smiling quietly. “Life here in the States is even more than complicated. For Lyla and me it might have gotten easier, but unmarried people like you or unhappily married people like Oliver don’t have it easy at all. It’s dangerous for them.”

“Yeah,” Felicity whispered.

What this country needed was a new government, but she knew it would never happen. There were new elections at the end of the next year, but once the current party was going to set their candidate, the winner was set in stone. The result of elections had been manipulated for years. Barely anyone even went to vote anymore because it didn’t make a change. The corrupt election assistants would take precautions so that the government would stay.

So until the government would resign which of course they would never do, everything was going to stay as it was. No matter whether they chose to vote Ray Palmer or any of their other politicians as their presidential candidate, nothing would change. The ministry would continue to pair people up to get married. People would continue to try and flee this dictatorship, and many would lose their lives trying. People would get into unhappy marriages and try to escape by either having affairs that most likely made them end up in prison or by killing themselves.

“We are all going to die, though,” John continued with a sigh. “Some of us might die sooner, and some later, but at the end we will all be dead.”

“That’s… not really comforting at all,” Felicity stated, glancing at her friend.

John smiled quietly. “What I am trying to say is that you can stare down death with something to live for or not. Something to live for… is better.”

“You say that so easily,” Felicity said with a sigh. “You’re married to someone you love with all your heart.”

“The same might happen to you,” John replied, “or maybe it doesn’t. It’s a scaring thought to be left in the air like that, and it could continue like that for quite some time.”

Felicity nodded. Usually people got the letters with their supposed partner between their 20th and 30th birthday. Sometimes it was earlier, sometimes later. She was 26 years old now. It might take a few years before she got the letter. Luckily, she should add. There weren’t any statistics about how many marriages were really happy, but Felicity doubted that she’d be that lucky.

Finding someone outside of a marriage might be her only chance of happiness, but it was also dangerous. Felicity wasn’t a coward, but she felt it was important to be careful. Just like she didn’t want to be unhappy, she didn’t want to be in prison either.

“Felicity, I don’t know what will happen to you and that Oliver-guy. It might be something serious, or it might be just a fling. You might have to get married soon or maybe not. You might get married to someone you grow to love or maybe not,” John stated. “The question is if you want to wait until you find out whether the ministry will find someone for you that you can be happy with or if you want to use this chance to try and find out if maybe you can find happiness by yourself.”

 

 

“Ollie, are you even listening to me?”

“Hm?”

When Oliver looked up from the table top and into his sister’s face, he found her looking at him with her head cocked and lips pursed. A frown had formed on her forehead, and her eyes were slightly narrowed at him.

“I… uhm…” Oliver stammered under her strict gaze before he shook his head with a quiet chuckle. “Sorry, Thea. I’m a little bit distracted.”

“Is it because of your date?” Thea asked. She sipped at her coffee, holding the mug in both of her hands. “I take it it didn’t go well?”

“It was amazing,” Oliver replied with a quiet sigh, looking down at his half-empty mug in his hands. “Felicity is great. She is sweet, funny and smarter than-“

Oliver looked up at Thea again, frowning. His sister looked back innocently over the edge of her the coffee mug.

“I never told you I have a date,” Oliver stated.

Thea smiled. “No, you didn’t, but someone else might have.”

“Sara,” Oliver said with a groan, rolling his eyes.

He knew it wasn’t Nyssa because she was not really the chatty kind of person. Sara on the other hand was more likely to spread news like that. She and Thea had become friends as soon as they had met each other. Sara even went to visit her at college every once in awhile. Oliver was glad they were good friends like that.

“Well, to be fair she might have thought that you told me already,” Thea explained with a smile, putting her mug down. “And she might have been a little bit tipsy after some tequila shots, but that is a different story. Anyway, I’m happy you chose to ask someone over for dinner. It’s a big step for you.”

Oliver nodded slowly, shrugging his shoulders. “She seemed nice, and I decided it was time to do things differently. She seemed to be the right person to try something different.”

“So what is Felicity like?” Thea asked.

“She’s beautiful,” Oliver started, remembering how beautiful her face had been in the dim of the living room when they had talked last night. “She is successful because she is beyond smart like literally the smartest person I have ever met. She babbles when she is nervous which is equally sweet and funny. Sometimes the babbling takes her to embarrassing places which makes her blush and bite down onto her bottom lip. She-“ Oliver shook his head. “She is just wonderful.”

“If she is the reason I see the first honest smile on your face in years, then I like her already,” Thea said quietly. She took her brother’s hand and squeezed it gently. She shot a quick look around, making sure nobody in this coffee shop was listening before she added, “I’m very proud you decided to try finding someone.”

Oliver smiled in gratitude. Though for him she would probably always stay the little sister that had followed him wherever he had gone when they had been younger, he couldn’t deny that she had grown up immensely over the last years. When he had come back from the island, he had barely been able to recognize her. She had been a struggling teen then, and it had gotten worse after their mom had died. Now she was a young adult, who had just started college and was taking control over her life. During the last years they had grown very close to each other. They were each other’s only real family left.

“I might have already ruined it,” Oliver said after a while, sighing.

Thea frowned. “Why? What happened?”

“She was insecure because of the date,” Oliver replied. “Just like Nyssa told me to be careful, her friend told her the same. She wanted to be careful and get to know me, so I offered to tell her everything there is to know about me.”

“Everything?” Thea asked, perking up an eyebrow.

“I told her about dad and Isabel. I told her about the island. I told her about mom. I told her about Nyssa, Sara and me.”

“You told her about the island? Like what happened there?”

“I never talk about what happened there,” Oliver replied simply. “She knows I was there, and she knows it was horrible. That is all there is to know.”

Thea gave him a look, wordlessly objecting. He knew that she wished he would talk to someone about what had happened on the island. She had told him very soon after he had come back that he needed to talk to someone about what had happened to him. He hadn’t, and he wouldn’t in any foreseeable time because if he couldn’t forget about the island, the least he wanted was to think about it as rarely as possible.

“That sounds quite intense for a first date,” Thea finally said.

“And I think that is exactly why I ruined it. It was too intense,” Oliver explained. It was what he had been thinking again and again. He had even thought it last night already, and he had wanted to slow it down, but Felicity had fallen asleep and their date had kind of ended abruptly. Then this morning, when he had wanted to talk to her about it, he hadn’t gotten the chance. “She ran off this morning.”

He lowered his gaze to the tabletop and took a sip of his coffee. He understood why she had run. It had just been too much. They had had a perfect start last week when they had met in the basement of Verdant, but then they had just jumped the gun with telling each other all those intimate things. The reason behind it had been a good one, but it just hadn’t had the result they had hoped for.

“Did you think about the possibility that maybe she ran off because that is what the girls you sleep with usually do the next morning?”

“I didn’t sleep with her,” Oliver answered distantly, trying to make eye contact with the barista.

“You just said she ran off this morning, so she stayed overnight.”

“She fell asleep on the couch. I took her to the guestroom,” Oliver answered without looking at his sister. When she looked at him, he waved his mug around, and the young woman nodded. Smiling, he set his mug back down on the table and turned to Thea. He frowned at the way she looked at him like he had just told her he was planning on taking a weekend off to go back to Lian Yu. “What?”

“You didn’t sleep with her,” Thea said with a surprise in her voice that should probably have offended Oliver. “That’s… I mean… Don’t get me wrong. You are my brother, and I love you, but I don’t think you ever let a girl stay overnight for anything but some fun. No girls but Sara, Nyssa and me obviously. Are you in love with her?”

“Thea, I have just gotten to know her,” Oliver replied, avoiding his sister’s eyes.

“The way you talk about her and the way you look when you do… You like her. You really, really like her, don’t you?”

“She is-“ Oliver started, but didn’t know how to continue. He looked at Thea and sighed. “Yes, I like her.”

He really liked Felicity. He had liked her from the first second on, and maybe he could fall in love with her one day soon. He just wasn’t ready to admit that maybe he was already on the edge of doing so. It was too much and too soon like so much about last night had been too much and too soon. Trying to slow things down when he was already feeling butterflies fluttering in his stomach just thinking about Felicity would be everything but easy.

The barista poured Oliver and Thea some coffee. The pretty redhead kept her eyes on Oliver the entire time, smiling at him seductively. Every other time he would probably have smiled back. Not today, though.

“You have to fight for her, Ollie,” Thea told him once they were alone again.

“I am not sure she even wants that,” Oliver replied sadly, shrugging his shoulders. “Maybe it’s too dangerous. I don’t want her to get into danger because of me, and there is the chance that she gets married to someone she will fall in love with. It wouldn’t be right to take that from her by making it complicated, would it?”

“Well, it’s-“

When Thea frowned in question, looking slightly past her brother, Oliver turned around to follow her gaze. He felt his heart racing in his chest when he found Felicity standing only a few feet away. She had her front teeth buried in her bottom lip, looking at Thea and him with an insecure expression in her eyes.

“Uhm… hi,” she said awkwardly, and a deep blush spread on her face. “I didn’t want to interrupt or listen though I have to admit that I kind of did both which I really didn’t intend to, but it happened and-“

“Felicity,” Oliver said calmly, stopping her babble. “It’s nice to see you again so soon.”

Felicity smiled back at him, her blush deepening a little more. She stepped closer to the table, coming to stand right next to him. She glanced at the free chair, but instead of sitting down, she positioned herself behind it. Her hands came to grip the backrest. She was just about to say something to him when she quickly turned her head and glanced at Thea instead.

“Felicity, this is my sister Thea,” Oliver introduced them quickly.

“Hi, it’s really nice to meet you,” Felicity said, “and I am sorry for interrupting.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Thea replied. She looked at Oliver for a short moment, and he made a barely visible movement with his head. It was enough for Thea to see, though. “I was just about to leave.”

“I didn’t mean to-“ Felicity started before she turned her head to look at Oliver again. “You don’t have to send her away.”

“I didn’t,” Oliver replied innocently. “Thea was just about to leave.”

Felicity puckered her lips and cocked her head in a way that made him smile. She obviously didn’t believe him, but he didn’t need her to. He was actually glad that she looked right through it. They kept looking at each other, not saying a word, while Thea was quickly taking her jacket and her purse.

“It was nice meeting you,” she said to Felicity before she kissed Oliver’s cheek and whispered in his ear, “Get her.”

Oliver glanced back over his shoulder, watching his sister leave. Only when Thea had disappeared, he turned back to Felicity. She was still standing awkwardly behind that free chair next to him.

“Sit down,” Oliver suggested. “Do you want coffee?”

“Sure,” Felicity replied.

His thoughts were running wild. What was Felicity doing here? Had she come here to see him or had she only come here to get a cup of coffee without knowing he was here? He hoped for the first, but he didn’t dare to let that hope increase. He just hoped that he would get a chance to talk to her about last night and this morning. Maybe everything wasn’t as ruined as he had feared it was.

While she sat down on the opposite side of the table where Thea had been before, Oliver gestured to the barista to get another mug of coffee. When Oliver looked back at Felicity, he found her looking around nervously.

“Relax,” Oliver said quietly. “We are just two people drinking a coffee together.”

Felicity chuckled, squeezing her eyes shut. “Sorry. I’m not usually this paranoid.”

“It’s a good thing to be careful,” Oliver told her. “The more nervous you are, the more suspicions you will raise, though. And yes, I am speaking from experience.”

The barista approached them and poured Felicity a mug of coffee, then refilled Oliver’s. Again, she looked at him with a seductive smile, but Oliver only saw it from the edge of his visual field. His eyes were focused on Felicity, who took the coffee mug in both of her hands and lifted it to her nose. She breathed in the steam of the coffee, closing her eyes. Oliver bit his tongue, smiling at the sight. After she had sipped at the coffee, she opened her eyes with a dreamy smile.

“You really are a coffee addict, aren’t you?”

Felicity smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “I’d rather say a coffee enthusiast because if I was an addict, I would have to stop drinking coffee eventually. I don’t think I will ever be ready for that.”

“What people can survive without coffee?”

“Exactly. They can’t be real people, right?” Felicity asked back in a whisper before she chuckled. It only lasted a moment, though. She soon cleared her throat and looked at Oliver seriously. “Nyssa told me I could find you here. I hope you didn’t mind that she-”

“I am glad she did,” Oliver replied honestly. “I was thinking about coming to see you, but I didn’t know if I really should given that…”

“I ran off this morning?” Felicity offered.

Oliver smiled, shrugging his shoulders. He kept his voice low when he replied, “I get that. Last night was quite intense.”

“Yeah,” Felicity replied just as quietly. “I don’t know, but I think it was too intense for me.”

“I get that too,” Oliver assured. “I actually realized that we were maybe doing this whole first date thing wrong yesterday already when I was getting the second bottle of wine.”

“The wine we never got to drink.”

“I didn’t want to wake you.”

Their voices were so low by now that they could barely hear each other, but they kept talking in the same quiet volume nonetheless. Felicity had her arms crossed on the edge of the table, smiling at Oliver slightly.

“I was about to ask you what your favorite movie is,” Oliver continued after a while. “I thought if I took away some of the intensity it would feel more like a first date than whatever our first date felt like.”

“My favorite movie is… God, there are so many… I think I will go with…” Felicity pressed her lips together, scrunching up her nose in a sweet way that warmed Oliver’s heart. “I can’t decide. It’s too difficult. Ask me something easier.”

Oliver chuckled. “Your favorite restaurant?”

“You will laugh. It’s Big Belly Burger.”

“Ha! Mine too! They make the best burgers.”

“And the best fries.”

“And the best milk shakes.”

“You have to mix the chocolate flavor with the strawberry one,” Felicity recommended. “It’s the best.”

“I will try as soon as I am there the next time,” Oliver promised with a smile.

“You know, when I was in college, I didn’t have that much money but there was a Big Belly close to campus, so it was definitely an economical and practical choice. I tried so many restaurants the last years and still none is better than Big Belly’s. The worst are the really expensive ones with the servings you can only see with a magnifying glass. Honestly, I can’t tell you how many times I stopped at Big Belly’s after a work dinner because I was still hungry.”

Oliver chuckled. “I love girls with a healthy appetite.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t describe my appetite as healthy. It’s rather huge.”

That was how their first date should have been, Oliver realized. They should have talked about all the things they enjoyed and didn’t enjoy. They should have had a real conversation instead of telling each other all those things about one another while the other was mainly listening. Maybe the conversation would have even turned towards one of the heavier subjects and they would have talked about it, but it would have come naturally then.

“Felicity, I don’t regret what I told you yesterday,” Oliver said quietly. “I trust you with what I told you about myself, but it’s like we said before.”

“It was intense,” Felicity whispered, nodding her head.

Oliver smiled. He felt the urge to reach out his hands and touch Felicity. He wanted to link his fingers with hers and stroke his thumb over her delicate skin. He knew that that wasn’t a good idea, though. Cameras of private businesses weren’t officially used to look for lawbreakers, but knowing the surveillance state they lived in, Oliver was sure that they found ways and reasons to take a look at those records every now and then nonetheless.

“I think the thing is that living here is everything but easy,” Oliver said quietly.

He mirrored Felicity’s position, crossing his arms on the edge of the tabletop and leaning forward a little. He could smell the sweet scent of her perfume and had to clench his fist to keep himself from reaching out and stroke his thumb over her bottom lip as the memory of how soft it had felt against his became so much more vivid. When Felicity licked her lips, his eyes flickered down to them. God, how much he wished he could just kiss her here and now.

“When we decided to go on a date together, we decided to act against the law because we wanted control over our own life,” Oliver continued after a while. “The way we handled our first date, though, was again a result of the laws that were forced upon us.”

Felicity nodded. “Yes. I felt like with those laws and the dangers of being caught breaking it or whatever it was best to not waste any time. We rushed it, but what we didn’t think about was that we again let the laws decide how we handled things, right?”

“Right,” Oliver agreed. “Well, we can’t decide where we date for example, at least not without risking to get arrested, but we can decide on how fast we want to get to know each other and see where that leads us which is why I suggest-“

“I would like us to try again,” Felicity whispered quickly.

When Oliver perked up his eyebrows in surprise, Felicity blushed.

“I love when you blush,” Oliver said quietly, smiling at her.

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip which would easily become another thing he loved about her. Oliver had to lower his gaze and take a deep breath to get his facial expression back under control. When he looked at her again, he was still smiling, but he hoped that he looked a little less like a schoolboy with a major crush and more like an adult again.

“I decided to take matters in my own hands and not wait around until I find out what the government has planned for me. Just like you said, I want to make my own choices when it comes to my life. What I meant to say is that I would like us to go on a date again,” Felicity explained once their eyes were locked on each other’s once more. “Just this time we slow everything down.”

Oliver felt the heavy weight that had been resting on his chest since Felicity had left this morning, slowly dropping off of him. He hadn’t dared to hope to get another chance which was probably why the joy about the fact that he did get one after all was only making him happier now.

“Would that be okay?” she asked when he didn’t answer.

Oliver nodded. “Sounds great.”

“Good,” Felicity replied in a barely audible whisper.

They looked at each other without saying a word. Oliver felt his heartbeat picking up pace once more. Again he wished he could touch her, even if for only a short moment.

“I… uhm…” Felicity said, gesturing behind her, “need to go. I have some work stuff to do, so…”

Oliver nodded. “Yes, sure. I will text you later today, so we can decide when we want to see each other again, okay?”

“Sounds great,” Felicity replied with a glance at her watch. She smiled when she looked back up. “Just enough time to get myself a coffee to go before I have to leave.”

She got up and took her purse from the floor. She had almost turned around towards the counter already when Oliver quickly took the sugar caster from the table and held it out for Felicity.

“I think the sugar casters at the counter all need to be refilled. Take this instead.”

“Oh, I drink my coffee black and without sugar,” Felicity replied.

She glanced at him shortly and had already looked back into her purse before she frowned and looked at him again, longer this time. Oliver pressed his lips together and cocked his head slightly. He knew Felicity always drank her coffee black and without sugar. She had told him that, and he remembered everything she had told him. Given how Felicity bit down onto her bottom lip and sucked in a deep breath, she seemed to realize that he hadn’t meant to really offer her sugar.

“Maybe I will just try it today,” Felicity added therefore. “Today seems to be the day for giving chances, right?”

Oliver smiled. “Absolutely.”

Slowly Felicity stepped forward to take the sugar caster from his. Her fingers brushed against the back of his hand for a long moment, much longer than necessary if she was just taking the caster. Their eyes stayed locked on each other’s while they did so. Oliver could swear that he saw goosebumps spreading on Felicity’s arms, but he didn’t want to take his eyes off her face.

“I gotta go now,” Felicity stated quietly.

Her fingers still rested against his skin as they both continue to hold onto the caster. Oliver slowly moved his pinky against hers before he pulled his hand back. Felicity sighed, still not taking her eyes off him.

“I’ll text you later,” he repeated what he had said before already.

“Okay. Good. I really gotta go now.”

“Yes,” Oliver whispered.

He finally lowered his gaze because one of them needed to be the first, and he felt like if they kept looking at each other any longer, neither of them was going to go anywhere anytime soon. He heard Felicity sighing once more before she took in a deep breath. For a moment he thought she was going to say something, but in the next moment he watched her feet turning around when she was heading to the counter. He waited until he couldn’t see her feet anymore before he lifted his gaze.

Felicity stood at the counter with her back turned towards him. Oliver took his mug in both of his hands and watched her over the edge of it. She waited patiently until she got her coffee, put in some of the sugar and then headed to the door, shooting him a short look. She was barely able to hide her amused grin, but her try made her cheeks redden slightly.

Oliver gestured for the barista to bring the bill. He kept his eyes stoically on his mug then, but from the edge of his visual field he could see Felicity passing the window next to him. She took a sip of her coffee and scrunched her nose, obviously not enjoying the sugar in her drug at all.

Oliver chuckled to himself quietly. He couldn’t say why that was, but somehow everything about Felicity was waking emotions in him he hadn’t felt in quite some time. He didn’t know if slowing their dating down would help them to find a way to each other, but he certainly hoped so.

He quickly pulled out his phone from the pocket of his pants. He hesitated for a short moment, thinking about if he should invite her to dinner once more, but he decided against it.

**O:** How about lunch at Big Belly’s at Monday?

Dinners were more suspicious than lunches, and Big Belly wasn’t exactly the location where they looked for lawbreakers. It was in the Glades after all and even if they did, lunch at Big Belly’s didn’t even look like a date. For Felicity and him it might be perfect, though.

He had just put his phone back to the table when it beeped already. He quickly took a look at the text he had been sent.

**F:** Sounds great. Meet me there at 1pm?

Oliver smiled.

**O:** I’ll be waiting for you.


	5. Love on top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The total chapter number was changed to 15 since I put chapter 9 and 10 of my plan together. :)

Felicity tapped the end of her pen onto the top of her desk, trying to concentrate on the report she was supposed to read. She felt the urge to shoot another glance at the watch, but she knew that would mean admitting defeat. She had promised herself to only check the time once per page, and she had already checked halfway through this page. Felicity sighed. She had read this one line nine times now without remembering a word, though, so maybe a glance at the time would help her refocusing on her work.

“Oh, come on!” she groaned at her watch, letting the pen fall to the desk carelessly.

Twelve-twenty-six. It was only twelve-twenty-six. That just couldn’t be true because the last time she had checked it had been twelve-eighteen and she was sure that it had been more than eight minutes since. It must have been at least twenty, maybe even more.

“Ha, the battery must have died,” Felicity decided. She turned to her computer, quickly checking for the time there, but the result only made her groan. “This just can’t be true.”

Sighing, she dropped her head to her hands on the top of the desk and closed her eyes. She knew it had been a bad idea to agree on having lunch with Oliver today. If she had learned anything in the five weeks they had been dating now, it was that the thrill of anticipation before seeing him again was enough to distract her from work.

Taking things slow and decreasing the intensity of their dates hadn’t exactly changed how she felt about him. She had, without any doubt, a giant crush on that man. She might even go so far and say that she was head over heels in love with him.

With another sigh Felicity straightened back up, grabbing the pen she had discarded before. If she got through this contract early, she could actually reward herself with asking Oliver to cook for her tonight. They hadn’t seen each other all weekend because Tommy had been sick, and Oliver had been forced to take care of Verdant alone. Hence, there hadn’t been time to see each other. Maybe seeing him twice today could make up for that.

During the last month, she and Oliver had kind of settled a routine. They were seeing each other as often as possible. Sometimes they spend time at his loft, and other times he came over to visit her at her home. They had spent a whole evening, making up different excuses for when they would get caught. It had turned out that Oliver was probably the worst liar in the world. She couldn’t remember the exact crazy ideas he had had, but Felicity still wasn’t sure if he had been serious or if he had just wanted to make her laugh.

Anyway, Oliver had something that just made her feel so safe as she had never thought she’d be able to feel around a man. She remembered that when she had been with Cooper, they had always had open schoolbooks as a cover wherever they had been. When they had had sex, it had been quick, often they hadn’t even fully undressed, so they had been ready to quickly look as properly as possible if they should have been caught. She had been driven by fear because unlike Oliver, who seemed to have a lot insight on what the authorities kept their eyes on and what they didn’t care about, Cooper had never managed to make her feel safe. He had only laughed about her fear of getting caught and ending up in prison or even worse.

Admittedly, Felicity had been a little suspicious about everything Oliver seemed to know too. He had explained to her that, because of the free-spirited lifestyle he had used to have, he had learned a lot about what raised suspicions and what didn’t.

Felicity wasn’t sure if she had only been paranoid before or if it was something about Oliver that she dared to do things she had never thought she’d do before. She felt so safe with him. She was meeting him at public places on a regular basis. She was visiting him at Verdant and flirting with him there when nobody was watching. She had spent countable nights at Oliver’s loft by now and let him sleep at her home too. They had slept in the same bed, snuggled up to one another. So far they hadn’t had sex, though.

It still sucked that they could only openly show affection to one another when they were in privacy, though. When they were in one of their homes, they could hold hands and touch each other and kiss. They could be themselves there, while in public they always needed to limit themselves to allegedly accidental touches and glances.

It wasn’t easy. Indeed it was anything but. They tried to find a way to make it work, though, and Felicity felt like it was worth it. Nothing worthwhile came easy. If the difficulty of being together was a sign for how much a relationship meant and what could develop from it, then she and Oliver were definitely on their way to something very serious and very meaningful.

Felicity lifted her arms over her head, stretching her aching muscles for a short moment. She had been sitting at her desk way too long already. She just didn’t seem to make any progress on this stupid report, and she was sure she wouldn’t if-

“Ms. Smoak?”

“Gerry, I already told you to just call me Felicity,” she said with a low sigh, massaging her temples without looking up from the contract. The letters blurred in front of her eyes by now. “What’s going on?”

“Mr. Queen is here for his appointment early,” Gerry answered.

Immediately Felicity looked up. She saw her assistant Gerry, a young guy in a suit that was unfortunately not his size and made him look almost lost in the too much fabric, standing at the door to her office. Through the glass wall she could see Oliver leaning against Gerry’s desk in front of her office. He had his arms crossed in front of his broad chest, watching her with a glint in his eyes that made her have butterflies in her stomach.

“He said he was around and thought-“

“Yes, that’s fine,” Felicity replied, closing the report she had been reading or rather not reading. “Mr. Queen wants to talk to me about the plans for the next party of the company. I am planning on meeting Verdant for that.”

Gerry frowned. “I know. You told me so at least three times when he has been here before.”

Felicity felt herself blushing, but she quickly smiled it away. “Right. Sorry. I am a little…” She shook her head and gestured at the papers. “Anyway, since Mr. Queen is early, I will just take my lunch break now already. You should take your lunch break a little earlier, too, Gerry.”

Gerry nodded. “Of course, Ms. Smoak.”

When he stepped out of her office and gestured for Oliver to get in, Felicity quickly got up and went to meet Oliver half way.

“Ms. Smoak,” he said with a smile on his lips that would definitely betray their cover if anyone but her would see it. “It’s very nice to see you again.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Felicity replied. She put her hand in the one Oliver held out for her and enjoyed the way his thumb rubbed over the back of her hand. She glanced through the glass wall, seeing Gerry gathering his belongings to head out for his lunch break. She quickly looked back at Oliver, shaking her head slightly. “How has your weekend been? I heard your partner was sick, and you needed to run the club on your own?”

“Yes,” Oliver replied, still holding her hand. “I have the slight suspicion he just said he was sick to get a night off, but who knows? The night was as successful as always. Verdant is doing better than ever.”

“I am glad to hear that,” Felicity replied. She saw Gerry walking towards the elevators and stepping out of her view. “Is your partner okay again?”

“Oh yes, he already apologized and said I could have the next weekend off,” Oliver replied.

Felicity didn’t miss the expression in his eyes. She felt herself blushing and quickly looked down on the floor to hide it. Oliver squeezed her fingers, making her look back up again, though. His eyes sparkled with amusement, but Felicity didn’t feel like he was making sport of her. She knew that he just enjoyed seeing her blush or biting down on the bottom lip, so Felicity decided to not disappoint him. She bit down on her bottom lip, smiling at him.

When the familiar  _ pling! _ of the elevator sounded, Felicity held her breath. She tried to hear what was happening outside her office, but everything was silent. Oliver lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. Then he let go of her hand and slowly walked backwards until he could lean out of the door and look towards the elevator.

“We’re alone,” Oliver stated.

With two large steps he was back in front of her. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her against his chest. Her feet lifted off the floor slightly when she put her arms around his neck. They smiled at each other for a long moment before their lips met in a kiss. It started slow and gentle, but it quickly grew more passionate. Oliver’s tongue slipped into her mouth, exploring it, and when the tip of his tongue moved against hers, Felicity moaned quietly.

In the last weeks she had almost grown addictive to kissing Oliver. She enjoyed his taste on her lips and in her mouth.

Only when Oliver sat her down at her desk and the need for air grew too much for her to hold on any longer, Felicity broke the kiss. She rested her forehead against Oliver’s, keeping her eyes closed. She pulled at the lapels of his jacket to pull him closer against her, so their chests were pressed against each other’s. Her hands moved from his neck to his shoulders and down his chest. When they were at the level of his stomach, Oliver gripped them and entwined her fingers with his.

She looked at him with her eyebrows perked up, and Oliver looked back at her with a pointed glare. He licked his lips, eliciting a low sound from her. Lately, Felicity had realized that they were both at the end of their patience about taking things slow. The sexual tension had increased a lot these last couple of days.

“Hey,” he said, pulling back a little to look at her.

“Hi,” Felicity replied, licking over her lips to savor his taste. “I missed you during the weekend.”

“I missed you, too,” Oliver said, smiling back at her. He kissed the tip of her nose before he added, “You need to stop telling your assistant why I am coming here in all bogus details.”

Felicity groaned, resting her forehead against Oliver’s chest. “I know. Somehow it just happens again and again.”

Oliver chuckled and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her head. “Don’t worry. You’ll get used to it. Just act like it is the most natural thing I am here, and I have every right to be. You don’t need to tell excuses until someone starts asking.”

“I know,” Felicity replied with a sigh. “I’ll get used to it eventually.”

She bent her head back to look at Oliver again. They both smiled at each other for a moment before their lips locked in another kiss. It was a rather chaste one, just the brushing of two pairs of lips against each others. Oliver nuzzled her nose, making Felicity chuckle against his lips quietly.

“Do you want to grab some food now?”

Felicity nodded. “Yes. Let me just replace the recordings of the office.”

“Sure,” Oliver replied.

While Felicity sat down at her desk, he leaned back against the edge of it next to her. She could feel his intense gaze on her skin while she was working her magic on the recordings, making sure their meeting here looked only professional. It was quite distracting, but she did her best to get through with it as quickly as possible. While the program was loading some interim result, Felicity moved her shoulders to get some tension off them. It didn’t go by unnoticed by Oliver.

“Backache?” he asked.

“Just feeling a little tense,” Felicity replied, putting her hands to her shoulders and massaging them. She shot Oliver a quick smile. “Working in an office can quite suck for neck and back.”

“Well, luckily, you have a boyfriend with magic hands,” Oliver replied.

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, taking in a deep breath. It was the first time Oliver had referred to himself as her boyfriend. She knew they had been something. All the dates, the kissing and the intimacy had pointed at what kind of relationship they had with each other, and yet hearing Oliver say that he was her boyfriend made her quite happy.

Oliver stepped behind her and started massaging her shoulders. He seemed to know exactly which of her muscles felt the sourest and tightest. He gently massaged the tight knots out of her shoulders and neck. His lips pressed to the crown of her head in the meantime.

“Just lean back and relax for a few minutes, Felicity,” he whispered.

Sighing, Felicity did as he had suggested. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, enjoying Oliver’s massage. When he leaned down to kiss her forehead, she hummed contently and smiled.

“I could get used to this.”

Oliver chuckled. “Same here.”

Half an hour later they were strolling through the park, eating the last of their hot dogs.

“You know, I am really thinking about booking Verdant. Bruce Wayne from Wayne Enterprise is coming here in two months to agree on a joint project with Smoak Technologies. I figured if I wanted to impress him, I need the right location for the party,” Felicity explained. “Verdant could be just the right place for that since it’s rather unconventional and hence something Bruce would like very much.”

Felicity pushed the last of her hot dog into her mouth and wiped her fingers clean with the paper napkin. She smiled when she saw that Oliver had a little ketchup on the right corner of his mouth. She quickly wiped it away with her thumb and wiped the sauce from her skin with the napkin. Oliver smiled at her for a long moment.

“Just tell me the exact date and what you expect from that evening, and Tommy and I will make some plans,” he replied then. “We put together a menu and order someone to take care of decorations if you need something specific.”

Felicity smiled. “Are you taking that good care of all of your clients, Mr. Queen?”

Oliver chuckled. “I do, but I have to admit that I do it with much more enthusiasm if I like the client.”

When Felicity turned her head to look at him once more, he winked at her. A quiet giggle escaped her lips, and it made her wonder if she had now completely turned into a teenager madly in love. Blushing, she lowered her gaze.

“Speaking of menus, are your friends coming to dinner this weekend?” Oliver asked.

Felicity nodded. “Yes, absolutely. They are already looking forward to it.”

“Good,” Oliver replied with a smile, “because so am I.”

“Yes, it’s going to be fun.”

It had been Oliver’s idea. He had suggested that now that they had been dating for quite some time and there was no end to their affair or whatever to call it in sight, it was time for their friends to meet. Hence, he had asked Felicity to invite John and Lyla over to the loft for dinner. Sara, Nyssa, Tommy, Laurel and Thea were going to be there, too.

“Do you think they will like each other?” Felicity asked.

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Let’s hope so, right?”

Felicity nodded. She was about to say something more when she felt a leaf falling into her hair. She lifted her hand to pull it out, but Oliver’s fingers were already there. His fingertips grazed the delicate skin of her neck. Felicity felt a warm shiver running down her back, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

Her body reacted to those little touches strongly already. Felicity had no idea what would happen when she and Oliver would finally take the next step in their relationship and spend a night with each other. She had thought it would happen last weekend, but then Tommy had fallen sick and it hadn’t. Anyway, she knew it wouldn’t be much longer. When they were alone, they could barely keep their hands off each other.

She bit down on her bottom lip, lowering her gaze to the floor once more. She felt heat rising into her cheeks as a blush spread on her face. Oliver brushed his fingers against the back of her hand. He linked his fingers with hers, holding her hand in a gentle grip.

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip even more firmly. She felt her heartbeat quickening and knew that it wasn’t just the fear of eventually getting caught that caused that. The warmth of Oliver’s slightly rough skin against her soft one did its part in it too. Oliver moved a little closer to her, hiding their linked fingers between them, so it wouldn’t be too obvious.

Slowly she lifted her gaze from their hands to Oliver’s face. He had his gaze directed in front of him, pretending like he didn’t notice her eyes on him. The gentle smile on his lips betrayed him, though. She knew that he knew exactly that she was looking at him. 

Felicity smiled at him. “Do you-“

When Felicity looked forward again and saw a police officer coming closer in the distance, she quickly let go of Oliver’s hand and pushed her own into the pocket of her coat. She could see Oliver’s smile fading from the corner of her eyes. He pressed his lips together, keeping his gaze directed in front of him.

They walked in quiet, neither of them saying a word while the police officer was coming closer. Felicity felt her heartbeat quickening the closer he got. Only when he passed them without even taking notice of them, she released the breath she had been holding. She closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“No reason to be,” Oliver assured her quietly.

Felicity nodded slowly, knowing that he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. Oliver had never blamed her for not being as reckless as he sometimes appeared to be. Instead, he had always showed his understanding.

“Sometimes I forget how complicated it all really is,” Felicity admitted. “Being with you is so great and makes me feel so comfortable, but when I think about what could happen…”

“Yeah,” Oliver whispered back. “I feel the same.”

They walked in silence a little longer until Felicity shot a glance at her watch. She sucked in a breath and released it with a sigh.

“You need to go back?” Oliver asked.

Felicity nodded, sighing once more. “Yes.”

“Do you want to be alone for the rest of your break?”

Felicity smiled, shaking her head. “Nope, absolutely not.”

Oliver smiled back at her. “Good. Then let’s go.”

 

 

“She is really sweet,” Laurel said, looking at the photo on Lyla’s phone. “How old did you say she is again?”

“Two years,” Lyla replied. “She finally starts talking now. She was so lazy with it before. I am sure she got that from her daddy.”

“Hey, don’t blame it on me,” John said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, that is what you get from being married, isn’t it?” Tommy asked.

Tommy and John clicked their bottles of beers with one another, while Laurel and Lyla rolled their eyes at them.

“I guess I am going to get the dessert before two marriage crises start here,” Oliver mumbled. It was enough for the two couples to hear, though. They smiled at their partners, assuring each other that it had all been just teasing. Oliver meanwhile got up from his chair, whispering into Felicity’s ear, “Want to join me in the kitchen?”

“Absolutely,” Felicity replied and followed him towards the kitchen area.

“It’s going well, isn’t it?” Oliver asked, pushing the empty dishes with the entrée away to the back of the kitchen counter.

Felicity looked at their friends. Lyla, John, Laurel and Tommy were still talking about Baby Andria. Sara, Nyssa and Thea were meanwhile chatting about something else. They all seemed to have fun.

“Yes, I think so,” Felicity replied with a smile, not taking her eyes off their friends.

She didn’t know why she had thought that maybe this dinner would be awkward. Maybe it had been because Lyla and Nyssa had both had their reservations when Oliver and Felicity had decided to go on a date. Eventually all they wanted were for their friends to be happy, though, so it hadn’t taken that long until they had fully accepted and supported their… whatever they had.

“Are you going to stay here when they have all left or do you need to work again tomorrow?” Oliver asked, stepping behind Felicity and putting his arms around her waist.

When he snuggled his cheek against hers, his short stubble scratching her soft skin, Felicity closed her eyes and leaned back against him. She lifted her hand to the other side of his face, touching his cheek gently.

“I worked through everything I wanted to work through until Monday,” Felicity explained, “so I actually have the weekend off.”

Oliver hummed, kissing the soft skin right under her ear. “I guess you are going to stay here tonight then?”

Felicity loosened herself from his hug and turned in his arms. She put her arms around his neck and smiled. “I don’t have pajamas here.”

“Shocking,” Oliver replied in a whisper. “Well, maybe if I am nice, I will give you something to wear.”

Felicity puckered up her lips. “And what if I didn’t want you to be nice?”

There was a glint in Oliver’s eyes that told her that he had thought about the same things. During the last days, taking this next step had been an unspoken thought between them. They both knew it was coming though they hadn’t talked about it. There was no need to talk about this. They could see the truth in each other’s eyes.

“Well, we will find a solution to that too,” Oliver replied.

He leaned down and kissed her gently. Felicity pressed herself a little closer to him, stroking her hand over the back of his head. She wished she could deepen the kiss, but knowing their friends were only a few feet away, she was sure that wasn’t the best idea.

When their lips parted, Felicity patted his chest gently and took a step back. She turned to the kitchen counter where Oliver had put the chocolate lava cakes while she had been busy watching their friends.

“I suggest you put them on the plates, and I’ll serve them,” Felicity explained.

Oliver perked up an eyebrow. “Are you trying to save yourself a job as a waitress at Verdant?”

Felicity chuckled. “You can never have enough options, right?”

“Probably,” Oliver agreed, “but I think you’d get bored quickly if you worked there.”

“Hey, I am full of surprises.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Oliver replied, handing her the first two plates and winking at her.

Once they all had their plates, Oliver and Felicity sat back down and started eating too. Oliver’s left hand rested low on her thigh while they were eating, warming her skin through the thin material of her dress. Felicity shot him a smile every once and them. When his hand slowly moved up her thigh, she mouthed for him to behave. They had guests after all. Slowly his hand lowered a little more to her knee again.

“Good guy,” Felicity whispered, winking at him.

When she lifted her gaze, she caught Thea’s eyes on her and immediately felt herself blushing. She pressed her lips together, looking away. She didn’t miss the amused smile on Thea’s lips, though.

“You know, it is kind of weird that I am sitting at a table with four happily together couples,” Thea said out loud.

Sara put a hand to her shoulder. “You will find someone too. Just give it time. College is-“

“Oh, no I didn’t mean it like that,” Thea interrupted her friend, shaking her head. “I was actually wondering how the statistics are for that.”

When everyone’s heads turned towards her, Felicity frowned. “Hey, why is everyone looking at me?”

“Well, I guess if there is anyone knowing such statistics, it’s you,” John replied.

Everyone chuckled, while Felicity only shrugged her shoulders. “I guess according to the government everyone who is married is happy with their partner, while everyone not married is just impatiently waiting to be told who their big jackpot is.”

“Yeah, like that was true,” Nyssa mumbled to herself, rolling her eyes.

“Well, let’s just hope Felicity won’t have to get married to someone who would stand in the way of this,” Thea said. When the chuckles and laughter died abruptly, she added quickly, “I mean that would be terrible, right? And-“

“What happened to the guy you got to know in your English class?” Sara interrupted Thea, nonchalantly changing the subject.

Thea only glanced at her brother shortly before she answered. Felicity couldn’t hear any of what she was saying, though. Her stomach was cramping badly, her thoughts revolving all around Thea’s words. Of course Felicity knew that this day might come. She had been thinking about that a lot in the first days of dating Oliver. Lately she had pushed that thought more and more away, though. She was already thinking about what would happen if they got caught, so adding another fear into her thoughts would only make her go insane.

Felicity glanced at Oliver, seeing him staring at his plate. She moved her hand to rest over his on her knee, squeezing his fingers. Immediately, Oliver turned his head and smiled at her sadly. They both took in a deep breath at the same time, wordlessly reassuring each other and themselves that there was no reason to worry yet.

 

 

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, quietly watching Oliver. He was sitting at the edge of the bed and was staring down at his hands in his lap. Since Thea’s comment during dessert, he had barely said anything more. They had eaten the rest of their cakes, chatted some more with their families and friends and then quickly cleaned up the kitchen once they had been alone. All the while Oliver had barely said a word and left the talking up to her which had ended in an awkwardly babbling monologue that hadn’t even made him smile once.

She put her earrings away onto the small dresser, slipped out of her shoes and slowly walked to Oliver. She sat down on the bed next to him, never taking her eyes off him. Oliver kept his eyes down, though.

“Would you rather be alone tonight?“ Felicity asked. When Oliver lifted his gaze, she quickly added, “I would understand if-“

“No,” Oliver said firmly, taking on of her hands to kiss the knuckles. He then pressed the back of her hand against his chest. She could feel his strong heartbeat. “I want you to stay here. I’m just… I’m sorry for being so off. It’s-“

“It’s alright,” Felicity assured him quickly. “What Thea said…”

“We know it will happen eventually,” Oliver stated. “You will have to get married eventually. If we’re lucky, the guy will accept this. If we’re not-“

“I know,” Felicity replied in a whisper. “I know.”

“I don’t like to admit it, but the thought scares me,” Oliver explained, squeezing her fingers. “I like what we have. I like you. I mean… I really, really like you.”

Smiling, Felicity moved to straddle his lap. She put her hands to his cheeks and kissed him gently. It only lasted a few seconds. When their lips pulled apart, Oliver put his hands to her hips and looked at her intensively.

“I really, really like you too,” Felicity responded with a smile. “And I want to stop being that scared of the future. I want to live in the here and now, and that means I want to enjoy every second that I get to spend with you.”

“I want to enjoy the time we have too,” Oliver replied, a small smile playing on her lips. “I really like being with you.”

“Yeah, same here,” Felicity whispered.

She stroked her hand over Oliver’s short hair. When her lips met his, she slid even closer to him, pressing herself against his warm chest. She ducked her head, bending his head back, so she could deepen the kiss. Oliver moaned quietly in response, circling her waist with his strong arms. Slowly Felicity lowered her hands from his cheeks over his jaw and neck to his shoulders. She started unbuttoning his shirt and explored the revealed skin with her fingertips.

Felicity couldn’t count how many times she had actually imagined having sex with Oliver. He was a good kisser, great even, and his touches set her skin on fire as it was. The thought of how much more intensely her body would react to him when they would have sex, had come naturally.

When she was about to push his shirt down his shoulders, Oliver grabbed her wrists, keeping her from doing so. Felicity frowned at the sudden stop, looking at Oliver’s face intently.

“What? Not in the mood?”

“No, it’s not that,” Oliver replied with a low chuckle. “It’s quite the opposite actually.”

“Then why are we stopping?” Felicity asked.

“During my time on the island,” Oliver began to answer, looking at her intently, “I was tortured.”

Felicity nodded, not saying a word. Oliver had told her about it. She knew about it already. She just didn’t know why exactly he was bringing this up now.

“That left marks on my body,” Oliver added slowly. “According to a doctor I had… I don’t know… maybe twelve fractures that never properly healed. Around twenty percent of my body is covered with scars. I just want you to be prepared.”

Oliver looked almost shy saying that. Felicity wondered if he had told that to all the women he had intended on sleeping with. Or had he made bad experiences with it once and decided to tell people after that? Had a woman rejected him because his strong, muscular body showed marks of torture? Felicity didn’t know, and for now it didn’t matter because for her it wouldn’t change anything.

Felicity’s eyes never left Oliver’s face while she was slowly pushing his dress shirt off his shoulders and threw it somewhere in the room behind her. She put her hands to his shoulders and kissed Oliver slowly. Their lips moved in perfect synch. She made sure that the kiss was reassuring him of how much she still wanted him. When Felicity pulled back again, their eyes locked once more. Oliver seemed to instantly understand the question her eyes tried to ask. He gave her a short nod and Felicity smiled in response. She pecked his lips once more before she lowered her gaze to his chest.

“Wow,” it escaped Felicity’s lips before she could stop herself.

She felt some tension leaving Oliver’s body, his shoulders slouching slightly. “It’s okay if-“

“No,” Felicity replied quickly. “No, no, no. This was no wow-what-the-hell-I-am-supposed-to-do-with-that-wow although now that I think about it, it actually was. It wasn’t meant in the way you might think it was meant, though. I meant it in the way that I have no idea what the hell to do with that body because have you ever seen your body before? Okay, don’t answer that. I am sure you did because I guess you take showers occasionally. You probably take showers even more than occasionally because you are working out a lot and people shower after. Not that I would know because I am not working out at least not on a regular basis. I kind of start once a year, but I always give up because there are just so much nicer things to do like watching TV or eating cake or… Oh, great, now you’re laughing at me. I guess my babbling ruined the mood then and-“

Oliver straightened up as far as necessary to lock lips with her. He was still chuckling against her lips, making the kiss slightly sloppy. Circling her waist with his arms once more, he rolled them over in one quick movement, so he was hovering over her. He stayed propped up onto his forearms. His lower half pressed perfectly against hers, allowing her to feel the outline of his slightly erect cock. Felicity wrapped her legs around his lazily.

“What I was trying to say,” Felicity said with husky voice, once their lips parted, “is that your scars were not the reason for my ‘wow’. It was more these abs and the rest of that body. I don’t mind the scars. They are a part of you and… well… maybe one day you want to share the stories behind them, but there is no rush. I won’t ask for it. You can tell me when you’re ready.”

Oliver looked at her for a long moment, not saying a word. Felicity meanwhile stroked her hands up and down his chest, enjoying the feeling of his scarred skin beneath her fingertips. When Felicity put her arms around Oliver’s neck and pulled him down onto her, his hips started rubbing against her core.

“God,” Felicity moaned in response, moving against him to get more friction.

“You’re still in for this, right?” Oliver asked, already pushing the hem of her dress up her body. His hand moved over her naked skin as he did so.

“Absolutely,” Felicity replied against his lips, lightly scratching her fingernails down his back.

Oliver groaned in response. It made his body vibrate over hers, and Felicity moaned. She locked her legs higher around him, moving against him more quickly. She arched her back, giving him the chance to move her dress higher. His naked chest pressed against her naked stomach, and they both moaned at the touch.

“You feel so good,” Oliver whispered.

He moved his lips from hers to the side of her neck, sucking at her pulse point. Felicity dropped her head back into the pillows and arched her back, trying to get more contact. Oliver’s lips on her skin set her body on fire. Every inch of her body was aching with the need to feel more of his skin against hers and to feel him inside of her. He had grown fully hard in his pants by now, increasing Felicity’s delicious anticipation.

When Oliver’s lips moved down to her stomach, she quickly sat up and pulled her dress over her head, leaving her in a set of dark lace underwear. Oliver licked her belly button which caused her to release a mix of a giggle and a moan. Oliver chuckled and rested his chin on her lower stomach, looking up at her with a smile. Felicity felt a content fluttering in her stomach and instinctively Felicity smiled back at him.

The smug expression faded from Oliver’s face. Not taking his eyes off her, Oliver moved back up her body. His lips stayed on her skin the entire time moving from her stomach and between her breasts back to her mouth. Their lips met in a long, slow kiss full of passion.

Felicity knew she was already wet and given Oliver’s quicker-growing movements, she doubted that he was going to last long either. If it was up to Felicity, they could easily skip foreplay and move right over to the main course. Dating him and getting to know him over the last five weeks had been enough of a foreplay already. Besides, after the emotional undressing during their first date, it was really time for them to move to what was coming after the undressing.

When Oliver chuckled against her lips, Felicity opened her eyes. “Did I say that out loud?”

Oliver pulled far enough away to look at her, nodding his head. “Yes, you did.”

“Oops,” Felicity said, feeling a blush spreading on her face. “I’m just-“

“Hey, I am up to whatever you wish,” Oliver replied smugly. “I thought we wanted to take things slow, though, so-“

“Well, we took things slow,” Felicity replied, “for five long weeks.”

She moved her hips against Oliver’s, rubbing his hard cock against her clit, leaving no doubt about what she wanted. And Oliver stayed true to his promise to go with whatever she wanted. He sat back on his heels and unfastened his belt. Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, watching him for a moment. Then she quickly sat up and helped him. She unbuttoned his pants and moved her hand into his pants without any hesitation.

“Fuck, Felicity,” Oliver choked out when she took firm hold of his erection. He thrust into her hand, moaning.

Felicity kneeled up and peppered kisses along his jaw, moving her lips to his ear. “You’re not wearing any underwear.”

“I might have a feeling that we would want to move this along quickly,” Oliver replied with hoarse voice.

“Hm, maybe I just found a way to have fun otherwise,” Felicity replied, grinning smugly, and squeezed his hard length in her hand.

Oliver released a moan and quickly pushed her hand away. He moved out of the bed, and Felicity made a pouting face, but it soon disappeared when Oliver slipped out of his pants. Her mouth watered at the sight of him being completely naked, his erection springing free. His body had the build of a young god. Every muscle was well-defined.

“You’re done staring?” Oliver asked, cocking his head.

Felicity smiled, making a come-here-gesture with her index finger. Oliver complied, crawling onto the bed until he was kneeling right in front of her. Felicity put her hands to his shoulders and slowly moved them down his body, touching whatever skin she could. Oliver meanwhile unclasped her bra and took it off, and Felicity’s fingers fell off Oliver’s skin in the process.

They were kneeling in front of each other completely naked, not talking and not touching. Their eyes took in each other’s body. Felicity felt like it should be awkward maybe, but it wasn’t like that, absolutely not. It felt right and familiar in the most intimate way. Felicity felt goosebumps eliciting where his eyes took in her body, and she felt no desire to hide her most private parts.

Oliver and Felicity moved at the same time, their lips meeting halfway. The kiss was passionate, yet slow and full of something Felicity couldn’t exactly put into words. It was more than tenderness, but… but she just didn’t know what to call it. Oliver circled her waist and pulled her against him, then slowly lay her down on the mattress. He lowered his own body onto hers.

Felicity moaned. Oliver’s body was hot and hard against hers. Her hard nipples were pressed against his chest. His erection slid between her already wet folds perfectly, and Felicity arched her back in response. Oliver’s right hand gripped her left hand tightly, wordlessly telling her that he was just as affected by that as she was.

She felt her lungs burning for air, but she refused to break the kiss. The feeling of their lips and tongue moving in synch was too perfect for her to let go of it. She wanted to keep kissing him for so much longer. The feeling of his body moving over hers and his erection bumping against her clit, increased her pleasure so quickly, though, that she had no choice but to turn her head.

“Condom. Now.”

Oliver didn’t need to be asked twice. He rolled off of her to sit on the edge of the mattress. Felicity tried to catch her breath, but the sight of Oliver ripping open the foil package and rolling the condom onto his erection was only taking her breath away once more. She licked her lips, feeling every cell of her body tingling with excitement and anticipation.

When Oliver climbed back into bed, Felicity literally welcomed him with her arms wide open. She put her arms around his neck to pull him down onto her and their lips met in a gentle kiss that showed no hurry. Oliver’s cock pressed against her lower stomach, and Felicity moaned in response. She moved her hands over Oliver’s back, lightly scratching her nails over his skin.

“Felicity,” Oliver whispered her name when he moved his lips down her neck to her pulse point. He flicked his tongue against it desperately.

“Yes,” Felicity replied to the question he hadn’t been asking out loud.

Oliver’s lips let go of the side of her neck, and he locked eyes with her instead. His right hand squeezed her fingers while his left took hold of his cock. Felicity moaned when he felt the tip of it moving from her clit to her entrance, and she had to fight the urge to close her eyes and look away because of the pleasure. She managed to keep her eyes locked on Oliver’s, though.

When he entered her in one slow thrust, Felicity moaned. She arched her back to make him slide even deeper into her. Her grasp on his hand tightened. Once Oliver was completely in her, he leaned down and locked her lips with his. Felicity opened her mouth to him, their tongues meeting in a slow dance.

Not breaking the kiss, Oliver started thrusting. He settled for a firm, slow rhythm that was just enough to keep increasing Felicity’s pleasure, even if only slowly. She arched her back and moved against him slowly. Their lips stayed locked with each other’s.

In this moment there was no fear of the future and no knowing that they would eventually have to break up when the reality would hit them hard. Instead, in this moment there was only them, two lovers who were spending their first night together.

When Oliver’s thrusts sped up and he thrusted into her harder, Felicity felt her pleasure increase quickly. She moaned into Oliver’s mouth and dug her fingers deep into his shoulders.

“Oliver,” she whispered against his lips, telling him how close she was.

She felt her body tensing already, being right on the edge. Oliver broke the kiss to lock eyes with her instead. With the next thrust Felicity felt her toes started to tingle, the second one made the pleasure spread in her body, reaching every cell. She released a low cry, her heels digging into the mattress to press her body closer to his. Oliver needed only one thrust more. He stiffened with a groan. His hand tightened around hers while his cock jerked inside of her.

Their eyes stayed locked the entire time. Neither of them wanted to break the connection, so they kept looking at each other while their pleasure was slowly ceasing and they tried to catch their breaths. Felicity’s lips were burning with the urge to kiss Oliver, but she didn’t want to lose the connection their eyes had made.

It wasn’t until their breathing had gone back to normal that Felicity lifted her head from the pillow, meeting Oliver’s halfway. They kissed almost fiercely, pouring all the emotions into the kiss.

Though Felicity had felt some sexual desire during their first date already, she was almost glad that they had waited this long. She doubted that her first time with Oliver had been this great if it wasn’t for the emotional foundation they had built in the last weeks. It would have been good, but maybe not as amazing as this had been.

When their lips parted, Oliver dropped his weight on top of Felicity completely, making her chuckle. His head rested on her chest, his breath ghosting over her skin. He pressed a kiss to her heart and Felicity cradled his head to her chest, stroking her fingertips through his short hair.

“This was amazing,” Oliver stated.

Felicity chuckled slightly. “Yes, absolutely.”

He squeezed her hand while his other hand was slowly moving over the side of her body. Felicity felt goosebumps following his touch, and if Oliver’s smile against her left breast was any indication, he could feel it too.

“Next time we will take more time, okay?” he asked, kissing the top of her breast once more.

“Well, we have all day tomorrow,” Felicity answered.

“I like that,” Oliver replied with a smile.

He pecked her lips before he excused himself to the bathroom to clean himself. He came back with a washcloth to gently wipe Felicity’s legs clean. He easily threw the washcloth over into the bathroom en suite and crawled back to bed. He encased Felicity in his arms, and she snuggled up to his warm body as close as possible. She used his bicep as a pillow and kissed his shoulder before she closed her eyes.

“Good night, Oliver.”

“Night, Felicity.”


	6. Crazy in love

Felicity sat down on the edge of her suitcase and was already reaching into her purse to call Oliver when she realized that she was sitting right across a wall with a dozen TV screens. Ray Palmer’s face was staring down at her with a somewhat creepy smile that seemed to crawl right under her skin. She actually felt goosebumps spreading on her forearms. She quickly took her suitcase and rolled it over to the wide windows, sitting back down at the edge of her suitcase there and watching the planes take off and land.

“Much better than Palmer’s face,” Felicity mumbled to herself as quietly as possible. She had barely heard herself over the noises surrounding her. Yet, she shot a quick look around to make sure nobody had heard her. She took in a deep breath and rolled her eyes at herself. “Pull yourself together.”

One should think that four months of secretly dating a married man should teach you how to not freak out about a slip like that. Saying something against one of the high-ranking politicians in the party could cost a few thousand dollars, maybe a day or two in arrest. Having a relationship with a married guy could either force you to spend the rest of your life in prison or cost you your life. Yet, she wasn’t half as nervous when spending the night in Oliver’s bed. She actually slept quite soundly in his arms.

Smiling, she pulled her phone out of her purse and picked Oliver’s number from her last called contacts. During the call setup, Felicity shot a look at her watch. Verdant hadn’t opened yet, but she knew that Oliver was already at the club to take care of the last preparations before the club would be opened. The dial tone sounded only once before he took the call.

“Hello?”

“Starling City got me back.”

Oliver chuckled. “That’s good. Now I need you back here with me and it’s perfect.”

Felicity smiled, shooting a look at her watch. “I already called my driver and got my suitcase. I will head to the exit now and should be home in half an hour.”

“I need at least two hours here before I can make myself scarce here. By then, the party should be going and-“

“Hey, if that’s Felicity, I’d suggest you drop everything and leave now!” Felicity heard Tommy whisper from Oliver’s end of the line. “You have been unbearable since she left.”

“I’ve not been unbearable,” Oliver mumbled back.

Felicity chuckled. “Unbearable, hm?”

“He’s exaggerating,” Oliver replied, the tone of his voice giving away that he was probably giving his friend a certain look. “I have just been a little…”

Oliver stopped, trying to find the right words. Felicity perked up her eyebrows, waiting expectantly with a wide smile on her lips. She was more than relieved that she had installed some security apps on both of their phones to make it almost impossible to hack them. She wouldn’t have gotten through this last week in Gotham City if it hadn’t been for the long phone calls and sexy little text messages she and Oliver had shared. It was weird, but after the last four months it felt impossible to remember how life had been without him.

“I just missed you,” Oliver admitted with a sigh. “I really, really missed you.”

Felicity’s smile widened. “I missed you, too.”

Suddenly Felicity remembered why it was so much easier to have an illegal relationship with Oliver than it was to mumble some true words about Ray Palmer. Everything was just easier when Oliver was around, and everything felt safer with him. Something about Oliver, probably his own usual calmness with the situation, made her feel better about it. She enjoyed being with him. It felt good.

“You know, last night I had this dream of how I would pick you up from the airport and you would come running into my arms in slow-motion and I would scoot you up into my arms and-“

“Now I feel guilty for leaving you alone with Tommy when you have been like that the entire time,” Felicity interrupted him, shaking her head with a chuckle.

“Trust me, you have nothing to feel guilty for,” Oliver told her. “Besides, if I hadn’t whined about how much I missed you for the past six days, I am sure Tommy wouldn’t have given away his free evening so easily.”

“Oh, so it’s all tactic.”

“Of course, it was,” Oliver replied with a chuckle, then added, “at least partly.”

Felicity smiled. She knew he had missed her because she had honestly missed him, too. She knew that should scare her because in a world like this there was just no happy ending for a couple like them, at least not in the way it was in the fairytales. If they were lucky, they could spend the rest of their life secretly dating. If they weren’t, even that would be taken away from them soon or later.

A quiet sigh escaped Felicity at that thought.

“Hey, everything alright?” Oliver asked.

“Yes,” Felicity hurried to say, biting down on her bottom lip and trying to sound as cheerful and possible when she added, “You know me. I get lost in my thoughts every now and then.”

Felicity was sure that Oliver could hear right through the lie, but she didn’t say anything more. They had promised themselves to enjoy every second of what they had while it lasted. There was no good in worrying about the future as long as it hadn’t come. It would only overshadow the time they had.

“I am going to wait for you at your home, okay?” Oliver asked after a moment of hesitation.

“Sounds great,” Felicity replied with a relieved smile and sighed once more. “I can’t wait to get home and finally sleep in my own bed again.”

Oliver chuckled. “In that case, I know exactly where I will wait.”

“I love sleeping naked by the way,” Felicity added.

“Well, that definitely gives me a hint of the dress code for tonight.”

“Oh, yes,” Felicity replied, smiling to herself. “See you later.”

“Can’t wait.”

“Me, neither.” Felicity already got up and was about to hang up when-

“Hey, how did that last meeting with Bruce Enterprise go today anyway?”

“Great,” Felicity replied, taking her suitcase and heading towards the exit. “He repeated once again how much he loved his last visit in Starling, especially because of the great club by the way.”

“Who cares about the club right now? What about your joint project? What did he say about the adjustments you suggested?” Oliver asked.

Felicity smiled. She knew that Oliver barely understood anything of what she told him about her work. Yet, he always asked and always listen closely. He caught up on her excitement and felt it infecting him. It was one of the many things she lo- really, really liked about him.

“Yes,” Felicity answered, shaking off the thought that had just crossed her mind. “He loved the ideas I shared with him and said he’d gladly invest more money since the new direction of the project promises a much larger outcome.”

“That’s great, Felicity. I am so happy for you.”

“Thanks.” Felicity smiled to herself. “It really eases off quite the burden from my shoulders.”

“I know,” Oliver replied and she could hear the smile in his voice. “Okay, I have to hang up now so I can go to your place. Should I get us some takeout on the way?”

“I ate something in the plane. It was horrible because I am so spoiled with all your homemade food, but it did satisfy my appetite.”

“Well, I hope it didn’t satisfy all your appetite.”

Felicity smiled and licked her lips. His words made goosebumps spread all over her skin, leaving a slight prickle in her core. She bit down on her tongue to suppress a strangled moan. Her body had memorized the feeling of having sex with Oliver in so many details by now that just hearing him alluding to sex like that set her nerve endings on fire.

“Don’t worry,” she told him. “There’s definitely a lot of that appetite that build up inside of me these last days.”

“Well, I am going to be happy to help with that.”

Felicity chuckled. “In that case I rather hang up now, so I can have dessert when I am back home.”

“Consider me already there waiting for you.”

“I will,” Felicity replied. “See you later.”

“See you later.”

Felicity hung up, smiling to herself. Her life had become so much better since she had met Oliver. She was happier since he had stepped into her life and she had decided to do her best to let go of her worries and try taking her life into her own hands. Oliver really made her happy.

She thought back to the words that had threatened to form in her thoughts and caught her bottom lip between her front teeth in response. A part of her felt like she should be worried about that word. Saying you loved someone was quite the thing and given her and Oliver’s situation it was destined to end in heartbreak. She knew it was true, though. She had fallen hard for him from the beginning. They had decided to slow things down to really get to know each other, so they had taken their time and gotten to know each other. That process had only made her feel more and more for him up onto the point that she felt she had crossed every line she had set for herself in life.

She loved Oliver.

The thought made her heart skip a beat. She had thought it a few times already, but she hadn’t told Oliver yet. She hadn’t been ready and she wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear it, either. Oliver was great. He was the best boyfriend you could wish for and far from being commitment phobic. They had decided to take things slow, though, and Felicity wasn’t sure how slow exactly that was.

She felt tempted to tell Oliver. She had thought a couple of times already that he wanted to say the same to her, but that he had stopped himself. Given that she had run away after their first date she couldn’t really blame him for hesitating, especially since she wasn’t exactly sure about whether to tell him either.

Maybe she should tell him tonight. After the long week away, she was even surer about her feelings. She was a little bit afraid about how much she cared, but compared to how scared she had been at the beginning of her relationship with Oliver she was quite calm actually. Like a few weeks ago, she would have probably-

Felicity’s thoughts came to a sudden stop when she bumped into something or rather someone she realized when she looked up and was faced with a broad chest. Movements around caught her attention and Felicity gasped for breath, letting her suitcase fall to the floor at the sight of the three guns that were pointed at her. She could hear the clicking of the safety catches over the rushing of blood in her ear and felt her heart beating right up into her throat.

“Guns down,” a voice demanded. “Now.”

Despite the guns being put on safety and lowered, her heart was still racing in her chest. It pounded against her ribs painfully, almost feeling like it wanted to crack the bones. Her legs were shaking, her whole body in shock mode it seemed.

“Ms. Smoak, I am so sorry,” the voice from before much calmer and warmer now. “My bodyguards are extremely oversensitive these days. Are you okay?”

Felicity flinched when she felt a hand being put to her shoulder and quickly sought out the eyes of the man talking to her. She felt the last of color fading from her face when she found Ray Palmer’s face only a couple of inches away from her. She would probably think that he was quite handsome if it wasn’t for the fact that he was probably going to be the next and yet youngest presidential candidate for the governing party.

“Are you okay?” Mr. Palmer asked once more.

Felicity forced a smile onto her lips. Her body was close to trembling, but she did her best to hide it. She swallowed quickly, nodding her head.

“Yes, I am fine,” she answered, stroking her hand through her hair and making Mr. Palmer’s hand fall from her shoulder in the process. “I am sorry for running into you. I was distracted.”

Mr. Palmer smiled at her. She knew it was supposed to look friendly, but when you worked for an organization that forced into loveless marriages, tortured and killed people who fought for honest democracy and didn’t see anything wrong with what you were doing, everything you did looked creepy. She swallowed once more.

“Do you have someone to drive you home, Ms. Smoak?”

“How do you know my name?” Felicity asked back immediately.

Mr. Palmer’s smile widened even more. “I am very interested in technology and kept an eye on your company.”

“Oh,” Felicity made.

She couldn’t really say what it was, but something told her that this wasn’t the full truth. The way he looked at her with a knowing smile like he had a secret he didn’t want to share with her, gave it away. He looked at her like he had seen her naked and she didn’t know. The thought made Felicity’s heckle rise nervously.

“So, do you have someone to drive you home?” Mr. Palmer repeated.

“Yes,” Felicity hurried to say. “My driver is waiting. Thank you.”

“Well, it was nice to finally meet you in person, Ms. Smoak,” Mr. Palmer said, holding out his hand for her.

Hesitatingly, Felicity put her hand into his and shook his hand. “It was nice to meet you too.”

She quickly pulled back her hand, took her suitcase and turned around. She had to force herself to just walk hurriedly instead of running as fast as she could. She still felt goosebumps all over her body. Felicity couldn’t say what exactly it had been, if it had been about the creepiness of meeting a high-ranking politician, about the fact that she was betraying the legal system by dating Oliver or about Mr. Palmer knowing her name. Either way, something about the meeting had left a really bad taste in her mouth and she wasn’t sure she would get rid of it easily.

 

 

Felicity was still rummaging around in her purse, trying to find her keys, when the door suddenly opened from the inside. A hand wrapped around her wrist and she just got to grab her suitcase to pull it into her townhouse behind her before a familiar, broad body pressed to her front and pushed her back against the door until it clicked shut behind her. There was barely time to take in a breath before Oliver’s lips were already on hers.

Releasing a low moan, Felicity framed his face with her hands and stroked her fingertips through this short stubble. Oliver stroked his tongue against hers, his taste invading her mouth. Felicity’s fingers moved into his hair, clawing around some strands. Oliver pushed closer to her, his body getting so close that Felicity could barely breathe, but she couldn’t care less. She moved her legs up and down until her dress finally rid up high enough on her thighs for her to wrap her legs around Oliver’s hips.

It was crazy, but one week without him had left her crazy with need to feel him pressed against her and moving inside of her again. She had no idea how Oliver did that, but seeing him or kissing him or touching him always left her wanting more. Hearing his hoarse voice over the phone had been enough to bless her with vivid dreams of what her night would look like if she hadn’t been on the other side of the country.

Slowly Felicity moved her hands down from the back of his neck and over his shoulders and chest to the waistband of his jeans. She grabbed his shirt and tugged it up his body. Oliver pressed his hips against hers, trying to keep her against the door, so he could lift his arms and allow her to take off his shirt. The movement of his hips against hers elicited a wonderful friction that didn’t go unnoticed by either of them, though. Moaning, they started thrusting against each other, heightening their arousal. Felicity could feel Oliver harden in his pants, the friction growing more delicious until Felicity had to part her lips from his to gasp for breath.

Her lungs were burnings with the need for air, but her quickly increasing pleasure only allowed her to take in shallow breaths. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting her head drop back against the door and enjoying the sensations that appealed to her. Oliver’s erection pressed against her core, the zipper of his jeans making the friction all the more delicious. His hands grabbed her thighs firmly, keeping her against the wall and holding her legs open for him. His chest pressed to hers. His lips sucked at the side of her neck while his tongue was caressing the soft skin there. His stubbled scratched her in the way she loved so much.

When Oliver thrust up against her particularly firmly, Felicity gasped for breath. Her legs tightened around him, holding him in a firm grip.

“Bed,” she demanded, clawing her fingers back into his hair and scratching her fingers over his scalp. Oliver growled against her neck, the sound vibrating against her skin. “Now.”

Oliver didn’t have to be told twice. He adjusted her position against him before he stepped away from the wall and started walking them to her bedroom. In the meantime, his lips moved back up her neck to her lips. Their tongues met in a passionate dance. Unable to hold back from touching him any longer, she moved her hand under his shirt and stroked over his well-defined abs. Oliver took that as encouragement and let his right hand slide from the middle of her thigh to her butt, squeezing gently. Felicity chuckled against his lips in response.

When Oliver sat down at the edge of the bed, Felicity moved closer to him immediately. She grabbed his shirt and took it off of him. While her hands explored his naked chest, Oliver lowered the zipper at the back of her dress. He pushed the fabric down her shoulders until it pooled around her hips.

Their lips met in another hungry kiss as Oliver stood back up with Felicity in his arms. The dress fell to the floor before Oliver set Felicity back on the bed, standing in front of her. Quickly Felicity kneeled on the bed and stroked her fingertips through his hair, never breaking the kiss. In the meantime, Oliver unbuckled his belt and slid off his jeans and boxer briefs in one go.

“Felicity,” Oliver growled when she wrapped her hand around his shaft and moved her fingers up and down with slow movements.

Only now Felicity realized that neither of them had said a word since the second she had stepped into her house. While she couldn’t care less since she appreciated his lips against hers or whatever other part of her body, it suddenly hit her how much she had missed hearing his voice like that. As soon as the thought popped into her mind, as quickly it faded away again when Oliver’s lips claimed hers in another searing kiss.

While Felicity continued to stroke his erection, Oliver unclasped her bra and threw it away carelessly. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he bent her back and captured her right nipple between his front teeth. Felicity gasped, her head falling back and her eyes squeezing shut. Oliver tongue flicked over the sensitive nub, eliciting a strangled moan from Felicity.

Slowly, his muscular chest moved closer to her and he lay her back down on the mattress, climbing on top of her without hesitation. His warm body covered her, her hand falling off his length. Felicity scratched her short fingernails over his back and Oliver growled against her nipple, the vibration running all through her body.

“Oliver,” she whispered.

Immediately, Oliver lifted his head from her breast and looked at her. His deep blue eyes seemed to crawl right under her skin, eliciting goosebumps all over her body. Both of them were breathing heavily, neither of them speaking as they just looked into each other’s eyes. Oliver was still propped up onto his forearms. His fingertips stroked over her cheek gently.

Felicity felt warmth and contentment spreading in her chest. She loved those quiet moments when she and Oliver just looked into each other’s eyes, saying a thousand words without speaking. She loved it even more when they had these moments in the middle of foreplay. It was like all of a sudden, their feelings and the deep connection they shared broke through the passion and lust and just took over. It reminded her once more that they had so much more than some shallow thing.

Felicity could almost feel the words she had held back for the past weeks threatening to spill from her lips when Oliver started rubbing his erection against her clothed center. Her back arched, a low moan falling from his lips. Oliver used the opportunity and stroked her tongue into her mouth once more.

His fingers hooked into her panties and pulled the fabric down her legs. Felicity wiggled her hips, tugging the panties down the rest of the way with her toes. She kicked them away carelessly, waiting no second to wrap her legs around Oliver’s hips and welcome him against her. Both of them moaned into each other’s mouth when his hard cock pressed to her wet folds.

They had stopped using condoms a couple of weeks ago. Felicity was on the pill and they trusted each other. Oliver had even gotten himself tested to make sure that he was safe. Somehow, feeling Oliver inside of her without any barriers in between made the sex even more amazing.

Unable to wait for feeling him inside her again, Felicity scratched her fingernails down his back. She put her hands to his butt and squeezed gently like he had done before. While Oliver chuckled against her lips, Felicity moved her hand between them, grabbed hold of his cock and positioned him at her entrance.

Oliver pulled back enough to look at her. His lips were opened as he panted. Felicity could feel his rapid heartbeat against her ribs. While Oliver entered her slowly, his hard length sliding through her slick walls with ease, she rubbed her hands up and down his neck, focusing just on Oliver’s eyes.

Once he was settled deep inside of her, Oliver stayed unmoving, letting her adjust to the way his cock stretched her. Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, suppressing a content moan at the feeling of being so perfectly filled by him. When Oliver licked his lips, Felicity lifted her head from the pillow and captured his lips in a kiss. It started out slow and gentle, but soon grew more passionate.

Oliver pulled out a little before he thrust back into her. He settled for a quick rhythm without much movement. He barely pulled out before he was already urging his hips closer to hers again. Yet, the way he moved in and out of her, his length rubbing all the right spots, made her pleasure rise quickly. Oliver’s pelvis rubbed against her clit, made heat coil in her stomach quickly. Felicity pushed her heels against Oliver’s butt, wordlessly urging him on.

Soon, their kisses were growing sloppier. Oliver’s thrusts picked up speed. Both of their breathings were becoming shorter and shorter.

“Oliver,” Felicity whispered when one particularly hard thrust made that coiling heat in her stomach form to a tight knot. “Oliver.”

“Yeah, me too,” Oliver whispered back, knowing exactly how close she was.

Only a couple of seconds, a few thrusts later, Felicity felt the well-known prickling in the tip of her toes. Her nails dug into the skin covering his shoulder blades. Oliver grabbed her thigh, pulling it closer to her chest and opening her more to him. The slight change in the position gave her just what she needed. Three thrusts later, the prickling in her toes spread all through her body. Her back arched, her breasts pressing against Oliver’s hard chest and her nipples rubbing against his body as he continued thrusting.

Through the blur of her pleasure, she watched Oliver’s face. He looked at her with intent eyes, his gaze fixed on her face. He was completely focused on her as if he was trying to memorize this moments forever. Felicity lifted her trembling hands and framed his face, her fingers stroking through his short stubble.

“Felicity,” her name fell from Oliver’s lips with a grunt when his hips stilled, and he came.

While both of them enjoyed the aftermath of their orgasms, their hips moving against each other slowly, drawing out the last moments of their pleasure. When their breathings slowly got back to a more normal level, Oliver took one of her hands from his back, kissing her knuckles and lacing his fingers through hers. As he rested their joint fingers on the pillow next to Felicity’s head, Oliver lowered his lips onto hers and kissed her gently. Felicity stroked her toes along his calves, the fingers of her right hand tracing the length of his spine.

When Oliver pulled back enough to look at her, he smiled. His free hand moved to her face, cupping her cheek and stroking his thumb over her cheekbone. He brushed his lips against hers once more before he whispered, “Hi.”

Felicity chuckled at the verbal welcome after he had already welcomed her back nonverbally in such an intense way. She snuggled her face into his hand and kissed his wrist. Smiling at him, she replied, “Hi.”

“I missed you,” Oliver told her and nuzzled her nose. Then he ducked his head and pressed his nose against the side of her neck to breathe her in. “I really missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Felicity answered, “so much.”

Oliver pressed a kiss to her pulse point, squeezing his hand. “I am so glad you are back.”

Felicity nodded. “So am I.”

He kissed her pulse point once more before his lips traveled up the side of her neck and along her jaw until they found hers. Felicity bit down on his bottom lip gently and Oliver growled. Instead of deepening the kiss, though, he pulled back.

“I’ll be back in a second,” he whispered against her lips and kissed her once more. “Don’t move.”

When Oliver slipped out of her, she bit down on her bottom lip to suppress a low moan. She was still so very sensitive. Oliver seemed to realize it because he cocked his head and gave her a certain look. Hiding the arousal she was still feeling, she stretched herself slightly, enjoying the pleasant soreness of her muscles.

“Don’t worry. I am not planning on moving anytime soon,” Felicity explained.

“Good,” Oliver replied.

He pecked her lips once more. Then he crawled out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom, not before looking back over his shoulder and wink at her. Felicity smiled. Only when the door closed, she squeezed her eyes shut and released a long sigh. This had definitely been the best way she could have been welcomed back. She couldn’t have felt more at home if she had tried. Being back in Oliver’s arms had given her back the familiar feeling of home so easily, and it had taken away all the worries she had had when he had stepped inside of her home.

With a suddenness that seemed to choke her, the memory of meeting Ray Palmer at the airport came back to her mind. Felicity felt goosebumps spreading on her skin and quickly pulled the blanket over her, feeling the sudden need to cover her. She still couldn’t get rid of the weird feeling that had been crawling under her skin when she had met Palmer.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Felicity took in a deep breath. She had to pull herself together and forget about this. There was probably no person in the world that acted against the law and was still all calm when meeting someone like Ray Palmer. Meeting people like him always left a weird feeling, no matter what. There was no deeper reason to it.

“How would you like-“ Oliver started when he came back into the bedroom. Felicity turned her head to look at him when he stopped. He stood in the frame of the door, holding a wet washcloth in his hands. He was frowning at her. “What’s wrong?”

Quickly, Felicity put on a smile. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.”

Oliver’s frown deepened and he gave her a look, wordlessly telling her that he didn’t believe her. Felicity bit down on her bottom lip and avoided his gaze.

“Do you want to-?” Oliver asked and held out the washcloth for her.

Felicity nodded quickly, taking it from her. He was usually the one to clean her up after sex, but she guessed that he had caught up on her uncomfortableness and decided that maybe she’d rather do it herself tonight. She didn’t know if that was really true, but she definitely didn’t mind either. She wiped away the remains of the sex between her legs and threw the washcloth over into the bathroom like Oliver usually did while he was putting on some new boxer briefs. He always kept some clothes in her wardrobe.

When Felicity felt the mattress dip beside her, she turned her head to watch Oliver sitting down at the edge of the bed next to her. He looked at her gently, interested but not urging.

“Talk to me,” he pleaded with whispered voice.

Pressing her lips together, she took his hand in both of hers and held it close to her chest.

“I ran into Ray Palmer at the airport.”

Felicity could see Oliver stiffening. His lips formed a tight line and he frowned at her in a way she wasn’t sure how to interpret. Squeezing her hand, he moved closer and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. He pulled her closer until her body was pressed against his and her head rested against his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her tightly and protectively. Felicity released a sigh, enjoying the warmth and the scent of his skin.

Oliver kissed the top of her head. “Don’t worry. He doesn’t know about us. Nobody knows about us.”

Felicity wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince her or if he just wanted to convince himself. Either way, when she leaned her head back to look at him, she could see the worry in his eyes. He tried to hide it behind a smile, but just like he had been able to see through her smile before, she could see through his smile now.

She stroked her hands over his abs, avoiding his gaze when she whispered, “I am scared.”

Oliver’s arms wrapped around her even more tightly, and he kissed the crown of her head. Her hair got caught in his stubble a little and Felicity smiled at the feeling. She had gotten so wonderfully used to it like she had gotten so wonderfully used to so many things that happened between her and Oliver.

“Do you want to end this?” Oliver asked.

Immediately Felicity looked at his face again, looking for a sign that maybe that was what he wanted. Instead, she only found pain in his eyes. His face looked miserable like the bare thought of their relationship coming to an end was making him sick.

“No,” Felicity hurried to say, shaking her head. “No, I don’t want to end this. I am just scared that it will have to end.”

Oliver tightened his arms around her and kissed her forehead, shaking his head slightly. “This won’t end until we want it to end.”

“How can you be so sure?” Felicity asked. “With everything that is going on in this world, how can you be sure that-“

“I love you,” Oliver interrupted her.

Felicity felt her breath getting caught in her throat. Her heart jumped in her chest arrhythmically a few times before it started racing and pounding against her ribs. She tried to say something, but her lips refused to move and, she doubted that even if they did, she could get a single tone out of it.

“I love you,” Oliver repeated eventually. “I love you, and you can bet your ass that there is no way I would ever let this end between us. I’d run to the other side of the earth with you if necessary. I’d never give up on this without a fight. I’d never give up on  _ you _ without a fight.”

Felicity felt tears welling in her eyes at his declaration. He hadn’t only told her that he loved her. He had told her that he would fight no matter what obstacles were thrown their way. Given their situation, she wasn’t sure he would be able to keep this promise. Yet, knowing that he was willing to give everything to keep her close and be with her touched her more than she thought possible.

She had to swallow down the thick lump that had formed in her throat before she whispered with trembling voice, “I love you, too.”

Felicity watched Oliver blink a few times like he couldn’t believe what she had just said. His deep blue eyes focused on hers, looking for any doubt in her eyes. Only when he couldn’t seem to find any, he captured her lips in a desperate kiss. Felicity responded to it instantly, giving back as good as she got.

Soon, Oliver rolled them over, pressing her back into the mattress and covering her body with his. They repeated their  _ I love you _ s again and again as they claimed each other’s body once more, letting actions follow their words as a proof of their truthfulness until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

 

 

The loud knock at the door woke them up abruptly. Oliver sat up in bed just as quickly as Felicity did. Both of them stared towards the door, silently praying for this to be just a false alarm. When it knocked once more, though, Oliver looked at Felicity.

“Are you expecting someone?” Oliver asked her with whispered voice.

Felicity shook her head, her face pale and her eyes wide open. Oliver felt his heart quickening in response. Of course, he knew that there was always the possibility of people coming over unplanned. Yet, it seemed like a weird coincidence that today of all days Felicity was getting an unplanned visit when she had run into Ray Palmer yesterday and had a weird feeling about it.

They both climbed out of bed hurriedly. Oliver picked up his pants from the floor and put them back on. Meanwhile, Felicity put on some sweatpants, a bra and a shirt. Oliver looked for his shirt, but he remembered that she had took it off somewhere along the way to the bedroom and guessed that it was still on the floor in the hall or somewhere.

When there was another loud knock at the door, he saw Felicity flinching in response. She was already taking the first step to the door, but Oliver cut her off quickly. He put his hands to her face, holding her head between his fingers like it was the most precious thing to him, probably because it was the most precious thing to him indeed. These last months, he had allowed Felicity to get so deep into his heart and he had fallen in love so hard with her, he almost couldn’t believe that he had never meant to fall in love with anyone in the first place.

Looking at her scared eyes now, Oliver remembered why he hadn’t wanted to fall in love in the first place. This country was a dangerous place for people to fall in love. There was no happy ending for people who just fell in love, and there was definitely no happy ending for people who fell in love when one of them was already married to someone else. There was no way this could have ended well between them. Yet, Oliver couldn’t bring himself to regret falling in love with Felicity. These last months, he had been happier than he had ever been before.

“I love you,” Oliver reminded her again.

Felicity swallowed. She took in a deep, slightly trembling breath. “I love you, too.”

Oliver felt his heart stumble in his chest at the words. He leaned in and kissed her gently. His lips brushed against hers, and Felicity responded to the kiss, opening up to him. Before he could stroke his tongue into her mouth and taste her, another loud knock made them pull apart, though.

“I am just a friend and needed a place to stay after a fight with my wife,” Oliver whispered a somewhat reasonable excuse for his presence here. “Okay?”

Felicity nodded. “Okay.”

She put her hands around his wrists and pushed his fingers away from her face. Closing her eyes for a second, she left the bathroom. Oliver stayed where he was standing in the middle of her bedroom and listened. He heard her steps going further and further away from him. There was a moment of silence before he heard the door being opened.

“Good morning, Ms. Smoak,” he heard a voice he didn’t know say and felt his heart stopping in his chest already. “There is a certified mail for you.”

Oliver suppressed an exclamation of relief or at least a long sigh as the tension fell off of him. Squeezing his eyes shut and breathing out as slowly as possible, he sat down at the edge of the mattress and let his upper body fall back. He rubbed his hand over his naked chest, trying to ease the stitching pain that still continued on despite the relief of knowing that it was just the postman. Taking in a deep breath, Oliver put his hands to his face and rubbed them over it roughly.

These past months, he had tried avoiding any thought of what would happen if things went down between him and Felicity. There was always the danger of being caught. They knew they could trust their friends, but you could never know about anyone else. Felicity’s neighbors could get suspicious when he showed up too often, and though most people in the Glades would rather die than work for the government, there was always the danger of people realizing how often Felicity was spending time there and deciding to report it. That way they would ensure themselves the government’s goodwill.

He knew all of that, but being with Felicity had made him push those worries aside as fast as possible and focus on the bright side of their relationship. He loved Felicity and he was happy with her. He didn’t want to give up on that just because of the fear what might happen sooner or later. Maybe, just maybe, they were lucky and whoever Felicity would have to get married to – a thought Oliver tried to avoid as much as possible – would accept what they had and everything would work for them.

Either way, he’d enjoy every second he had with Felicity and only lose himself in worries when they time would come. He would find a way to stay with Felicity, no matter the cost, then. Hopefully, that would wait another couple of years.

When he heard Felicity entering the room again, he grinned and was already about to comment on how they had gotten panicked despite all their resolutions when he sat up and saw the still shocked expression on Felicity’s face. He quickly got up and walked towards her. He cupped her face with his hands and hold her safe.

“Hey,” he said gently and stroked his thumbs along her cheekbones. “It’s okay. Nothing happened. It was just-“

“Nothing’s okay,” Felicity whispered.

Oliver felt the need to lower his gaze and look away. He couldn’t lie right into her face like that and though things were okay for now, they were far from okay given their general situation. He knew that. Yet, he wanted to calm her down. He didn’t want her to be scared. If he could take her fear from her and carry it for her, he’d do it.

“Felicity, it’s-“

The words got caught in his throat when Felicity lifted the envelope she held between her fingers. Oliver didn’t even have to look at it. Even from the corner of his eyes he could see the emblem on the right corner, telling where the letter came from. Oliver’s heart clenched painfully in his chest, beating arrhythmically against his ribs with a lot of force.

“Nothing’s okay, Oliver,” Felicity whispered. She swallowed hard before she took in a trembling breath. “I will have to get married.”


	7. Run with me

Felicity felt paralyzed. Unable to say a word or do anything else but staring at Oliver, she stood in the middle of her bedroom and forced herself to breathe. She could see the expression of blank panic she knew showed on her face mirrored in Oliver’s eyes. His body was tense, and just like her he seemed to be unable to move.

They had known that this would happen eventually. They had talked about this more than once actually. Yet, measured on the shock they were both in now, Felicity felt like they hadn’t taken this serious, at least not serious enough. They had suppressed the thought of this as much as possible, neither of them willing to even consider that this could happen sooner than either of them would be prepared for. If there even was a way to prepare oneself for this.

There was a part of Felicity that just wanted to burn the letter, climb back into bed and snuggle close to Oliver. She wanted his strong arms to wrap around her and pull her close to his broad chest. She wanted to feel his heart beating against her ribs until her heart adapted to it, beating in union with his. She wanted him to make love to her, slowly and passionately, to make her forget this moment ever happened. She wanted to get lost in pleasure with him, knowing she’d find herself there eventually.

Yet, Felicity knew there was no running away from this. She could trash this paper, rip it into pieces or even burn it. It wouldn’t change the fact that she would have to get married, though. The longer she waited and pretended this wasn’t real, the harder it would get at the end.

Taking in a deep breath, Felicity lowered her eyes for a moment. She felt a single tear slipping down her cheek, but quickly wiped it away. Crying wasn’t going to help her either, she figured and squeezed her eyes shut to gather herself. It was supposed to be only for a couple of seconds, but Felicity had trouble opening them again. It was like as long as she didn’t have to see it, it wasn’t real. She really didn’t want it to be real. She felt a sob rising inside of her throat and pressed her lips together tightly to prevent it from escaping.

Oliver took a step towards her, framed her face with his warm hands and brushed his lips against hers gently. Felicity grabbed his wrist tightly, rubbing her thumb over his pulse point. When their lips parted, he nuzzled her nose for a moment before he pecked her lips once more and then pulled away far enough to lock eyes with her. He didn’t need to say anything for her to understand what he was trying to tell. She knew he was there for her, and that he loved her. He wasn’t going to turn around and leave her alone with this now that it got hard. He’d be here and let her lean on him if that was what she wanted and needed.

Wordlessly, Felicity held out the letter for Oliver, and he took it from her. Taking in a deep breath, Felicity sat down at the edge of the mattress. She pulled her legs close to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees. In the meantime, Oliver ripped open the envelope and pulled out the letter inside. He dropped the envelope to the floor carelessly as his eyes were already following the written lines hurriedly.

The silence was growing tenser with each second. Felicity actually wondered if Oliver could hear her heartbeat because she felt it was unbelievably loud. It was like her heart tried to fill the silence that had settled between them, unable to bear it. Felicity watched Oliver closely, but he seemed completely focused on what he was reading. It took a few seconds, but even before his hands tightened to fists and he balled up the letter, she knew he didn’t have any good news. Felicity felt her heart sinking a little more from her stomach to her feet it seemed where it stayed motionlessly, waiting to be picked up and trashed.

She lowered her eyes. Whatever nice scenarios of continuing their relationship despite her wedding they had imagined in the past months seemed to slip even more and more out of reach. It had always just been a flicker of hope to lighten the seriousness of the moment whenever they had talked about it and never a real option anyway. There weren’t many people who would agree to something like that as it seemed way too dangerous. The majority of people would rather give up on any chance of happiness and try follow the rules.

Oliver threw the paper into a corner of the room, stepped in front of her and kneeled down on the floor. His hands stroked up and down her thighs soothingly. Yet, Felicity didn’t miss that they were trembling and with that giving away how nervous he was deep down, too.

“It’s Ray Palmer, right?” Felicity asked in a whisper when Oliver remained silent. “I am supposed to get married to Ray Palmer.”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath, and his fingers tightened around her knees. “I am not going to let this happen to you.”

There was no doubt that Oliver believed in what he was saying. The expression in his eyes showed how certain he was about what he had said. He really thought that there was a way for him to prevent this from happening. He really thought that he could actually protect her from getting married to the man who was running for the post of presidential candidate in the party that was forcing people into marriages.

“Like there is anything you can do about that,” Felicity replied with waspish voice.

She shook his hands off her and got up, starting to pace up and down in the room under Oliver’s intense gaze. She knew he only meant well. He wanted to comfort her and make her feel like the situation wasn’t as disastrous as it might seem. Felicity just couldn’t respond to this try just yet. The shock and the fear was too deep and too present to allow any glimpse of hope to settle already.

When she had run into Ray Palmer yesterday and he had known her name, she had felt that something was wrong. She had felt that there was a storm coming their way. She had known it, and she had ignored it.

“I knew it,” Felicity said in a whisper, unsure if she said it to herself or to Oliver. She cast him a look, realizing that he was watching her intently from where he was still kneeling on the floor in front of the bed. “I knew something was wrong when I ran into him at the airport. I knew there had to be a reason for him knowing my name, and I knew it couldn’t be anything good.”

“I know,” Oliver whispered in response.

“And you didn’t believe me,” Felicity said, stopping her pacing to fully turn around to Oliver now and look at him angrily. “You told me he didn’t know about us and downplayed that encounter like it was meaningless when I just knew that something was up there.”

“I know,” Oliver only whispered again.

Felicity frowned, putting her hands to her hips and looking at Oliver angrily. She knew it wasn’t really fair to blame him the way she did right now. Even if he had taken her fear more seriously instead of just brushing it off and soothing her, there had been nothing they could have done about the situation. The decision that she should get married to Ray Palmer must have been made weeks ago, and once the system had decide, there hadn’t been any chance that this could have been prevented. There was nothing anyone could do in this country, especially not when it came to the marriage laws. Yet, she felt like he was still seeing at this situation through rose-colored glasses.

“You know?” Felicity asked him. “That is all you are going to say to this? That you know?”

Oliver nodded slowly. “Yes, that is all I am going to say to this because you seem to be in the stage of anger, and I feel you should be able to vent it out and if you need to vent it out on someone, then you should vent it out on me. At least I am going to feel like I am having some use in this situation because I feel a little helpless here.”

Felicity let out a breath, looking at the ceiling and shaking her head. Of course, it wasn’t fair to blame Oliver. There was nothing he could do to change this situation for them. Yet, he did what he felt he could do for her by allowing her to vent all her anger on him when none of this was his fault. He hadn’t talked her into starting a relationship with him. It had been her own decision. Knowing what the world could have offered her with Oliver in contrast of knowing what the world handed her with Ray Palmer made the pain of this situation only worse. Yet, Oliver wasn’t to blame for any of this.

“I am sorry,” she said eventually, breathing the words out. She shook her head and looked at him. Then, she went over to him, sat down on the floor next to Oliver and took his hands. “I am sorry.”

Oliver shook his head. “Don’t be. You are angry, and you have every right to be angry given this news. I was angry, but I moved past it.”

Felicity chuckled sadly. “That went fast then. I am nowhere close moving past it, and if I do, I am not sure where it will take me.”

She lowered her eyes, looking at their linked fingers on the floor. As long as Felicity was angry, she felt like she was fighting. She didn’t want to move past her anger and fall into depression. According to the five stages of grief – and Felicity felt like she was grieving, mourning her hopes of a better and happier life with Oliver – depression would come at least at some point after the anger. She didn’t want to fall into depression because she knew it would paralyze her, making her drown in her desperation. It was not something she wanted to do.

She suddenly felt nauseated. Her stomach cramped terribly, and Felicity had to bite her tongue to suppress the urge to gag. Ray Palmer wasn’t only going to crush all her hopes that despite being married to him she could continue being with Oliver. Even more importantly, he was going to insist on the whole marriage thing. Systemized procreation that would spawn an even healthier generation was the government’s goal after all.

A cold shiver ran down her back, and her body started trembling. She couldn’t get married to him. Ray Palmer was probably one of the most terrible and most ruthless people on the planet. There was no other way you would strive for a political career in the governing party if you cared for other people’s wellbeing. Being forced into a loveless marriage was one thing, being forced into a marriage with someone who supported and helped maintaining the system was something completely else.

“What am I going to do now?”

The words were only whispered, but they sounded so loud in the silence that had settled between them. When Oliver squeezed her hands, Felicity looked at him. She knew that he could see the desperation that she tried to hide between a brave smile. He frowned for a moment and squeezed her hand once more.

Eventually, Oliver released a sigh, let go of her hand and cupped her face in his hands gently. His thumbs stroked over her cheekbones while he was leaning in for a kiss. Before his lips touched hers, he stopped though. His forehead rested against hers, his breath ghosting over her face. Felicity could feel him taking in a deep breath as his nose pressed to her skin. She could feel his frown against her forehead, reminding her of how hard this had to be for him, too. She knew he loved her. He had even told her yesterday. He had never planned on falling in love after all, especially after all the suffering the laws and the government had put his family through.

Unable to take the anticipation any longer, Felicity held onto Oliver’s wrists and straightened up to brush her lips against his. It was a short, chaste kiss, not more than lips brushing against each other for a moment. Felicity licked her lips, chasing the taste of Oliver’s lips on hers. She was going to miss this, was going to miss kissing him and spending time with him and everything about him and them.

As if the same thought had crossed his mind, Oliver captured her lips with his in a searing kiss now. As his tongue opened her lips for its touch, Felicity gave into it with a sigh. She crawled onto his lap, pressing her body close to his. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her right hand moving into his short hair and angling his head back for her to deepen the kiss even more.

Felicity chased the feeling of safety she had always felt when she was with Oliver, the feeling that everything would be okay at the end and that they would make it somehow. For some reason, probably because of the omnipresent heaviness of their real situation, that feeling refused to settle in, though.

When the need for breath grew too much to bear, her lungs burning with the need for oxygen, Felicity broke the kiss. Her fingertips scratched through his short stubble, and she smiled when it elicited a dark growl from Oliver. He tightened his arms around her waist and pulled her in a for an intense hug. Taking in a deep breath, he rested his head against her shoulder and pressed his nose to her pulse point to breathe her in. Felicity stroked her fingers through his hair as he did so, squeezing her eyes shut and suppressing a sob.

She had never felt safer or better than with Oliver. Being with him had showed her that she still had control over her life and that even living here couldn’t keep her from making her own decisions. It had all been an illusion, though, it seemed.

Slowly, she felt her anger fading and the depression turning in. There was no way to prevent this from happening, nothing that could be done. She would have to give up the life she knew and become someone she didn’t want to be. As the woman at Ray Palmer’s side, she would be an embodiment of the party’s plans and their goals and the party itself. She had no idea how she was supposed to get through that.

Oliver pulled out of the hug enough to look at her. He tugged her hair behind her ear and wiped away some tears that had fallen from her eyes. As his hands cupped her cheeks and held her close, his eyes locked on hers. He stayed silent, his face unreadable, for a moment until he eventually frowned slightly.

“Run away with me,” he whispered.

Felicity released sound, a mixture of a sigh and a sob, cocking her head at Oliver. “You know there is no running away from this.”

“If we make it overseas-“

“How?” Felicity asked. “Oliver, they increased the border protection, so there is no going out there easily. Maybe they’d let you go if you found a way to make them believe that you have an appointment somewhere or whatever. In my case, I can’t go anywhere. As soon as they check my name in the system, they will see who I am supposed to get married to and deny me the departure as long as they didn’t check that he agreed to that.”

“Not if they don’t know who you really are,” Oliver replied.

Felicity frowned. “What do you-“

“I know someone who fakes passes,” Oliver responded. “I am going to pay him a lot of money, and you will become someone else. Nobody will know.”

“Even then there is no guarantee that we will get permission to leave the country. Permissions are barely ever granted at the border. They aren’t even granted when requested weeks or even months before the planned departure. You know that.”

“Then we will have to find a hidden path. Your friends Curtis and Paul got out of here somehow. We just have to find a way.”

Felicity pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down on it. What Oliver suggested was appealing. It was the one thing that might be worth a try. Maybe they could actually escape this horror that had descended upon them this morning. It was also highly risky, though. If they got caught and the police discovered that they weren’t only trying to escape but secretly dating, Felicity didn’t even want to think about their punishment. They’d probably be executed, especially given who she was supposed to get married to. Their names would be put into press releases, setting an example for everyone who even considered acting against the laws.

For Felicity trying to run away was a choice. The life she knew she was being forced into wouldn’t hold much joy. It would be painful and devastating and maybe it would break her. It wouldn’t be worth living, so being executed, though scary, didn’t seem that much of a loss to her right now. It was different for Oliver, though, Felicity thought as she stroked her hands over Oliver’s head gently, looking at him intently.

“You know what this means for you, right?” Felicity asked. “You’d be executed if they caught us. Thea would be interrogated if they found out about this. Nyssa would be investigated and if they find out about her and Sara-“

“Thea got a scholarship for a fashion school in Paris. She requested permission to leave the country and against all odds it was granted,” Oliver explained. “We found a doctor who attested that she has some genetical defects. She tends to have rash. It’s not too bad, but it can be annoying and she even had to skip school sometimes when it was really bad. She made it look a lot worse at the doctor’s and told him dad had had similar issues in the last years to make it look more like a genetical defect. Hence, she’s not really what the government is looking for in procreation and they allow her to leave.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Felicity asked.

“Thea’s not sure she wants to go yet,” Oliver replied with a sigh. “I am her only family, and the US are her home after all, and if she leaves, she can never come back. They won’t allow her to come back once she is out. I am still trying to convince her to go. It’s much easier said than done. If she knows that I am leaving too, maybe that will make it easier for her. We could meet her in France. They don’t have an extradition treaty with the US, but what country does have that these days?”

Felicity nodded slowly. She wasn’t sure if they would still let Thea go if Oliver fled with her, but if Thea could make them believe that she didn’t know, then why would they keep her here? Given the genetical defects the doctor attested her of, she wasn’t going to be useful for them. They were probably relieved if she left, one less person that could pass on genetical defects to the next generation. Oliver’s escape would be unfortunate, especially given who he was fleeing with. Yet, it wasn’t a direct attack on the political systems, and hence no treason. Thea wouldn’t be given too much trouble.

“What about Nyssa and Sara?” Felicity asked.

“They will understand,” Oliver replied. “If Sara was supposed to get married to someone like Palmer, they’d do the same.”

Felicity hesitated, contorting her face. “It’s not fair to them.”

“It’s not fair to anyone involved,” Oliver replied. “It’s not fair to them. It’s not fair to Thea. It’s not fair to me. Most importantly, it’s not fair to you, though. None of this is fair to anyone because this place is just not fair.”

Oliver stroked his fingers over her cheeks gently, looking at her with a mixture of love and worry that made Felicity lean her face more into his touch. A few months ago, Oliver hadn’t even been a part of her life, and now he was inevitably connected to her.

“I meant what I said to you yesterday, Felicity,” Oliver whispered eventually. “I love you, and I am not letting go of us or of you without a fight. Please let us try to take this chance. Please run away with me, Felicity.”

_ The question is if you want to wait until you find out whether the ministry will find someone for you that you can be happy with or if you want to use this chance to try and find out if maybe you can find happiness by yourself. _

At the thought of John’s words, Felicity frowned slightly. Back when he had said them to her, she had made the decision that she was going to overcome her fear and give her and Oliver a chance on love. She had taken her life into her own hands and decided that she was making the choices for herself. Now the ministry had tried to engage into her life, and it had screwed up miserably. She wouldn’t get what John and Lyla or Tommy and Laurel had. She actually already had what they had. She had it with Oliver, and she didn’t want to give up on it.

“Okay.”

Oliver blinked like he couldn’t believe what she had said. “Okay?”

Felicity nodded. “Okay. I will run away with you.”

Immediately, Oliver’s lips were on hers. He kissed her desperately, putting all his love and all his need into that one kiss. Felicity put her arms around his neck and pressed herself to him as close as possible. She could feel his heartbeat against her ribs. His heart beat just as quickly as hers did.

Eventually, Oliver’s hands tightened around her face. With a low growl against her lips, he broke the kiss, pulling away and pushing her face a little away at the same time. As Felicity opened her eyes, she could see the mixture of emotions in his face. Oliver was still worried and probably as scared as she was. She could almost see the plenty of thoughts running through his mind as he seemed to consider what to do next and how to get them out of this country safely. At the same time, he seemed to be almost excited.

Oliver got up on his feet quickly and pulled her into a straight position with him.

“Pack some stuff, just the most necessary things,” Oliver told her. “Arrange what you need to arrange and what you can arrange without anyone noticing our plans.”

Felicity nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Oliver whispered back. “I am going to get the fake pass for you, talk to Thea and Nyssa, arrange things with Tommy for Verdant and… do whatever else I need to do. I am going to come back here by dawn tonight. We will wait until the sun is set and start our journey then.”

Again, Felicity nodded, unable to do anything else. “Okay.”

Oliver kissed her once more, shortly this time. Then he stroked his thumb over her cheekbones shortly and eventually let go of her. Felicity turned around to watch him taking his leather jacket and his motorcycle helmet. He took the helmet under his arm and stepped back in front of Felicity, cupping her face in his warm hands once more and brushing another kiss against her lips.

When their lips parted and he pulled away to look at her, Felicity saw the unspoken promise in his eyes. Without saying anything, he once more declared his love for her, vowing to keep her safe from the threat that had been put right in front of them. Felicity nodded slowly, telling him that she understood what his eyes were telling her.

“I am going to pick you up tonight.”

Felicity nodded. “Okay.”

Oliver brushed his lips against hers in one last gentle kiss before he turned around with a long sigh that revealed how hard it was to just walk away from her now. He didn’t look back, though. Felicity waited until she had heard the front door falling shut behind him before she sank down on the edge of the bed. Her legs trembled slightly even in the sitting position. She took in a trembling breath, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment.

She would have to leave everything behind. She would have to leave her home and her company behind. She would have to leave her friends behind. It would be a huge conversion, and it was going to be quite the risk. Yet, Felicity knew it was the right thing to do. She wouldn’t endure the suppression the government had put upon all of them in the last decades. She wouldn’t.

 

 

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Oliver didn’t even reply to his best friend’s question, turning to Nyssa and approaching her instead. He came to stand right in front of her and put his hands to her shoulders.

“I am so sorry, Nyssa,” he told her, the honesty of his words audible in his voice. “I know this is not how our marriage was supposed to go. I am really sorry I am putting you and Sara into this position. If there was any other way-“

“Stop it,” Nyssa almost whispered, shaking her head. It was the first time she said anything since Oliver had told her and Tommy that he was going to leave the US with Felicity tonight. He had thought Nyssa’s long silence would have been a sign that she was angry despite what he had thought about her being the first to understand given that she would do the same he is doing for Felicity if it was Sara who would have to get married to someone like Ray Palmer. Her voice proved that he hadn’t been wrong, though. She did understand. She even cast him the slightest of an encouraging smile. “I know where you are coming from. I know you have to do it. I’d do the same for Sara, and I’d expect you to understand that I had no choice in a situation like that.”

Oliver released a breath of relief, squeezing Nyssa’s shoulders. “Thank you for understanding. I wouldn’t leave you in the lurch if the situation was any difference.”

Nyssa smiled. “I know.”

He looked at her for a long moment, making sure there wasn’t even the slightest hint of anger in her eyes. Only when he was sure of that, he let go of her shoulders to hug her. Even though there had never been romantic feelings between him and Nyssa, not even something close to it, they had grown to be close friends for quite some time. Nyssa had always encouraged him to live his life the way he wanted it to live, setting an example of how to follow your heart and not just give in to the government’s suppression from the start.

“What are you and Sara going to do now?” he asked, still holding her in a tight hug.

Nyssa shrugged her shoulders, rubbing his hands up and down his back. “I am quite sure the chances that I will get another husband like you is rather small. I guess Sara and I will try to emulate your and Felicity’s deeds and try to go away from here as soon as possible.”

Oliver nodded, tightening his arms around Nyssa for a moment before he let go of her. “I am really sorry, Nyssa.”

She just shook her head. “Don’t be. You gave Sara and me some great, carefree years. You have probably been the best guy I could have been forced to get married to after all. Now it’s time for us to hold out for a more permanent solution.”

Oliver smiled, feeling weirdly touched by Nyssa’s words. He hadn’t chosen to get married to her. Neither had she chosen to get married to him. Yet, she was right. They had been the perfect match given the anything-but-perfect conditions that had brought them together.

“Okay, before anyone starts getting too emotional here,” Tommy said, “can we once again go back to my initial question, are you sure you want to do this?”

With a long sigh, Oliver zipped his bag and let it fall to the floor. He wasn’t going to take a lot with him. He had packed the most important stuff, his favorite hoodies and some other clothes, as well as a ton of cash. He didn’t know if his account was going to be blocked if his escape would be noticed, but just in case he wanted to have at least a little money for the first time wherever their journey would lead Felicity and him. He knew her well enough to be sure that she had used this day to transfer some money to accounts that couldn’t be found easily.

“Earth to Oliver,” Tommy insisted flicking his fingers in front of Oliver’s eyes. “Did you hear me?”

Oliver turned around to him with a sigh and put his hands to his best friend’s shoulders. “Tommy, my answer hasn’t changed since you asked the last five times.”

“You do know that you are basically putting a bullseye onto your forehead, your back and every other part of your body, right?”

“Yes,” Oliver replied firmly, nodding his head. “I know.”

Tommy perked up his eyebrows. “And you don’t mind at all?”

Oliver puckered his lips for a moment before shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

Surprise showed on Tommy’s face, and it almost made Oliver chuckle. It definitely would if it wasn’t for the slight surprise Oliver felt, too. He knew this situation was serious, so he wasn’t taking it lightly. Yet, he really didn’t mind the danger he was putting himself in. It wasn’t because he was crazy or because he didn’t care. It was just that he knew he was doing the right thing. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it was right.

“Okay, I know I told you to find someone you want more with,” Tommy stated, “but I didn’t mean like this. I mean this is quite the thing you are planning here. I know you like Felicity, but-“

“I don’t just like her, Tommy,” Oliver replied, shaking his head slightly. “I love her.”

The surprise Tommy’s face had shown before increased. He perked up his eyebrows, looking at his best friend for a long moment before he nodded slowly as though the realization was just settling in.

“You love her?” Tommy asked again.

Oliver nodded, shooting a short look at Nyssa, who smiled at him, before he repeated once more, “I love her.”

He couldn’t say it often enough. Against all his plans of never falling in love and never putting himself into a situation like this, he had fallen in love. Now he had to run, but at least he’d run to a happier life. He didn’t regret falling in love with Felicity. It would have been easier without his feelings for her, but also a lot emptier.

“Does Thea know you are leaving?” Tommy asked.

Oliver nodded. “I went to see her before I came back here.”

“What does she think about this?”

“She understands,” Oliver replied. “She said we are like Bonnie and Clyde, just without the robberies. I think this will make the decision of going to France a lot easier.”

“So that is where you and Felicity are going?” Tommy asked. “France?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “We didn’t make any plans. There wasn’t time for it, but even if there had been, she wouldn’t have made any. For now, our only goal is to get out of this country as soon as possible. We can still make plans when we are out of here.”

“I guess there is nothing I can do to convince you to even think about this once more?” Tommy asked.

Oliver shook his head. “Absolutely nothing.”

Tommy nodded, releasing a long sigh. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the keys for his Porsche, dangling them in front of Oliver. “Then I guess all I can say is, drive safe.”

“Your car? Really?”

Again, Tommy nodded. “Yeah. It’s the least I can do to offer you and Felicity a good start. In case someone asks, I am going to say you stole it, though.”

“That’s only fair,” Oliver responded. He took the keys from Tommy and spread his arms for his best friend. “Come here.”

They hugged shortly, wordlessly saying goodbye to each other. They had been friends since forever, but Oliver just had to go on this journey now, even if it meant never seeing his friend in person again and break contact until Felicity had found a way to build a safe connection.

“Are you going to leave right now?” Nyssa asked when Olive grabbed his bag.

“I have a few more things to take care of. As soon as everything is arranged, I am going to go to Felicity. We are leaving by dawn then.”

“Good luck,” Nyssa said.

“Get back in touch with us when possible.”

“I promise,” Oliver said. He looked at Nyssa and Tommy for another moment before he sighed and nodded his head. “Goodbye then.”

“Bye,” Nyssa replied.

“Take care,” Tommy added.

Oliver took in another deep breath, tightening his hand around the keys. Then he turned around, left his bedroom and hurried down the stairs to the front door of the loft. As he stepped outside, he felt his body tensing slightly. When he left, there was no going back, so it was a huge step. Yet, it was what he wanted to do, even if it was dangerous. At least he and Felicity could live a life in freedom and peace then.

 

 

“I am really going to miss you, baby girl,” Felicity whispered, moving her hand over Andria’s short hair. “Just promise me you won’t forget me.”

“She won’t,” John promised. “We are going to take care of that.”

Felicity smiled through the tears that were welling in her eyes and kissed the baby’s cheek before she handed her over to her dad. She had been a mess the entire day, and saying goodbye to her friends was definitely the peak of emotionally exhausting things she had to put herself through today.

Lyla stepped in front of her, looking at her with a worried expression in her eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked her, taking Felicity’s hands and squeezing them gently. “You will have to leave your entire life behind, your friends, your company.”

“Tell me a different way to deal with this, and I’ll do it,” Felicity replied, shrugging her shoulders. “There is no way I am going to get married to Ray Palmer. There is no way for me to stay in the US without getting married to him, though.”

Lyla sighed and pulled Felicity into a tight hug. “I know. I just really don’t want you to leave.”

Felicity hid her face against Lyla’s neck, holding her friend close. “I really wished it was different. It is what it is, though, and I don’t see a future for me here anymore.”

“I know,” Lyla whispered, tightening her hold on Felicity once more. “I still can’t believe you are supposed to get married to Ray Palmer of all people.”

“Yeah,” Felicity all but breathed back.

She had struggled to process that thought all day. There were hundreds of millions of people living in the USA, and she had been chosen to get married to one of the few people who actively kept the party alive and enforced the dictatorship. Ray Palmer didn’t just put up with the system out of fear of the consequences. He actively supported it and wanted to get at its head. It was just insane, and the thought that Felicity was supposed to get married to someone like that unthinkable.

“Are you scared?” Lyla asked her.

“Nervous would be more fitting,” Felicity replied. Slowly she let go of Lyla to look at her. “I would be more scared if I was staying here.”

Lyla smiled and stroked her hand over Felicity’s cheek, smiling at her through the tears that welled in her eyes, too. “I guess you are doing the right thing then.”

“I know I am,” Felicity whispered back.

It was true. She knew that for her, running away from here was the only option. She wouldn’t regret running away because however this journey would end for her, everything was better than a marriage with a politician. It was Oliver, his decision and his regret she was worried about. He was leaving his life behind for her. She believed him that he wanted to do that now. What would happen if he’d regret this decision eventually, though?

When Andria released a low cry, Lyla turned around and took the young girl from her father. Sighing, she kissed her daughter’s temple and turned back to Felicity. “She is tired. I guess that is our cue to leave.”

Felicity nodded. “It’s better that way anyway. I have a few more things to take care of before Oliver comes back to pick me up.”

John put his strong arms around her and hugged her. “Is there anything you need? Anything we can do for you?”

Felicity thought about it for a moment before she shook her head against his shoulder. “No, I think I have everything I need.”

John pulled away and framed her face with his huge hands. “I am very proud of you. You are taking your life into your own hands, and that is not an easy thing to do in a world like this. Whatever happens, you have proved that you are strong and self-determined. I am really going to miss you.”

“Continue like this and you are going to make me cry,” Felicity replied with a mixture of a sob and a chuckle. “And I was trying so hard not to.”

When John let go of her, Felicity moved her fingers under her eyes to wipe away the tears that had fallen.

“I am going to get back into touch with you as soon as I can. It will probably take a while, though,” Felicity explained. “First, Oliver and I need to get out of here and make a plan what we do with our lives.”

John and Lyla both nodded. Neither of them said anything more. They just looked at each other quietly, sharing this last moment together.

“We will go then,” Lyla said.

Felicity nodded. “Yeah, I have things to arrange anyway.”

It took another moment before Felicity lowered her eyes, giving Lyla the chance to finally turn to the door. She lifted her gaze again eventually and watched her friends leave. Andria, who was snuggled up in her mother’s arms, waved at her tiredly. Smiling sadly, Felicity waved back at the little girl. While Lyla clung to her daughter, John turned around to Felicity one last time. He cast her an encouraging smile before he shot the door behind them.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Felicity wrapped her arms around her body. Saying goodbye to John, Lyla and Andria had definitely been the hardest part of this day so far. She would miss them terribly. Never seeing them again was going to be painful.

Felicity sucked in a deep breath and opened her eyes. As she released the breath through her mouth, she went over to her bedroom. She had packed a suitcase with everything she needed to take with her. She went through the stuff she had packed once more before she closed the suitcase eventually, deciding that checking what she had packed five times just had to be enough. She grabbed the list she had made for all the things she had to do before Oliver would come pick her up and finally ticked the box that said  _ Pack _ .

With a long sigh, she sat down on the edge of the mattress, going through the completed list once more. She had arranged a few things at the company to make sure that the company was somehow going to go on without her. She didn’t want all the people who worked for her to lose their jobs. After that she had transferred some money to anonymous accounts to make sure she and Oliver would have some way to live in the next few months until they knew how they were going to earn some money. She had sent her mother a letter to let her know that she was going to leave, but that she couldn’t tell her where she was going because it was too dangerous for her to know. Everything that could be done was done. Now all Felicity could do was wait.

Felicity looked around her bedroom, wondering where she would sleep the next couple of nights or if she was going to sleep at all. She felt like her body was running on so much adrenaline right now that sleeping felt impossible. She doubted that all that adrenaline was going to cease easily. It would probably take some time until she’d get calmer again.

When there was a knock at the door, Felicity frowned slightly. She glanced at the clock. It was too early for Oliver to be here already. He had told her he wasn’t going to be here before eight. Maybe Lyla and John had come back, Felicity thought to herself. Andria was dropping her toys and pacifiers everywhere lately and then cried when she didn’t find them again.

She was almost at the door when it knocked again.

“Almost there,” she called and shot a look around her living room for something Andria could have lost while she was already opening the door. “What did she forget this ti-“

Felicity fell silent as soon as she saw the person on her doorstep. Her heart stopped before it stumbled in her chest. It took a long, breathless moment before it got back to an even beat. It pounded against her chest with so much force, it took her breath away once more. Felicity swallowed down the lump in her throat.

“Mr. Palmer.”

“Ms. Smoak,” he said, casting her the same creepy smile he had given her at the airport yesterday. “I think we need to talk.”


	8. Fight for this love

As Oliver drove down the street to Felicity’s townhouse, he shot nervous glances into the rearview mirror, making sure he wasn’t followed. He had had a weird feeling all day, but he guessed it was just because of the news they had gotten this morning. Even thinking about what Felicity would be put through if she got married to Ray Palmer made his stomach twist painfully. There was just no way that he would ever let that happen, no matter what he’d have to do to prevent this from happening.

He parked Tommy’s Porsche in Felicity’s driveway and turned off the engine. Instead of heading right to the door, he leaned back to close his eyes and take some deep breaths, though. When he’d knock at Felicity’s door, he didn’t want to be such a mess. He knew he wouldn’t be able to fully contain his feelings, but he wanted to support Felicity and be her rock in this situation. After all, this affected her a lot more than it affected him. Once they were safe, he would wrap his arms around her waist tightly, hold her to him and not let her go. He’d do that until the realization that they would be able to be together and to live a normal life where he could kiss her wherever he wanted would settle. Until then, they’d both need a clear head to go through with their plan.

Breathing out slowly once more, Oliver patted the side of his chest where he felt the faked passes in the inside of his leather jacket. As he got out of the car, he shot a short look down the street, making sure nobody was there, before he hurried to Felicity’s door and knocked. With held breath, he listened for the noises behind the door. When he didn’t hear anything, he frowned and knocked once more.

“Felicity?” he called with almost whispered voice. “It’s me.”

For a moment, he felt his heart jumping into his throat at the fear that something might have happened to her. He was just about to lift his hand and pound his fist against the door when he heard steps coming closer. There was a short moment of quiet, and he could almost hear Felicity taking in a deep breath before the door opened.

“Hey,” Oliver said, quickly pushing through the open door and into the house.

“Hi,” Felicity replied.

As soon as she had closed the door behind them, Oliver put his hands to her hips and turned her around to him. His lips captured hers in a gentle even if hungry and slightly desperate kiss. It took a moment before Felicity responded to the kiss and even when she did, there was still some hesitation there. Immediately, Oliver tightened his hold on her hips and pulled her a little closer. He broke the kiss, though, nuzzling Felicity’s nose with his eyes still closed.

He knew she was scared. She had every reason to be. Yet, he wanted to take at least some of the fear from her. The calmer they were, the easier it would be to convince officers they might have to encounter on their run that there was nothing illegal going on, just two people on a southbound road trip.

“We need to talk,” Felicity whispered eventually.

“Later,” Oliver promised. He opened his eyes and pecked Felicity’s lips once more before he turned around and headed to her bedroom. “Let’s get your suitcase into the car and get away from here. The sooner we leave, the better. We can talk on the ride.”

“Oliver…”

When he stepped into the bedroom and saw Felicity’s opened suitcase on the bed, empty, he frowned. Shooting a look back over his shoulder while approaching the bed to see if there were any other suitcase she had packed, he asked, “Wasn’t there enough time to pack?”

Felicity didn’t reply and Oliver didn’t find any other baggage. His frown deepened when he turned around to where she was standing in the doorframe. He was already about to ask if managing things at her company and saying goodbye to her friends had taken too long for her to pack when, for the first time this night, he really looked at her. Felicity was pale. Her face was almost as white as a sheet of paper. Her eyes were rimmed red like she had been crying, and they glanced unnaturally. She was avoiding eye contact, looking past him most of the time and only looking at him directly every once in a while. Her arms were wrapped around herself protectively like she was doing her best to hold herself together.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Oliver hurried to say, crossing the distance to wrap his arms around her small frame and pull her close against him. He kissed her forehead gently before he repeated, “It’s okay. We are going to get this done.”

“Oliver, we can’t leave,” Felicity whispered, a sob resonating in her voice.

“It’s okay,” Oliver replied, stroking his hands over her hair and angling her head back to make her look at him. He cast her a reassuring smile, explaining with soft voice, “We are going to get this done. I am going to help you, so we can leave in half an hour. It’s not-“

“No, you don’t understand,” Felicity interrupted him, shaking her head as much as possible as he was still holding her face in his hands. “I can’t- I am not going to-“

Felicity stopped, taking in a deep breath. Tears welled in her eyes, and Oliver moved his thumbs over her cheekbones comfortingly. Felicity put her hands to his wrists and pushed his hands away from her face, though. Casting him a short look that Oliver didn’t know what to think about, she went past him towards the bed. She moved her fingertips over the edge of her suitcase for a second before she closed it and pushed it under her bed. With a low sigh, she sat down on the edge of the bed, her shoulders slumped and her hands between her thighs.

Oliver frowned. Something was going very wrong here. He felt his heart beating against his ribs with painful force, almost taking his breath away. Blood was rushing loudly in his ear. He felt nauseated and slightly panicked. Something really was very, very wrong here.

“Oliver, I am not going to run away with you,” Felicity said, her voice steadier now. She looked at him with a certainty in her eyes that was almost convincing if it wasn’t for the fluttering of her lids that let the insecurity beneath shine through. His frown deepened while he was holding his breath, waiting for her to continue. He could see in the way she swallowed again and again that she wanted to say something more, and Oliver already suspected that it would only get worse. A suspicion that was confirmed when Felicity took in a deep breath and added, “I am going to get married to Ray Palmer.”

Oliver felt his world stop. It was like it had been spinning too fast all day, and now it had just stopped like someone had hit the brakes so abruptly that he felt disorientated. Felicity just couldn’t be serious. In all the months, they had been together, Felicity had repeated over and over again that she could never live in a loveless marriage. Getting married to Ray Palmer wasn’t only going to trap her into a loveless marriage. It was going to trap her into a life lived in fear and a life lived in violence if she didn’t behave the way it was expected from her.

This just couldn’t be true. Hours ago, they had been right here in this room, and Felicity had panicked at the thought of a wedding with Ray Palmer. She had cried. She had been desperate. She had wanted to prevent this from happening more than she had wanted anything else. This wasn’t what she wanted. Nobody changed their minds this drastically within only a day, not when there was so much to lose. Felicity was scared, panicked even, and that was why she was acting weird.

It took a moment until Oliver was able to move again. Sucking in a deep breath, he lifted his hands with the palms towards Felicity like he was showing her that there wasn’t any threat coming from him. He approached her slowly, kneeling down on the floor in front of her and gently stroked his hands up and down the outside of her thighs.

“Felicity, you don’t have to be scared,” Oliver told her, his voice as calm as he was able to manage. “We are going to make it out of here, and everything will be alright. It’s risky, yes, but it will be worth it. I promise you that-“

Felicity shook her head and got up from the bed, starting to walk up and down the room. Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself once more.

“This idea was just crazy,” Felicity explained, shaking her head furiously. “This idea is crazy, and it will kill us both and we just can’t do this. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to Thea or Sara and Nyssa and-“

“Felicity, we have been through this this morning,” Oliver interrupted her frowning. “I talked to them. It’s all okay. There is no reason for us to stay. Let’s go.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Oliver asked back immediately.

“Because I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I just can’t.”

“That is not an answer.”

“I just can’t.”

“Tell me why!” Oliver shouted.

Felicity flinched at the loudness of his voice, looking at him with wide eyes. He regretted the roughness of his tone immediately, holding up his hands in a gesture of defeat and innocence. He had lost his control there for a second, and it shouldn’t have happened. He was just so confused by what was happening here. He really didn’t understand what was happening.

“I am sorry,” he said calmly. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

Felicity looked at him for a moment longer before she lowered her eyes and shuffled her foot. “You have every right to be angry. I know the plan was different, but I just can’t.”

Oliver took in a deep breath. “Please tell me why.”

It took a long moment until Felicity looked at him again. She lowered her eyes again quickly, though, and shrugged her shoulders. With quiet voice she answered, “It’s just not right.”

Oliver watched Felicity quietly, cocking his head. The fact that she couldn’t even look him in the eyes told him that there was something more. Frowning slightly, he took a look around the room to check for anything abnormal. Looking away from Felicity, he went towards the windows and took a look outside. Except for Tommy’s Porsche in the driveway, there was no other car there.

“What are you doing?” Felicity asked.

When Oliver turned around to her, he saw her frowning at him. He released a mixture of a sigh and a dry chuckle, approaching her, before he replied, “Well, since there is no way that you are doing this because you want to, there has to be someone out there watching us or something. Right? Tell me that’s the reason you are doing this.”

There was a moment of silence as Felicity seemed to think about what to say. Then, much sooner than Oliver had hoped because it would have meant that she was lying to soothe him, she stated, “I am not being threatened, Oliver.”

He sucked in a deep breath, processing her words. If that was true, then this was her own decision. These were her insecurities and worries about the future shining through. If that was true, then he’d do anything in his powers to take her insecurities away and convince her that going away with him was the right choice. From the moment he’d fallen in love with Felicity, he had known there was no coming back from that, and he had known that he’d do whatever he could do to protect her from the cruelty of the society they lived in. He wouldn’t stop now that she really needed his protection.

Releasing a long breath through his lips, Oliver tried to get rid of the tension in his shoulders and the rest of his body. He stepped closer to Felicity, wrapping one arm around her waist to keep her against him and lifting the other hand to tug some strands of her hair behind her ear. Felicity looked at him with wide eyes, barely breathing like she was holding onto a last threat of something, maybe self-control or maybe something else. He could feel the rapid beating of her heart against his chest. Within seconds, his heartbeat matched hers. There was a moment of silence as he put his hand to Felicity’s cheek and stroked his thumb over her cheekbone until she finally lifted her gaze to look at him.

“Tell me what’s going on,” Oliver whispered to her, continuing gently stroking his thumb over her cheekbone. “Tell me why you feel this is a bad idea?”

“I just-“ Felicity stopped, looking at him for a moment. She pressed her lips together and sucked in a deep breath before she explained, “I just can’t go with you. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go, though. I know it’s dangerous, but you are right. It might be worth it. You might find someone to-“

Oliver interrupted her with a gentle kiss to her lips. His arm around her waist tightened, pulling her impossibly close against him. How could Felicity even think that he’d just go over to the next girl like nothing had happened? Maybe that was what he would have done before he had known her, but not now. His heart belonged to her.

Felicity released a low tone, somewhat a mixture of a sigh and a grunt, and Oliver could hear the difference to the usual little moan it elicited from her when he was flushed against his body like that. Her hands didn’t come to grab his biceps like she usually did, using them for balance as she straightened up against him and responded to the kiss.

For a moment, Oliver considered breaking the kiss and stepping back from her. He had thought that reminding her of what they had and how safe and loved they felt with each other would be enough to convince her that leaving together was the right thing to do. Her hesitant reaction made him wonder if this was the right way. Maybe this just wasn’t the right tactic to convince her. Maybe it just didn’t reach deep enough.

He should take a step back, give Felicity more room and find the right words to make her know they were doing the right thing here. Of course, it was risky for them and for the people closest to them, but they had been through this before, and together they had decided that this was the right choice. Sighing, Oliver kept his lips against hers for a moment longer, realizing his thoughts were spinning around the same realizations again and again.

Just when Oliver was about to take a step back and put his plans of convincing Felicity with more words into action, she finally melted against him. She released that low moan he had grown used to so much in the last weeks. Her hands cupped the back of his upper arms, stroking his muscles through his leather jacket. As soon as the tip of her tongue touched his bottom lip, Oliver opened up to her. Immediately, Felicity straightened up onto the tip of her toes, deepening the kiss.

Oliver could feel Felicity’s heart rate slowing down, and the rhythm of his heartbeat adjusted to it within seconds. This, holding Felicity close to him and kissing her, was what he wanted and needed. It was what made him happy. For the first time since he had been an innocent child that hadn’t understand the world they lived in, he was really happy. He didn’t want to give up on this. He wanted to keep holding onto this. He wanted to fight for this.

Felicity’s hands traveled from the back of his upper arms to his shoulders and down the front of his chest. She grabbed the lapels of his leather jacket and pushed them aside, tugging the clothing down his arms until it pooled around his elbows. Oliver knew in the back of his mind that they needed to go. There was time for whatever Felicity had in mind once they had passed the border and they could spend days making love to each other in every way they could think about. It was almost impossible resisting Felicity when her body was pressed against his like this, though. Groaning lowly, Oliver let go of her and allowed the jacket to fall to the floor.

Quickly, he wrapped his arms around Felicity’s waist and turned her around, so her back was turned to the bed. He started approaching the bed, walking her backwards until her knees hit the edge of the mattress. Without any hesitation, he put his hands to her hips and lifted her onto the bed, following her onto it immediately. They continued kissing while Oliver was climbing onto the bed between her spread legs, slid off his shoes and then pushed her up the mattress, so she could lie back against the pillows.

Their lips parted and for a moment Oliver chased the touch of her lips. When he couldn’t reach them, he opened his eyes and watched Felicity resting her head back against the pillows. Her hair was spread on the pillows, looking like a halo around her face. She was beautiful, a look of passion and love in her eyes that he’d never get tired of knowing was only for him. Before Felicity, he had never been looked at like this, and he’d like to think that she felt the same intensity of love coming from the way he looked at her.

Oliver got rid of his shirt, pulling it over his head and discarding it on the floor carelessly. Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, watching his body for a long moment. Eventually, she reached out her hand and put it to his stomach. She spread her fingers against his abs, stroking them. The gentle touch of her fingers against the rough tissue of his scar-covered body made a wave of hotness run through his body.

Slowly, Oliver lowered his body onto hers. He touched the side of Felicity’s neck with his lips, brushing them against her pulse point before sliding them further down. Felicity’s legs wrapped around his waist, holding his body to hers as he kissed a path from her neck down her chest to her cleavage. He pressed his nose against her skin, breathing in the sweet scent of her skin before he pressed a kiss to her heart. His hands stroked from her waist down to her outer thighs at the same time.

Oliver tugged the sleeves of her dress down her shoulders, so he could push her neckline further down. Once the delicate lace of her red bra was revealed, Oliver moved his lips against the soft fabric. Felicity’s back arched off the mattress, her body pressing more against his already. Her fingers moved into his hair, holding him to her chest.

“Oliver,” she breathed his name like a prayer.

Unwilling to wait any longer to worship her body the way it deserved to be worshipped, Oliver tugged down the zipper at the side of Felicity’s dress. He tugged the fabric further down until it was pooling around her waist. Felicity unwrapped her legs from around his waist, giving him the chance to slide her dress over her hips down her legs, but Oliver didn’t intent to do so, at least not yet.

He slid a little further down the mattress, brushing his lips against her lower stomach, right over where the dress was pooling. Her skin was hot against his lips, feeling so perfect to him that he had to growl. It seemed to send vibrations through her body as Felicity moaned in response and arched her back even more. Oliver pushed her hips down, keeping her from moving against him the way she wanted to.

“Oliver,” Felicity whispered once more.

He’d never grow tired of hearing her say his name like that. It was why he left a long trail of open-mouthed kissed up her stomach. When he reached the underside of her breasts, he pushed his hands beneath her body. Felicity seemed to know what he was up to, as she arched her back even more, easily allowing him to unclasp her bra. Quickly, she took the fabric off herself and discarded it by carelessly throwing it away.

Felicity framed his face with her hands and pulled him closer until his lips were against hers. Oliver groaned against her lips, opening them to the touch of his tongue, and Felicity granted him entrance willingly. Her tongue stroked against his, her fingers moving back into his hair. When her short fingernails scratched against his scalp, he growled into her mouth. His hips started moving against hers on own accord. He felt himself hardening at the delicious friction. He length started swelling as it pressed against her the zipper of his jeans and the juncture of Felicity’s legs.

It was tempting to lose himself in this. He felt every fiber of his body getting more and more ready to tear off Felicity’s panties and make love to her with slow but firm thrusts. He wanted to increase her pleasure, take her on a wave so high she would claw her fingernails into his back to hold onto him. He wanted to become one with her.

He knew they weren’t there yet, though. Before he wanted to get lost in their pleasure, he wanted to watch her come. He could watch her come over and over again, and it would only add to make it all the better for both of them. He wanted his cock to be so hard that even having him pressed against stretch fabric like the boxer briefs would feel unbearable. If he and Felicity were taking the time to do this despite the threat in the back of their necks, then he wanted to make this good. He didn’t want to think about it like this, but if they got caught, this was the last time they got to have sex. If that was the case, then he wanted it to be great.

He parted his lips from Felicity, propping his upper body up onto his hands. Felicity lifted her head from the pillow to try chasing her lips, but he kept right out of reach. Releasing a somewhat frustrated groan, Felicity wetted her lips with her tongue and bit down on her bottom lip. He knew she was doing that when she tried to keep herself from babbling or from releasing sounds she felt she should keep at bay. It was the way Oliver thought about her the most, with her front teeth buried into her bottom lip and a deep blush spread on her cheek.

Smiling, Oliver kissed her lips once more. He only brushed his lips against hers shortly, though. Lowering his body back onto hers, he started kissing down her jaw and neck to the top of her chest. Smirking against her skin, he let his lips slide down even more until they hovered right over her nipple. It was hardened, peaking up into the empty air. Her erratic breathing made it move up and down quickly, just grazing his stubbled skin. Felicity groaned in frustration, squirming under him, but it didn’t bring the sensitive nubbin any closer to her where he knew she wanted it.

“Oliver,” Felicity pleaded.

Her face was screwed up in pleasure, her eyes clouded with it. She was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling in an erratic rhythm. Her hips were searching for more friction, thrusting up against him. She felt good like that, too good for him to hold onto self-control for too long. Smirking, as he knew he was taking away the little control Felicity had in this moment, he slid further down the bed, lying down on top of Felicity completely and pressing her smaller frame into the soft mattress beneath her.

He knew Felicity was about to complain. Being unable to move had to be poor frustration for her, especially since she couldn’t even heighten her pleasure by rubbing against him. He loved when she was taking control in bed, taking him the way she wanted to. Tonight, it was his job to make her feel good, though. He’d distract her from all her worries and concerns until there was only them.

Without any hesitation, he closed his lips around her hardened nipple, pressing his flat tongue against it and moving it up and down slightly. Felicity arched her back against his tongue as much as his bodyweight on top of him allowed her to. She released a long moan, grabbing his hair and holding him to her breast. The already hard nubbin hardened even more in his mouth. The sensational touch seemed to turn Felicity on. Her hips started squirming beneath him. She didn’t get to move a lot, but at least it seemed to be enough to add to the pleasure his tongue was making her feel.

It didn’t take long until Felicity’s breathing grew even more erratic. She was almost hyperventilating like she was right on the edge of falling apart. Her breasts seemed to be especially sensitive tonight. Oliver opened his eyes, watching Felicity’s face screw up even more in pleasure as he scraped his teeth over her delicate skin. When Felicity released a breathless moan in response, he started sucking at her nipple, pulling it as far into his mouth as possible.

“Oh god,” Felicity whispered.

She was close. Oliver could feel it in the way her body was squirming beneath his and in the way her breathing was getting shorter and quicker with each second. She was so close, yet not close enough to allow him making her fall over the edge. Knowing she needed more than this, Oliver loosened one arm from around her waist and let his hand travel down from her waist over her hip to her lower stomach. His fingertips danced along the waistband of her panties for a few seconds before they snuck beneath the fabric and lowered right to her sex.

He groaned when his fingers drenched with her wetness as he strokes them between her folds. She was so sensitive already, so welcoming of his touch. Her hips thrusted against his fingers, wanting him to reach closer where she needed him, whether it was her entrance or her clit. Oliver kept teasing her, though, continuing moving his fingers along her slit without getting to the most sensitive parts of her body. His tongue mimicked the movements of his fingers, touching her sensitive skin right under her nipple and stroking slowly.

Felicity panted. Her legs had lowered, so they were wrapped around the back of his knees now. They were trembling slightly as she tried to pull him closer, so she could thrust against him. Her hands roamed over his back until she found purchase against his shoulder blades. Her fingernails dug into his skin firmly, telling Oliver she was getting closer to the edge.

He continued the teasing with his tongue and fingers for a moment longer before he finally gave into the desperate thrusts of her hips and sank his fingers into her tight channel. Felicity released a long moan as his fingers were stroking against her swollen walls. Once he had reached deep within her, he curled his fingers inside of her, making Felicity moan out even more loudly. Her fingernails dug even deeper into his skin, so much it almost hurt.

Slowly Oliver started thrusting his fingers in and out of her, making sure he was applying gentle pressure to her walls. His thumb stroked over her clit loosely, teasing it with a touch that was barely there. Felicity released a long moan, her back arching off the mattress against his chest even more.

The sight of her being lost in the pleasure he made her feel turned him on beyond belief. The way Felicity was biting down on her bottom lip to keep herself from releasing the sounds of pleasure was hot. The way her hands and legs were trying to hold himself to her like he was her only anchor in the world suddenly made him realize how much he needed her right now. He needed to hear his name falling from her lips in a moment that she had no control over herself, and he wanted to take off his clothes and her panties and become one with her. His hips thrusted against the mattress on own accord.

Opening his eyes and looking up at her face, Oliver thrust his fingers back inside of her and started sucking at Felicity’s nipple. When her mouth opened in response to that with a breathless choke, he pressed his thumb to her clit.

“Oliver!” his name fell from her lips in a loud shout.

Her body trembled against his violently as the waves of her orgasm were running through every nerve of her. Her fingernails scratched down his back, probably leaving angry red marks that he would carry for a few days before they would fade away. Her inner walls clenched around his fingers firmly, grabbing them and keeping them inside of her.

Once the first waves of her orgasm started fading away, Oliver started stroking his fingers in and out of her slowly, allowing her to ride out the last moments of her pleasure. He rested his chin against the top of her breast, watching the orientation coming back to her life. Her breathing calmed down eventually. Oliver smiled at the sight and lifted his head from her breast to look at her. When he saw the small drop of sweat running down her chest between her breasts, he licked it away before sliding up the bed enough to capture Felicity’s lips in a loving kiss.

Felicity sighed into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and stroking down the path on his back her fingernails had scratched before. Her body moved against his slightly, her still hardened nipples pressing against his chest in a way that made him remember how much he wanted and needed her. He was rocking hard, straining against his boxer briefs. His skin was hot and sweaty, sensitive for her touch.

When he straightened up and sat back on his heels between Felicity’s spread legs, he pulled his fingers out of her wetness and lifted them to his lips. Licking her juices from them appreciatively, he watched Felicity’s eyes grow dark. With a low growl, she sat up in bed too. Her fingers made quick work of the button and zipper of his jeans, lowering his pants just enough, so she could move her fingers beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs and cup his length.

“Oh god, Felicity,” Oliver choked out, letting his head fall back into his neck and squeezing his eyes shut.

Her warm hand felt so great against his hot skin. The gentleness of her touch was the perfect contrast to his hard cock. It relieved some of the tension he had felt building since he had started teasing Felicity. Yet, it only made him want her more. He felt hot and cold at the same time, desperate for more of her and impatient because of the thrill of anticipation.

He framed Felicity’s face with her hands and got back up onto his knees, so he could kiss her. Their mouths opened to each other, their tongues meeting in a slow dance. As desperate as he was for her, and as much as he knew Felicity wanted more after this first taste, they didn’t let the chance of enjoying a long, sensual kiss pass by. Oliver stroked his hands from her shoulders down her arms to where her hand was disappearing in his boxer briefs. She squeezed him once more before Oliver pulled her fingers away. Felicity bit into his bottom lip gently before she broke the kiss, leaning her forehead against his and nuzzling his nose.

“Take off your panties,” Oliver whispered, his voice rough.

Felicity nodded quickly. Unmoving, Oliver watched her fingers hooking into her panties and pulling them down her legs. The fabric was drenched with her wetness he realized and quickly tugged down his jeans and boxer briefs in response. They both had to do some gymnastic wrenches to get out of the last pieces of clothes they were wearing.

Once they had gotten rid of every barrier there was between them, their eyes met again. There was a breathless moment that neither of them spoke. Instead, both of them looked at each other with hunger in their eyes. It was intense, breathtaking, causing Oliver’s heart to rumble in his chest.

Whatever had had happened when he had come here tonight seemed to be a thousand lives away. Everything, all the pain and worries of the future, seemed so far away. Right now, in this very moment, there was no doubt about what they felt for each other or what they wanted. Spending time together and being together was right. It felt right, and it was right. Nothing could ever convince him that this wasn’t true or that Felicity didn’t feel it, too.

Oliver put his hands back to Felicity’s face and kissed her lips. Their tongues met in another slow dance as Oliver gently pushed her back until Felicity was lying back into the pillows. He covers his naked body with hers, resting his body above hers. Felicity wrapped her legs around his hips, opening herself to him. His erection rested against her wet folds, making both of them grow.

For some long moments, they just continued like that. Their lips moved in perfect synch, their tongues meeting again and again in time with the rhythm of their hips meeting each other’s. Felicity’s hands stroked down his back, exploring the scar tissues there. Oliver caressed the sides of her body, gently moving his rough fingertips against her delicate skin. He could feel goosebumps following the path of his touch. Oliver felt himself hardening even more if that was even possible. He was almost painfully hard, and Felicity’s naked body under him didn’t make it any easier. He needed her more with every second.

Oliver moved his hand from her outer hip to between Felicity’s legs. He touched her wet folds, making her moan. She was still wet from her orgasm, welcomingly wet. He didn’t need to ask for Felicity to know what he wanted, and she nodded against his lips, humming her approval.

Oliver grabbed hold of his cock and positioned himself at her entrance. Breaking the kiss, he looked at Felicity. She took a moment before she opened her eyes, too. Her eyes were dark with passion. Oliver stroked a strand of hair out of her face, brushing the knuckles of his hands against her cheekbone. When Felicity smiled at him, giving him that warm smile full of love that was only reserved for him, Oliver smiled back at her.

Eventually, he ducked his head and kissed her lips. At the same time, he thrust his hips forward, entering her in one firm thrust. Felicity gasped for breath. Her eyelids fluttered for a moment, but she fought the urge to close them, continuing looking at him instead. Her lips were opened slightly, heavy breaths escaping them in a quick rhythm. One of her hands moved down from his shoulder over bicep to his forearm, and Oliver grabbed her hand to link her fingers with his.

When Felicity thrust up against him shallowly, using the hold she had on him with her legs wrapped around his hips, Oliver released a heavy breath. Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against Felicity’s, enjoying her warm breath on his face. He took up a slow rhythm, pulling out almost all the way before he pushed back in.

They didn’t kiss. They didn’t look at each other. They didn’t have to, though. Their lips were so close that they were breathing into each other’s mouth. Every now and then, their thrusts made their lips brush together. It was never for long, though, never enough to be even called a kiss. The intimacy of their quiet, unhurried movements was enough for them.

Felicity moaned and angled her hips a little more. It made his cock go deeper, his pelvis rubbing against her clit. She lost the fight against the urge to close her eyes this time, letting them fall shut as a long moan escaped her lips. They were already swollen from kissing, their color deep red. Oliver couldn’t resist and kissed her once more. He thrust harder, making Felicity’s lips open to him with a gasp, and he wasted no time. He stroked his tongue against hers slowly.

When their lips broke eventually, Oliver opened his eyes, looking at her face again. Felicity kept her eyes closed, though. Her lips were still opened, quiet moans falling from them whenever he thrust in. He gently nudged her chin with his nose, and Felicity opened her eyes in response. They were already clouded with lust and pleasure, her gaze unfocused.

Oliver squeezed Felicity’s hand tightly, thrusting even more firmly. He could feel that she was close. Her inner walls were fluttering around him rhythmically, and her back seemed to arch off the mattress more with each of his thrusts.

Soon, Oliver’s thrusts were growing quicker as his own pleasure increased. He could feel the tingling in the back of his spine and held onto Felicity’s hand even more firmly. Lowering his head, so he could rub his nose against hers, he quickened his thrusts once more. He was on the very edge of his control, but he needed her to come first. He wanted to see her come, wanted to hear his name falling from her lips in ecstasy once more.

Felicity changed the positions of her legs, pulling her knees even higher, so she could press the heels of her feet into his butt and encourage his quick thrusts. It only a took a couple more thrusts before Felicity came with a long moan. Her back arched off the mattress so much that her chest pressed against his, and he could feel the spasms running through her body as the pleasure spread through her. While she was clenching around his cock tightly, increasing the friction as he continued thrusting, her fingers tightened around his hand.

Oliver thrust harder and faster, chasing his release. He could feel a drop of sweat running down from the hair at the nape of his back all the way down his back. He was so close, yet not close enough. He needed more, even if he couldn’t say what it was. Groaning, he lowered his head, resting it in the crook of Felicity’s neck and breathing in the scent of her skin.

He had lost all sense for time. He had lost sense for everything but the tingling feeling of his spine and the naked woman beneath him. Felicity’s legs had lowered again not that only some last waves of her pleasure were still running through her. She was panting, her chest heaving with the hurried breaths. Her hand was still holding onto his tightly, her free hand stroking over his back in slow movements until it moved over his shoulder and the side of her neck to his cheek. Pushing her fingers under his chin, she made him look up at her.

Oliver panted heavily, looking at Felicity’s face. She was so beautiful in this moment, her eyes so full of love for him. It made his heart stumble in his chest for a few beats before it started racing once more.

Felicity stroked her thumb through his short stubble, focusing on his face, as she whispered, “Oliver.”

That was all he needed, her whisper of his name. With a long moan, his fingers tightening around hers so much he was almost worried he was breaking them, he came. His hips stuttered in their rapid thrusts until they came to a stop as he spilled into her. Her name fell from his lips in a hoarse whisper. His body was trembling as the waves of pleasure ran through him, taking him away into a frenzy.

His eyes stayed locked on Felicity’s until he felt the last waves of his pleasure fading. He quickly lowered his head to kiss Felicity, capturing her lips in a hungry, messy kiss. His arms wrapped around her, pushing under her back and holding her to him as he turned onto his back and took her with him, so she was lying on top of his body now.

They kept kissing as their heartbeats slowed down. Oliver stroked his fingers over her spine, enjoying the goosebumps that spread there. When Felicity broke the kiss, propping herself up onto her forearms to look at him, he smiled and tugged at a strand of her hair playfully. Felicity smiled in response.

“Hey,” Oliver whispered.

Felicity chuckled, dropping her head to the side of his neck for a moment, and kissed his pulse point. When she looked back up at him, her smile was even wider.

“Hi,” she replied.

Oliver lifted his head off the pillow and kissed her gently, putting all of his emotions into this one kiss. When their lips parted, he gently stroked the knuckles of his hands over her cheek.

“Everything alright again?” he asked.

As soon as he had asked the question, there was an expression of hesitation on Felicity’s face. Quickly, Oliver kissed her once more, taking away whatever doubts she may have. When he rested his head back on the pillows, Felicity gave him a tired smile. She rested her head against his chest, her fingers playing with his.

“Everything alright,” she replied eventually.

Oliver released a sigh of relief, kissing the crown of Felicity’s head and wrapping his arm back around her. He had known that everything would be okay again.

“We are going to leave tomorrow,” Oliver explained to her. “One day more or less is not going to change anything.”

Felicity nodded, not saying a word. He knew she was tired. He could feel her eyelashes brushing against his chest as she blinked again and again. Oliver kissed the top of her head once more.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Just sleep.”

“I should go to the bathroom,” Felicity replied, trying to get up.

Oliver rolled them around quickly, pushing Felicity into the mattress. He kissed the top of her breast, her neck and her chin before he whispered, “I’ll go. I’m back in a second.”

He quickly rolled out of bed and hurried to the en-suite bathroom. He grabbed one of the washcloths from the cabinet and cleaned himself up. Then he grabbed another washcloth and wetted it, taking it to the bedroom.

As soon as he stepped back into the bedroom, he frowned at what he saw. Felicity was lying in bed, the blanket pulled over her naked body. She had pushed one arm under her head, staring at the ceiling with an expression of deep brooding.

“Hey,” he whispered.

Felicity flinched slightly, but quickly put on a smile and looked at him. Seeing the washcloth in his hands, she reached out her arm and Oliver handed her the wet fabric. Without lifting the blanket off her, Felicity wiped away the remains of their sex from between her legs. Then she threw the washcloth into the bathroom where it landed on the floor.

Oliver waited a moment longer before he crawled back into bed with her. He slipped under the blanket next to her, lying down on his side, and pulling Felicity against his chest. His lips found hers in a gentle, reassuring kiss. His hand stroked up and down her spine until he felt her melting against him.

“I know you are scared,” Oliver whispered to her, looking at her with honesty, “but you don’t have to be. In less than forty-eight hours, this will all be over. We will be together and safe, and we will leave all of this behind.”

Felicity looked at him, taking in a deep breath. “Do you think this place will ever change? Do you think it will ever be safe here?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I hope so. I doubt it, though. This country is too far gone for it to be saved easily, and we are just two little wheels in the system, nobody who would be able to change anything.”

“Yeah, probably,” Felicity whispered, nodding her head slowly.

“I know it would be nice if it was different, and we could be the heroes of this story. This is just a thousand times too much for us to fix, and it’s far too dangerous for us to stay here and even try it. “Oliver pecked her lips once more and wrapped his arms around her more tightly. He stroked his hand over her hair soothingly, wishing things were different. “You should sleep now. Tomorrow will be an exhausting day. You should catch some rest.”

Felicity nodded, resting her head under his chin. “I love you.”

Oliver kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes with a tired smile. “I love you too.”

 

 

When Oliver woke up to the warmth of the sun tickling his face, he sighed contently. For a moment, he wondered what was wrong until he realized that Felicity’s body warmth he had grown so familiar to over the last weeks was missing. Frowning, he turned onto his side and reached out his arms to pull Felicity back closer to him as she must have rolled away from him during the night. Yet, all his fingers touched was the cold sheet. Frowning, Oliver blinked his eyes open. The mattress was empty. Felicity wasn’t there.

“Felicity?” Oliver said out loud, but no answer came. His frown deepened. “Felicity?”

Rubbing his hands over his face to chase away the last of the tiredness, he sat up in bed and pushed the blanket away. Listening into the house to any sounds that told him where Felicity was, he got out of bed. The house was completely silent. Oliver shot a look into the bathroom. When he found that Felicity wasn’t there, he left the bedroom and headed towards the living area, but again Felicity wasn’t there.

“Felicity?” he called out, a little more loudly now. Yet, he didn’t get an answer.

Oliver was just about to go back to the bedroom and find his phone to call Felicity when he noticed the small notepad on the kitchen counter with the red pen put across it. He couldn’t say why, but something about it looked so posed to him that he went over to check. Indeed, he found a little note, written in Felicity’s handwriting.

For a second, he thought she had left him a note to tell him that she was getting them breakfast or something like that. Once he got closer and actually got to read the note that thought was proved wrong. Oliver had read the note five times already when he grabbed the notepad to read the note once more like the written words would magically change if he just looked closer.

They didn’t change and they didn’t make any more sense for Oliver. Frowning, he looked around like he could find any hint that all of this was just a terrible misunderstanding. He opened some cupboards, hoping to find anything that would help him understand. When he opened the trashcan, desperate as he was, he found some more pages from the notepad. They had been balled up and discarded.

He took them out, smoothing and reading them one by one.

~~_ There is no apolo _ ~~

~~_ I don’t _ ~~

~~_ Just forget me and _ ~~

It didn’t make any more sense, at least not to him. Oliver knew something was wrong here. Something was very wrong here actually. He didn’t know what it was yet, but he’d find out. This couldn’t be true. Oliver read Felicity’s message to him once more, shaking his head. He wouldn’t accept it. He hadn’t accepted it yesterday, and he wouldn’t accept it now.

Felicity wasn’t gone. This wasn’t over. They weren’t over. He had fought yesterday, and he’d fight again and again no matter how many times she got scared and doubted this. Once they were safe, this would all be forgotten. Until then, he’d have to find ways to chase her fears away for longer than he had managed last night. If that meant he didn’t get to sleep until they were in Mexico, then so be it.

Oliver took in a deep breath, closing his eyes. He had to find Felicity before her fear would take over even more than it had already. The longer her fear had time to grow, the worse it would get. He took the note with him when he hurried to the bedroom to get dressed and head out to search for Felicity even though her written words still left a bitter taste in his mouth. They echoed through his thoughts again and again like Felicity had actually said them to him. The more often he heard them, the more the worry that maybe they were true buried into his heart, no matter how hard he tried to avoid this.

_ I’m sorry. I can’t. _


	9. What becomes of the brokenhearted

When Oliver pushed open the doors to Verdant, the head of every crew member turned towards him. They were all gathered around the stage, Tommy standing at the edge of it. If the slightly confused expressions on their faces were any indication, Tommy had probably just announced to them that Oliver was no longer actively leading the club anymore.

“Did any of you see Felicity Smoak in the last twelve hours?”

“The lady of Smoak Technologies that hosted her meeting with Wayne Enterprise here?” Roy, one of their barkeepers, asked.

Oliver nodded, feeling his heart stumble in his chest at the hope that maybe he had seen her. “Did you see her?”

Roy shook his head. “Not since that party I think.”

“Anyone else?” Oliver asked, his voice brusque at the newly destroyed hope. The rest of the crew exchanged insecure gazes, but they all shook their heads, making Oliver groan. “Great.”

Without another word to them, he turned around and headed to the bar. He stalked behind the counters, carelessly threw the keys for Tommy’s Porsche on top of it and grabbed a bottle of vodka. He looked at the label for a long moment, considering just pouring himself a large glass and downing it in one go. It would definitely help with his nerves, but Oliver guessed it was better to have a clear head. Constantly being torn between desperation, anger and utter confusion was clouding his judgement as much as he could bear right now. He shouldn’t add alcohol to the mix and make it even harder to focus, so he released a long breath, grabbed a bottle of water and took some gulps.

When Tommy came hurrying towards him, Oliver turned around, leaning against the edge of the counter and squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn’t really ready to talk to anyone yet. He knew he probably shouldn’t have come to Verdant in that case, but he also hadn’t known where else to go. He hadn’t even really believed that he would find Felicity here. All he had needed was a minute to think. When he realized his thumb was rubbing against the other fingertips nervously, he clenched his hand to a fist.

“What happened?” Tommy asked urgently, coming around the counter to Oliver. “You and Felicity should have started your new life by now.”

“We should,” Oliver replied and pressed his lips together, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “We really should.”

Tommy kept staring at him, wordlessly asking what had happened. Oliver wished he’d have a satisfying answer to that, but the truth was that he had no idea. He didn’t know what had happened. While he had been driving around the city for the past five hours, looking everywhere for Felicity, he had asked himself this question over and over again. The truth was that he didn’t know what had happened, and he didn’t even have a good guess which only made it more complicated. Was he supposed to worry about Felicity, or was he supposed to be angry with her?

When Tommy continued staring at him, Oliver sighed and explained, “She disappeared, and I have been looking everywhere for her, but I can’t find her.”

Tommy frowned. “What do you mean ‘she disappeared’?”

Oliver rubbed his thumb against his fingertips once more, almost furiously this time. Whenever he thought about what had happened, going through every detail of what had happened since she had received that terrible letter yesterday, he felt himself getting nervous. Remembering the panic in her eyes when she had realized who she was supposed to get married to always made him forget the stupid message she had left him. It made him forget all doubts and give him the certainty he needed to know that Felicity had to be unbelievably scared. That and only that was the reason why she had run away from him.

She couldn’t stay here and get married to Ray Palmer without getting hurt. She couldn’t stay here and not get married to Ray Palmer without getting executed. Running away included the risk of getting caught, though. The chances that they would make it out of here without being caught were minimal, but at the end of the day it was their only chance to live a life of freedom. Felicity was scared, and he understood that, even if he wished she’d share her fear with him instead of hiding from him.

Unless she wasn’t hiding from him. The thought had crossed his mind time and time again since he had woken up this morning. Would Felicity really run away from him? Where would she go that she couldn’t take him with her? She had told him she loved him, and Oliver believed that she had meant it. She had no reason to run away from him when he would willingly give up everything to be with her.

“Something is wrong,” Oliver finally said, turning to his friend. “I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what happened, but something is wrong. When I arrived at her home last night, she was… she was different. She said she couldn’t go. I tried to convince her that running away together was our only chance. I actually thought I had convinced her, but when I woke up this morning, she was suddenly gone.”

“Gone?” Tommy asked.

“She left a note, telling me she can’t do this and is nowhere to be found,” Oliver explained. “I have been everywhere. I have been at her company. I have talked to her friends. I even got Lyla to call her mom and her friends in Austria.”

“And?”

“Nothing. Nobody has seen her or heard from her since she said goodbye to them. According to Lyla, Felicity was determined to leave with me. She wanted to go. Now, all of a sudden, she leaves without telling me or anyone else a good reason. Nobody knows why she changed her mind or where she went. It’s like the earth just swallowed her whole.” Oliver released a long breath and moved his hands over his face almost violently, trying to chase away the tiredness all the emotional exhaustion had left him with. “What if someone from the government took her?”

“Right from where she has been in bed next to you?” Tommy asked doubtingly. “That doesn’t seem to make much sense.”

“Maybe she was… pressurized into leaving,” Oliver suggested, desperate to find answers. “It’s just… I just can’t picture her doing this if she wasn’t forced.”

It was the same thoughts over and over again. Of course, the note she had left him sounded like she had decided this on her own, but Oliver refused to believe that. The Felicity he had gotten to known and fallen in love with did not support the political system. During the time he had gotten to know her, she had started to rebel against the laws, even if she had only done so quietly by not letting her fears get in the way of dating him. She would not let herself be forced into a life at the side of someone like Ray Palmer if the lives of her loved ones weren’t on the line.

Oliver frowned. Maybe that was the key. Maybe someone had threatened to hurt her mother or the Diggles or maybe even him if she didn’t toe the line. The government couldn’t afford to have the engagement of their most promising politician threatened by disobedience. They wanted good promotion, not because they feared the results of the election next year, but because they wanted to improve their international reputation. Celebrating the successful wedding of a politician would be exactly what they needed to present the party and its laws in the proper light.

A cold shiver ran down the length of Oliver’s spine, and he quickly shook his head. He would have to hope that Felicity had just become scared and was trying to find her way out on her own in an unnecessary attempt to protect him from giving up his life here. The thought of her being forced anywhere near Ray Palmer was just too scaring. He didn’t even dare thinking about what they’d possibly do to her.

Oliver took another few gulps of the water and grabbed the keys. “I will head out and continue-“

When the doors to the club were pushed open loudly, Oliver and Tommy both turned around. Laurel was hurrying towards them with quick steps. The sounds of her heels meeting the concrete floor echoed through the wide room.

“Have you guys seen the news?” she asked.

“No. Why?” Oliver asked back immediately. If Laurel’s unsurprised reaction to his presence here was any indication, she had already known that he and Felicity hadn’t left as planned. Oliver felt his heart stop beating. This just couldn’t mean anything good, and currently he felt the opposite of  _ good _  wasn’t  _ bad _  but more like  _ disastrous _  or  _ catastrophic _  or something like that. “Is this about Felicity?”

Laurel nodded, an ominous expression on her face. She pulled a tablet out of her purse and handed it over to Oliver. “Watch this.”

Oliver’s hands were almost trembling as he took the tablet from her. His heart dropped down to his stomach as soon as he realized what there was to expect from the video at hand. It had been published on the website of the local news channel.  _ Ray Palmer getting married to business icon Felicity Smoak  _ was the title to the article, making Oliver’s stomach clench painfully.

He guessed there was no reason for him to continue searching Felicity. She had already been found. Oliver took in a deep breath, trying to overcome the bad feeling in his chest. His hands were almost trembling as he lifted it to start playing the video. When Tommy leaned over, Oliver held the tablet closer to him, so they could watch it together.

Attended with photos and video sequences of Ray Palmer, a female reporter explained, “The White House has reason to celebrate. According to an official statement this morning, United States Secretary of Energy Ray Palmer has just gotten engaged to Starling City resident Felicity Smoak, founder and owner of the multibillion-dollar-corporation Smoak Technologies.”

The pictures changed to the stairs in front of the court building here in Starling. Ray Palmer was standing behind a lectern, smiling into the cameras widely. Oliver was distracted by the woman at his side, though. Felicity was standing right next to him, wearing a black pencil skirt and white blouse that didn’t seem like her style at all, at least the colors. Her hair was put in a strict bun he had never seen her wear. Her face was a little pale, but there was a shy smile playing on her pink lips. Oliver watched her carefully, trying to notice every change in her face and every movement she made.

“We are both very happy,” Palmer stated as flashlights of the cameras were hailing down on him. He shot Felicity a short look, and after a moment of hesitation, she smiled back at him. “Felicity and I are both very interested in technology and share some other interests as well as life philosophy which is really important.”

_ Share some other interests and life philosophy _ . The words echoed through Oliver’s head again and again. He highly doubted that Felicity would ever have the same life philosophy as Ray Palmer. Felicity was a good person. She believed in making choices for oneself, and she believed in real love that couldn’t be found on a paper, but only in the hearts.

“I am very excited about this new chapter in my life,” Felicity now said. “I know there are a lot of responsibilities coming my way, but I am sure that with time I will be ready to face them, especially since I know that I have Ray’s full support just as he has mine.”

The video changed back to the reporter, who explained, “Palmer and Smoak were brought together by the Ministry of Procreation. While Smoak stated that she received her letter only twenty-four hours ago, Palmer admitted that he had asked for a heads-up to plan the engagement and wedding already. With his high-ranking political position, he was granted this advantage. That way he had been able to visit his wife-to-be soon after she had received the news. Despite both working with technology and Smoak Technologies being pioneer in alternative energy technologies, Smoak and Palmer didn’t know each other personally until yesterday. In a short telephone interview this morning, President Clincher stated that the engagement proved once more that the systemized marriages were working and helping to ease life choices. Critics of the legislation all over the world have commented for years that the marriage laws in the US are unconstitutional.”

“We are trying to get to know each other,” Palmer stated again now. “It’s a new situation for the both of us, but we do believe that together we can face it and make it work. We trust in the law that led us together and-“

Oliver switched off the tablet, unable to bear this crap any longer. He put the tablet to the countertop and started pacing up and down nervously. Moving a hand through his hair, he scratched his scalp firmly. All of this had to be a bad dream. He felt like he was caught in a nightmare, knowing exactly that none of this was real, but unable to wake up from it.

Felicity was with Ray, planning their wedding like it was the most normal thing for her to do. If Felicity was engaged to anyone else, Oliver might have considered that she had just fallen head over heels in love with the man she was supposed to get married to. Part of him wished it was that because it would mean that Felicity would have a happy life ahead of her. He would be beyond happy for her if that was true, even though it would break his heart. She was getting married to Ray Palmer, though, and there was no way she had fallen in love with a guy like him. Besides, she would have told him if that was why she had left him.

There was just no doubt, now more than ever, that Felicity was being forced to do this. He didn’t know what was used against her, if it was the wellbeing of her loved ones or maybe her own freedom given the fact that she had betrayed the law by dating him and by still having contact to Curtis and Paul. It didn’t matter anyway.

“We have to get her out of there,” Oliver stated, coming to a sudden stop. He turned around to Tommy and Laurel, looking at them urgently. “We can’t let her do this. We can’t let this happen to her. We have to do something.”

 

 

Oliver felt like his head was going to explode. There was a throbbing pain right behind his eyes, making it hard to focus on anything else. His friends’ voices sounded like background noises that were only making his headache worse. Inevitably, Oliver had to think back to the last time he had had a terrible headache like this, the night he had first met Felicity.

He had been so moody that night, like so many nights before too. Then he had found Felicity down in the basement of the club, and she had been so beautiful and so lovely. Maybe he hadn’t realized it right there, but looking back meeting her had changed his entire life. He had never been happier than when he had been with her. He had never enjoyed life more than when he had been with her.

The downside to all the joy she had brought was that losing her seemed to have left a void that was even darker than the life he had lived before he had met her. Everything seemed so much darker now that he knew what life was like if you could share it with someone you truly loved. It had only been ten hours since he had woken up to an empty bed and a short goodbye letter to him, and he already felt the void Felicity had left.

There had been a lot happening in the last ten hours, though. After the news about Felicity’s official engagement with Palmer, more and more snippets about their future had been brought to light. A close friend to Palmer, as it had been said in an article, had revealed that Palmer had bought a mansion here in Starling and that Felicity had already moved in with him. A moving company had been ordered to make sure she’d get the necessary stuff from her own home there. Apart from that, the White House had released a list of occasions that their new power couple was going to attend together.

All of this still felt like a nightmare to Oliver. Just some hours ago he had been the happiest man alive, nervous about the dangers of the future but excited for the prospect of starting a new and safer life with the woman he loved. Now, it seemed like everything had fallen to ashes.

At the same time, Oliver was feeling like he was drowning in a mixture of emotions that he couldn’t quite grasp. He knew he was worried about what was happening to Felicity right now. He also knew that he was disappointed and angry with himself because he had, even if just for a short time, believed that she had run from him voluntarily. There were some more emotions seething in his chest that changed minutely. The feeling that was the strongest right now was helplessness, though. After a long fight between the thirst for action and the uncertainty of what to do, the latter had taken over and left him with a tiredness and hopelessness that seemed to reach deep into his bones.

Absentmindedly, Oliver listened to what his friends and family were discussing. For the last two hours, they had tried to find a way to help Felicity out of the situation she seemed to be caught in, but there was nothing anyone felt they could do. The more information about Felicity’s connection with Palmer were revealed, the more it felt like Felicity was completely under their control.

Oliver squeezed his eyes shut. He knew he needed to get a hold on himself. If he got lost in his worries about Felicity, he’d only fasten the ties that seemed to immobilize him even more. He could still beat himself up for not trusting Felicity and her feelings for him once he had gotten her out of there.

When he felt a small hand on his back, Oliver flinched slightly. He turned his head around to see Thea standing next to him. She was casting him a comforting smile.

“I know it’s a stupid question, but is everything alright?” she asked.

“Just a headache,” Oliver replied.

He shot a look back over his shoulder where John, Lyla, Sara, Nyssa, Laurel and Tommy were still discussing what to do to help Felicity. They had been going round in circles because nobody had any good ideas. Lyla and John had tried to call Felicity, but all calls went right to voicemail.

“We are going to find a way,” Thea whispered, gently stroking her hand over his back. “It might take some time-“

“Time that they might hurt her,” Oliver replied. He felt his throat burning at the words. “Thea, they could physically and emotionally hurt her. As long as she isn’t married to Palmer, I guess she is safe from... but once they get married… I can’t let her stay there. If I could, I would just go there and-“

“That would only endanger Felicity more,” John said.

Oliver hadn’t realized how loud his voice had gotten until he saw that his friends had stopped their discussion and were staring at him now. Slowly, John got up and approached him. For the first time Oliver really understood what Felicity had meant when she had told him that John was radiating calmness that seemed to touch everyone around. Oliver sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm down the storm that was threatening to build back up in him.

“We need to talk to Felicity,” he stated. “That’s the priority right now.”

“That’s kind of difficult as long as she doesn’t answer her phone,” Oliver replied, trying not to sound too angry. “Maybe they took her phone and-“

“It’s better we talk to her in person anyway,” John replied, “which is why I think that we should wait for her in front of Smoak Tech tomorrow evening. Even if the party tries to keep Felicity under their total control, they won’t risk bad headlines about her neglecting her company. Felicity’s professional success was one of the main focuses of the news after all. Since they probably won’t allow her to let us in when we make an appointment, we will just head her off when she’s on her way to head home.”

Oliver opened his mouth to reply, but he closed his lips without having said a single word. That plan was great. It was the first glimpse of hope today.

“That’s a good plan,” Oliver stated.

“Right now, it’s our only chance,” John replied, “so we should completely focus on that. We will have to think about what to say to her and-“

“I will talk to her,” Oliver interrupted him. “I will do that.”

“I think we should all go and see her,” Sara suggested. “If we show up all together and-“

“No.” Oliver shook his head. “I will do this alone. If someone can convince her that she has to fight, it’s me.”

“Are you sure?” Tommy asked. “Maybe it was better if we all went there and told her we supported your decision and-“

“I’ll do it,” Oliver simply repeated once more. He grabbed his phone from the couch table and said, “I’ll be right back.”

He quickly went upstairs into his bedroom and closed the door behind him. At the sight of the bed, he shortly thought back to all the times he had made love to Felicity there. They had spent so many nights enjoying each other in every way possible.

Oliver took in a deep breath and shook his head. He needed to focus. Oliver sat down on the edge of the mattress quickly and dialed Felicity’s number. Just like during the couple of time Lyla and John had tried to call her or the dozens of times he had tried calling her before, the call went straight to voicemail.

“Hey, Felicity, it’s me,” Oliver said once the recording started. “Uhm… I am not sure if you even get this call, but I really hope so. I… uhm… Well, first I guess I need to apologize because, for a moment, I doubted you. I didn’t believe in you or in us and what we have, and I am really sorry for that. I want you to know that it will never happen again.”

He felt his chest easing a little now that he had said it. He knew it wasn’t the apology she deserved. Since he wasn’t even sure that she would hear this apology at all, the apology was more for him than it was for Felicity. He needed to apologize now because he needed to know that he had said it. Once Felicity was back in his arms, he’d apologize to her the way she deserved it.

Oliver hesitated. He wanted to tell Felicity that he loved her and that he’d come for her, but he wasn’t sure if she was still listening to her voicemail or if this line was safe any longer. What he had said before was open for interpretation and nothing they could use against her or that Felicity couldn’t make up excuses for. They probably knew she had been dating him already since Palmer had known about their engagement before Felicity had, but in case they had missed this about Felicity, Oliver didn’t want to put her in any danger.

Instead of saying anything, he just stayed silent on the phone. He hoped that he would hear the thousand unsaid words he felt for her and he wanted to tell her even when he couldn’t say them out loud. He just hoped that their connection was strong enough for something like that.

“It would be great if you could call me back or send me a text, so I will know that you are okay,” Oliver said eventually. “Bye.”

Oliver hung up and squeezed his eyes shut. He’d go to Smoak Tech to see Felicity tomorrow. He’d talk to her and remind her that running away was their only chance, and if she was too scared, he’d do everything to take that fear from her. Everything would be okay again. He knew it would.

 

For the first time in his life, Oliver actually wished that he was a smoker. It would probably relax him a little if he could smoke right now because this seemed to be the perfect moment for a cigarette to relieve stress.

He hadn’t slept a wink last night. Instead, he had rolled from one side to the other for hours until he hadn’t been able to take it any longer. He had gone out, intending to just take a walk and clear his head. It hadn’t been enough, though, so he had started running. Oliver didn’t know how long he had been running or which way he had taken. All he knew was that when he had come back home, he had been exhausted. Yet, he still hadn’t been able to sleep.

Oliver shot a short look at his watch. Felicity should come out any second. She usually left work at this time if she didn’t have any late appointments. Oliver doubted that she’d have any late appointments given that she hadn’t been supposed to be here in the first place. She had certainly canceled all her appointments Oliver thought with a smile. She was that reliable and that-

Oliver’s thoughts came to a sudden stop when the doors to Smoak Technologies opened and Felicity stepped outside. She was looking more like herself than she had in the news video he had seen of her. She was wearing a purple dress with a triangle cutout right at the top of her breasts, and her hair was in her usual high ponytail.

When Felicity saw him, there was a moment of hesitation. Her movements became slower, and she took in a deep breath, straightening her shoulders. Within the break of a second she had caught herself again, though.

“Felicity.”

“You should go.”

Ignoring her words, he approached her quickly. Since Felicity continued walking like he wasn’t there, he stepped right in front of her and started walking backwards. Felicity looked at him for a moment, her lips pursed, before she lowered her gaze to the floor. He shortly noticed that her thumb was rubbing against the other fingers, the nervous tick she must have adapted from him, but he was distracted by the giant diamond ring on her finger. Palmer must have given it to her to show everyone that she was engaged. There was a painful stitch of hurt at the sight of the ring, but he pushed it away. Now was not the time for this.

“Felicity, listen to me,” he said urgently, keeping his voice down and gentle. “You don’t have to do this. Whatever they are using against you, we can handle it. We will find a way to get out of here safely without any of our loved ones getting hurt. Everything is going to be okay. There is no reason for you to be scared or-“

“I am not scared,” Felicity interrupted him, suddenly looking at him again. Her steps became slower once more until she stood still. She shook her head slightly, shrugging her shoulders. “I am not scared, and I am not doing this out of fear.”

Oliver took another step towards her. For a second, he thought Felicity would take a step back and bring back the distance between them, but she stood still and just looked at him. He put his hands to her shoulders, gently stroking his thumbs over her collarbone.

“Felicity,” he whispered, his voice hoarse, “everything is going to be alright. Just come with me. Let’s make our plans come true. Let’s start our life together.”

Felicity sighed, and the expression on her face made Oliver frown. She didn’t look like she was about to cry and collapse, telling him that she couldn’t because everyone she loved was at risk. She almost looked a little annoyed.

“Felicity,” he whispered once more like saying her name was the key to get through to her.

“I am going to get married to Ray, Oliver,” Felicity told him nonetheless. Her voice was firm, her eyes showing no sign of insecurity. She put her fingers around his wrists and pushed his hands away from her shoulders. “What we had was nice. I don’t even want to deny that. You gave me what I needed at that time, but that’s over now. Ray and I are getting married. It’s the right thing to do.”

She put her hand to his cheek and gently stroked her fingertips through his stubble for a second before she walked past him. Oliver was paralyzed. He felt unable to move, Felicity’s words echoing through his mind. He felt his chest tightening at the thought that she was serious, quickly shook it off, though. He had sworn himself not to doubt Felicity anymore, so he wouldn’t.

With a couple of large steps, he had caught back up to her. Felicity seemed to walk faster suddenly, so Oliver quickly grabbed her wrist and turned her around to her. Her eyes widened in shock and for a second, Oliver feared she was scared of him. Only a second later, the certainness in her eyes returned, an almost defiant expression forming on her face.

“Felicity, we-“

When a black stretched limousine stopped right next to them, Oliver shortly lost his focus. He turned his head and looked at the vehicle. A tall, muscled man got out from the passenger side.

“Ms. Smoak, I think it’s time,” he told her. He took a closer look at the scene in front of him before he pushed his hip forward a little, revealing the gun he had and asked, “Do you need help, Ms. Smoak?”

Felicity looked back at Oliver for a moment, pulling her wrist from his tight hold. She looked at him with an unyielding expression in her eyes when she answered the man who was probably her bodyguard, “Thank you, but everything's alright. I will be ready in a second.”

Oliver watched the bodyguard getting back into the car before he turned back to Felicity. He felt the need to grab her and shake her like that was helping her getting back to herself. Knowing that it wasn’t going to help either of them though, he held up his hands.

“I am sorry,” he said honestly. “I-“

“I have to go now,” Felicity told him. She took in a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and lifted her gaze. “Ray and I are picking the menu for our wedding.”

He wasn’t sure if it was the words themselves, the cold tone of her voice or the combination of both, but Oliver’s stomach twisted painfully. She couldn’t be serious. She couldn’t be planning this wedding with someone like Palmer, especially when she loved Oliver and he knew she loved him.

When Felicity turned towards the car, Oliver held her back once more. Again, he put his hand around her wrist and turned her back around to him. His touch was even lighter than before, though. He didn’t want to hurt her. He just wanted her to stay and hear him out.

“Felicity, whatever it is, we can deal with it. You just have to give me a sign that I have to get you out of there.”

For a long moment, Felicity didn’t reply. With held breath and racing heart, Oliver watched her face, searching for any sign that she was trying to indicate him something was wrong. Her eyes only turned cold, though. Slowly she pulled her wrist out of his touch and took a step back, creating some distance between them.

“There is nothing to deal with, and there is no signal needed because I don’t want to get out of this,” she told him with firm voice that barely sounded like her. “I will get married to Ray because it’s the right thing to do. It’s law after all. As for what has been between us, it’s like I told you. You were what I needed during that time, but it was never meant to be a long-lasting thing. I know I told you I loved you, but I didn’t know what love was at that time. It was stupid, and I was impressed by your courage to disobey the law. I mistook a crush for love, and I am sorry for letting you believe there could be anything more between us. It’s over, and you need to accept that.”

Oliver was unable to breathe. His lungs were burning with need for more oxygen, but he just couldn’t take in a single breath. He stared at Felicity like he was waiting for her to start laughing, fling her arms around his neck and tell him it was all a joke. It was the only way this seemed to make sense. Yet, the hard expression on Felicity’s face didn’t soften. She continued looking at him almost angrily.

“Felicity, I-“

Felicity didn’t listen. She turned around, headed to the car and got into it without looking back, leaving Oliver at the sidewalk with a heavy heart and a thousand questions on his mind. Oliver didn’t know what to think anymore. All he knew was that woman was not the woman he had fallen in love with. Felicity would have never broken his heart like that and leave him like this. Felicity had loved him, she still loved him, and she would have never done something like this to him. The person he had just talked to had done all of this, though, and Oliver had no idea who that person was.

 

 

_ There is nothing to deal with, and there is no signal needed because I don’t want to get out of this. _

Oliver poured himself another glass of Russian vodka, filling it up to the rim. Without any hesitation, he lifted the glass to his lips and took some gulps. The liquid burned down his throat, and Oliver tried to convince himself that the tears that were falling were a result of the alcohol instead of the aching feeling in his chest.

_ I will get married to Ray because it’s the right thing to do. It’s law after all. _

His stomach twisted painfully at the thought of how cold she had looked. Oliver wished he doubted how well he actually knew Felicity. If he doubted that he knew her inside and outside, it would make it easier because he could tell himself that there was still a chance she hadn’t meant it. He didn’t doubt how well he knew her, and he hadn’t seen any insecurity in her eyes. He had just seen a coldness and certainty he had never seen in her eyes.

_ As for what has been between us, it’s like I told you. You were what I needed during that time, but it was never meant to be a long-lasting thing. _

Oliver poured himself another glass of vodka, once more downing it in one go. It had been going that way since he had come back from seeing Felicity or the shell of a woman that was left of her. He had put all his hope in seeing her again. He had hoped that everything would make sense after seeing her again, but Oliver had just been left with more questions than before.

What had happened to Felicity? What had happened to the woman he had fallen in love with, the woman that had been nervous to go against the law, but that had gathered all her courage because she had wanted to take her life into her own hands? Where had that woman go? What had they done to her?

Once he had progressed his hurt and the feeling of betrayal and heartbreak, Oliver would have to think about how to help her. Even if she had meant everything she had said to him, he still loved her too much to just let her go into a life like that. He’d continue trying to convince her not to do it, and he’d still keep an eye on her if she was married, making sure he was there if she finally realized she needed help. He’d do that as soon as he had processed what had happened today.

_ I know I told you I loved you, but I didn’t know what love was at that time. It was stupid, and I was impressed by your courage to disobey the law. I mistook a crush for love, and I am sorry for letting you believe there could be anything more between us. It’s over, and you need to accept that. _

Oliver felt a sob rising in his throat as new tears rolled down his cheeks. He wished he had never fallen in love. He wished he had never known what a happy life with someone he truly loved was like. It would hurt less now.

He had imagined a life with Felicity. He had imagined living with her. He had planned on spending every day with her, holding her hand in public without any worry that they would be caught. He had dreamed about so many things, imagining a perfectly normal life for them. Now, they didn’t even have their secret relationship anymore.

When the door to the loft opened, Oliver lifted his glass once more. He pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, keeping his gaze directed in front of him. His eyes screwed up in annoyance at the happy laughter of his wife and her girlfriend. They fell silent as soon as they saw him, though.

“Oliver?” Nyssa asked quietly.

While Sara stayed at the door, watching him from afar, Nyssa came closer to him. She pushed the barstool next him aside to give her some room. She took one of his hands in both of his, looking at him sympathetically. Yet, Oliver didn’t look back at her. He couldn’t bear looking at her right now, knowing that she was with the woman she loved, even if only a secret. It wasn’t fair to her, but right now he was even more jealous than he had been before he had met Felicity.

“What happened?” Nyssa asked him, squeezing his hand comfortingly. “Is Felicity okay?”

“She’s great,” Oliver replied, not caring that his voice was slurring slightly. “She’s happy, excited for this new stage of her life. She picked out the menu for the wedding today. I am sure it’s going to be great.”

The words were bitter, and Oliver almost spit them out. He couldn’t help himself, though. He felt bitter. He felt bitter and angry and sad and a thousand other things that he tried to drown in the vodka, without much success unfortunately.

“Don’t you want to say anything?” Oliver asked. “You were against me dating in the first place since it could put your dates with Sara in danger. This is kind of good news for you, isn’t it? Everything can stay the way it has been before I met Felicity.”

“I fear I lack the words to convey the true depths of my sympathy,” Nyssa replied, her face hardening slightly as she spoke. “I know Felicity brought you comfort during a difficult time and-“

“Oh, I see you haven’t forgotten your strict, emotionless way of speaking,” Oliver grunted. When he had first met Nyssa, she had been just like that. She had talked in a way that had sounded like she hadn’t meant what the words had said because of the almost antique way to phrase them. He shot Nyssa a short look before he added with anger, “What would you know about this by the way? You are with the woman you love, while I… I have nothing.”

Even from the corner of her eye Oliver could see Nyssa’s eyes hardening. She put her fingers to his chin and turned his face towards her to make him look at her.

“Your reticence to do what is necessary, to fight for what you really want, is why your heart is broken,” Nyssa told him with strict voice. “Take this night, grieve the dreams you had for the two of you. When you get up tomorrow, you will have to face this new reality, and you will have to decide if you want to be a coward or a warrior.”

She looked at him for a long moment, wordlessly emphasizing her words. Oliver’s throat was tight, not allowing him to speak. He didn’t nod either. As much as Nyssa seemed to be convinced that what she was demanding was the best for him, Oliver wasn’t so sure about that.

“Sara and I will sleep downstairs,” she told him. “Pull yourself together, Oliver. Felicity needs you.”

That being said, she turned around. Sara shot him a last sympathetic look before she laced her fingers through Nyssa’s. Together they left. Oliver looked at the closed door before he got up, the bottle of vodka in his hand, and started pacing up and down.

Fighting for Felicity was much easier said than done. He didn’t know how he should fight for her never mind if she really wanted him to fight in the first place. He couldn’t just abduct her and force her to be with him. Apart from the trauma that might leave her with, force was not something he wanted to use on her, even if it seemed like it was only for her best.

When Oliver caught a movement from the corner of his eye, he turned around and found that the TV was still switched on. He had listened to the baseball game for a few minutes while he had started getting drunk. He had been annoyed soon and muted the TV, though. He regretted it now, since the game had ended and the news were once more presenting the new power couple. Palmer’s face smiled down at him.

Ray perfect-asshole Palmer was probably a good catch if it wasn’t for his terrible values. He was rich, successful and didn’t look too bad. Yet, he believed in forcing people into loveless marriages and-

With a loud growl, Oliver pulled the small velvet box out of the pocket of his pants and opened it. None of this made sense. His fingers tightened around the box so firmly, his muscles were cramping. The sight of the diamond ring inside made his entire body ache. Instead of using what was supposed to be his last time here in Starling to wrap things up, he had bought Felicity a ring because he had thought she was his future. That was how serious he had been about their relationship, and now it had all been taken away from him.

A shout of anger left his throat as he threw the velvet box across the room. When the TV showed a laughing Palmer, Oliver’s chest tightened once more. He knew it wasn’t that way, but it was almost like Palmer was laughing at him, mocking him for believing that he had a future with Felicity. With another shout, he hurled the bottle of vodka across the room too, letting it bash against the TV where it broke in a thousand pieces, mixing with the scattered pieces of the TV.

It was easy for Nyssa to talk and tell him to fight. Since she had found Sara, they had been together all the time. They had just come to him and ambushed him with their deal, and he had agreed. Yes, it had been the best choice for him too, but because of his own attitudes, they had been allowed to be together. He and Felicity didn’t have this luck. For them, it was a thousand times more difficult and that didn’t even consider the difficulty of Felicity breaking up with him and claiming that she wanted to get married to Palmer.

And how the hell was he supposed to fight when he felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and trampled around it? For the first time in his life, Oliver felt completely and utterly defeated, and he wasn’t sure there was any coming back from that. If that made him a coward, so be it.


	10. Dare you to move

Oliver slammed the door shut behind him loudly, not caring that Sara flinched in surprise and Nyssa shot him an angry glare in response. There were a lot of things he had just stopped caring about in the last two weeks since Felicity had left him to supposedly get married to Ray Palmer. His desperation had turned into anger. He was angry with Felicity for leaving him and for what she had said to him. He was angry with their friends for not knowing how to help her. He was angry with the world for putting him through this.

He was running between five and ten miles a day to get rid of this anger or at least tame him enough to even make it through the day without beating up everyone who annoyed him to a pulp. Besides, the anger wasn’t helping him with trying to think about how to get Felicity out of this situation, whether she wanted to or not. As angry as he was with her, he still refused to think that living a life at Ray Palmer’s side was what she really wanted or what would ultimately make her happy. As soon as he would have calmed down the rage inside of him, he’d think about a plan a little more carefully.

While Oliver was strolling to the fridge, he took in the two women he lived with. They were dressed fancily and their hairs were done in elegant styles. Nyssa was holding Sara’s hand, giving her balance to slip into the second stiletto. To say that the relationship between him and the two of them was highly reserved was probably understated. Since Nyssa had trounced Oliver after he tried to drown his self-pity in alcohol, they had barely spoken a word to the other. Nyssa just shot him angry gazes every once in a while, and Oliver continued wallowing in self-pity.

“Are you going out on a date?” Oliver asked.

He grabbed a bottle of ice-cold water from the fridge. While he was taking some gulps, he was still watching the two of them. Hence, he didn’t miss the meaningful gazes they exchanged. Oliver rolled his eyes and put the bottle of water back into the fridge, kicking the door shot.

“I am not going to have a meltdown if you say yes,” he told them. When Sara and Nyssa, again, just exchanged a short look, Oliver sighed and headed to the stairs. “Fine. You don’t have to tell me.”

“Actually, we wanted to wait until we are back,” Nyssa stated, “but since your mood is just so wonderful again today…”

Oliver stopped in the middle of the stairs, turning around to them. He narrowed his eyes, taking them in. If they told him they were going to run away together or having a secret ceremony to symbolically getting married, he’d probably throw up. Oliver didn’t begrudge their happiness, at least not if he wasn’t wallowing in self-pity too deep to see that, just because he was unhappy, everyone else had to be too. Given the events of two weeks ago and the useless engagement ring he hadn’t dared to take back to the jeweler, now was just not the time for anyone to share the happiness of their love life with him.

“We are going to Felicity’s engagement party,” Nyssa explained.

Oliver felt his heart stop beating for a second. It ached at Nyssa’s words. The next second, when he realized that maybe there was an actual chance for him to see Felicity once more, it started racing in his chest, though. In the last two weeks, he had tried heading her off after work once more, but Felicity’s schedule was messed up and she always left through the underground parking in the limousine. If he could meet her at the party, maybe snatch a dance with her, it might give him another chance to revive her feelings, remind her of much she loved him. It was certainly dangerous, but it was the right thing to do.

Of course, Oliver knew it sounded like he was crazy and couldn’t accept that his girlfriend had broken up and moved on. It was just that he still doubted that Felicity had fallen out of love with him. She was keeping a secret, a secret he was angry she didn’t share with him, but a secret that made him know there was more behind him than she was letting on. If she had left him for any other man, he would leave her alone, but in this situation, it seemed stupid. If she could convince him that she really wanted this, then maybe he could let go. He doubted that was going to be the case, though.

Since Oliver stayed silent, Sara added, “We have all been invited – Laurel and Tommy, Lyla and John, Thea, Nyssa and me. Well, Nyssa and I got invited separately of course. We met up and decided to talk to Felicity there, carefully of course, to not get her into trouble.”

Oliver frowned. “And when exactly would you have told me that?”

“After,” Nyssa replied. “We didn’t want to disrupt your wailing. The invitation wasn’t for you anyway.”

So, the others had had the same thought as him. This party could allow them to talk to Felicity. It could allow him to talk to Felicity once more. This time he’d be prepared for whatever hurtful words she might have for him, and he would do his best to ignore them and keep convincing Felicity to stop this charade and tell him what they were threatening her with.

“I will hop under the shower and get into some decent clothes,” Oliver announced. “Give me ten minutes. I’m coming with you.”

“Like I said, the invitation was not for you,” Nyssa replied.

“I’m your husband. I’m coming with you.”

Oliver didn’t use the word ‘husband’ when talking about his relationship with Nyssa often. He didn’t like the word since he wasn’t really her husband, no matter what the piece of paper they had signed the day they had gotten married said. Nyssa hated the word even more than him. It was why they had always just used them to tease each other. Fact was that for the government the word ‘husband’ meant a lot, though. It was like a position. For Nyssa’s invitation to Felicity’s engagement party that meant when Nyssa was invited, so was he. They liked seeing their married couples together.

When Nyssa took in a deep breath and took a step towards Oliver, Sara quickly put her hand to her girlfriend’s shoulder. Nyssa shot her a look, and her eyes softened at the sight. She pressed her lips together and nodded for Sara to take over. Unlike his wife, who used to kick his ass whether it was necessary or not – and Oliver had to admit that it had been necessary when she had talked to him two weeks ago – Sara was usually a lot gentler with him. Sometimes he deserved that, sometimes he didn’t. Oliver was honest enough to himself to admit that.

“Ollie, I don’t think you are in a condition to go anywhere near Felicity right now,” Sara told him. “Either you are angry with her or you are missing her so damn much that it’s close to desperation. Neither of it is a good basis to talk to Felicity on a party with dozens of high-ranking politicians around. If you lose control, you are getting her in trouble, really dangerous kind of trouble actually. Let us handle this. Lyla is her best friend. If someone is getting her to reveal what’s really going on, it’s her.”

Oliver pressed his lips together firmly. Sara was right regarding his mood and unfortunately, he knew his temper too well to think it was going to be easy seeing Felicity at Palmer’s side and stay calm. Yet, he wanted to go. Maybe this was the last chance to meet her before her wedding. After that, it would basically be impossible to get through to her, especially when Palmer was going to take her to D.C.

“Let us handle this, Ollie,” Sara asked once more, squeezing his hand. “Felicity’s our friend, and you are our friend. We will do whatever we can to uncover the truth.”

Oliver took in a deep breath and nodded. He wasn’t good with trusting people, even his friends. He had tried talking to Felicity and it had led them nowhere, though. Maybe what he and Felicity needed was the help of their friends.

“Okay,” he finally said with hoarse voice. His thumb rubbed against the other fingertips nervously as he nodded. “Okay, fine.”

Sara smiled at him. “We will tell you how it went as soon as we are home.”

Again, Oliver nodded. “Okay.”

With heavy heart, he watched Nyssa and Sara turning to the door on their way to leave. Oliver pressed his lips together for a moment.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his voice gentler than it had been at any time in the last two weeks. When Sara and Nyssa looked at him, he asked, “Please be careful, okay? I don’t want anyone, either you and Thea and our friends or Felicity to get hurt.”

“We will be careful, but if she doesn’t give a good reason for this crap, I might have to feed her her eyes.” When Oliver and Sara both looked at her with perked up eyebrows at that statement, Nyssa shrugged her shoulders and added, “I might not have chosen to get married to him, but I am loyal to my husband.”

With a last determined look at Oliver, Nyssa straightened her shoulders and left. She almost looked like a warrior, Oliver thought to himself. Sara shot him a short, encouraging smile and followed her.

Oliver closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He sent a short prayer to heaven that hopefully everything was going to be alright and his friends would get Felicity to spill the truth about what was really going on. He didn’t really know how that was supposed to be possible on a party like that, but he knew he had to trust his family and friends to get this handled somehow.

The thought that maybe in a few hours this was all over made him feel lighter than he felt he had been in a long time. At the same time, he felt the exhaustion of the last days crashing down on him and the almost excited tension spreading all through his muscles. The next hours would decide if he and Felicity still had a future.

With quick steps, he hurried upstairs into the bathroom. He dropped his clothes to the floor carelessly and stepped under the stream of hot water. It pattered down on him in strong streams that at least helped a little to massage his tight muscles. Now he almost regretted the long hours of running. Oliver closed his eyes and sighed.

If they really managed to reach through to Felicity and get her to reveal what had driven her to leave him, then they could make a plan to help her out of this mess. No matter what it was what had driven Felicity to do this, he knew he would be able to understand it if she only gave him a chance of trying to understand it.

Stepping out of the shower, Oliver rubbed his hands over his face firmly, slightly shaking his head. This up and down of emotions was going to drive him insane if it continued like this.

With his towel wrapped around his hips, Oliver went to the dressing room. When he pulled one of the hoodies out of the shelf, the blue velvet box he had hidden there dropped to the floor. He had hoped he wouldn’t have to see it again until he wanted to if he hid it there. Of course, he had been wrong.

Oliver picked the box up from the floor hesitantly and took a look at the ring inside. After he had crashed it and his half-empty bottle of vodka into the TV, he had cried for almost half an hour before he had pulled himself together. He had cleaned up the mess her had made and picked up the ring. He had thought about trashing it because he had seen no reason for keeping it. The memory of Felicity’s smile when she told him she loved him had convince him otherwise and now he was happy he had kept it.

Frowning slightly, Oliver swiped his thumb over the small diamond of the ring. Despite everything that had happened, Felicity was still the one for him. If he had a happy future ahead of him, then Felicity had to be part of it.

His hand tightened around the box while he was sucking in a deep breath. Felicity was the woman he saw a future with. She was, for whatever reason, doubting that future right now. In his dreams of the future, he’d be a picture-perfect husband. He’d sense when Felicity needed him and he’d give her whatever it was she needed. Oliver frowned. He wanted to be this man he saw in his dreams, but how was he supposed to become him if he couldn’t even pull himself together enough to talk to Felicity without putting her into danger? If he couldn’t even do that for her, then how were they supposed to have a future together?

“Fuck!” he groaned to himself.

He wanted Felicity back and he’d give everything he had to bring her back, but to do so, he couldn’t stay here, wailing and wallowing in his self-pity. Nyssa was right. It was, once and for all, time to choose if he wanted to be a coward or a warrior. She herself had chosen the latter one, leaving this loft with her head held high and an agenda in mind, and she wasn’t even the one whose love life and entire future was on the line here. It was Felicity’s life and her future and with that it was also his life and his future, so he had to be the one fighting for it. He would.

Oliver hurried downstairs and went through the pile of post Nyssa had put on the couch table. When he found what looked like the invitation he opened the envelope and pulled the card inside out. He quickly skimmed through the text until he found the location. He suppressed the urge to roll with his eyes seeing it was the most luxurious hotel in town.

After he had put the invitation back to the rest of Nyssa’s post, he hurried back upstairs into the bathroom. He put on a suit with suspenders because he knew Felicity was into them. He grabbed his bowtie, deciding he’d take care of that when he was at the party.      He was almost halfway out the door already when he looked back over his shoulder to the ring box he had put on the shelf.

He knew that no matter what would happen, today certainly wasn’t the right day to ambush Felicity with the idea of getting married to him. Yet, he took the ring with him as a reminder of what he was fighting for.

****

 

“It’s a beautiful dress, Felicity.”

The woman whose name Felicity just couldn’t remember smiled at her while she was taking in Felicity’s outfit carefully. Felicity was pretty sure the woman was working in Ray’s office and she had been introduced to her already. She remembered a long talk about slow cookers and the best kindergartens and school districts in D.C. Yet, Felicity just couldn’t remember the woman’s name. In the last two weeks, she had been introduced to so many new people that she was actually surprised she still remembered her own name. She would have to ask for a book with names and photos of the people whose names she was supposed to remember, so she could learn them.

“Thank you,” Felicity replied with a smile. “It’s an Audrey Zander Design. Ray liked it so much that I figured it would be the right dress for the occasion.”

“Ray’s a sweetheart, and you two are a wonderful couple,” the woman replied. “This system is gold. I will never understand why people are making a big deal out of it. How many people in the world use dating websites and find their right partner by trusting the algorithms of these websites to find someone. At least our system takes a lot of different factors into consideration to make this decision. The biological factor alone should be appreciated more. People are spared the sorrow of having babies with genetic defects. No country is as strong and healthy as the American. It’s a pity there are still some people who can’t see this. I am sure Ray and you will be the perfect people to represent our great American values, though. You know, I have always said we need younger people to represent these values. You and Ray are good-looking, smart and charismatic people. It’s certainly going to help our image. People are going to root for your marriage and your kids. Just look at how European people celebrate the young princes.”

Felicity forced herself to keep smiling. She was sure her face would hurt from all the smiles by the end of the night. She knew she had no choice, though. Being nice and smiling about everything that was said, even if she felt like her stomach wanted to twist itself into knots, was what she had to do.

When a waiter went past her with a tray of champagne glasses, Felicity grabbed one of them and took a few sips to give her at least a short rest from smiling so much. She could have sighed at the pricking feeling of the liquid.

While the woman was talking about her husband and how happy they had been when they had found out they would get married, Felicity shot a quick look around. There were a lot of people here already and Felicity doubted that she knew even half of them even though everyone seemed to know her. It was a terrible feeling.

When she saw her friends standing together in a small circle not far from her, she quickly looked back at her dialog partner, pretending to be listening to what she was saying. Yet, her thoughts drifted far away.

Felicity hadn’t wanted to invite her friends here if they even were her friends still. Ray had been the one who had decided on inviting them. He had said it would be a good idea if they didn’t want her to look like a woman without identity. Since Felicity had refused to invite her mom, sending her off onto a cruise for the next year, she had been left with no choice but to invite the people she had grown close to since she had moved here. She had missed her friends in the last two weeks, but she had been avoiding them since they had stepped into the hall fifty minutes ago. She didn’t dare to talk to them since she knew she couldn’t tell them the truth anyway and she was sure Oliver had told them how their last meeting had gone. A part of her still almost wished they hadn’t come here.

“Felicity?”

“What?” Felicity asked, jolting out of her thoughts and looking into Mrs. Hoffman’s – that had been her name, Lauren Hoffman, Felicity suddenly remembered – worried eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Is everything alright, honey?” Mrs. Hoffman asked her, putting a gentle hand to Felicity’s forearm. “You seem a little distracted.”

“I’m fine,” Felicity hurried to say, once more forcing another smile onto her lips. “My head’s spinning from all the excitement to be honest. These last two weeks have been really exciting but also quite exhausting. I didn’t catch much sleep. I am really sorry.”

Mrs. Hoffman chuckled. “You are marrying into an important family and an even more important organization. I heard even the president is going to honor us with his presence tonight.”

Felicity felt her stomach twisting painfully at that. She had met Mr. Clincher already and he really wasn’t what she’d call a pleasant person. During the entire conversation with him, she had had cold shivers running down her back. Of course, she had known that he was coming here today, though. Ray was going to follow onto his position if everything went well after all, so of course President Clincher was going to show up to make sure everything was going great here.

“Yes, he is. It’s a huge honor for Ray and me really,” Felicity replied. Changing the subject, she asked, “You mentioned before that I should have a close look on the wedding planning and I was wondering-?”

“Oh, I think I am hogging you for too long already,” Mrs. Hoffman interrupted her with a smile. “We’ll continue the talk about your wedding plans later, okay? I might have some hints to make it even better.”

With an amused wink, Mrs. Hoffman turned around and went away. Felicity released a low sigh, actually relieved to be rid of her for the moment. When she turned around, taking a sip from her champagne, and found Lyla only a couple of feet away from her, Felicity felt her heart skip a beat, though. For a short second, she looked around like maybe she found someone to talk to and continue avoiding this conversation. She’d even take Mrs. Hoffman back if she could avoid talking to her friends for a little longer.

Before she could even perceive who was standing close enough to maybe save her from the talk, Lyla’s arms were already wrapped around her. Felicity was surprised by how firm her friend’s hold was on her, never mind that she was hugging her at all. After a moment of hesitation, Felicity wrapped her arms around her friend and leaned into the hug with a sigh. She hadn’t been hugged since the night she had left Oliver while he had been sleeping, and God knew she would have needed hugs in the last two weeks.

“Are you okay?” Lyla asked in a whisper.

Felicity nodded, loosening herself from the hug. “I am fine, really.”

Lyla cocked her head, saying quite urgently, “Felicity.”

There was no doubt that Lyla didn’t believe her. It almost made her wonder why Lyla had asked in the first place, but she guessed it was just the usual question.

“I am fine,” Felicity repeated, lending weight to her voice. “The house Ray bought is super nice. I have a shower with more nozzles than I can count. It’s like a dream come true and-“

“Felicity, you don’t really want to talk to me about showers right now, do you?” Lyla asked, a deep frown on her forehead.

Felicity pressed her lips together, pulling them into her mouth slightly. She had hoped that maybe Lyla would let her babble long enough for her to figure out what to say to her. Of course, her friend knew her better than that.

“I know this all seems like a crazy idea because it’s such a surprise, but you have to believe me that I willingly chose to get married to Ray.”

“Felicity,” Lyla whispered, taking Felicity’s free hand and holding it between both of hers, “it’s me, Lyla. I am your best friend. You can’t really expect me to believe something like this and you don’t have to hide anything from me. Whatever it is, I can help you. We can all help you.”

Felicity bit down on her tongue. This was exactly why she hadn’t wanted her friends to come here. Of course, they knew that something had to be going on and were trying to help her getting out of here. They were her friends for a reason after all. Unfortunately, she could need rear cover over help if she was honest.

“It’s the truth no matter what you might think,” Felicity explained, pulling her hand away from between Lyla’s fingers. “I know it’s hard to believe, but-“

“Impossible would be the more fitting word,” Lyla replied, giving Felicity a look. She stayed silent for a moment, shooting a quick look around, before she asked in a whisper that was so low that even Felicity could barely hear the words, “What about Oliver?”

Felicity bit her tongue, holding her breath. Of course, Lyla had to bring up Oliver. He was that one piece that would never fit, no matter what story she would make up. For months, she had spent so much time with him and told everyone close to her how much he meant to her. Then she had planned on running away with him to escape what she had overnight chosen to bolt into headfirst. There was no good story that she could tell that would satisfy her friends.

“I am sure he told you what I said to him when we last saw each other and unfortunately, I feel there is nothing more to say,” Felicity replied, lowering her gaze to the floor guiltily. In a low whisper, she added, “I hurt him, and I will forever be sorry for that, but he has to move on from it.”

“It’s a little hard for him to move on when-“

“Keep it down,” Laurel whispered to Tommy soothingly, holding onto his arm.

Felicity turned around to see the rest of her friends had approached her now. They looked angry, especially Tommy and Nyssa. Felicity couldn’t hold it against them. John and Lyla were the only ones who were really her friends. Tommy, Laurel as well as Sara and Nyssa and Thea were actually Oliver’s friends. They had only been her friends because she had been with Oliver.

“What the hell are you playing here?” Tommy asked.

He stepped closer to her. Felicity felt like he was trying to intimidate her with his body, and she hated to say it, but it actually worked a little. She shot a quick look around, not sure if she was looking for help or if someone was noticing that something was happening here. Everyone seemed to be occupied in conversations, though.

“I am not playing anything,” Felicity whispered in response. “I told Oliver that I couldn’t do what he wanted to do and that is the truth.”

“Goodbyes are hard, aren’t they?” Nyssa asked, cocking her head. “Is that why he didn’t get a real one until he came to you?”

Felicity sucked in a deep breath. The more they were talking to her, the more she was getting into a defensive position. She wished she could just turn around and escape them. She didn’t want this to escalate.

“I-“

“-wrote him a letter with one stupid sentence,” Thea finished the sentence for her, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Really great.”

“Guys,” John whispered, “this is not what we have planned.”

John shot her a look. It wasn’t the soothing expression that was usually on his face when he felt he had to calm her or someone else, but it was far from the aggressive attitude of Tommy, Nyssa and Thea. Felicity felt her heartbeat calming down a little, but before she could use the moment of pause to think about something to say, John already looked at Lyla. Felicity knew her friends for long enough to recognize the way he looked at his wife as his way of encouraging her.

Lyla took Felicity’s hand once more and pulled her a few feet away from the angry mob of their friends. Turning her around to her, Lyla put her hands to Felicity’s shoulders and looked at her urgently.

“Felicity, a life here is going to get you killed sooner or later,” Lyla whispered. “You can’t really want this. I know it’s going to be a lot more difficult now, but you can still get out of here. We will find a way and-“

“I don’t need a way to get out of here,” Felicity almost hissed. “Everything is perfectly fine.”

Lyla gave her a doubting look. “Tell me what they are using against you, and we will find a way to fix this. If this is about your mother because I haven’t been able to reach her in quite some time now, we will find a way to keep her safe. Johnny and I know the right people for something like this. We will-“

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut. They were turning in circles. She wished she could just tell Lyla the truth, but it just wasn’t that easy. She couldn’t just tell people what was going on, at least that was what she had been told. She had to trust that that was right and eventually her friends would understand, even if that would take some time.

“Maybe it’s better you leave,” Felicity told Lyla, shaking off her hands from her shoulders. “I don’t have time for this. Now, if you’d excuse me, I have other guests that are waiting for me to talk to them.”

Lyla looked at her sadly. “What did they do to you?”

“Nothing you should feel sad about or pity me for.”

With that, Felicity turned around and walked away. Her heart was heavy, and she was fighting the feeling of her eyes welling up with tears. She knew there had been no other way, but that didn’t give her the feeling that it had been okay. It didn’t make it better. All of this was a complete and utter mess and it seemed to get worse with every minute. She had no idea how this was supposed to develop and-

“Felicity.”

For the second time this evening, Felicity flinched at the sound of her name. When Ray put his hand to the small of her back, she looked up at him.

“Everything alright?” he asked, frowning.

“Yes,” Felicity replied. With a sigh, she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head to get rid of the weird feeling meeting her friends had left her with. “I just ran into Lyla and Co. It’s been even worse than I expected. I guess we shouldn’t have invited them. I didn’t want to call security, but if Clincher is here and-“

“Actually, I fear that’s not even our worst problem,” Ray whispered to her.

Felicity frowned. “Why? What happened?”

“Not here.”

Ray led her through the wide hall, smiling at people every once in a while. He gently pushed her through a door that led them to a hallway. Felicity looked at him with a frown, wordlessly asking what was going on. Yet, Ray just shook his head, shooting shot looks to the cameras. Felicity knew that wherever there were cameras, they could be seen, so it was no safe place for them to talk. At the end of the hallway, Ray opened the door to his left and gestured for her to step into the room.

Felicity’s heart stopped for a second when she saw Oliver sitting on a chair in the middle of the hotel room. His bottom lip was cut and slightly swollen. There was a bruise at the side of his forehead, a thin thread of blood running down his cheek. He had been handcuffed and one of Ray’s security guards was holding a gun to his face.

Oliver’s eyes found hers immediately. His lips moved, forming her name, but no sounds came out. A dozen of emotions played on his face, one changing to the next so quickly Felicity had barely time to register all of them. She didn’t miss the confusion and worry in his eyes, though.

“Felicity, my love, I am sure you can help to solve this little problem here. Security was called because Mr. Queen insisted on being let in though he wasn’t on the guest list,” Ray explained, shooting her a meaningful look. “He says he is married to one of your friends that was invited.”

Felicity hesitated for a second, unsure what to say. She was still too shocked that Oliver was here in the first place. Not inviting Oliver had been a deliberate choice. She hadn’t believed he’d come anyway.

“Felicity, my love?”

“Uhm… no… I mean yes,” Felicity said. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head for a second, focusing on the situation at hand. “I’m sorry. I have a headache. Uhm… Yes, Mr. Queen is married to Nyssa. I am friends with her. I must have forgotten to put him on the guest list with her. I am sorry. Everything went so fast and-“

“You see?” Ray said, turning to the security guards with a wide smile. “I told you Ms. Smoak was able to resolve this little misunderstanding. No reason to take further actions.”

The security guard lowered his gun and put it away. Felicity tried to take in a deep breath, but her lungs refused to do so. She could feel Oliver’s gaze on her skin, but she didn’t dare to look at him. She had no idea how things were going to continue from here.

“I am very sorry, Mr. Palmer,” the security guy said. “We thought-“

Ray lifted his hands, making him stop. “It’s fine. I appreciate your carefulness and discretion. I wouldn’t want my engagement party to be disrupted by fanatics or get my fiancée in any danger. Luckily, we don’t have any of these situations here. Please go back to work now.”

The security guy nodded. He unlocked the handcuffs around Oliver' wrists. Then he beckoned for his colleagues to follow him out. As soon as the door fell shut behind them, Felicity released a long breath and closed her eyes.

“I am very sorry for the misunderstanding,” Oliver slowly, almost lamely like he was trying to consider his words carefully. “It would have probably been easier if-“

“Thank you, Mr. Queen, but there are no further excuses necessary as this room is one of the few that are safe,” Ray interrupted him politely.

Felicity shot a look in Oliver’s direction. He frowned at her, obviously unable to understand what was going on here. Admittedly, there was no way he could understand this without the information Felicity had to hold back. When Oliver got up from his chair and took two steps towards her, she took some steps back, making Oliver stop. She saw the hurt in his eyes and looked to the floor, biting down on her bottom lip.

Ray cleared his throat. Felicity looked at him, noticing the thoughtful expression on his face. When she frowned, Ray sighed and nodded slightly.

“Felicity, do you trust your friends?” he asked her, looking at her urgently.

Felicity nodded firmly. “Without any exception.”

“What is going on here?” Oliver asked once more.

Felicity ignored Oliver, holding Ray’s gaze instead. She knew he was holding out for any hesitation or insecurity in her face. He wouldn’t show her any.

“Okay, I give in,” Ray replied, lifting his hands in defeat for a moment. He moved his finger through his hair. “You have been right. You should have told them the truth from the beginning. It might have spared us these troubles. So, go and do it now.”

Releasing a long breath, he went past her to the book shelves. When, instead of pulling out a book or whatever else, he opened the shelve like a door and revealed the elevator door behind, Felicity frowned.

“How did you know that was there?”

“I bought the hotel a few years ago,” Ray replied matter-of-factly. He pushed the button for the elevator doors to open and gestured for them to step inside. “It will lead you right into our penthouse suite.”

Felicity stepped forward, straightened up on her tiptoes and kissed Ray’s cheek. “Thank you.”

Once more, Ray sighed, but he nodded his head. “It’s okay. You’ve got an hour. If anyone asks, you had an important phone call from Tokio coming in. That’s the most believable.”

“Okay,” Felicity replied, shooting a look at her watch. “Okay.”

“Felicity?” Ray asked her. Felicity perked up her eyebrows and Ray pressed his lips together for a moment. “You can tell them, but that can’t change anything else.”

Felicity hadn’t thought it would even if a tiny part of herself might have hoped for it, so she nodded. “I know.”

She stepped into the elevator and looked at Oliver. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at her with an almost unreadable expression. Felicity understood that he didn’t want to go. After what she had done and said to him and then this evening when someone had actually held a gun to his head and now she had kissed the cheek of the man that was probably one of the most hated people in the world, she wasn’t sure if she’d go with her if she was in his position either.

“Oliver, please,” Felicity whispered. “Trust me.”

She looked at Oliver urgently. She knew it was a lot to ask, and she’d understand if he didn’t, but she had to at least try. This was their chance to get one hour of truth that would bring light in all the weird events of the last two weeks. With bated breath, Felicity waited for Oliver to move. He just kept staring at her, though.

Felicity was about to repeat her pleading when Oliver finally crossed the distance. He stepped into the elevator with her, leaning back against the opposite side of the cage. While the door closed behind them and the lift took them upstairs, they kept staring at each other. Felicity could feel the anger and suspicion radiating off him and she couldn’t even hold it against him. She’d be angry and wary if she was him, too.

When the doors opened with a  _ pling! _ Felicity stepped outside. To say that she was surprised that she was stepping out of the mirror in the living room of their suite was probably understated. She had stood in front of this mirror and taken in the blue dress she wore and didn’t really like much before she had headed downstairs to the party. She had had no idea it was Ray’ hotel, never mind there were secret elevators. She guessed she shouldn’t have been surprised, though. She hadn’t known Ray for very long, but in that short time, he had surprised her so many times already.

“Sit down,” Felicity suggested, gesturing to the luxurious white couches. “I will get you some ice for your lip and a washcloth, so we can clean up the bruise on your forehead. Do you want a glass of water or some pain meds to-“

“All I want is for you to tell me what the fuck is going on here,” Oliver told her, his voice hoarse and hard. “What’s being played here?”

“Shouldn’t we-“

“Felicity!”

For the third time today, Felicity flinched at the sound of her name. She had always loved the wayhe had pronounced her name in a low whisper of love and adoration. Of course, she understood why he was angry and shouted her name tonight, so Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and nodded to herself. She turned around to Oliver slowly. He stood in the middle of the room, his arms still crossed in front of his chest.

“You should maybe sit down,” Felicity suggested. When Oliver’s face just hardened in response, she shrugged her shoulders. “Or you can stand if you want to. I… uhm…”

Felicity kicked off her shoes. She wanted to move her fingers through her hair nervously, but couldn’t do so without completely ruining the elegant up-do. She sat down at the edge of the backrest of the couch. It wasn’t comfortable, but she doubted she’d find any comfortable position to have this talk, so she stayed where she was.

“I… uhm…” Felicity sighed. “I don’t even know where to start.”

Oliver pursed his lips. “Okay, I will make it easier for you and just ask you a question then. How come that the last two weeks I thought someone was blackmailing or threatening or hurting you to do this and now that I am here, it looks like you are working with Palmer, the man who wants to continue the party’s legacy by forcing people into loveless marriages and suppressing every renitency there is?”

Felicity swallowed, sucking in a deep breath despite the aching in her lungs as they fought against the air. Hearing him say it like that only made it worse. “It looks bad, right?”

“Kind of,” Oliver replied. He looked at her for a long moment before he sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. When he looked back at Felicity, the expression in his eyes was a lot gentler and so was the tone of his voice when he added, “Felicity, I know none of this can be true and you are not working with Palmer, so-“

“But it is true,” Felicity interrupted him in a whisper.

“What… What do you mean?”

Felicity released a breath. “I am working with Palmer.”


	11. Take the power back

_ I am working with Palmer. _

_ I am working with Palmer. _

_ I am working with Palmer. _

Felicity’s words resounded in his head again and again like a never-ending echo in the dark emptiness of the night. Oliver even forgot all about the throbbing pain in his head the security guard’s punch had left him with and the aching parts of his wrists where the handcuffs had cut into his skin. All he could focus on were Felicity’s words.

_ I am working with Palmer. _

_ I am working with Palmer. _

_ I am working with Palmer. _

For two long weeks, he had tried to find every possible excuse for Felicity’s actions. He had thought she had just been forced into this or maybe even threatened with her death or the death of her loved ones. He had made up a thousand different scenarios of how she would come to him and tell him what had happened and they would fight to make things right again.

He wanted to be in denial about her words, but it was hard denying the truth if it came right out of her mouth, at least after what he had seen today. When Felicity had entered the room he had been brought to after his encounter with the security, he had seen the fear in her eyes and he had thought that that fear alone would be enough to explain this mess they were in. He had been proved wrong, though, as she had seemed a lot more comfortable when the security had left and they had been alone with Palmer. She had seemed to be so comfortable around him, like they were old friends. She had even kissed his cheek.

Oliver bit down on his tongue so firmly, he could taste blood in his mouth. He knew if he spoke now, he’d start yelling. As much as he wanted to just tell her that apparently everything was said and he should go now, he knew he couldn’t. His hands were shaking, aching with the urge to grab her shoulder and just shake her until the woman he had fallen in love with would come back. He knew he couldn’t do that without hurting her, though, if it was possible at all, so Oliver clenched his hands to fists keeping them close to his body. The room was quiet, as Felicity stayed silent too. Yet, the tension could be felt in every beat of the second.

Against better knowledge, Oliver took a closer look at her. She was still sitting on the backrest of the couch, her body in an uncomfortably twisted position. She was wearing a tight-fitting blue dress, her hair pinned up. She looked beautiful, of course she did, yet she didn’t really look like herself. The dress was a little longer than she usually wore, the color nothing he had ever seen on her. The updo looked stiffer than the usual way she styled her hair for occasions. Even the makeup, especially the decent tone of her lipstick, didn’t look like her. Oliver knew he hadn’t known Felicity for very long, but he did want to believe that he knew Felicity well enough to know what was her style and what wasn’t.

Oliver clenched his fist even harder. He knew he shouldn’t look at her like that, shouldn’t even notice how beautiful she was. With everything going on, he couldn’t allow a distraction like that.

“None of this has been my initial plan,” Felicity said after a while, her voice so quiet he could barely hear it over the rushing of blood in his ears. “When you asked me to run away with you, I meant it when I said that I was going to do that and that I wanted that. I know it’s hard to believe me anything right now, but you have to believe me that.”

“You are right,” Oliver said, his voice as tense as his body. He pressed the words out between gritted teeth, the muscles of his jaws hurting from the force. “It is really hard to believe you anything, especially that actually.”

Felicity held his gaze for a moment longer before she puckered her lips and lowered her head. Her fingertips moved over the seam of the couch cover, following it for a few inches before moving back again. She nodded to herself slowly before she lifted her gaze and looked back at him once more.

“After you left my house the morning I received that letter,” Felicity started eventually after taking in a deep breath, “I did exactly what we discussed. I took care of matters at Smoak Tech to make it go on despite my absence. I said goodbye to John, Lyla and Andria. I packed the most important stuff I needed. I tried to strike camp here in Starling or the US actually, just like we discussed.”

Oliver looked at Felicity intently, watching her face for any sign of dishonesty or whatever else he might be able to see. For now, he felt she was honest with him which didn’t make it any easier he realized. He still didn’t want to talk to her, giving her the silent treatment as childish as it sounded. Yet, he wanted to finally know the truth. It was why he had come here tonight in the first place.

“So, what happened?”

“Ray paid me a visit.”

For a second, Oliver’s heart stopped beating and his breathing faltered. He wasn’t sure if it was because she, once again, called him Ray like an old friend or, god forbid, lover or if it was because Palmer had showed up at her home the night they had planned on running away. No matter what had happened between Felicity and him, the thought that someone like Palmer had been in her home, the place where she was supposed to feel safe, bothered him.

“What did he want?” Oliver asked.

“Talk to me,” Felicity replied. “I didn’t believe him at the start, but he really just wanted to talk to me which, given his reputation and who he’s working with and-“

“What did he want to talk about?” Oliver interrupted her, feeling the bit of patience he had been left with after these two long weeks fading.

“He knew about us.”

“So, he blackmailed you?”

“No. I mean… yes… no… not… not directly… not really,” Felicity stuttered.

She squeezed her eyes shut and got up from the couch. She paced up and down the living room quickly. She lifted her hands to her hair a few times, but always lowered them again. It was like she wanted to tear her hair out and, only in the last second, remembered that her hair was up-done and she probably couldn’t even touch it without destroying it. Eventually, she stood by the windows and pulled some pins from her hair. She let them fall to the floor carelessly while her hair loosened and fell onto her shoulders. Oliver watched her comb her blonde curls with trembling fingers a few times until it looked natural again, the mass of hairspray decreased.

Oliver frowned. He still had no idea what was going on, but he slowly got the feeling that maybe it wasn’t as easy as he had hoped for and Felicity couldn’t explain this in just three sentence that would make him decide if he should fight or turn around and leave. Looking at her now, she looked tired and exhausted. No matter how much makeup was on her face, it couldn’t hide it.

Felicity stayed at the window, looking down on the lights of the city. She was mirrored in the glass of the window, and Oliver watched her eyes focusing on her reflection instead of the city. She nodded like she was encouraging herself before she turned around to him and took in a deep breath.

“Ray and some others are infiltrating the party to take it down.”

Oliver dipped his head forward, his eyes narrowing as he frowned confusedly. “He what?”

Felicity tugged her hair behind her ears and took in another deep breath before she explained, “Ray is not really supporting the governing party. He’s actually been in a secret group that formed against them, the same group your mother has been working for when she died.”

Oliver swallowed, feeling like it was getting harder to breathe normally. His hands weren’t clenched into fists any longer. His thumb rubbed against his fingertips nervously instead.

“That’s just not possible,” Oliver whispered.

“That’s been my first reaction too,” Felicity replied, nodding her head. “Ray told me that the political organization or party that he is and your mother has been working on has always aimed higher than just trying their best to give people in this world a possibility to live their life unharmed. They want to take down the government and reintroduce a real democracy, one that’s not just for the sake of appearance.”

Oliver took in a deep breath, trying to process her words. He had always admired his mother for trying to get into an organization that worked against the government. He had felt it had been a lot braver than anything he could have done. It had killed her, taken her away from her children way too soon, but it had at least left Thea and him with an example of what selflessness looked like.

“Their plan is to have Ray become president,” Felicity continued eventually. “To do that, he needs to be voted as presidential candidate by the party, though. If that happens, then he will be voted president by the end of the year and sworn into office at the beginning of the next year. When that happens, he and the other people who infiltrated the party and who will take over some other offices will change the constitution and make sure Clincher and the other high-ranking politicians that maintained this dictatorship in the last few years are going to get arrested. They have come so far already. All that’s necessary is for them to get at the forefront of the government. With Ray becoming president and the right people in the right offices, they have really great chances. Ray becoming president is this country’s chance to build up a rightful constitution and law. People will finally be free again.”

Pressing his lips together firmly, Oliver released a long breath through his nose. He had obsessed about his hate of Ray Palmer, especially during the last two weeks. Imagining he was the saving grace of this country was hard, particularly because of what Oliver had thought he had taken from him for two weeks now. Oliver had a thousand questions, but he didn’t ask any of them.

He thought her words through. In the history of this country there had been a lot of tries to overthrow the government, most of them bloody and brutal. Every single one had failed and only cost more lives and more control and surveillance. Today, it was almost impossible to even move without the government knowing about it.

“When Ray came to me that day,” Felicity went on, “he told me that his chances of being voted presidential candidate by the party are good, but they could still use some improvement. The party wants to maintain their image of bringing the right people together. Ray’s also working with someone at the Ministry of Procreation. He asked them to calculate who he will have to get married to months ago and started observing me to check if I was trustworthy. He can’t have people as close to him as a fiancée without knowing they would support his agenda.”

“I guess us breaking the law together made you trustworthy?”

Felicity nodded. “That and staying in touch with Curtis and Paul. Apparently, Ray’s really good with tech. He actually got the connections hacked… which only encouraged me to use even more codes and now he can’t hack them anymore. At least, not yet. He’s trying to work on it, but… whatever… I am losing the thread.”

Oliver almost felt a smile tugging at the corners of his lips at the short ramble. Almost.

“He blackmailed you with the information he had gathered about you?”

Felicity looked at Oliver for a long moment before she lowered her gaze and shook her head. “No, he didn’t. It would be easier to say he did. I mean… he did make sure I knew exactly what responsibility I am carrying with the chance of being part of this and how I would let down all the people who would hope and pray for a chance. I guess there was some emotional pressure, but he didn’t blackmail me. It wouldn’t be fair to say he did.”

When she lifted her gaze to look at him again, Oliver could see the guilt in her eyes. He nodded quietly, unsure what to say.

“The truth is that Ray gave me a choice. He said if I wanted to run away with you, he’d help us getting to Mexico. It would have been safe, no threats. All I would have had to do for that was saying I wanted it,” Felicity told him. She smiled sadly. “I wanted to. I really wanted to take that offer and just get away from here with you.”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath when tears were welling in Felicity’s eyes. He might have had trouble believing her earlier, but he did believe her now. She said the truth when she told him that she had wanted to do this.

“But you couldn’t,” Oliver whispered.

He frowned slightly, remembering it had been the words she had written on that terrible note she had left him with. Oliver might still have trouble processing all of what she had just told him, but he felt the pieces were slowly falling into place. Felicity had wanted to leave with him, but she had been faced with an almost impossible choice – running away with him and leaving everything and everyone here behind or giving up on her plans and help freeing the people of this country. Felicity had chosen to give up on their relationship for the greater good.

Releasing a short breath, Oliver lowered his gaze and stared at his feet. It was impossible to be angry with her because of the choice she had made. She had been selfless, aiming for something that he himself had said was out of reach for either of them to achieve. He didn’t know a lot of people who would be courageous enough to even try. He wasn’t even sure if he was. It was impossible not to adore her and love her even more for it.

There was one thing that still kept a little flame of the anger burning inside his chest, though. He frowned, lifting his gaze and looking at Felicity.

“But you didn’t trust me enough to tell me?” Oliver asked. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, remembering Palmer had mentioned that Felicity had wanted to tell him, but that, apparently, she had needed his permission to do so. “You trusted Palmer, who told you it wasn’t safe, over me?”

“No, of course not,” Felicity replied.

Frowning, she crossed the large distance between them until she stood right in front of him. Pulling her lips into her mouth, she hesitated for a moment before she put her hands to his forearms. Oliver sucked in a deep breath, his heart stumbling in his chest. Oh god, how much he had missed the gentle touch of her hands, the feeling of her delicate skin against his rougher one.

Felicity wetted her lips, the tip of her tongue moving out for a split second. Oliver watched it, feeling his throat growing tight at the sight. When he lifted his gaze, he met her eyes. There were no tears in them anymore, but the sadness hadn’t faded.

“I wanted to tell you,” she explained. “I told Ray that I wanted to tell you. He said it would be too dangerous. The more people know, the more people talk about it. One of the people he works with told his spouse about it and she talked to some other person about it. Ray doesn’t know how it happened, but the rumor was spread that maybe Ray isn’t as faithful to the party’s values as he tries to make people believe. It was what led to him having to get married so soon in the first place. They are testing his loyalty.”

“So, you decided to go with his wishes.”

“I just hoped that eventually he would see that telling you was the better choice,” Felicity told him.

When she bit down on her bottom lip, looking at her fingers on his forearms, Oliver frowned. “What?”

Felicity sighed, looking back at him. “Maybe a little part of me thought it was easier not to tell you. I knew you’d try to convince me of staying with you if I would tell you, so I figured if I was mean and tried to hurt you instead of saying the truth, maybe you would give up. It would have been easier for me, but most importantly it would have been easier for you. If you moved on, it would have been easier.”

Oliver took in a deep breath before he released it with a sigh. He took a step back, stepping away from Felicity’s touch, and turned away from her. He rubbed his hands over his face like he tried to figure out if any of this was real or he was just caught in a dream that would leave him longing for her even more when he woke up.

“Oliver-“

“You have to give me a minute,” Oliver told her, almost snapped the words, turning back around to her with his hands held out in front of him deprecatingly. “This is a lot to process, especially after everything that happened. I mean do you have any idea what I thought they did to you and were doing to you every minute you were with them? Do you have any idea how scared I was for you? Never mind how crazy I felt for wanting to get you out of here despite everything you have told me? Felicity, I thought I was turning into a mad stalker.”

Felicity lowered her gaze to the floor, whispering, “I’m sorry.”

Oliver knew she was. She looked really sorry, guilty even. He knew she had done what she had thought was best for her and him, though. Given that she was the one who was trying to save the country here, he couldn’t really be angry with her about that. One wrong move, one wrong facial expression could give her away and end her six feet under. The thought made his heart clench painfully and a cold shiver running down the length of her spine.

Releasing a long breath, Oliver put his hands on his hips and nodded slowly. “I hate that you are getting yourself in danger like that. It will take more than half a year and you will be in danger for each single second of it. You will never be really safe and no matter how good you are, there is no guarantee that you will succeed.”

Felicity locked eyes with him, shrugging her shoulders. “I know, but it’s the right thing to do. I mean… I have to at least try, right?”

Oliver nodded slowly. As he squeezed his eyes shut for the break of a second, he felt a lot of the tension and rage that had been part of him for quite some time now, falling off him. There was still some tension in his back that gave away how worried he was about Felicity’s plans and her safety. Actually, his tension was probably just as bad as it had been before. Only that this time the feeling of fear was almost overshadowed by relief.

For a moment, Oliver stayed where he was, unsure of what to do. What was the next step after your ex-girlfriend – was she even his ex-girlfriend? – had told you she was going to save the world and dumping you was a drop of bitterness that was necessary to make it work?

Deciding that there probably was no protocol to follow, Oliver followed his gut instead. He approached Felicity and came to stand right in front of her. After a short second of hesitation, he put his hands to her face, framing it as gently as he could. His thumbs stroked over her cheekbones as he took in her face. She was so beautiful, even more beautiful than he could have had remembered in the last two weeks.

“I know it probably sounds patriarchic or something like that, but I am going to say it anyway. I am so damn proud of you,” Oliver told her, locking eyes with her intently. “There aren’t a lot of people who would have the courage to do what you are trying to do. Whether it works or not, you are a hero.”

Felicity sucked in a deep breath, smiling at him through the tears. “Thank you, but I am not sure how true this is.”

“It is very true, trust me,” Oliver asked.

He put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest until her entire body was pressed against his. Without her high heels, she was so wonderfully petite, her head resting right on his chest. Smiling, Oliver rested his chin on the top of her head and then ducked his head to push his nose against her hair. Closing his eyes, he breathed her in. Felicity stroked her hands up and down his back, leaning against him completely with a content sigh. Only now he realized how much he had really missed her. So, he just held her, not saying a word.

Felicity was safe and she had an agenda, a good one even. It got her into danger and he would never like that, but he knew that she was right and it was the right thing to do.

“I am sorry for everything I said to you,” Felicity whispered eventually.

“It’s okay,” Oliver assured her. “You had your reasons. I am just glad I didn’t lose you. I am not sure I would have been able to take it, you know? These two weeks have been hell and it would have been difficult to do this any longer. Thinking this between us was over-“

When Felicity loosened herself from the hug, Oliver stopped. She frowned at him for a moment and took in a deep breath before she cocked her head with a sigh. She smiled sadly, slightly shaking her head.

“Oliver, that between us, as wonderful as it is and as much as I want it back, it is over,” Felicity told him.

Oliver frowned. Felicity wanted to step away from him, but he kept his hands on her hips, holding her in place.

“Felicity, I love you and now that I know what is going on here, I understand it.”

“I love you too,” Felicity replied, “and I love you all the more for understanding why I have to do this. This whole project is difficult and dangerous as it is already, though. I can’t risk its success because I want to see you or even talk to you. Keeping things secret between us has been difficult these past months already. It’s going to be almost impossible now with everyone’s eyes on me and-“

Oliver stopped her by brushing his lips against hers. Felicity hesitated, not yet fully responding to the kiss. Pulling back a little, Oliver wrapped her arms around his waist and framed her face with his own hands once more.

For two weeks, he had been going crazy over the thought of living a life without her. He wouldn’t give up without a fight now that there was the slightest of a chance of having Felicity included in his life, no matter how long it would take.

“This is now,” Oliver whispered to her. “What about next year when Palmer is president and a new constitution is in the works and you have achieved everything you are trying to achieve here?”

“Oliver, this is in months. It might even take longer if we don’t have enough people to help make this happen and I can’t make you wait when I can’t even guarantee-“

Oliver closed the distance between their lips once more. He swallowed the rest of her words, silencing whatever objections she wanted to submit. This time, Felicity did respond to the kiss, even if the response was still hesitating and not as exuberant as he had hoped for.

The kiss had meant to be only a chaste one to silence her objections. As her lips moved against his now, Oliver couldn’t refrain himself from stroking his tongue over her soft bottom lip. When Felicity opened her mouth to his touch with a sigh, he slipped his tongue into her mouth and moved it against hers. Oliver moved his hands from her face down her neck to her shoulders and over her back to her waist, pulling her impossibly close against him. In the meantime, Felicity’s hands tightened around the back of his suit jacket.

As the kiss deepened even more, their bodies moving against one another slightly, Oliver growled her name against her lips. “Felicity.”

Felicity moaned into his mouth and straightened up onto the tip of her toes to deepen the kiss even more. Her hand moved into his hair, grabbing some strands to hold him against her. Oliver moved his hands a little lower, grazing the curve of her ass with his fingertips. Felicity leaned against him, pressing her hips to his.

“We can’t do this,” she whispered nonetheless. “There is no time.”

“We’ll make the time,” Oliver whispered back against her lips, “and we’ll hurry.”

Felicity chuckled. “We never hurry.”

Oliver wrapped his arms around her even more tightly while he was walking her backwards. “We will have to this time.”

When he reached the small commode at the wall, he put his hands to Felicity’s hips and lifted her onto it. While Oliver’s hands were reaching for the zipper at the back of her dress and lowering it, Felicity tugged the hem of her dress up her legs until the skirt pooled around her waist. She spread her legs for him and Oliver stepped between them, pulling Felicity closer to the edge of the commode. He rubbed his already hardening cock against her center and made quick work of her dress, lowering the sleeves down her shoulders and pushing the dress further down until the entire fabric pooled around her waist.

His hips kept moving against hers, his length hardening with every second. When a particularly hard thrust made his zipper press against her clit in just the right way, Felicity gasped for breath. Her lips parted from his and Oliver used the opportunity to kiss down the side of her neck. His fingers stroked over her back, eliciting goosebumps all over her skin. Eventually, he unclasped her bra and took the fabric off, dropping it to the floor carelessly.

While his lips continued their path down her chest, Felicity’s fingers pushed his jacket down her shoulders, dropping it to the floor, and loosened the bowtie around his neck. Her hands stroked over the suspenders, enjoying them, before she pushed them down too. Just when his lips reached her right nipple, her fingers started working on the buttons of his shirt. As soon as his lips closed around her nipple, her hands tightened in his shirt, though. She pulled him even closer to her, arching her back to press her breasts closer to his face.

“Oliver,” she moaned out when he pressed his tongue flat against the sensitive nipple and rubbed his tongue against it. “Oh god!”

She wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him closer, rubbing her hips against his. Even through her panties and his pants he could feel how hot her core was already. He groaned, rubbing himself against her. He was so hard and longing for her so much already. Yet, he just kept teasing her with his tongue, enjoying the way Felicity grabbed his hair and pulled him even closer.

Oliver grazed her nipple with his teeth, holding it between his front teeth and pulling slightly. Felicity hissed, so he quickly soothed the pain he had caused with his tongue until she sighed contently and her body became putty in his hands. Oliver kissed and licked her nipple for a little longer, teasing the other nipple with his thumb until Felicity’s breathing became erratic and her hips moved against him quickly.

“Oliver,” she moaned out once more. “We have to hurry.”

Oliver let go of her nipple and kissed his way back up her chest and neck to her lips. They kissed each other passionately, lips slanting together with hurry. While Felicity unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and pushed the fabric down his shoulders, Oliver moved his hands up the outsides of her thighs. Her delicate skin felt so soft and hot under his touch. He wished he had the time to explore every inch of her body with his hands, his lips and his tongue. He didn’t have that time, though.

Felicity unbuckled his belt while Oliver pushed her panties asides and stroked his forefinger through her folds. Felicity’s head fell back with a sigh, so Oliver nibbled at her chin. She was so wet for him, her core so hot. When Felicity pushed his pants and boxer briefs down his legs, she scraped her fingernails over his butt and Oliver groaned.

When Oliver pushed his hips back a little, taking hold of his cock, Felicity angled her head forward again and looked at him. Before Oliver could move back closer to her and bury himself inside her warmth, Felicity held him back, though.

“Wait, we need a condom,” she told him breathlessly.

Oliver frowned. “Why? I swear I didn’t-“

“No, I know,” Felicity replied hurriedly, patting his chest gently. “I had to stop taking the pill. It’s… a complicated story about a medical check and needing to get the pill prescribed officially for medical reasons other than conception and-“

“Please tell me you have condoms,” Oliver asked her. Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, shaking her head. Oliver nodded quickly. “Okay, we are going to find some. I mean… it can’t be that hard. This is a luxury hotel and-“

“-the suite is booked by a yet-to-be-married couple,” Felicity told him. “There probably are no condoms.”

Oliver swallowed. He was rocking hard and aching in his hand. His dick needed to be surrounded by her tight, slick walls so desperately. He needed to feel her flutter around him while her pleasure was increasing until she reached the peak of her ecstasy and her walls would grip him so tightly that it would trigger his own orgasm. Oliver couldn’t resist squeezing his length at that thought, groaning as it eased some of the tension he felt.

“You take a look in the bedroom,” Oliver suggested. “I will look here.”

Oliver helped Felicity off the commode, stabilizing her stand with his hands on her hips for a moment before she shook her hips to make the dress fall to the floor. She stepped out of it and hurried to the bedroom, only wearing her panties.

Oliver kept looking after her for a moment before he started opening all the drawers, trying to find condoms. Apparently, the hotel made sure their guests had ten different kind of papers and pens to write with, but not condoms. Apart from that, there was a large collection of CDs and DVDs in the drawers, but, again, no condoms.

He was close to a freak-out because his hard member was aching when Felicity finally called, “Found them.”

She came running back into the living room, throwing herself at him without any pause. Oliver stumbled a step back as Felicity wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his hips and attacked his lips with hers. His cock pressed against her wet folds and he groaned at having his aching member being wetted in her juices, sliding back and forth without entering her.

His arms wrapped around her waist immediately. He responded to the kiss and sat her back down on the commode. He tried to snatch the condom from her fingers, but Felicity held it out of his reach. She broke the kiss to open the foil package with her teeth and take out the latex inside.

For maybe a second, Oliver wondered if she and Palmer got this covered. Even if it was his hotel, maybe one of the staff members would spoil about the used condom in the suite. That would definitely get her in trouble.

All those thoughts came to stop when Felicity wrapped her hands around his cock and squeezed him. He releases a long breath thrusting into her hand a few times. The friction made the base of his spine tingle in the best way.

“Felicity,” he whispered eventually. “We have to hurry.”

Felicity chuckled. “You just can’t stand the teasing.”

“Maybe,” Oliver whispered against her lips before he captured them in another gentle kiss. “Or maybe it’s because I have dreamed about doing this again for two long weeks.”

“Yeah, me too,” Felicity replied.

She nuzzled his nose for a moment before she rolled the condom onto him. She pumped him in her hand a few more times, tugging Oliver’s hips closer to her. Oliver pushed a forearm under her knee, hooking her leg over his arm and opening her more to him. He stepped closer to Felicity, unable to take her teasing touch any longer.

Felicity looked up and locked eyes with him. Oliver’s entire body was tingling with anticipation, ready to give himself to her completely. He could feel her hot breath on his skin and her lips opened slightly, looking so deliciously kissable that Oliver felt tempted to just lean in and kiss her. Instead, he pushed her panties aside and moved his hips forward to slowly ease inside of her, his eyes still locked on hers. When he was buried inside of her, her slick and warm walls clinging to his cock, Felicity held onto his biceps. Her nails dug into his skin.

Slowly Oliver started moving, thrusting shallowly. His left arm was wrapped around her waist, holding her to him and giving her leverage. Their eyes stayed locked as they moved against each other slowly, without much effort, just enjoying being connected to each other in this way again.

It wasn’t long until the slow and lazy movements weren’t enough anymore. His body was screaming for more, so Oliver urged closer to Felicity, pulling her more against him at the same time. He pulled out almost all the way before he thrust back in firmly. Felicity gasped for breath, her nails digging even deeper into his skin. A second thrust made her eyes flutter and when the third one made her eyes close, Oliver leaned forward and captured her lips in a searing kiss.

They found their rhythm, moving against each other more quickly with time. The commode bumped against the wall with each thrust, but neither Oliver nor Felicity cared about it. They kept moving, their tongues dancing in a way that made them known how much they had missed and had been missed by the other.

Soon, Oliver felt the tingling in his spine that told him he was close. His hand tightened around the back of Felicity’s knee, his thrusts growing even quicker. He could feel Felicity’s inner walls fluttering around him, her breathing becoming so erratic that she could barely respond to his kisses anymore.

“Oliver,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” Oliver whispered back.

He pulled his arm away from under her leg and pushed his hand between their bodies. With quick and precise movements, he rubbed his thumb over Felicity’s clit. She hissed, biting into his bottom lip and eliciting a deep growl from him with that. Oliver broke the kiss, leaning back just enough to look at Felicity’s face while her pleasure and his pleasure were rising impossibly high. Her pupils were blown wide, her eyes only focused on him. Wild pants were leaving her open lips.

Two thrusts later, Felicity’s body tensed. Her back arched so much, her breasts were pressing against his chest. One more thrust and Felicity came. Her body trembled against his, her inner walls gripping him so tightly, Oliver had trouble holding on. He kept thrusting, though, prolonging her orgasm until he couldn’t resist giving into his own pleasure any longer.

“Felicity,” he whispered when he thrust into her one last time before spilling into the condom, his body tingling.

As his waves of ecstasy slowly ceased, his body lost the tension. He wrapped his arms around Felicity, leaning against her and resting his head in the crook of her neck and shoulder. He pushed his nose against her skin and breathed in the sweet scent that was all her. He brushed a kiss against her collarbone and hummed when Felicity moved her fingers through his hair.

“This was great,” she whispered.

“Very great,” Oliver replied. He angled his head back to look at her and smiled when Felicity locked eyes with him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Felicity told him. She ducked her head and brushed her lips against his shortly. “And because I love you, I want you to be happy and that means I can’t ask you to wait for me, especially given how long you would have to wait and the fact that there is no guarantee this will work and I will actually be free.”

Oliver nodded slowly before he kissed the side of her neck and said, “You are not asking me to wait. I am telling you I will do it. You are worth the wait.”

Felicity frowned, putting her hand to his cheek and stroking her fingertips through his stubble. “Are you sure?”

“Very sure,” Oliver told her. “Apart from the fact that you are the love of my life, if this all works, we are finally really free for each other.”

Felicity nodded slowly. “Yes, that’s what I have been thinking too. I know we could have been together if we had run away from here and that your marriage with Nyssa would be illegitimate as soon as we would have crossed the border, but being together then wouldn’t have been the same. We could have never come back. If this works, we won’t have to run. We can stay here in our home and our friends and families can stay here. We can even raise our kids here without fear.”

Oliver smiled. “Our kids, hm?”

Quickly, Felicity cleared her throat, a deep blush forming on her cheeks and spreading down her neck and chest. “Well, our kids as in your kids and my kids, separately of course, not yours as in yours and mine together or-“

“No, no, no,” Oliver interrupted her with a chuckle, straightened up and kissed her lips. “Don’t ruin it. You said our kids. You meant our kids, yours and mine together.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom and shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe I did.”

Smiling, Oliver framed her face with his hands, traced her bottom lip with his thumb and kissed her once more. “Of course, you did.”

“It’s a little weird talking about children when I have to get married to someone else, though,” Felicity said with a sigh, “which reminds me that I have to go back to my engagement party.”

Oliver pressed his lips together, ignoring the twisting of his stomach at her words. When Felicity put her hand to his cheek and gave him a look, apologizing for having to cut this short with a single gaze, Oliver gave her a sad smile and nodded. He knew she had to go back even if she wanted to stay here with him.

“I’ll show you the bathroom,” Felicity suggested.

She pecked his lips shortly before she slid off the commode. They both groaned slightly when he slipped out of her. Oliver fought the arousal he felt rebuilding already and pulled his pants up his legs enough to follow Felicity into the bathroom.

Not saying a word, they cleaned themselves up. Oliver discarded the condom and took the towel Felicity had handed him to wipe away the wetness she had left on him. Felicity wiped a washcloth between her legs and shot him a short smile before she went back into the living room. Oliver finished cleaning himself up before he threw the washcloth in the laundry bin, tugged his boxer briefs and pants back into place and followed her.

While Oliver was putting his shirt and suit jacket back on, he watched Felicity. She stood in front of the mirror that hid the elevator and was trying to get her hair back into place. She had put on her dress again, but the zipper was still open, making Oliver smile.

“I guess this is a hopeless endeavor,” she sighed eventually, pulling the hairpins out of her hair again. “Damn it.”

Oliver chuckled. He stepped behind her, his clothes back in place except for the untied bowtie that was wrapped around his neck loosely. He zipped her dress and put his arms around her waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. Their gazes met in the mirror, both of them smiling sadly.

“Time to say goodbye,” Oliver whispered, the words burning in his throat.

With a sigh, Felicity turned around to him. She was a lot taller with her high heels back on. All Oliver had to do was duck his head a little for his lips to meet hers in a gentle kiss.

“It’s not a goodbye forever,” Felicity told him when their lips parted again.

“No, but it’s a goodbye for a long, long time,” he replied. He tugged a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled sadly. “It’s going to be hell not seeing you.”

“Well, technically, you will have to see me every once in a while.”

“Right,” Oliver said and almost chuckled a little bit. “Your face is in the news daily. You are America’s most known woman I guess.”

“Yeah… Ridiculous that I am more known for being engaged to Ray than for building my own company from scratch.” Felicity shook her head. “That’s not what I mean, though. There are going to be other occasions that I will have to invite friends to, and you will have to come to those too now. I think it would be too suspicious if you didn’t accompany Nyssa at least every once in a while.”

Oliver held his breath for a short moment, knowing exactly that the biggest occasion ahead of them was her wedding. Even just thinking about having to watch her getting married to another man made his stomach twist. He felt the weight of the ring box in the pocket of his pants and his fingers were twitching to touch it. Yet, he didn’t. Felicity shouldn’t know about the ring. Now was just not the time and she should focus on the task ahead of her without any distraction of a possible future.

“Alright,” Oliver replied and nodded his head. “Then I will be there.”

Felicity smiled. “I think it’s better if we try avoiding each other as much as possible, though.”

Again, Oliver nodded. He knew it was going to be easier for both of them. “Of course.”

“Will you tell the others what I told you?”

“Yes, sure.”

Felicity nodded slowly. Oliver could almost see how she was thinking about something else to say or something else to ask to delay saying goodbye. There was nothing more to say or ask, though. It was time to say goodbye and delaying it any longer would only make it harder. Oliver framed her face with his hands and angled her head back a little until their eyes met.

“I love you,” he told her, “and you are the most precious thing to me, so please be careful. I don’t want to lose you.”

Felicity smiled and nodded. She kissed him gently, her lips moving against his slowly. The kiss was sweet and full of love, but it carried the bitter taste of goodbye. Her arms wrapped around his neck, anchoring herself to her. She didn’t want to let go and neither did he. They had to, though. They had to let go. Oliver kissed the top of her hair and rubbed his hands over her back.

“I suggest that I will let you go and you will turn around and walk away or this is never going to work because we will keep holding onto the other for like forever. I will stay here a few minutes longer and then sneak onto the party.”

Felicity nodded, hiding her face against his chest for a moment. “I am going to manipulate the video surveillance in the hallway, so it will look like you followed Ray onto the party a minute later. I doubt they check on the hotel videos because Ray’s security program is hiding the cameras, but just in case.”

“Okay,” Oliver replied. He kissed her hair once more and loosened his arms around her. “And now go.”

Felicity took in a deep breath before she stepped out of his arms. Without looking at him, she turned around and opened the mirror like a door and called for the elevator. Its doors opened immediately and Felicity stepped into the cage. She kept her back turned towards him. Walking away from him had to be as hard for her as watching her walking away was for him.

As the doors started closing, Oliver felt his heart clenching painfully in his chest, aching and longing for her already. Just before the doors had closed completely, Felicity turned around to him and lifted her hand for a short wave. Oliver shot her a smile and watched the doors closing between them.

Left alone in the suite, Oliver squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and prayed for a God he wasn’t sure he believed in to protect Felicity. The last two weeks had already been hell for him. Having her back now, even if not in the way he had hoped for yet, he knew he couldn’t lose her again, not after they had made it through this. So, Felicity had to be safe. He’d pray for it every single day until she was back in his arms if necessary.


	12. When things go wrong

_ “Who are you working with?” _

_ Felicity’s heart was racing in her chest, pounding against her ribs with so much force it might break them. Her head was throbbing from the several punches she had taken so far, the swelling under her left eye pulsing in one rhythm with her headache. She blinked several times, trying to see again, but her hair was stuck to her sweat-covered face, making it hard to see. She tried to lift her hand to wipe away a strand, but it only made the handcuffs cut into her wrists even more. _

_ Despite the headache, Felicity shook her head until the hair was no longer blocking her sight. A sob escaped her as her eyes met Oliver’s. His right eye was swollen, his left one almost unfocused. He had taken a lot more of the torture than she had. His chest was heaving with his breathing, sweat mixing with blood. _

_ She knew he was being put through this to get answers out of her. If she didn’t tell them what she knew, they’d continue torturing him as hours of trying to cause first her and then Oliver pain hadn’t gotten her to speak yet. They’d kill him eventually and then kill her if she didn’t speak. She doubted the end to this would be any different if she didn’t tell him what she knew, though. Once she had told them the little she knew about Ray, the people he was working with and the plans he had, she and Oliver would both end up six feet underground where nobody would ever find their bodies. No matter what she did, she and Oliver would only be two more people on the list of fatal victims of the government. _

_ “Oliver,” Felicity whispered with a sob. _

_ She wished he could tell her what to do. Should she try to hold on, hoping that maybe someone would save them from this? Or should she give up and end their suffering? If she didn’t give away what she knew, she and Oliver would die, but at least the plan of freeing the country might live on. _

_ When Oliver’s not-swollen eye lost focus and his head dipped forward, his chin pressing to his chest, the guard who was standing close to him grabbed a handful of his hair and ripped Oliver’s head back. He groaned behind the package tape that had been put over his mouth, his healthy eye opening widely at the pain. _

_ Clincher, who had stood by the door, his hands held behind his back until now, crossed the room slowly. He stepped right in front of her, his thin lips showing a quiet smile that should probably soothe her. Instead, it just creeped her out. _

_ “Who are you working with?” her asked her. _

_ Felicity swallowed, pressing her lips together. She shot a short look to Oliver, who shook his head as much as possible with the guard’s grip on his hair. Felicity looked at him intently, giving him the chance to change his minds. The expression in his eyes stayed determined, though. Felicity looked back at Clincher, trying to give her face an expression of certainty as she shook her head despite the tears that were welling in her eyes and the panic that choked her. _

_ Clincher puckered his lips, looking at her for a moment longer. Eventually, he turned his head back over his shoulder, nodding towards the guard. Without any hesitation, the guard pulled a gun from the holster at his hip, cocked it and held it to Oliver’s temple. Oliver squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as the cold metal pressed against his skin firmly. The guard’s grip on his hair made it impossible to move his head away. _

_ “Last chance, Ms. Smoak,” Clincher told her, his voice so cold that a shiver was running down Felicity’s back, “who are you working with?” _

_ Again, Felicity looked past Clincher to Oliver. While Felicity’s entire body seemed to shake Oliver’s was just trembling slightly. Felicity looked at him, pleading for him to have any way out of this. She knew she couldn’t tell Clincher what she knew. If this plan came out, a hundred of people would die. The government would crush every possible revolt brutally, even if there was only the slightest hint that something was planned against them at all. The more plans of overthrowing they stopped, the harder their reactions would be. _

_ Felicity sobbed, looking back at Clincher. She took in a deep breath, feeling a tear escaping the corner of her eye and rolling down her cheek. Every cell of her body was filled with fear, her muscles so tense they hurt. _

_ “Nobody,” she whispered, her voice trembling as much as her body. “I am not working with anybody.” _

_ There was a long moment of silence. Clincher’s eyes stayed focused on her, his mimic unreadable. Though he didn’t look angry or particularly threatening in this moment, Felicity didn’t miss the feeling of cruelty radiating of him. She tried to breathe, but the tension filling the air made it impossible. Her blood was rushing in her ear as she waited for his reaction. _

_ “Wrong answer.” _

_ The guard pulled the trigger and- _

Felicity woke up, sitting up in bed and gasping for breath. She was panting so heavily that her chest hurt with the effort. Her face and the top of her chest were covered with sweat, drenching the top of her pajama. Her hands were clenched to fists around the sheets, holding them so tightly that her nails were digging into the palm of her hands even through the cotton. Only slowly, finger after finger, she got to let go.

“Oh my god,” Felicity whispered to herself. “Oh my god.”

She lay back down and threw the pillow she had slept on in the corner, pulling a different one closer. She pressed her face into the cool cotton, silencing the sobs that fell from her lips. Her body was trembling as wild as it had in her dream even when the panic it had left her with started to cease.

After her engagement party two weeks ago, Felicity had thought it would get a little easier for her. With the impending danger of revolting against the government, knowing her friends and the man she loved knew the truth and did no longer believe that she was a heartless bitch had been a relief. She had known that it was stupid because she was facing much greater dangers, but it did mean a lot to her that the people she cared about knew the truth now.

At first, it had really helped her. Felicity had felt a little more at ease and with everything Oliver had told her, she had dared to dream of a future with him. In her dreams, the constitution was changed, the current marriage laws abandoned and the country brought back to freedom and peace. She would go to Oliver. They would take off their rings – Felicity her engagement ring and Oliver his wedding band – and kiss and make love to each other, now fully belonging to each other and nobody else. Eventually, after some time had passed, they would plan their further future now that they had one together again.

Those wonderful dreams had changed suddenly when Ray had surprisingly become vice president last week. Nielson, the previous vice president, had been diagnosed with cancer and decided to lay down his office even before the election. While Ray’s new position brought them even closer to their aim it did increase the pressure on them. Every move they made was watched and every wrong turn could reveal their plans.

Felicity took in a deep breath and sat back up in bed once more, moving her hands through her hair. The dangers they were in were chasing her in her dreams lately. Either she was tortured or Oliver was tortured or they both were tortured and more often than not the both of them or at least one of them ended up dead. Felicity wished she could meet Oliver and get lost the gentleness of his touch again or at least call him and ask how he was doing and let him assure her that everything was going to be fine, but she knew she couldn’t. The more distance there was between her and Oliver, the more protected he was.

With a deep sigh, Felicity crawled out of bed. She strolled to the bathroom, took off her clothes and dropped them in the laundry bin. When she stepped under the shower and the hot stream of water pelted down on her, Felicity closed her eyes and enjoyed the brief moment of relaxation.

There was a gala of Ray’s foundation to support the education of highly intelligent children from poorer families next week. She had invited her friends to it, so she was almost sure she would see Oliver there too. Felicity didn’t know if it would help her seeing him or if having him right in her reach and not being able to hug him and kiss him was going to make it worse. For now, she was looking forward to seeing him again, though. She really needed to see him and know he was okay.

After some long minutes under the shower, when Felicity finally felt the most of her fear and tension the nightmare had left her with had faded, she toweled herself, put on some underwear and wrapped herself in a dressing gown. She combed her hair and tied it up to a messy bun. Slipping into her panda slippers, she left her bedroom and walked towards the dining room.

She was only glad they were still living in Ray’s mansion where they were safe. They were protected by his private security rather than agents from the Secret Service. Ray trusted them, so Felicity knew she could trust them too. There were also no cameras in the entire building, hence, nothing the government could hack to observe them. Once they were married, Felicity knew they would have to move to Washington, though. Living in the White House would leave them with no choice but to keep up their charade every single second of the day. They’d sleep in one bed and would never talk about their plans there again.

Today was not that day yet though, Felicity thought to herself.

When she stepped into the dining room, Ray was already sitting at the large table. He was reading the newspaper, lost in the article he was reading there. He didn’t even have an eye for the delicious food that had been served for them. Their cook meant well for them apparently since apart from croissants, pancakes, waffles, donuts and three kinds of eggs, there were also a dozen of other delicacies served for them too.

“Morning,” Felicity said quietly.

She sat down on the table next to Ray where a place setting had been set for her and looked at the breakfast. She wasn’t really hungry. She had lost almost all her appetite once she had moved in here. Since Ray had given her a long speech about how important it was that she maintained her health, Felicity put some scrambled eggs on her plate and started eating.

It took another minute before Ray folded the newspaper and put it on the tabletop next to him. He released a low sigh before he lifted his gaze to look at her face. While he was scrutinizing her critically, a frown spread on his forehead and he narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Everything alright?” he asked her.

“Sure,” Felicity replied, casting him a brief smile. “I’m fine.”

“You had another nightmare, didn’t you?” he asked.

Felicity bit down on her tongue. She didn’t know how he did it, but Ray was reading in her like in a book. It was almost a little annoying.

Since she had met Ray a little more than four weeks ago, she had come to realize that on paper Ray might indeed be the right guy for her. They shared the same interests. They had the same sense of humor a lot of the times. They shared the same values, even though that was something the government couldn’t have taken in account. Ray was also kind of handsome. On paper, they might actually be the perfect people for each other. It didn’t change the fact that her heart belonged fully and inevitably to Oliver.

“I am fine,” Felicity just repeated. When Ray cocked his head, Felicity quickly nodded to the newspaper and asked, “Anything interesting?”

“Depends on what you think is interesting I guess,” Ray replied with a sigh.

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “That doesn’t sound good.”

She knew that the government had trouble with some rebels. Politicians and their families were attacked more often now that the elections were coming closer. While most attacks had been strictly verbal or minor incidents with little physical force, they were getting more brutal. Felicity understood what drove the rebels to attack the politicians since for them violence seemed to be the only way to shatter the unjust system. Yet, Felicity knew that history taught violence had never caused anything else than repercussions of more violence. Every attacker was arrested and executed, the security and surveillance guidelines increased.

“Do you remember Ian Loring?” he asked.

Felicity frowned. “The guy who took over your position?”

Ray nodded. “He backed out.”

When her hand started shaking, Felicity put her fork away and pulled a leg to her chest, hugging it. It was almost giving her a feeling of safety as a little part of the world around her threatened to crumble.

“Why?” Felicity asked almost in a whisper. “You are so close to the crunch mode. Why did he back out now?”

“Because we are getting so close to the crunch mode,” Ray replied, screwing up his face a little at the choice of words he had taken over from her. He shook his head and tore his hair. “He is scared. He is happily married and has kids, grandkids even. With the rebels attacking family members of politicians, the government is increasing their surveillance. It’s almost impossible to meet up with anyone without their knowledge, so I don’t even get the chance to convince anyone who is doubting to keep this going. I understand that they are worried the betrayal will come out, but the more people back out of this, the less chances we have of succeeding.”

“Yeah.” Felicity nodded. “Never mind the risk that someone gets so scared they will tell about the plans.”

“I hope we will at least be spared of that.”

Felicity nodded slowly. She knew that the plan still rested on unsound footing. There weren’t a lot of people who wanted to actively be part of taking over the government. They feared what would happen to them or their loved once if their cover blew. Everyone wanted a change, but nobody wanted to risk anything to get it.

With a frustrated groan, Ray got up from his chair. He started pacing up and down the room nervously. Felicity’s eyes followed his movements, watching him intently. Only now she realized that he must have had a sleepless night too.

“I know I have good chances right now,” Ray explained, continuing his quick pacing. “The government trusts me and they love the love story they get to spin around us. That just won’t help me if I don’t have the support of my people once I am president. Without backup, my hands are basically tied behind my back.”

“You need someone new in the party.”

“Yes,” Ray replied with a snort. “Unfortunately, I can’t just go around and ask people if they are interested in revolting against the government. It’s not that easy. Most people don’t dare to say they don’t agree with their politics anyway, so it’s not worth the risk of catching a Tartar. And even if I find someone who agrees to help, it’s almost impossible to just get them into the party. They need to be well-educated and can’t have had trouble with the police before. Ideally, they would be married and have experience with politics, but those people rarely ever work against the government. They are too privileged and actively or passively supporting it and-“

Ray stopped his frustrated rant and turned around to Felicity, looking at her for a long moment. He was out of breath, his head red. With a long sigh, he rubbed his hands over his face.

“I am sorry,” he said eventually. “I am really sorry, Felicity. I didn’t mean to take this out on you. I am frustrated and you are the one who deserves to be at the receiving end of this the least. If it wasn’t for you, I could have probably forgotten my candidacy already. I am really sorry.”

Felicity didn’t really listen to his apology. She knew the pressure that was on him since she herself had felt in the last couple of weeks. Because of that, his rant just didn’t matter to her.

“You can’t just go around and ask people if they are interested in revolting against the government,” Felicity repeated Ray’s words.

“Would be like Russian Roulette,” Ray replied.

Felicity nodded slowly. “What if we get someone into the party whose stance we already know?”

Ray sighed. He stepped behind the chair closest to him and put his hands to the backrest. For a long moment, he just watched her.

“Felicity, you can’t get Oliver into the party. He-“

“No, I know,” Felicity interrupted him quickly and shook her head. “I know he wouldn’t be a suitable candidate. As a college dropout who is leading a nightclub he hasn’t the education to be accepted. Besides, his father died in the presence of his mistress and his mother was killed because she was working against the government.”

Felicity frowned, her heart skipping a painful beat. She hadn’t even thought about that for quite some time.

“Do you think it was a bad idea to invite Oliver to more occasions?” Felicity asked. “I thought since he has been there one time, it was safer if he made appearances more often. With his backstory-“

Ray shook his head. “Technically, Oliver himself is not considered a threat. Since he got off the island, he wasn’t interesting to the government anymore. There was never anything detected about him personally. It’s okay to be friends with him, but if he engaged in politics, that would be too much.”

Felicity nodded to herself slowly. Even with Ray’s assurance, she almost wished she hadn’t suggested Oliver would attend any appointments with Nyssa. She doubted she would be able to even look at him when they ran into each other during the next occasion.

“Who have you been thinking of?” Ray asked her eventually.

“Hm?” Felicity asked, her thoughts still centered around what would happen if Clincher or anyone else linked Oliver to Moira and Robert. She quickly shook her head, shaking the thought off. “Sorry, what?”

“I got the feeling you had someone we know in mind to support our plan,” Ray replied.

Felicity nodded. “Laurel Lance.”

“The lawyer?” Ray asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Exactly,” Felicity replied. “She was born into a good family. Her mother is professor in Central City, so she was well-educated. As a lawyer, she has got a good job and knows a little about politics. She is also happily married, yet against the current system, at least secretly. I doubt she has any connections to rebels or anything like that, so she should be unsuspicious for the government.”

Ray nodded slowly. “A good combination.”

“Absolutely,” Felicity replied. “And I trust her.”

Ray nodded once more. “I will talk to her later today.”

“She will probably be at her office.”

“Okay,” Ray replied. With a glance at his watch, he sighed. “I gotta go to the office now. I will probably be back late today. What are your plans for the day? Any work to do?”

“A lot,” Felicity replied with a sigh. “I won’t get any work done today, though.”

“Wedding preparations?” Ray asked.

Felicity smiled forcedly. “Our beloved president wants to make sure everything is perfect for the wedding and asked Mrs. Hoffman as well as two other wives and an additional wedding planner to take a look at our plans and how to enhance them. They have been calling me every day last week to make half a dozen appointments with people I don’t care about to make our wedding the perfect media frenzy.”

Ray grinned amusedly. As he headed out, he said back over his shoulder, “I have never felt luckier to have a busy job that would keep people from even daring to ask me to take time for that.”

“I have a busy job too!” Felicity called after him, but she didn’t get any reaction. She poured herself a mug of coffee, grumbling to herself, “It’s just that everyone seems to forget about that and tries to make being the next president’s wife-to-be my new job.”

 

 

“Hey, boss, did you take care of the beverage order?” Roy called from the dancefloor downstairs. “We are running out of basically everything, so if you don’t want the motto of our party tomorrow to be  _ Running dry _ , maybe ramping up wouldn’t hurt.”

“Already on my way to the office,” Oliver replied from the gallery. He had the door handle in his hand already when he turned back around to Roy once more. “I think Tommy invited a few new DJs for an audition this afternoon. Can you take care of that?”

“Sure.” Roy nodded. Putting his hands on his hips, he took two steps closer. “Have you heard anything from Tommy yet?”

Oliver sighed. Tommy had texted him last minute yesterday, asking him to go to Verdant since he had trouble at home. He hadn’t replied to Oliver’s question what was going on, though. Today, Oliver had just gone out for a run when Roy had called him and told him Tommy had stood them up for the usual team meeting they had before important events. Again, Oliver had texted Tommy and asked what was going on. Again, he hadn’t received an answer. He had tried calling him several times now, but the calls always went straight to voicemail.

“Not yet,” Oliver answered. “I am taking care of the beverage order now and pay Tommy a visit after that.”

“Do you think it’s something bad?”

Oliver rubbed his thumb against the other fingertips nervously. He wanted to believe that it wasn’t. Given Tommy was complying with the law since he got married to a woman he had fallen madly in love with, he shouldn’t have gotten into trouble with the authorities. On the other hand, with Felicity’s engagement with Palmer, Oliver was sure her friends were screened for loyalty thoroughly. What if something had come out about Tommy’s past, the time before he had fallen in love with Laurel?

“Let’s not assume the worst before it happened,” Oliver suggested, knowing his past had been a thousand time worse. If the government would interrogate one of Felicity’s friends, it would be him.  _ Friends _ , thought annoyed, but pushed the thought away quickly. “I am sure it’s nothing.”

Roy nodded. “Okay.”

Not having anything more to say, Oliver turned back around and opened the door to his office. As soon as he had stepped inside, he stopped and frowned, though. Tommy was sitting behind the desk, his eyes fixated on the screen of the computer.

“Where have you been?” Oliver asked, letting the door fall shut behind him. “I have texted you and tried to call you. You missed the team meeting this morning and-“

“Sorry, I had a little argument with Laurel,” Tommy replied, still not looking at Oliver. He grabbed some papers from the desk and held them out for him, his eyes still focused on what he was reading on the monitor. “I have taken care of the beverage order. You should check it, though.”

Oliver frowned about his friend’s absentmindedness. He took the order, still looking at Tommy. He doubted that he had skipped two days of work because of an argument with his wife. Even when it had seemed like Felicity had willingly left him to get married to Palmer, Oliver had come to work. He hadn’t been any help. He had probably even put some people off, especially women who had tried to comfort him by hitting on him shamelessly, but he had been here.

“Tommy, don’t you want to tell me what’s going on?” Oliver asked. “And better don’t say nothing because this crappy beverage order gives you away.”

Tommy hesitated for a moment before he released a long sigh. He rubbed his hands over his face and turned around to Oliver. Looking at his friend now, he noticed that Tommy looked almost as tired as Oliver felt and that should be impossible. Since Felicity had left him, he hadn’t slept for more than three hours a night. He was waking up covered in sweat and gasping for breath. His nights usually left him with terrible panic of losing Felicity after hours of torture because he didn’t give away the little he knew about Palmer’s plans, knowing they’d kill her anyway.

Sometimes he got lucky and his dreams gave him the present of wonderful thoughts he hoped would turn to memories eventually. He dreamed of what would happen if Palmer’s plans succeeded and a new constitution would be established. Felicity would come to him. They would be together again and maybe one day it was the right time to tell her about the ring that was in the pocket of his pants now. He had carried it with him everywhere he had gone since Felicity’s engagement party.

“So,” Oliver said, sitting down on the chair opposite from Tommy and leaning back with a sigh, “tell me all about the burden of living with the woman you are madly in love with who coincidently also happens to be your wife.”

Tommy shot him a look and though Oliver had meant it as a joke, he didn’t grin. Now that the words were said, they just ripped open the wound about not being able to be close to Felicity once more. He doubted it would heal properly as long as Felicity wasn’t back by his side and their future was home and hosed.

“Well, how about you tell me all about what it’s like to have the love of your life fight the government instead,” Tommy asked, “since it seems like our ladies decided to ally which means we will soon be in the same boat.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows. After the engagement party, he had told their friends about what Felicity had told him. They had had a thousand questions. Most of them Oliver hadn’t been able to answer. Yet, he knew it had calmed them down as much as it had calmed him down. They had all agreed to go to the events Felicity would invite them to, but nobody had said they would be actively doing anything apart from that.

“What does that mean?” Oliver asked. “How are they allying? It’s not like Laurel can get married to someone in the party.”

“No, that she can’t do,” Tommy replied. “Instead, she is actively joining the party.”

“Why?” Oliver asked, frowning.

Tommy shrugged his shoulder. “Ray Palmer came to us yesterday morning. He said a lot of people are backing out because it’s getting closer to the elections. Too many people are scared that the whole thing gets busted before they get to change the law and take over the country. They need more people to get into the party, but they need a certain education and a low profile. According to Ray Palmer, Felicity suggested Laurel.”

Oliver nodded slowly. He almost wished he had a better education and was coming from a different family. Maybe he could have joined the party and helped then. Sitting around and waiting was driving him crazy. Felicity was risking her life for their future and so many others’ futures. All he did was sitting here and waiting for her. He wished he could do something to help her.

“Laurel is probably the right person to do this,” Oliver agreed with a sigh. “You have to be very proud of her.”

“Proud?” Tommy asked. “Are you kidding? I could freak out.”

Oliver frowned. “Why? You don’t want to tell me that you are suddenly agreeing with what they are doing, right?”

“Of course not,” Tommy replied, frowning angrily. “I want a new, fairer government and a new constitution. I am amazed by what Felicity is doing to make it happen. I just don’t understand why Laurel has to do it. This is dangerous and we were thinking about starting a family. This is going to throw all of our plans back for years. There are so many people in this country, why Laurel out of all people?”

Oliver didn’t reply immediately, wondering how to say what he was thinking without alienating his friend completely. He understood where Tommy was coming from. For a few moments, he had felt the same way when Felicity had told him about her plans. He had soon realized how wrong thinking like that was, though.

“It’s easy for you to talk,” Oliver said slowly. “You are married to the person you love. Do you know how many millions aren’t that lucky? Look at me. I am married to a woman who’s in love with another woman. Nyssa knows who’s the one for her. I know who’s the one for me. Yet, neither Nyssa nor I can act on that because of the law.”

“I understand that, but-“

“I know neither Laurel nor you support the system. I also know that engaging in what Felicity and Palmer and whoever else is working with them is doing, is putting a high danger on them, so it’s putting Laurel into danger too now. For you that might seem like an unnecessary risk because you and Laurel have a great life. For us others, what they are doing is a light of hope in a really, really dark reality. Just think about the kids you want to have. They might not be as lucky as you are.”

Tommy looked at Oliver for a long moment before he dropped his head onto his hands on the tabletop. He scratched his fingers over his scalp before he lifted his head again and looked at Oliver.

“I know all that and I am sorry,” Tommy said. “I know what they are doing is the right thing to do. It’s just that Laurel presented me with a fait accompli. After Palmer left, I wanted to discuss this with her, but she just told me that she was going to do it like I don’t have any right to say something about it. This is dangerous after all and if I lose her…”

Tommy stopped and closed his eyes, shaking his head. He didn’t need to finish the sentence for Oliver to know what he meant. He knew the feeling since Felicity was in the middle of the storm that was coming for the government.

“I know,” Oliver whispered. “It’s not easy to deal with a fear like that.”

“Of course it’s necessary,” Tommy replied. “This craziness has to stop. Besides, it’s only a few months until it’s all over. It will be worth it, right?”

Oliver nodded slowly. “I hope so. At least that’s what I am telling myself too. Otherwise I am not sure I would be able to make it through. I miss Felicity like crazy. At least you can support Laurel actively. All I can do is, watch her on the news while she is supporting her future-husband. I’d do everything to have Felicity close with me and make sure she knows how amazed I am by everything she is doing and encourage her to keep going despite the nightmares I have.”

“Yeah,” Tommy sighed and nodded. “She met up with Palmer, Clincher and some other politicians yesterday. Apparently, they were so delighted about her, they are already giving a press conference to say she is joining into the active part of the party. I have no idea if she is getting a special position or what exactly she will do now. I… I have no idea from politics to be honest. Now I regret not going with her.”

“You should probably go home and talk to her when she gets back to tell her you are supporting her no matter what,” Oliver suggested. “I am going to take care of everything else here in the meantime.”

“You’re sure?” Tommy asked.

“It’s a good distraction,” Oliver replied. “My girl is saving the world, while I am leading a nightclub.”

“I guess if this was a romantic comedy, we’d be the guys whose only purpose is to be a love interest,” Tommy explained. “I feel more like being caught in a melodrama or a thriller than a romantic comedy, though.”

Oliver chuckled. “Let’s hope there will be a happy end then.”

“We would definitely deserve that,” Tommy replied. He lifted his hand for a short wave and walked towards the door. The door handle already in his hand, he turned around to Oliver once more. “Now that you and Felicity are staying here, you could actually give me my car back.”

“I think I am going to keep it,” Oliver replied, pulling the keys out of the pocket of his pants. He played with them before he pushed them back into his pocket. “Let’s just say it’s an early Christmas present.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “I wanted to get another one anyway. It actually gives me the right excuse and-“

When the door was torn open and Thea came running inside, Oliver got up from his chair.

“Why is neither of you answering your phones?” she asked, completely out of breath.

Oliver quickly patted the pockets of his pants. He could feel the keys and the ring box as wells as his wallet in the back pocket. Apart from that, there was nothing more. He must have forgotten it at home.

Before he got to voice that, though, Thea said, “It doesn’t matter anyway. Did you watch the news?”

Oliver’s heart skipped a beat. Hadn’t Laurel asked them the same thing when Felicity and Palmer had officially announced their engagement? He tried to swallow, but the thick lump in his throat made it hard to.

“What happened?” he asked.

“There was a shooting during the press conference. Several people got hurt, some killed and-”

“Is Laurel okay?” Tommy asked immediately.

“Yes, she called me and told me about it actually,” Thea replied hurriedly. “She is at the hospital, though. President Clincher is dead and-“

“So, Ray Palmer is becoming president?” Tommy interrupted her once more.

Thea nodded. Before any joy about the success could settle – not that Oliver could have felt any since every cell of his body felt there was some really bad news impending upon them – she added, “But that doesn’t matter right now. Laurel wasn’t the only one there. Felicity was there too.”

Oliver saw Tommy turning his head to him and looking at him. Oliver’s own gaze was still fixated on Thea, though. He wanted to ask if Felicity was okay. He wanted to hear that she was safe and everything was going to be fine. He didn’t dare to ask, though. He didn’t want to face the pain when things hadn’t gone well.

“What is with Felicity?” Tommy finally asked breathlessly. “Is she okay?”

Oliver didn’t need to hear the answer. He could see it in Thea’s face. No, Felicity was not okay.

“Is she dead?” he asked, the words almost getting stuck in his throat.

“No,” Thea replied quickly, shaking her head, “but she was shot and Laurel says it’s bad. Ollie, I think it’s really bad.”

And just like that, Oliver’s nightmares seemed to have come true.


	13. Nothing else matters

“Where is she?”

Tommy quickly walked past him, grabbing Laurel by her shoulders and pulling her against him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, holding her and kissing her temple. Laurel sniffled, pulling the blanket that was wrapped around her body closer. He hands tightened in the back of Tommy’s shirt while she was dropping her head to his shoulder.

“Are you alright?” Tommy whispered, his voice giving away how worried he had been during their drive to the hospital. When Laurel didn’t answer, he framed her face with his hands, wiped away the tears on her cheeks and looked at her intently. “Are you okay? Are you alright?”

Laurel nodded. “I’m fine. I’m just… in shock.”

As if that was all he had needed to hear, Tommy wrapped his arms back around Laurel, almost crushing her to his chest. While she was crying at his shoulder, Tommy whispered words of comfort into her ear. Eventually, he dipped his head forward and closed his eyes.

Oliver bit down on his tongue, rubbing his thumb against the other fingertips frantically. He wanted to give his best friend and his wife this moment. He even wanted to feel happy for them. Every cell of his body was distracted by the tension of not knowing how Felicity was doing, though. He wanted to have what Tommy had gotten, the moment of seeing Felicity again, knowing she was fine and crushing her to his chest.

Since Thea had told them it was looking bad and they had rushed to the hospital, a thousand different scenarios had played out in Oliver’s head. Thea’s words –  _ I think it’s really bad  _ – could mean a thousand different things. Maybe it had looked worse than it actually was and Felicity was fine after she had received some medical care. Maybe it was really bad, but thanks to some great medical care, she was going to be fit again in no time. Maybe she would be left with some long-term injury and would need some rehabilitation measure to exhaust all possibilities of her new life. Or maybe she’d die.

That last though choked Oliver. It was like a hand wrapped around his throat and started clenching to a fist, making it unable to breathe. His chest was burning with the need for air, but he just couldn’t do anything against it.

When Thea stepped next to him, putting a hand to his arm and looking at him soothingly, Oliver finally got to suck in a breath. It didn’t ease the tension in his chest, but it allowed him to shake off the paralyze he had been caught in. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, getting a hold of himself.

“Where is Felicity?” Oliver asked again.

Laurel took in a sniffling breath and loosened herself from Tommy’s hug. She sat back down on one of the chairs at the wall. Tommy took the seat beside her, holding one of her hands in both of his comfortingly. Laurel took in a deep breath before looking at Oliver.

“She is still in surgery,” she told him.

Oliver felt his heart stumbling in his chest for a moment for no rational reason. He should have known that a surgery after being shot at was taking longer than the ride from Verdant to the hospital. Or had she been in surgery for longer now since Laurel hadn’t reached Tommy or him and Thea had to- Oliver shook his head, shaking off the chaos in his head.

“What exactly happened?” he asked, his voice not louder than a whisper. “How did this happen?”

“We’ve been on the stairs before City Hall for a press conference,” Laurel explained. “I… uhm… Ray Palmer asked me to-“

“I know,” Oliver interrupted her quickly. “What happened then?”

“Clincher was shot. It took a moment until we actually realized what was happening. He just stopped speaking and passed out. There was blood on his chest,” Laurel told them. Her gaze was unfocused, her eyes almost empty as if she was seeing the scene in front of her eyes. “Then everything was going so fast. Everyone panicked. People were screaming and some tried to run away, but there were more shots fired. They came from a close building I think.”

Oliver swallowed, trying to suppress the heavy feeling that spread in his chest. His life had been threatened often enough to know how panicked they must have felt. He wished he had been there to wrap Felicity in his arms and protect her from that, using his body to shield her.

“And then?”

“The shots stopped eventually,” Laurel said. “It took a moment until we dared to get up. Some people had been hit with a bullet. I think some of them died right there.”

“And Felicity?” Oliver asked.

“She was lying on the stairs,” Laurel replied. “I hurried towards her and at first she sat up and just held her head. I thought she had bumped it against the edge of a step when she had lain down.”

“But she didn’t,” Oliver whispered, nothing that part would come. When Laurel lowered her gaze and shook her head, he asked, “So, what happened?”

“Give her a moment,” Tommy asked him urgently, casting Oliver a slightly angry glare. “She is in shock.”

“Yes, she is in shock and Felicity is in surgery and can’t tell me what happened to her, so-“

“If you want to make it Laurel’s fault that she didn’t get shot while Felicity did-“

When Tommy let go of Laurel’s hand and got up, taking a threatening step towards Oliver, Thea stepped between the two of them quickly. She shook her head warningly. Oliver released a frustrated groan and paced up and down the hallway quickly, giving vent to his anger for a moment. Taking in a deep breath, he stepped in front of Laurel and Tommy again.

“I am sorry,” he said even if he wasn’t sure he fully meant it yet. “I just need to know what happened to Felicity.”

“Yes, but that is not reason to-“

Laurel tugged at Tommy’s hand, casting him a look. He still looked like he was biting back some words of anger, but Laurel’s wordless pleading seemed to be enough for him to sit back down.

“For a moment, she looked like she was trying to get up on her feet, but then there was blood coming out of her mouth,” Laurel explained. “I opened her coat. A bullet hit her shoulder. Another one was on the right side of her chest and one close to her hip. It was terrible.”

Oliver tore his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. All he could see was Felicity’s blood-covered body, her face pale and her eyes empty, though. He rubbed his hands over his face almost violently, trying to chase away the thoughts. Felicity wasn’t dead yet and he wouldn’t give up believing that she would make it. Felicity was one of the strongest people he knew. There was no way she would die now.

“How long has she been in surgery now?” Oliver asked.

“Since we came here,” Laurel replied. She quickly shot a look at her watch. “For an hour maybe. I tried to call you and Tommy, but-”

“We didn’t have our phones,” Tommy explained. “I am so sorry. We should have been here sooner.”

Laurel cast him a short smile and Tommy put his arm around her. He pulled her closer until she leaned against him, resting his head under her chin and closed her eyes with an exhausted sigh. Oliver watched them for a moment before he turned around and stared at the opposite wall. He felt tempted to punch his fist against it, but he knew he’d get in trouble with security and be forced to leave which was the last he wanted. He wanted to be here when the doctors came with news about Felicity. He wanted to see her the minute she got out of surgery, so he could hold her hand and ask her to hold on.

“Did someone call Nyssa and Sara or Lyla?” Thea asked eventually, cutting through the silence. “They should probably know. I am sure Lyla would want to come here, too.”

“I… uhm… no, I didn’t call them,” Laurel replied, sitting back up straight. “I can do that and-“

“No, I will take care of that,” Thea assured her and cast her a smile. She touched Oliver’s forearm shortly. “I will be right back.”

When Oliver paced up and down the hallway once more, he caught sight of the TV that was hung up on one of the walls. The show that would have usually aired had been interrupted for breaking news it seemed. Everyone in the waiting room was staring at the screen while a news reporter was informing them what had happened. They showed the attack from all possible perspectives since the dozens of reporters that had been present had caught the attack with their cameras thoroughly.

Oliver watched Felicity coiling herself up behind the ambo on the stairs. She held her hands over her head, protecting it from the attack. He couldn’t see the moment the bullets hit her and he was glad he didn’t. He wasn’t sure if could take it. He watched how more and more shots were fired until the attack stopped. People started moving, some of them leaning over injured men and women or dead bodies. He watched Laurel hurrying towards her from where she had sought protection behind a pillar. Felicity talked to her for a moment before, just like Laurel had told him, blood came from Felicity’s mouth and she lost consciousness. Oliver watched Laurel sliding behind Felicity, holding her while calling for help.

His heart felt heavy, the fear paralyzing him. The video had been unsteady, so he hadn’t been able to see every detail. What he had seen was enough to know that it really had been bad, though.

Oliver lifted his gaze to the ceiling like he could look right through the floors over him and to heaven. He still wasn’t sure he believed in God, especially not in a God that would allow Felicity, who had decided to put her own happiness back to free people that were suppressed by this dictatorship here, to get hurt. He knew Felicity was Jewish and believed in a God, so he just hoped her God would hear him when he asked for her to survive.

He was about to start pacing once more when his eyes found the screen again. He stopped, feeling his fear suddenly replaced with burning anger. While Felicity crawled behind the ambo, staying crouched down to not provide the attackers with a target, Palmer’s bodyguards came running. While two of them fired shots, trying to fight back the attackers, two others took Palmer between them and took him somewhere safe.

Ray Palmer had allowed his bodyguards to save him, while Felicity had been left to take care of herself. Now she was in surgery, fighting for her life. And where was he?

Oliver turned to Laurel and, not caring that she was dozing against Tommy’s shoulder, he asked with loud voice, “Where is Palmer?”

Laurel’s head lifted from Tommy’s shoulder. Her eyes wandered about for a short moment like she was trying to find out where she was. When her eyes met Oliver’s, she blinked a few times and then answered, “I am not sure. After the shooting, he came to Felicity and me and… I am not sure… I think I saw him when I got into the ambulance with Felicity, but I am not sure.”

“So, he didn’t make sure Felicity was okay?” Oliver asked.

“He did,” Laurel replied. “Like I said, he was there for a moment. I think he had to stay to become president right there, though. I am not sure.”

“Why does that it even matter?” Tommy asked. “I doubt Felicity would want him here. I am sure if there is someone she wants to see when she is out of surgery, it will be you.”

“It’s not about that,” Oliver said angrily. “This is about the fact that Palmer is the one who got her in this situation. If he hadn’t pulled her into this danger-“

“Felicity chose this herself,” Laurel said soothingly. She leaned her head back against the wall with an exhausted sigh. “Palmer is the one who might have suggested the idea, but Felicity was the one to make the decision. She knew what she was getting herself into. Just like I did. The only one who can be blamed are the people who took over and maintained the political system these last decades. They are at fault that people are so desperate they shoot politicians as a way to gain freedom and accept that wrong people can turn to victims.”

Oliver clenched his teeth. He knew in the back of his mind that Laurel was right. Felicity was her own person and she made her own choices. She had known there were rebels and yet she had joined Palmer’s plan. Since it was impossible to be mad at her, he just wanted to be mad at Palmer, though.

“That doesn’t change the fact that he was the one who probably asked her to go to this press conference and who cowardly let his bodyguards help him into safety while Felicity has been left alone there,” Oliver replied angrily. “If he is the hero he is probably being celebrated as in a few hours or days or whenever, he wouldn’t have let his bodyguards take care of him when Felicity was still in danger.”

“That would have probably been the heroic thing to do,” Laurel whispered, “but who’s heroic when being in a life-threatening situation?”

“Besides, if Palmer had died, wouldn’t have everything been for nothing?” Tommy asked.

“I don’t care!” Oliver yelled. When some heads turned around to him, he took a step forward, lowering his voice to an angry whisper. “I don’t care about any of this. I should have never let Felicity do this. I should have convinced her that it was a crazy idea and asked her to run away with me. How could I be so stupid to trust Palmer to take care of her? I should have known that he would drop her the moment it was easier for him. I mean he didn’t help you either, did he? Or do you see him here anywhere, trying to figure out if there is anything he can do to-“

“Ollie?” Oliver stopped and turned around to Thea, who was coming closer. She held a hand over the mouthpiece of her phone, holding it out for him. “It’s Mr. Palmer.”

Oliver took the phone though he had trouble keeping his grip loose enough to not crash it in his hands. He wanted to yell at Palmer, ask him what was wrong with him that he was putting his own safety over the one of the person who had joined his crazy plan to help him and now wasn’t even here to check if she was alright. Clenching his teeth, he lifted the phone to his ear, not saying a word.

“Oliver, I tried to call you, but you didn’t pick up, so I figured calling your sister would be the best shot,” Palmer said. “How is Felicity doing? Is she out of surgery?”

“No,” Oliver replied, his anger keeping him from saying much more. “At least nobody has told us anything.”

“Call me as soon as you know more,” Ray asked.

“How about you get your ass here and wait with us?” Oliver asked angrily.

“I would, but-“

“You do know this is your fault, right?” Oliver interrupted him, Laurel’s words already forgotten. “Felicity joint into this plan because you asked her to. She stood next to you to promote your terribly fake love story when she was shut at. And instead of helping her and making sure she was safe, you let your bodyguards get you somewhere safe while Felicity continued to be in the line of fire.”

“I tried to tell them so save her first,” Ray told him quickly. “I told them she was the priority. I know she was only in the line of fire because of me. The protocol demands to save-“

“I swear to God if Felicity doesn’t make it out of this,” Oliver whispered with threateningly quiet voice and his words actually made his stomach twist painfully, “I will make sure everyone knows what kind of person you are and that Felicity died just because of you. You will definitely not get to be celebrated as the hero of this story and-“

“I don’t want to be the hero of this story,” Ray interrupted him. His voice was a lot more serious and determined more. “I just want this country to get a shot of freedom and piece it didn’t get since these marriage laws have been adopted. It’s never been about me. It’s solely about this country and the people that live here. They are what matters to me right now.”

“Well, for me it’s Felicity,” Oliver replied. “Nothing else matters but her.”

“You can be sure that Felicity is in my thoughts every single second until I know she is okay,” Palmer told him, his voice sounding tense but also like he was giving a speech in front of reporters. “Right now, there is nothing I can do for her, though. It won’t make any change if I am at the hospital or not. What I can do is make sure that Felicity’s commitment wasn’t for nothing. I can take care of the politics.”

Oliver grumbled, forcing himself to bite back a comment. Palmer would of course try to make it about Felicity. Oliver almost hoped he would choke on his good intentions to make sure Felicity’s commitment wasn’t for nothing as he had said.

“I need to talk to Laurel,” Palmer said eventually, clearing his throat. “Please.”

Oliver held the phone out for Laurel, who frowned at him. Oliver just shrugged his shoulders, so she took the phone.

“Will he come here?” Thea asked, stepping closer to him.

“No,” Oliver replied, almost spitting the word out. “He has to change the world. That’s more important than Felicity right now.”

Thea rubbed her hand up and down Oliver’s back. “There isn’t anything he could do for her anyway. We just have to wait.”

Oliver hated that Thea was saying it. He knew she was right, but he wanted to stay mad at Palmer and hate him for not coming here to check how Felicity was doing. The hate was a lot easier to bear than his fear of losing Felicity.

“Did you reach the others?” Oliver asked eventually.

“Yes. Nyssa and Sara are already on their way. Lyla has to find someone to take care of Andria, but she is coming here as soon as she found someone,” Thea replied. “I am sure Felicity is going to be okay.”

“I really hope so,” Oliver whispered.

“Well, Felicity is strong,” Thea assured him. “If someone can make it, it’s her.”

“I just wished someone would come here and actually tell us how her current condition is.”

“Do you want me to go and find someone?”

Oliver lifted his eyes to Thea’s. “You would?”

“Sure.” Thea smiled. She hugged her brother, wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled her face to his chest. “We lost a lot of people, but I promise you that you won’t lose Felicity.”

Oliver put his arms around his sister’s shoulders. “You shouldn’t make promises that you can’t keep.”

Thea hesitated a moment before she leaned her head back and told him, “I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes I think that mom and dad are watching us. It comforts me thinking that they are looking down at us from heaven and trying to make sure we are okay. I think they know how much Felicity means to you. They won’t let this happen.”

Oliver smiled at his little sister. They had been through a lot with the loss of both their parents and everything else. He didn’t know if he’d still be alive today if it wasn’t for her. He certainly would have given up a thousand times already if he hadn’t known his little sister needed him. Sometimes he forgot that he needed her at least just that much.

“It’s not stupid,” he told her. “It’s a comforting thought. Thank you.”

He hugged his sister once more, letting her comfort him. Only when Laurel wiped away her tears and got up, putting the blanket away and grabbing her purse, he let go of Thea.

“I have to go,” Laurel said and handed Thea her phone back. “Ray wants to undertake the change in the constitution as well as in other laws already.”

“He isn’t even officially proclaimed president,” Thea replied.

“I guess he doesn’t want to give any interviews before he can tell people that this nightmare is finally over,” Laurel replied.

“And he thinks it will work?” Tommy asked. “Months of preparations got lost with Clincher’s death.”

Laurel shrugged her shoulders. “He thinks now that the president is dead, a lot more people will vote for a new constitution. Shaky candidates won’t have any reason to panic anymore since Clincher is dead. We have good chances.”

“And what happens if it doesn’t work?” Oliver asked.

“I guess there will be more changes in the party until it will be enough,” Laurel replied. “I doubt that will be necessary, though. A lot of people were only accepting the law out of habit or whatever anyway. I doubt there are a lot of people who actually believe in it now matter what they pretend.”

“Should I come with you?” Tommy asked her.

Laurel shook her head. “No, rather stay here. Ray sent me a car. Call me if you know anything new, okay?”

Thea nodded. “I will.”

Laurel put her hand to Oliver’s cheek for a moment, whispering, “She’s going to be okay. She’s too strong to let this get her down.”

Oliver smiled sadly, nodding his head. While Tommy was accompanying Laurel to her car and Thea was searching for a nurse to tell them how Felicity was doing, Oliver sat down for the first time since they had come here. He put his elbows to his knees and rested his face in his hands, closing his eyes. He really hoped his friends’ words were more than just encouragement and they were actually right.

He didn’t know what he’d do if it was any different.

 

 

Oliver didn’t know how much time had passed when the news about radical political changes spread like wildfire. Nurses, doctors and visitors around them talked about how dozens of politicians as well as important people in police and military had been arrested. There was a little worry about an even more brutal government taking place, but those little voices were drowned by the voices of hope.

Stopping his pacing, Oliver took off his leather jacket and put it over Thea, who was lying outstretched on the chairs, her feet on Sara’s and her head on Nyssa’s lap. Hours of waiting without any news had made her tired it seemed.

“You should sit down,” John suggested with calm voice, nodding to the free chair next to Tommy, who was dozing away too. “You need your energy when we know Felicity is okay and you can go see her.”

Oliver sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. “I appreciate the advice, but I can’t sit down.”

John nodded. “Do you want a coffee? Hospital coffee is the best way to keep awake since it feels like it’s burning a hole into your stomach.”

Oliver almost chuckled at that, but he shook his head. “I don’t need anything. Thanks.”

With a sigh, Oliver started pacing again. His legs were so tired they felt wobbly like they could give in any second. Yet, he just couldn’t sit down. It’s been more than eight hours now since they had come to the hospital and there was still no sign that Felicity was okay. Thea had tried to find a nurse to talk to, but nobody could or wanted to tell them anything.

When he passed the open door to the waiting room once more, he got a glimpse on the TV. Clincher’s death as well as the current possibility of political instability and its meaning for the country was still the only subject that was discussed. At the same time, the reporter discussed the rumors about arrests and the hope of political change. A little announcement in the right corner revealed that Palmer had convened a press conference. Oliver rolled his eyes. Of course he had.

Slowly Oliver strolled back to his friends and sat down on the free chair after all. John perked up his eyebrows.

“Do you want a coffee now?”

Oliver shook his head. He glanced at his watch, realizing it was only a few more minutes until Palmer would give his interview. Part of him wanted to just get up and start walking up and down again. He could feel the restlessness in his legs already. He knew if he got to see Felicity – and he really hoped that would happen soon – she would want to know.

“No,” Oliver replied. “Can I borrow your phone?”

John nodded, pulled his phone from the pocket of his jacket and handed it to him. Oliver found a live-video of the interview easily. He didn’t have to wait very long for the doors of City Hall to open and Palmer as well as some other politicians stepping out in front of the reporters, who immediately started firing questions at him.

“Brave,” John mumbled, leaning over Oliver’s shoulder to watch at the screen. “The rebels haven’t been caught yet. I wouldn’t want to step out on the same stairs the last president has been killed on only a few hours ago. That place doesn’t offer any protection.”

Oliver grunted. “I guess Palmer knows he will be saved anyway and who cares about the other people that might get hurt or even killed?”

John just hummed, not answering. If Oliver was too hard on Palmer, he didn’t care. He would forever hold a grudge against him for what he had done.

Palmer lifted a hand, silencing all questions in less than three seconds. Looking at the reporters with an expression of certainty in his eyes, he grabbed the edges of the ambo and said, “Today is an important day in the history of this country. In the last fifty years, this country has been oppressed by the people who were supposed to represent the interests of people living here. With this day, the rule of tyranny is over.”

Shouts of excitement and relief and other emotions were coming from the scene of the news as well as from the hospital. Oliver lifted his gaze to watch people standing together, watching the news on their phones. Two nurses hugged each other, both of them crying as their lips met in a gentle kiss. Oliver turned his head to see Nyssa and Sara, who had heard what had been said, smiling at each other. He was sure if it wasn’t for Thea keeping them apart, they would kiss each other now too. Oliver knew because if Felicity was here, he’d do the same.

“Hereby, the Party of Conservative Americans is abolished,” Palmer continued. “The party I as well as everyone who stands here with me belong to is called Party of the democratic United States. Unlike the government under the guidance of the Party of Conservative Americans, our party doesn’t see the future of this country in a one-party state which is why we see us as a provisional government. Our main goal is it to reestablish a real democracy which includes the reconstruction of the right of co-determination. Therefore, we encourage new political parties to build. That way the US can, probably by the end of this year already, but in spring next year the latest have their first real elections in half a century.”

Again, there was applause. All the reporters asked questions, but Palmer didn’t answer any of them. Instead, he just gave everyone a few seconds to let the news settle. Oliver had to admit, as much as he hated to do so, that Palmer was doing a decent job.

“There are a lot of changes we want to make to reestablish the freedom of people living here,” Palmer continued eventually. “I can tell you that we as well as some more lawyers are already working on setting up a new constitution that will reestablish freedoms of democracy. I guess what most of you will be interested in – and it’s the very reason why we couldn’t come out and speak to you sooner – is what will happen to the marriage laws.”

There was a deadly silence. Oliver looked around. Everyone was staring at their screens. Only a few people who were working and seemed to listen to the news only casually, were moving.

“There is a new decree worked in progress,” Palmer explained. “With this day, there won’t be any marriages contacted by the government anymore. The Ministry of Procreation will stop its work and be shut down. All marriages that have been contracted under the force of the law will be annulled with the end of October unless both marriage partners file an application form to maintain their marriage. The time is needed to make the changes and adopt the respective decree. As I am speaking here, we are establishing a support group that is going to help you leave your spouse if you are threatened with any harm, independent of whether your spouse forces your to stay because of the old system or for any other reason. We will inform you, as soon as the hotline and support system is available. From the first day of November, weddings are allowed between all unmarried people regardless of race, sex, gender, religion or any other characteristic. Further detail on formalities as well as possibilities of divorce after the first of November will be announced soon. As I am sure you understand, there was no time to talk about the details yet.”

Some of the reporters laughed, some others used the pause to ask more questions. Oliver just let Palmer’s word settle and used the pause to process this news.

Felicity had made it. It was the first thought that crossed his mind. Felicity had really made it. He knew a lot of people would think that her role in this was too little to honor, but for Oliver, she had definitely been a key to this plan’s success. She had backed Palmer up, making sure his image as being loyal to the government was maintained and his suitability for the candidature of presidency would be increased. She had been part of this, even if only for a couple of weeks. She had helped to make this happen.

Palmer and the others in that new party of his were letting themselves be celebrated as the heroes of the nation. They acted like everything was okay now and like there hadn’t been a brutal rebellion that had threatened, injured and taken the lives of innocent people. Only because of that, all of this had even been possible to happen. Of course, no word was said about that, though.

“I am standing here today to announce that with this day new and better times dawn,” Palmer explained, “but I can’t do so without addressing the things that happened to make this possible.”

Oliver frowned, looking at the screen. Part of him almost didn’t want Palmer to mention Felicity’s or the rebels’ role in this. It would take away a lot of the rational reasons for hating Palmer right now.

“Only a few hours ago, right here at the place that I am standing at,” he said, “a group of dissatisfied and angry citizens came here with weapons to fight for what they wanted with brutal measures. While I understand the need for a change as well as the feeling of helplessness that might have let to the belief that only a violent attack was going to bring the change I cannot let this go by without condemning this strongly. These attacks took five lives. One of those was the life of the president that did his part in suppressing this county. Two of those were the lives of people that worked with me to make a change and two others were non-participating at all. Violence always creates violence and it barely ever achieves what it’s being applied for.”

“Not bad,” John said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “He’s basically addressing everything that went wrong before anyone can ask him about it.”

“A little too silky for my taste,” Oliver grumbled.

“Right now, there are still five people receiving treatment after the attacks. One person that I would like to point out is Felicity Megan Smoak.”

Oliver felt his heart skip a beat at the sound of her name. His fingers tightened around John’s phone. Thinking about it now, Oliver wondered if maybe it would have been better not to mention her name. What could Palmer possibly say that wasn’t going to sound like a eulogy?

“Only through her selfless act of sacrificing her own happiness for the benefit of this plan we could succeed today,” Palmer explained, his voice less victorious than it had been before. “She is currently at Starling City General, still in surgery after she fell victim to the attacks of this morning. Her commitment to ally herself and trust in people she barely knows and to put her own needs back for some greater good should be a role model to all of us. In this moment of happiness, it is important to remember the people who have fallen and the people who have made sacrifices to make this happen. She is one of these.”

There was a long moment of silence. Oliver could almost feel the heaviness of nobody saying a word. He imagined that for a moment everyone thought about the blonde with the glasses who had been at Palmer’s side for the last weeks and had probably been hated for it. He imagined how they saw her in a new light now, hoping for her to survive.

At the same time, he felt the terribly irony of this moment. Everyone had what they wanted now. This country was free again. People could show their love to another openly. In a few weeks they could get married to whoever they wanted. Everyone could live the life they always wanted to have and Oliver still wasn’t sure his life wasn’t falling apart any second.

“Felicity Smoak,” he heard a nurse whisper. “Isn’t she-“

“-in OR three,” another nurse whispered.

Thrusting his phone back into John’s hand, Oliver quickly got up and approached the two women. They looked up from their own phones when he stepped in front of them.

“How is she doing?” he asked them.

“I am sorry, but we can’t-“

“We are her friends,” Lyla said, stepping next to Oliver. “I am her emergency contact actually. Well, I have been before her engagement.”

“Oh, I am sorry, but I think-“

“I am her boyfriend, okay?” Oliver said. “I love her and I need to know she is okay.”

The nurses looked at each other for a moment, before one of them nodded and explained, “When I checked the last time, it didn’t look too good, but… I will go and check now.”

Oliver nodded though the words felt like they bored right into his heart and spread there like cancer, taking over all his body and killing him from within. His world stopped turning just like when Felicity had told him she wouldn’t run away with him. These last weeks, he had felt like he was losing her way too often. He wasn’t sure he’d ever recover from it.

“She is going to be alright,” Lyla whispered to him, stroking her hand over his back. “She has to.”

The minutes until the nurse came back felt like eternities. Oliver counted the beats of his heart, trying to calm his new wave of panic. When even a nurse said that it wasn’t looking good, then it really wasn’t looking good. He tried not to think about it too much, but it was impossible to shake the thought off.

“There she is,” John said eventually, nodding to where the nurse, accompanied by a doctor was coming from.

Oliver was already stalking towards them. He barely realized that Nyssa woke Thea and everyone followed him. They were almost crowding the doctor.

“How is she?” Oliver asked immediately.

“Dr. Downey,” the older man said, holding out his hand. “I am the doctor in charge for Ms. Smoak’s treatments and I have been one of the three surgeons who took care of her.”

Oliver was irritated for a second before he realized that Dr. Downey probably wanted to calm him down. Though Oliver didn’t like the delay, he shook Dr. Downey hand.

“Oliver Queen,” he answered. “I am her boyfriend.”

Dr. Downey chuckled. “Never heard that being said anywhere but in illegal movies I streamed.”

“There has been some political-“

“I know,” Dr. Downey interrupted Sara quickly and held up a hand. He pulled the surgical cap from his head and sighed. “Ms. Smoak suffered from a strong blood loss, but we have been able to get that under control with blood transfusion. Unfortunately, we could not stop it before her heart gave out. It took almost two minutes to bring her back.”

Oliver felt Tommy’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his body and he was now empty. He was no longer living and just existing. The thought of Felicity’s heart standing still and the two minutes of utter panic when she had been close to dying.

“But she is going to be okay?” Lyla asked eventually.

“We hope so,” Dr. Downey replied. “What damage the cardiac arrest left her with is only conceivable once she is awake.”

There was a long moment of silence. Oliver didn’t even want to think about what damage it could have caused. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. Felicity was alive and that was all that mattered. They would work through everything else.

“But otherwise she is fine?” John asked.

Dr. Downey pressed his lips together. “It’s hard to say. One bullet got very close to her spinal cord. Our neurosurgeon is optimistic that there won’t be any long-term damage. We can only say so once Ms. Smoak woke up and she can tell us more.”

“She might never be able to walk again?” Thea asked.

“Let’s not think about that before we know more,” Dr. Downey suggested. “Besides, what we focus on right now is to stabilize her. She is still in critical condition.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Tommy asked.

“That for the next twelve hours it’s mainly about whether or not she makes it at all. Only after that we can think about the future.”

Oliver felt the words like a punch into his stomach. If Felicity died after all…

“Can we see her?” Lyla asked before Oliver could get lost in his thoughts.

“Only for a couple of minutes and only one for now,” Dr. Downey replied. “Ms. Smoak needs the rest.”

Oliver turned around to Lyla, already about to ask if he could go. Lyla put her hand to his with a smile before he could ask his request, though.

“You go,” she suggested. “Tell her we are all here, waiting for her.”

Oliver nodded and followed the nurse to the ICU. He got into the gown for hospital visitors, washed his hands with disinfectants and listened to the nurse’s words about only having five minutes. She opened the door to the patient’s room with an encouraging smile. Oliver took in a deep breath and stepped into the room. The nurse closed the door behind him again, leaving him alone with Felicity.

He tried to take in a deep breath to calm his nerves, but the shock and the panic at the sigh in front of him almost paralyzed him. Felicity was lying in a hospital bed, attacked to machines that were monitoring her heartbeat and her breathing, helping her with more oxygen at the same time. She looked terribly lost between all the tech.

It took a long moment until Oliver dared to move. He stepped to her bedside and took her hand in both of his and looked at he for a moment. Releasing a trembling breath, he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“Hi, Felicity,” he whispered. “You don’t have to be scared anymore. The threat is over. You made it through this and changed this country. Your name will be in the history books because what you did was amazing.”

Oliver swallowed. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, but he knew he didn’t have much time. If he only had five minutes, then he needed to make the best of this brief time and tell her everything he needed to know.

“Everyone is out there waiting for you,” Oliver continued. “Lyla and John, Nyssa and Sara, Thea, Tommy, they are all here. They all need you to be okay.  _ I _ need you to be okay.”

Oliver took in a deep breath. He stroked a hand over the side of Felicity’s face gently. After a moment of hesitation, he sat down on the edge of the mattress. He tried to be careful of the tubes and cables. He didn’t want to be responsible for any further damaged. All he wanted was being close to her.

“I know you have a lot on your plate as it is right now,” he whispered, “and I don’t want to add more to it, but I really need a favor from you. You saved the country now, so I guess I am not asking too much if I ask you to save yourself now. Felicity, you just have to push through this and survive. I promise you that we will work out everything else together. No matter what consequences there are for you, I will be here and together we will find a way into this new life. Just… just don’t die please.”

The last words came out as a sob. Oliver leaned his forehead against Felicity’s and closed his eyes, hoping she would hear him. She just had to hear him and she had to be okay. Everything else would shatter all the broken pieces of himself that had only really started to grow back together once he had met her. This time, the damage to his soul would be irreparable. That he knew.


	14. At last

_ …ninety-eight, ninety-nine, hundred. One, two, three,… _

Oliver shot another look at his watch before he went back to counting Felicity’s heartbeats again, his eyes following the even curve that was recorded on the monitor.

_ …five, six, seven,… _

It had been almost thirty hours since he had arrived at the hospital, twenty-four since she had been out of surgery and eight since he had been allowed to stay at her site for as long as he wanted. She hadn’t woken up so far, though.

_ …nine, ten, eleven,… _

The level of adrenaline in his blood was still high. Yet, Oliver knew the moment he would stop counting the beats of her heart, always counting to hundred before starting over at the start, he would pass out from exhaustion. He knew he would be haunted by nightmares the moment his eyes fell shut though, so he kept his eyes open.

_ …thirteen, fourteen, fifteen,… _

Oliver felt his heart beating in synch with hers like it could just beat for Felicity’s in case it gave out. The thought made a cold shower running down his back.

_ …seventeen, eighteen, nineteen,… _

Sucking in a deep breath, Oliver turned his gaze away from the monitor and looked at Felicity. She still looked the same way she had looked when he had first entered the room after her surgery. Her face was pale. Even her lips were almost white. The only color on her face came from the dark shadows under her eyes. She still received some additional oxygen and her vital functions – was that even the right term? – were monitored closely. Just like her looks, nothing had changed about them.

When Oliver felt tears welling in his eyes, he cleared his throat against the burning in his throat and tried to go back to counting her heartbeats. Where had he stopped? At ninety? Or had it been nineteen? Or something completely else?

Oliver decided it was the best to just start from one once more. He looked at the monitor, but his view blurred. Groaning, he moved a hand over his face. When it didn’t help with the exhaustion, he released a defeated sigh and looked at Felicity’s face. His hand tightened around her fingers.

“I will let go of your hand for a moment, okay?” he asked in a whisper. He knew it was stupid asking her permission because she probably wouldn’t answer if she didn’t, by some miracle, wake up right this second. “I won’t go far away, okay? I will just go up and down the room for a moment to stretch my legs. I am not going anywhere, so it’s only fair if you don’t go anywhere either, okay?”

Felicity didn’t wake up and she didn’t answer. Yet, Oliver decided to take her silence as agreement. His hand tightened around Felicity’s fingers while he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Pulling back, he looked at her like maybe she’d wake up now, but again there was no change.

It cost all his courage and a lot more for Oliver to take a step back from her bed and let go of her hand. He moved his hands through his shirt hair, tearing at it a little. He stretched his arms out over his head then, trying to wake his tired limbs. With long, quick steps he walked up and down the small room, his eyes never leaving Felicity’s motionless body for long.

The doctors had said that they would know more if she made it through the night. She had made it through the night, so the doctors had told them they knew more once she had woken up. She hadn’t woken up, though. Oliver knew her body needed recovery and being consciousness allowed her to rest. The longer it took for her to wake up, the more did her chances of waking up anytime soon decrease. According to the doctors, they were still far from that moment, but they hadn’t been able to tell them when that moment would come.

He knew Felicity’s bruises had been bad and the surgery had exhausted her. She needed time to recover, but he wished she could recover after waking up and telling him she was fine. He didn’t know how long he could keep holding on without going insane. He felt close to losing his mind already and he guessed the longer he would have to wait until he knew Felicity would make it, the harder it would be to keep sane.

While they had been waiting for the night to be over, so they’d known that Felicity had passed the first critical stage, Thea had urged him to go outside. She had suggested getting some fresh air to clear his head, but Oliver had refused to leave the hallway, afraid something could happen and he wasn’t there. He couldn’t bear the thought that he wasn’t at her side if she woke up or – and the thought made his stomach twist so painfully that Oliver had to squeeze his eyes shut – she’d die.

He felt a cold shiver running down his back and quickly went back to Felicity, sitting down on her side and holding her hand in both of his. He looked at her closely, letting the even rising of her chest convince himself that she was still alive.

If Felicity didn’t wake up, Oliver knew he would eventually have to leave her side after all. If Thea had already urged him to go out for a walk after a couple of hours, he was sure his friends would agree with her after some time. They would tell him he would have to sleep and to eat and to shower and God knew what else. He would fight them as long as possible, but he would have to give up sooner or later.

“Don’t worry,” Oliver whispered, gently tugging Felicity’s hair back behind her ear. “I will make sure you won’t be alone at any second.”

He didn’t doubt that their friends would take care of her when he would really have to leave. Thea and Lyla were still waiting in the hallway. Oliver had told them to go home, but Thea had refused to leave as long as he was still staying and Lyla wanted to take turns with John, so Andria wasn’t alone.

By now, even Palmer had visited. Well, his visit had barely taken five minutes and it hadn’t done any good, but he had been here. Oliver didn’t know if he should consider that something good. He hadn’t been able to even look at Palmer since his hands had tingled too much with the need to punch him. Lyla had told Palmer what he had wanted to know, had promised to tell him if there was anything new and then he had left already.

“Your ex-fiancé is an ass,” Oliver said quietly, stroking his hand up and down Felicity’s forearm gently. “I really would have liked to punch him, but I know you wouldn’t have wanted that. I also know it wasn’t really his fault. He did what he felt he had to do and he asked you to join in because he knew that you are a good person and, wonderful and bolt as you, are you agreed. Yet, I can’t help it blaming it on him nonetheless.”

Oliver felt his anger increase once more and squeezed his eyes shut. He lifted Felicity’s hand to his cheek, holding it to his face. With a sigh, he leaned his face into her hand and pressed his nose to her wrist. He breathed in the sweet scent of her skin.

With his eyes still closed, he pretended they weren’t here but in their bed. He loved those lazy mornings they had spent together. He would wake up early in the morning, Felicity’s warm and naked body next to his. He wouldn’t say a word and he wouldn’t move. He would just stay where he was and watch her, not wanting her to wake up yet. Only when he had memorized her face once more, he would roll on top of her and wake her with kisses to her lips and her neck. They would make sweet love to each other, slowly and gently rock to the peak of their pleasure when they got fully lost in each other. After that, they would lie in bed for some more hours, stroking and scratching each other’s skin, while they were talking about whatever came to their minds.

When Oliver felt his head dipping forward, he quickly shook off the tiredness. He opened his eyes and looked at Felicity’s face once more. He smiled quietly, reaching out a hand to stroke the knuckles of his fingers over her cheek.

“When you get out of here, we are going to spend a lot of lazy mornings in bed, okay?” he asked. “Or why not top it and say we are spending lazy days in bed? We will just stay in bed, doing nothing but having lazy sex when we are feeling like it. I am going to make sure we will have plenty water and food in case living from air and love alone won’t be enough. We will take all the time in the world because we will have it, you know? We will have all the time in the world once you are out of here. We don’t have to be worried about getting caught anymore. We don’t have to find excuses for meeting anymore. We can just tell people we are together. Felicity, we can do so many things together.”

Despite nothing having changed really, Oliver felt himself calming down. The storm that had been going on inside of him since… probably since the moment Felicity had received the letter… For the first time it calmed down. Talking to Felicity calmed it down enough for him to breathe. Oliver wasn’t feeling any better, but he did feel calmer.

“I was thinking maybe we could travel a little,” Oliver continued. “Now that we have a new government, I guess that won’t be much of a problem anymore and we can actually go and see the world. First, I was thinking of somewhere sunny with a beach like Bali maybe. Have you ever been to Bali? Because I have never been there and I think I would want to go there one day. We could also go to France with Thea. Maybe she wants to go there now. The school is really good after all. Maybe you would like to visit your friends in Austria, though. We could go there and take a look at Vienna. I heard it’s a beautiful city. We could visit the castles if you are into that kind of stuff. Are you the kind of woman to be into princess stuff? I have no idea…”

Oliver would have to remember asking her about this once she had woken up. There were still so many things he didn’t know about her that he wanted to learn about her. He had a thousand questions about her past, her present and her future. Their future, Oliver corrected himself with a smile.

“I was also thinking about getting a dog maybe, at least one day,” Oliver continued. “I always wanted a dog, but my parents didn’t allow it. Then, after I came back from the island, I wasn’t in the right mindset. Maybe now is the right time. Do you like dogs? I hope you like dogs because I am not sure I could be with a cat person. I mean how can you prefer cats over dogs? Cats don’t need you. At least dogs think you are the most important person in the world if you do it right. Cats treat you like you are their slave, so…”

Oliver had never really liked cats. Their housemaid, back in his childhood days, had had a cat. That stupid thing had always climbed the highest trees, but hadn’t dared to get back down. Oliver couldn’t count how many times he had climbed up there to save that stupid cat.

“I don’t know much about dogs, but I think it could be a fun challenge for us,” Oliver said. “We could get a puppy, but I think that might be a little too much of work for us, right? I mean a puppy is sweet and everything, but it needs a lot of attention and a lot of education. With our jobs that could be difficult. Maybe one day, when we have a home and kids, we can afford a puppy, but maybe not yet.”

Oliver watched his thumb moving over the back of Felicity’s hand. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, keeping them against his lips. He chuckled eventually.

“I am sorry. I really shouldn’t talk about having a home and kids with you. I know you were the one who started talking about our kids, but a lot has happened and maybe you don’t even want that anymore. Or maybe you were just trying to lighten the mood and didn’t really want any of it in the first place.” Oliver released a sigh. “I hope you meant it. I hope you still want this. I hope you still want us at least. A home, kids, a dog,… Those details don’t matter to me. All I want is you and me, no matter what, if that is what you want too.”

Oliver stroked his fingertips over the skin of her cheek gently once more. He enjoyed the warmth of her tender skin even though the paleness still made him worry a little bit. He shot a look at the IV bag, thinking it might be time for her to get a new one, but it wasn’t empty yet. He lowered his head, holding her hand in front of his face. When a nurse or a doctor came here the next time, he’d ask if it was time to worry by now and if there was anything more they could do to-

When there was a sound, a mixture of a whisper, a cough and an inhale of breath, Oliver lifted his head quickly. He looked at Felicity, taking a close look at her face. She was moveless, though. She was so moveless that Oliver actually wondered if he had heard anything at all.

He got up, leaning over her body and framing her face with his hands. Her head looked so small between his huge hands, the contrast of her white face against his tanned hands only making her look even weaker. Oliver pushed those thoughts away and focused on the slightest of a frown that showed on her forehead and that told him that he hadn’t just imagined her trying to say something.

“Felicity?” he asked. “Felicity, can you hear me?”

Felicity moved her lips like she was trying to say something, but no sound came out. He felt a wave of relief rising inside of him, but he didn’t dare to let it crash over him yet. He leaned a little closer to Felicity, holding her face in his hands as gently as he could. His eyes watched her lips continue moving without saying anything.

“I am here,” he whispered. “Talk to me.”

“Shelter.”

The word came out in a whisper, barely louder than a breath. Despite being so close to her, Oliver had barely heart it. He wasn’t even sure if he had got it right. He forgot about that the second Felicity’s eyes fluttered open, though. Her gaze was unfocused, her eyes moving around quickly while she was blinking several times. Eventually, her eyes found his, though. She hadn’t opened them much, her lids probably feeling too heavy, but she did look at him with tired, glassy eyes.

“Hi,” Oliver whispered, tears welling in his eyes. “Thank God.”

Oliver was already about to lean in and kiss Felicity’s forehead when she swallowed and sucked in a deep breath. Oliver stayed close without getting closer, giving her the time she needed to gather her strength and fight the fluttering of her lids.

“Take your time,” Oliver whispered when he saw Felicity struggling. “I am not going anywhere.”

“Shelter,” Felicity almost choked out eventually. “Dog from… from shelter, ‘kay?”

The tears had been welling in his eyes, fell now. With a chuckle that was both, worried and relieved, at the same time if that was possible, he leaned his head forward and rested his head against Felicity’s. His lips brushed against hers shortly, needing to feel the warmth of her lips against his but not wanting to exhaust her breathing any more than it was already.

“Thank God you woke up,” Oliver whispered, taking in a sniffling breath. “I was so worried.”

He nuzzled Felicity’s nose, breathing in the scent of her skin. Her breaths were ghosting over his chin. She was still struggling a little at first. Her breathing was shallow and quick, but it calmed down eventually. When Oliver felt her hand at his elbow, he loosened a hand from her face and lifted her hand to his face, holding it to his cheek and leaning into her touch like he had before Felicity had woken up already.

Oliver continued resting his head against hers for a while before took in a deep breath and leaned back a little. Felicity opened her eyes. Her lids had stopped fluttering, but they still seemed to be heavy since her eyes were just opened a little. She looked so tired like she was already on the verge to fall asleep or maybe lose consciousness.

“I will go find a doctor, okay?”

Oliver was already about to let go of her and turn around to head to the hallways when he saw Felicity frown.

“Doctor?”

“Yes,” Oliver whispered. “You’re in the hospital. Don’t you… do you remember what happened?”

Felicity looked around the room shortly. “Hospital? I- I thought I died.”

The words broke Oliver’s heart a little more than it had been broken over and over again these past weeks and especially these past hours. He sat down on the edge of the mattress, next to Felicity’s hip and kissed the palm of her hand he was still holding to his face before he took her hand between both of his and lowered it.

“No, you didn’t,” Oliver replied. “It was close, but you made it.”

Felicity seemed to have problems processing his words for a moment. Her frown deepened. Taking in a deep breath, she pulled her hand away from his.

“You gotta go.”

She turned her head away and squeezed her eyes shut, maybe to hide the tears that had welled up in her eyes, but Oliver had seen them nonetheless. When she tried to pull her hand away from his, Oliver held onto it, though.

“I don’t have to go anywhere,” Oliver replied with firm voice. “I am exactly where I have to be.”

“Oliver-“

“I don’t have to go anywhere because it’s over,” Oliver added before Felicity could tell him all the reasons why he would have had to leave or rather would have not been supposed to come here in the first place. He knew all of what she would say would have been right three days ago, but not today. “Clincher was shot during the attack. Palmer is president. He already announced that he is rebuilding democracy and a first step is abandoning the marriage laws. Me sitting here, holding your hand and kissing you is already legal. Give it six more weeks and my marriage with Nyssa is officially annulled, just like the marriage of everyone else who was forced to get married and doesn’t want their marriage to stay on. And you know how all of this was possible? Because of you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Felicity whispered. A tear escaped the corner of her eye as she smiled nonetheless. “But this is good news, really good news I guess.”

“It is a miracle,” Oliver replied, “and they couldn’t have done it without you, no matter what you think. You helped to make this happen and the entire world knows.”

There were a lot of emotions playing on Felicity’s face – confusion, joy, sadness, regret, relief and so much more Oliver could barely describe. It had to be weird. She had risked so much for this change and then she hadn’t even been present to see how everyone was celebrating.

“I know it’s a lot,” Oliver added in a whisper. “You have been out for quite some time. You needed severe surgery and… it was close, Felicity. It was really so close.”

Oliver felt his throat burning with tears. When Felicity squeezed his hand comfortingly, he leaned his head forward and rested it against her forehead once more.

“I’m fine,” she whispered, her voice slurring slightly. He could feel her frown against his forehead. “Am I fine?”

“The doctors said they will know more once you woke up,” Oliver replied. With a deep breath he pulled back a little, holding her hand more tightly at the same time. “You have woken up, so it’s fine I guess.”

Felicity nodded slightly. “’kay.”

“They…” Oliver hesitated. He shot a brief look at her toes under the blanket, wondering if he should say it at all. He felt if someone should tell Felicity any bad news, maybe it was best if he did it, though. At least he’d be here for her to comfort her or be her punching bag if she felt like it. “They said one bullet got close to your spinal cord and they couldn’t know if it left any permanent damage before you woke up.”

Felicity looked past him. Oliver followed the direction of her gaze and watched her toes wiggling under the blanket. He smiled, relief washing over him. He turned back to Felicity, framed her face her hands and leaned in for a gentle kiss. It was a chaste kiss since Oliver could feel Felicity was too exhausted for anything else. When their lips parted, Felicity released a sigh, snuggling her face more into his hands. Oliver pulled back a little to look at her, watching the exhausted expression on her face.

“I am so tired,” Felicity whispered.

“Then go back to sleep,” Oliver suggested. “I will give you half an hour before I tell the doctors that you woke up. That way you can still catch a little rest before the examinations begin. Okay?”

Felicity nodded, too tired to open her eyes it seemed. She sighed. “Will you be there when I wake up?”

Oliver smiled. “Of course. I will be there. I will be there for as long as you want me to.”

“Prepare for long years of staying by my side then,” Felicity replied, her voice slurring even more than before. Oliver wasn’t even sure if she was still awake or already was asleep. “You look nice by the way. You cut your hair shorter. Looks good. I need to get my hair cut too. Ray said longer hair might be nice for the wedding, but I like shorter hair. Also, I don’t want our dog to bite into the ponytail if it’s too long.”

Oliver chuckled, feeling a tear of relief rolling down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away before he said, “I can get you someone here tomorrow. I am sure there is a hairdresser that cuts your hair even here in the ICU.”

“Maybe.” Felicity hummed slightly. “But maybe later is better. I am too exhausted. Am I asleep already?”

“Possible, but you are still talking,” Oliver replied.

“’kay. Stop talking now,” Felicity said, her words almost not recognizable anymore. “Too exhausting.”

“When you wake up the next time, you will feel better I think,” Oliver whispered. “Just sleep a little.”

Felicity didn’t answer anymore, completely drifted off into sleep now he guessed. Oliver squeezed his eyes shut and took in a deep breath. Only now he felt all the relief and joy he hadn’t allowed to fully spread when she had just woken up spreading in every cell of his body.

Felicity was alive. She had woken up. She could move her toes which was probably an important thing too. She was planning a future with him, talking about getting a dog from a shelter.

Everything was going to be fine. With some time, everything was going to be alright again. Felicity was going to be okay and they were going to be fine. They would make it through this and forget about the horrors that had been necessary for them to get to where they would be in a couple of years.

It all just took time.

 

 

Healing took time, so much more time than Felicity had ever thought possible. Once the pain meds had been reduced and Felicity had been able to think clearly again, she had tried to make a guess how long a full recovery would take. She had assumed that she would have to stay in the hospital for maybe three weeks, get into an ambulant physiotherapy right after and be free of any pain or longtime damage four weeks later at last.

Almost six weeks later, Felicity was still in the hospital. She didn’t need crutches anymore, but walking, especially long paths, still wasn’t easy. Her circulation had suffered from lying in bed for so long. She felt out of breath and got exhausted quickly, losing consciousness briefly whenever she didn’t sit down as soon as the black spots started dancing in front of her eyes. The shot that had hit her back caused her quite strong pain still and it radiated into her legs like the worst muscle soreness or joint pain she had ever experienced. She basically took a handful of pain meds each day.

While they were strolling through the small park that belonged to the hospital, enjoying the autumn sun, Felicity leaned her head against Oliver’s shoulder and closed her eyes. They had barely left the building, but she was already feeling out of breath. She could just fall back into bed and sleep there. She didn’t want to sit down just yet, though.

She loved Oliver’s daily visits. The first days after she had woken up, Oliver hadn’t left her side unless she had been sleeping. He had been there when she had fallen asleep and he had been there when she had woken up, sitting at her side with fresh clothing. She had loved that he had wanted to be there for her like that. She had known that he had barely slept and neglected Verdant though, so she had suggested he would come here for three hours at max a day. He had negotiated with her and Felicity had let him beat her up to five hours. Those were always the five favorite hours of her day, especially when he took her for small little walks. Now that he didn’t have to push her in a wheelchair anymore and she didn’t need her crutches, she could snuggle up to his side like she did right now.

Felicity’s thumb stroked over Oliver’s ring finger and she smiled at the skin she felt there. Oliver had taken off his wedding band when she had woken up the second time, letting it drop into the trash since he didn’t need it any longer. Felicity hadn’t put her engagement ring back on after the surgery, either. They were finally free for each other, even if some paperwork still had to be done.

She doubted she would get used to the feeling of not having to hide with him or from him anymore anytime soon, though. She felt comfortable like this, being so close to him and leaning on him as well as with her hand safely tugged in his. Yet, it still felt so new, especially being physically close to him in public and knowing that if they ran into someone during their walk, she didn’t have to shy away from him. Nobody minded what they were doing and even if they did, they didn’t have a right to.

Ray and his friends in the party had put a lot of work into changes these last weeks already. It seemed like every day there were new changes, all for the better it seemed. Chiefs of states all over the world were visiting the States now, negotiating contracts about a thousand political things. Ray was as busy as a person could be. Felicity doubted he slept. His work was paying out though and that was all that mattered. He and his party were even celebrated as the winners of the next election already, even if some other parties had started forming by now. How did you beat the party who had ended the terror of the last government and brought the long-desired freedom?

“Should we sit down?” Oliver suggested, nodding to a close bench.

Felicity was about to decline and tell him that she didn’t need a pause yet. She had just taken a breath when Oliver cocked his head slightly and perked up his eyebrows. Of course, he knew her better than to believe her easily. After listening to the signals of her body – the heavy breathing, the stitches in her waist and the pain that spread from her lower back into her legs – Felicity decided his suggestion had probably only been for the best.

“Okay, let’s sit down,” she agreed, “but not for long.”

“Just for you to catch your breath,” Oliver promised and squeezed her hand.

When they sat down, Oliver wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling him against his side. Smiling, Felicity leaned against him, wrapping both her arms around his waist and snuggling her head in the crook between his neck and shoulder. Oliver turned his head and kissed her forehead shortly before he rested his chin on top of her head, her hair getting caught in his stubble. His hand stroked up and down her arm on his stomach. Her smile widened in response.

For a moment, Felicity closed her eyes, just enjoying being wrapped up in the warmth of his body. She had dreamed about intimate moments like this during the time she hadn’t been allowed to see Oliver. She had thought she would have to wait months to be able to do this again, so she couldn’t get enough of it now. If she had thought she had been spoilt with their affair, this was a thousand times better.

“Ray has been here this morning,” Felicity said eventually, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

Oliver grumbled lowly, but Felicity ignored it. She had tried to talk to Oliver about his anger. She knew he blamed Ray for a lot of things she wasn’t sure were really his fault. She hadn’t really reached through to Oliver, though. He just wanted to be mad at Ray and blame him for what had happened to her during that press conference. Maybe once she was better, he would be able to accept that it hadn’t been Ray’s fault.

“Did he have anything new to tell?” Oliver asked. “Or did he just want to silence his conscience, knowing it’s at least partly his fault you are here?”

Felicity shot Oliver a short look before she replied, “He just wanted to check how I am doing. He brought a few more clothes and other stuff that was still in the mansion.”

“Let me guess,” Oliver replied. “He stayed for twenty minutes.”

“It’s been thirty,” Felicity corrected, “and he has a lot to do. Apart from all the political change that is still in the making, now he has to welcome heads of other states all over the world and that on top of planning the national celebrations for the abandoning of the marriage laws. It’s only five more days.”

“Oh, I know,” Oliver replied with a chuckle, probably relieved for the change of subject she had offered. “I am counting the days. I think we should celebrate this together.”

“I am not even sure I am out of the hospital by then,” Felicity replied. “The doctors say as long as my circulation doesn’t get better, they don’t want to let me leave. They act like I almost died.”

Oliver kissed the top of her head, his arm tightening around her. “You did almost die.”

“Yeah, but that’s weeks ago,” Felicity replied, angling her head back to look at Oliver’s face. “It’s time to get over it.”

“I doubt I will get over it that soon.”

Oliver didn’t look at her but kept his gaze straight forward on the horizon. Felicity didn’t need to lock eyes with him to know the pain he felt in his chest at the memory of what had happened to her. She had heard it in his voice and she could feel it in the way his arm had tightened around him.

“Hey,” she whispered and put a hand to his chin, turning his face around to her. “I am fine.”

Oliver looked at her for a long moment before he leaned his head forward and captured her lips in a gentle kiss. Felicity sighed against his lips, lifting her hand to stroke her fingertips through his short stubble. A thousand little butterflies were fluttering around in her stomach, dancing joyfully. Goosebumps spread over her arms and from the nape of her neck all the way down his back.

When their lips parted, Oliver nuzzled her nose for a short moment before he brushed his lips against hers once more. He leaned his head back a little, the pain of the memories still visible in his eyes even though he tried to smile it away. Felicity smiled back comfortingly, stroking her thumb over the small dimple. It made Oliver’s smile grow warmer and more honest.

“Good news is that I talked to your doctors before I picked you up for our daily walk in the park,” Oliver said and cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the heavy tone and make his voice sound lighter instead. “Dr. Downey and I negotiated that you can leave once you made it once around the hospital without needing a pause or feeling dizzy.”

Felicity puckered her lips. “All around? Couldn’t you have beaten him down a little more? You know, that’s quite a long walk. I barely make one third of the route so far. I doubt I will make it the whole way in five days.”

“Don’t worry,” Oliver soothed her, stroking a hand up and down her thigh. “We will work on it. Sooner than you know, you will be a lot better.”

“That would be nice,” Felicity replied with a smile. “I hate being in the hospital. I am being spoilt with company thanks to you, Thea, Lyla and everyone else, but that doesn’t exactly make up for the bad food, a bad mattress, horrible wi-fi and just the entire atmosphere of being in a hospital.”

Oliver nodded, squeezing her knee. “I know. I am sure once you are home, you will recover better than you can here.”

“Home,” Felicity said with a sigh. “I am not even sure where that is once I get out of here. I definitely don’t want to get back to Ray’s mansion though he offered to even give it to me. It’s just… not my style and I don’t really want anything from him. My townhouse is already sold, though. I don’t even have furniture anymore.”

Felicity leaned her head against Oliver’s shoulder again and lowered her face, hiding it from his eyes. Holding her breath, she bit down on her bottom lip. During these last weeks, as long as slowly as they had seemed to pass by, she and Oliver hadn’t really discussed their future yet. At least they hadn’t discussed what would happen when Felicity would get out of the hospital and how quickly or how slowly their relationship would develop. Felicity barely remembered that she and Oliver had talked about it a little while she had still been on heavier pain meds than now. Her memory was blurred, though. Pain meds always did that to her.

“Well, I thought you’d just move in with me.”

Felicity angled her head back again, looking at Oliver’s face. He seemed to be utterly serious about this suggestion even though the slightest of confusion was showing in his frown.

“I thought we talked about that,” Oliver added eventually, his frown deepening. “Or did I just think we talked about it and my best-case scenarios became memories that aren’t actually true?”

“No, we talked about it,” Felicity replied. When Oliver perked up his eyebrows, apparently wanting to know why she was floating the question again, Felicity sighed. She scrunched up her nose slightly. “I don’t know. I thought given you suggested this idea when I was still in the ICU and nobody really knew what my recovery would look like and everything, it was only fair to give you an out. I don’t want you to feel forced to invite me to come and live with you just because I was shot and almost died.”

“I don’t,” Oliver told her honestly. He pushed his right hand into the pocket of his leatherjacket, probably playing with the keys in there. His lips widened to a content smile. “I like the idea of living with you. During that one day that we planned on running away, I imagined what it would be like and I couldn’t get it out of my mind ever since.”

Felicity smiled. “Good. Because I really want that too.”

Pulling his hand out of the pocket again, Oliver cupped Felicity cheek and brushed his lips against hers gently. It was a chaste kiss, but it still made Felicity’s heart beat faster.

When they pulled apart, a wide grin spread on Oliver’s lips. “It’s also better for the dog if we move in together, you know? It could be confusing for the dog if we lived separately.”

Felicity chuckled. “You really meant it? That we are going to adopt a dog?”

“Sure,” Oliver replied. “Why not?”

“It’s all going so fast.”

Her chuckle stopped when she felt the beat of hesitation from Oliver. He narrowed his eyes at her slightly, looking almost a little uncomfortable. “Too fast?”

Felicity smiled and shook her head. “No, it’s not too fast. I think it’s fast, but a good kind of fast. It doesn’t feel like rushing things, more like catching up. I think we have been stopped in what we have way too often and now we feel like the place our relationship is, is where we are emotionally with each other. Like… I think I would have been ready for all of this weeks ago before Ray’s offer got in the way.”

“I mean we were basically planning on running away together,” Oliver agreed, nodding his head. “These are almost small steps compared to that.”

“Exactly.”

“Just now we are not taking them out of fear or out of force, but just because we want to,” Oliver replied. “Besides, the loft is way too huge for me alone. If you don’t like the loft, we could as well find a new place, though. There are worlds of living between your townhouse and my loft, so if you need something else to feel comfortable, all you have to do is say it.”

Felicity puckered her lips. “Maybe one day. I like the loft and like you said it’s huge. I think it’s enough for the two of us and our dog, though.”

Nyssa had moved one floor downstairs to Sara. Only three weeks after she had been shot, the two lovebirds had visited her and told her that they had decided to lose no more time and get married. Felicity had never seen Nyssa happier. Sara had always been a little bit like Felicity herself, a little quirky at times at least. Nyssa had never really been like that, but getting married to the love of her life had apparently changed that. The two of them had always interrupted each other while they had been telling Felicity about the proposal. Along the lines of great minds thinking alike, they had both planned a proposal and tried to force through their plans to make their proposals happen. Eventually, Nyssa had lost her patience and told Sara she had to come with her because she wanted to propose which had led to Sara revealing her own plans and… well… the rest were details Felicity hadn’t wanted to know too much about.

“What are you smiling about?” Oliver asked her.

“About everything,” Felicity admitted honestly and leaned her head back, looking at Oliver with a smile. “About this sunny autumn day. About you and me and our future dog. About love being in the air. Just about everything really.”

Oliver’s smile matched hers when he nodded. “It is really great.”

He leaned in and kissed her once more. Their lips moved against each other’s unhurriedly, his tongue slipping into her mouth and stroking against hers. Felicity sighed against his lips, snuggling even more against him.

This all still felt like a dream. Being in public and kissing a man she wasn’t married to felt unreal. It was everything she had wanted in months and now she finally had it.

When they broke the kiss, Oliver leaned his head back a little to look at her and smiled. He took her hand and nodded towards the path that led through the park.

“Should we walk a little?”

“Definitely,” Felicity agreed, already getting up. “Once around the hospital in five days. It can’t be too hard, right?”

“We will get you around that building, even I have to push you over the finishing line.”

Felicity smiled. “Good to know I can count on you.”

“Always,” Oliver promised. “You can always count on me.”

He took her hand and linked her arm with his as they started walking. After puckering his lips for a moment, he turned his head towards her. “I think you can use your breath for walking, so I suggest I take over the talking and tell you what I found on the animal shelter’s website.”

“You already checked what might be the right dog for us?”

“Yes, I did,” Oliver replied with a chuckle. “Wanna hear about my three favorites?”

Felicity’s smile widened. “Every detail.”


	15. The first day

“Come in,” Felicity replied to the soft knock at the door and lifted her gaze from her phone. When Oliver stuck his head into the room, a wide smile spread on her lips. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Oliver replied. His smile matched her when he opened the door further and stepped into the room. “Ready to finally go home?”

“Sure.” Felicity patted her packed bag that was on the bed next to her absentmindedly. Cocking her head, she looked into the hallway. When Oliver closed the door, she frowned and looked at him with confusion in her eyes, though. “Where is he?”

Oliver frowned for a moment, coming closer to her. “What? Where is who?”

Felicity rolled her eyes. She felt it was quite obvious who she meant. It wasn’t like they had kids or anything that he could have taken with him to pick her up. All they had was the dog they had adopted yesterday when Oliver had abducted her from the hospital for a trip to the local animal shelter. For Felicity, it had been love at first sight. The moment she had seen the two year old German Shepherd-Collie mix, she had known he was theirs, so Oliver and Felicity had spent a few hours with him to make sure he really was the perfect match for them. Oliver had taken Felicity back to the hospital eventually and picked up their handsome boy on his way home.

“Teddy of course,” Felicity replied, pulling away when Oliver wanted to kiss her.

“I left him at home.” Oliver tried leaning in to kiss her once more, but Felicity avoided his lips once more, still frowning at Oliver, who frowned back at her. “This is a hospital. I couldn’t have taken him here anyway. They wouldn’t have let him in.”

“Well, I could have come downstairs,” Felicity told him. Though Oliver leaned in for a kiss once more, Felicity pushed her bottom lip forward to a sad pout and lowered her head a little. That way, Oliver was taken the opportunity to kiss her yet again. “The poor thing, all alone in the loft now.”

“Don’t worry, I gave him a chew bone to distract him,” Oliver explained. “He is certainly doing fine, so can you please kiss me now?”

Felicity opened her mouth to say something more, but one look in Oliver’s face and she gave in with a chuckle. When he leaned in this time, she lifted her hands to cup his cheeks gently, her fingers stroking through his short stubble. He looked at her for a moment longer, a content smile on his lips, before his lips captured hers in a soft kiss.

Six weeks had passed since she had woken up from coma and still none of this felt real to her, not the way she had thought and hoped it would. Instead, it was still like she was sitting on a cloud that hovered several feet over the ground and she was looking down on her life from there like she was watching what was happening in a snow globe, just without the snow. Leaving the hospital just in time to celebrate the first of November and moving in with Oliver was certainly going to help making it all more real.

Oliver nuzzled her nose and brushed his lips against hers briefly before he pulled away. The smile on his lips brightened his entire face. It was impossible not to smile too, so Felicity didn’t even try fighting her own smile. She was happy to be released from the hospital and she was even happier that she and Oliver would move in together. Even just having the freedom to do so made her feel happy.

“Are you ready to go home?”

“I have been ready for hours,” Felicity replied. Oliver was already about to respond to that, but Felicity added quickly, “I know we said I should sleep until at least nine and have breakfast and pack my things as if we had all the time in the world because we do have all the time in the world. I just couldn’t sleep. I woke up at four and, after one hour of unsuccessfully trying to fall back asleep, I got up and started packing. I know it’s crazy because Dr. Downey wanted to take another look at me and we said you weren’t picking me up before two. I was just so excited to go home, well, your home or actually our home and… yeah… I was just excited.”

“Yeah, so am I.”

He looked at her for a moment longer before he cleared his throat and looked away. The corners of his lips were twitching like Oliver knew exactly if he looked at her longer, they would never make it out of the hospital. They would just continue staring at each other forever. He shuffled his right foot for a moment, watching the movement before he looked up again. He walked over to the bed and took her bag.

“Should we go?” he asked.

Felicity took in a deep breath. “Yes, please.”

While she was getting up from the bed, Oliver reached out his hand for her. Smiling, Felicity snuggled to his side, putting both her arms around his waist and resting her head against his shoulder. Oliver wrapped his arm around her shoulders, so she was completely embraced in the warmth and the smell of his body, and kissed the crown of her head.

In the elevator, Oliver started playing with her hair. Chuckling, Felicity angled her head back to look at him. She frowned at the brooding expression on his face.

“What?” she asked, her hand stroking over his abs casually. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Oliver replied quickly and shook his head. “It’s just… There might be a few people waiting for you in front of the hospital?”

Felicity frowned. “Our friends and family or-“

“No.” Oliver shook his head. “More like a dozen reporters and maybe two hundred people?”

“What?” Felicity asked, her eyes widening. “Why?”

“Well, I guess they want to celebrate that you are released from the hospital and thank you for your commitment.”

“I really didn’t do anything,” Felicity replied. “I mean… I lived in a nice mansion with a nice guy for a couple of weeks and met a few dangerous people. That’s not much. I didn’t help adopting the new laws or anything. Everyone is acting like I went into war. I don’t feel like I did anything like that.”

“They want to celebrate you because you risked your life with the engagement.” Oliver stroked the knuckles of his hands over her cheek gently. “You have slept through the moment of change and didn’t see how people were falling round each other’s necks and crying. You’d think differently if you had seen it.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she whispered.

Felicity rested her head back against his shoulder, tightening her arms around his waist to push herself closer to his body. Apart from the fact that none of this felt real, her worst problem was that people came to her and told her how honored they were to meet her. They thanked her for what she had done and only insisted on it more and more when she tried to tell them that there was no reason to thank her.

When the elevator doors opened, they stepped out. Oliver was already heading to the doors, but Felicity held him back, tightening her arms around him until he came to a stop. Frowning, Oliver turned around to her. He waited for her to speak patiently.

“Do you think it would be very coward of me to take the back exit?” Felicity asked. She shot a look to the foyer and wrapped her arms around herself protectively. “I really don’t want to make a big deal out of this.”

“That’s your right and absolutely okay,” Oliver replied. He put a hand to the small of her back and kissed her forehead. “Go to the small gate that leads from the park to the Fifth. I am going to pick you up there, okay?”

Felicity released a low sigh and smiled in gratitude. “Thank you.”

“Not for that,” Oliver replied with a smile. He rubbed his hand over her back for a moment. “Can I leave you alone?”

“Sure.”

He pecked her lips shortly before he walked past her to the entrance in the foyer. Felicity released another breath of relief, glad that Oliver understood. She knew he wanted her to be celebrated because he considered the risks she had taken an important step in Ray’s plans. Felicity just didn’t like to be in the spotlight, especially since she felt she hadn’t done much to deserve it, no matter what Oliver said.

Pushing her hands into the pockets of the hoodie she wore, one Oliver had left to her, she strolled to the back exit and into the park. Felicity closed her eyes and held her face towards the warm sun while she met to where she wanted to meet with Oliver again. She really couldn’t wait to be home though she had to admit that she was a little nervous about it. Moving in with Oliver was a big step. What if they didn’t get along living under the same roof?

Felicity pushed that thought away. She and Oliver loved each other. They had spent evenings and nights and even complete days with each other and hadn’t grown tired of having the other around, yet. Their relationship was just getting started.

When Oliver’s Porsche, the one he had gotten from Tommy, stopped in front of her, Felicity opened the passenger seat and got in.

“Thank you,” she said once more, putting on the seatbelt. “I really didn’t want to put up with that right now.”

“No reason to thank me,” Oliver replied. He shot her a brief look. “After everything that happened, I am going to spoil you so much you will get tired of it.”

Felicity chuckled. “Oh, you will definitely come to regret that. I can endure being spoilt for a very, very long time.”

Oliver smiled. “I guess that works in both of our favors then.”

Still chuckling, Felicity leaned her head back and closed her eyes for a moment. She felt the missing sleep catching up on her now. Maybe it was best when she lay down for a nap later today. She wanted to celebrate the annulment of his marriage with Oliver at midnight.

“Do you have to go to Verdant tomorrow?” Felicity asked, needing some way to keep the tiredness away for now. “You haven’t been there often these past days and-“

Oliver waved it away. “Tommy knows I need to take care of you.”

“You don’t have to take care of me,” Felicity replied. “I am a big girl and I wasn’t released from the hospital without a reason, so it’s all fine. Besides, I have Teddy.”

“Does that mean you don’t want breakfast in bed and homemade food and movie marathons and all the other ideas I had to spoil you?”

Felicity pressed her lips together for a moment. “Okay, I take it back. You definitely have to take care of me.”

Oliver chuckled. “Yeah, I thought so.”

They continued chatting lightly during the drive to Oliver’s- to their loft. Felicity felt a little of the tension fading. Being with Oliver was so easy since they were tuned with each other. There wasn’t any reason for her to be nervous, even if the nervousness came a lot from excitement. Moving in together just was a big step.

When Oliver stopped the car in front of their home, Felicity smiled.

“Home,” she whispered.

Oliver shot her a smile before he turned off the engine and leaned over to kiss the soft spot under her ear. “Our home.”

“Our home,” Felicity repeated.

They got out of the car and walked into the building hand in hand. Felicity was already about to call for the elevators when-

“They don’t work.”

Felicity frowned, looking at Oliver. “What?”

“Maintenance work,” Oliver replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “They won’t work again until later today.”

“Oh,” Felicity said, swallowing at the thought of climbing ten floors. The thought of it alone was enough to cause her back to ache. She had barely made it around the hospital yesterday. “That’s… unfortunate.”

Oliver chuckled, adjusting the straps of her bag on his shoulder. Without any kind of warming, he wrapped an arm around her back and pushed the other one under her knees, lifting her in his arms easily.

“Don’t worry,” he told her. “You won’t have to walk up there.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, feeling her stomach fluttering, and put her arms around his neck. “Are you sure it isn’t too much? Ten floors is a lot and then carrying me and my bag…”

Oliver kissed her jaw. “I consider it training.”

“Still,” Felicity replied though Oliver was already starting to walk. “I can surely walk a few floors. Give me the first two down here and the two topmost. That still gives you six floors between to carry me.”

“No way,” Oliver replied with a chuckle, “but I note the mistrust in my strength.”

“I just don’t want to risk me getting spoilt for weeks because you are exhausting yourself already.”

Oliver snorted. “Won’t happen.”

Indeed, Oliver carried her upstairs all the way. If it exhausted him, he didn’t let her see it. His breathing continued to be even, his movements never faltering. Felicity doubted she would have climbed the stairs that easily if it wasn’t for her bruises even without carrying some additional load. She should have probably known that it wasn’t much of a problem for him. Oliver had quite the stamina.

She pushed her face against the side of Oliver’s neck at that thought, hiding the grin that had spread on her face. It would take another few weeks before she would be able to experience his stamina again the way she wanted to. She would have to hope that the opportunity to watch him work out, preferably shirtless, was part of his plan on spoiling her.

When they had reached the topmost floor, Oliver carried her to the door to his loft, their new home, and put her back to the floor.

“Thank you,” Felicity told him and kissed the corner of his mouth.

“I like carrying you.”

“I like being carried by you.”

“I knew we are the perfect match,” Oliver told her with a smile.

He was about to lean in for another kiss, but Felicity held him back with a hand at his shoulder and explained, “I really want to check how Teddy is doing.”

Oliver put his hand to his heart and looked at her dramatically. “You haven’t known him for an entire day and he’s already more important to you.”

“I can’t help it,” Felicity replied, sympathetically stroking her hand over his stubbled cheek. “He’s so cute.”

“I am cute,” Oliver countered.

“You are,” Felicity agreed with a chuckle and pecked his lips. “And now please unlock the door, so I can check how our dog is doing.”

Oliver rolled his eyes slightly, releasing a long sigh. He brushed his lips against hers once more before he pulled his keys out of the pocket of his jacket and held them out for her.

“I figure since this is your first time you enter this loft as your home, you should be the one to unlock the door.”

Felicity smiled. “Thanks.”

While she was unlocking the door, Oliver added, “I already got you your own keys of course. I just left them at home because I figured we wouldn’t need to pair of keys and- O my god, what happened here?”

Felicity had trouble not bursting out into laughter. The entire living area was covered with feathers. In the middle of it, Teddy was standing on one of the scatter cushions with his front paws while ripping at the fabric with his teeth at the same time. The woman at the shelter had warned them that Teddy was a wild boy and needed a lot of education.

“I told you it was a bad idea to leave him at home alone,” Felicity whispered to Oliver.

“Yeah, I see that now too,” Oliver replied with a sigh before he cleared his throat and pushed Felicity through the door, so he could close the door behind them and call out, “Teddy, look who’s home!”

That seemed to snap the dog out of his frenzy. The pillow still between his teeth, he looked up. At the sight of her and Oliver, he started wagging his tail. His body posture became tense as he looked intent, his ears cocked.

“Come here, Buddy!” Felicity called, clapping her hands to her thighs.

Immediately, Teddy let go of the pillow and came running towards them. He jumped up at Felicity happily, putting his front pawns to her chest and licking her face. Then he turned to Oliver and did the same before going back to Felicity. Oliver and Felicity laughed joyfully. Teddy certainly was a handful and needed a lot of education, but Felicity didn’t mind. She and Oliver had lived in secret for so long. Living with a whirlwind like Teddy was a pleasant change.

“Okay, that’s enough, Teddy,” Oliver said eventually.

He tugged at Teddy’s collar gently to make him back away from Felicity. While Felicity already went over to the couch, looking around in her new home, Oliver put her bag to the floor. Felicity turned around and found Oliver watching her while she was taking everything in. She smiled and she would have probably continued looking at him like that if it hadn’t been for Teddy, who started licking her fingers.

She smiled at him. “I see you are enjoying your new home.”

“He is and I hope so will you,” Oliver replied. “I rearranged a few things.”

“Yeah, I see the sleeping area is no longer in a separate room.”

“I figured you could need a home office, so that’s where our bedroom used to be and Nyssa’s bedroom is like a little private gym now,” Oliver explained. “I guess with your physiotherapy you could use the room for some training too.”

Felicity looked at him. “When did you do all of this? It must have taken so much time.”

“I couldn’t sleep much these past weeks,” Oliver admitted and massaged the back of his neck uncomfortably before he cleared his throat. “If there is anything you want to change, though…”

“No, it looks great.”

With a low sigh, she sat down on the couch. She really needed a rest and probably some sleep. Before she could even as much as feel the soreness of her body in her relaxed position now, Teddy was already jumping on the couch and climbing onto her lap. He licked her face briefly once more, but then quickly lay down on Felicity’s lap. Chuckling, she stroked her hands through his long, soft fur.

“You are such a good boy, aren’t you?” she asked. “Eighty pounds and yet a little lapdog.”

Oliver chuckled. He approached them and sat down on the backrest behind Felicity, so she could lean her head against his thigh with a sigh. Oliver combed her hair with his fingers.

“He’s a little cuddler. I know we said he won’t sleep in the bed, but… yeah…”

Felicity chuckled, angling her head back to look at Oliver. “Not even twenty-four hours in and you are already inconsistent with him.”

“I want to see you denying him anything if he looks at you with his puppy eyes.”

“Well, I am going to go to bed now and show you how that works.”

Oliver smiled. “Too exhausted?”

Felicity nodded. “The little sleep is catching up on me now.”

“Then go to bed,” Oliver suggested and kissed her forehead. “I am going to prepare things for our little celebration tonight.”

“What is there to prepare? All I need is a couch and some food. Alcohol and sex are off limits unfortunately.”

“We catch up on the alcohol and the sex when you are fit,” Oliver promised. “Everything else is going to be a surprise.”

Felicity smiled. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Oliver whispered back and leaned down to brush his lips against hers gently. His thumb stroked over the corner of her mouth when he pulled back. With a low sigh, he got up and clapped into his hands. “Come on, Teddy, time to get up.”

The dog stretched himself for a moment before he got up, looking from Oliver to Felicity and back. When Felicity got up and, with a last smile to Oliver, went upstairs, Teddy followed her quickly. He ran past her halfway up the stairs and, when Felicity stepped into the sleeping area, he was already lying in bed, looking at her intently and wagging his tail.

“No way. Out of bed, Teddy.” Felicity chuckled. Teddy grumbled, but he did get up and jumped off the bed. “Good boy.”

She quickly took off her jeans and got into bed. She used the pillow on the side closer to the window to push between her legs since she had figured out it was the most comfortable position to sleep in with her still aching body. With a sigh, she closed her eyes.

It wasn’t long until she felt the mattress next to her head dip a little and a warm breath ghosting over her face. Felicity opened an eye and chuckled at the sight of Teddy sitting next to the bed with his head resting on the mattress next to her head. His eyes were focused on her intently. When Felicity just closed her eyes again, Teddy whined and moved his head forward to nudge her chin with his nose.

Felicity rolled her lips into her mouth, looking at Teddy’s sad eyes. The poor boy had been living in the shelter for almost a year after his former owners had just left him when they had moved to another city. He certainly needed a lot of love and attention.

“Come on,” Felicity whispered.

Immediately, Teddy jumped onto the bed, crawled over her and snuggled up to her back. His nose pushed into the back of her neck, his breath tickling Felicity’s skin.

She closed her eyes again when Oliver called from the living area, “So, how did being consistent work for you so far?”

“Oh, shut up!” Felicity replied. “I need him to warm my back. That’s totally different.”

Oliver chuckled. “Well, if you say so.”

 

 

“You are setting a high standard here, you know that?” Felicity asked, angling her head back a little to smile at Oliver. “How are you going to top this?”

She gestured around to their surroundings. While she and Teddy had napped, Oliver had prepared the roof terrace she had never been to before. He had gotten some mattresses there, so they were comfortable. He was holding her in his arms, a blanket wrapped around both of them. He had also taken their small couch table here, filled with a lot of food that they had to defend from Teddy, who was trying to steal some of it whenever they weren’t looking. For now, he had coiled himself up and was sleeping.

Oliver smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. “I am just getting to know who I am when I am in an actual relationship. I feel I am going to spoil you at least as much as I am spoiling the dog, so trust me when I tell you that I will find ways to top this.”

Felicity’s smile widened and Oliver tightened his arms around her, pulling the blanket closer around their bodies. As much as she trusted Oliver, she doubted he could top this day. She had a new home. She had a dog. She had the perfect boyfriend, who was taking care of her every need and had prepared this wonderful setting to celebrate the annulment of his marriage and the marriage of everyone else who had lived in imposed marriages. They would have a great view on the fireworks later too. What could be better?

“Are you comfortable?” Oliver whispered into her ear, his lips brushing against her lobe as he spoke.

“Very,” Felicity replied, snuggling back against him more. She yawned. “How late is it?”

“Three minutes before midnight.”

“I think I am going to fall into bed and sleep the moment the firework is over,” Felicity told him and closed her eyes with a low sigh. “These pain meds are making me so tired.”

“Don’t worry,” Oliver told her. “I am going to carry you to bed when you fall asleep.”

“You really love carrying me around, don’t you?” Felicity asked and angled her head back to look at him, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “I always thought it was a sex thing, but you just like it.”

Oliver grinned back at her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He leaned down and captured her lips in a gentle kiss that made her forget everything around her for a moment. It was good just being here, in her new home, with the man she loved. There was no hiding and no worries for the moment. She knew there was still a lot for them to work through like the challenges of living together and the troubles with her recovery. The doctors hadn’t been able to swear to her that she’d ever get back to full health after all. There was still the danger that maybe the pain was going to become permanent or the lower part of her body wouldn’t be as flexible as it used to be. All that didn’t matter, though.

They pulled apart with a chuckle when Teddy got up and lay down closer to them, snuggling up to them. Oliver ruffled his fur and Teddy released a content grumble, lying down on his side to get even more comfortable.

“What are we going to do with our no-dog-in-the-bed-rule?” Oliver asked her.

“Well, as long as he warms my back like he did during nap time, he is definitely going to sleep in the bed.”

“We are already terrible dog parents,” Oliver whispered.

“No, we are just trying to find out what is best for us and for him,” Felicity replied. “Sleeping in our bed might have seemed like a bad idea, but it’s useful.”

“What if I was warming your back?” Oliver suggested.

Felicity chuckled. “Hot boyfriend with very hard muscles that make his body feel like a plank or cute dog with soft fur and slightly higher body temperature which makes him like a never cooling hot-water bag – that’s an easy question to answer and I have to tell you that you might get out on the short end.”

“You never complained about my body before,” Oliver replied with a frown. “Should I stop training?”

“Oh, don’t you dare.” Felicity chuckled, stroking a hand over his abs. “In a few weeks, I can put your body to great use again.”

Oliver chuckled. “Glad to hear that.”

He lowered his head to kiss her once more. Right before his lips touched hers, the first firework went off, though. Oliver pulled away and they both looked at there the bright lights were lightening the sky. Only moments later, people went onto the streets, cheering and singing. Within less than ten seconds, the city that had seemed so calm seconds ago, came back to life.

Oliver was no longer married to Nyssa. Nyssa was no longer married to Oliver. All the marriages that had been enforced on people in the last decades were no longer existing. They were erased from existence like they had never been because they shouldn’t have existed in the first place. People, who had lived in fear and who had been tied to people they had barely known and often not even liked, were finally free.

“It’s okay.”

Only now Felicity realized that she was crying. She quickly wiped away the tears from her face and took in a deep breath. She hid her sob behind a chuckle.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what’s going on with me,” she admitted. “I am just… I have no idea… It’s probably the meds and the little sleep and-“

“Or maybe it’s just the fact that you just really understood the change,” Oliver whispered, “like emotionally.”

Felicity took in a sniffling breath. She hesitated for a moment before she turned around in Oliver’s arms and sat down in his lap with her legs wrapped around his hips. Her lips found his in a heated, yet romantic kiss. Oliver’s arms wrapped around her even more tightly, almost crashing her against his chest. Both their hearts were racing, beating in the same quick rhythm.

Soon, the need for air grew too much. They broke the kiss, just hugging each other closely. Felicity hid her face against the side of Oliver’s neck, breathing in the scent of his skin. She squeezed his eyes shut, letting all the emotions she was feeling filling her entire body before breathing them out slowly.

“Thank you for everything,” Felicity whispered, tightening her arms around his neck. “All of this is so perfect.”

Oliver rubbed his hands over her back, snuggling his head against hers. “Perfect, hm?”

Felicity chuckled, still not letting go of him. “I can’t see how this moment could be any better.”

“Can I take that as a challenge?”

Felicity pulled back a little to look at him, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “Okay, surprise me. How do you want to top this?”

Oliver reached into the pocket of his pants and pushed the blanket aside until he could pull out his arm. He was holding out a small velvet box for her and opened it. Felicity’s breath got caught in her throat at the sight of the beautiful diamond ring inside.

“By asking you to allow me to become your husband.”

It took a lot from Felicity to lift her gaze from the ring to Oliver’s face. He was looking at her almost a little nervously. It only made Felicity more nervous in response. She swallowed down the thick lump in her throat and took in a deep breath.

“What?”

A smile spread on Oliver’s lips. “I know the way I phrased the question is not the typical way to say it. The usual way would probably be ‘Will you marry me?’ or ‘Please marry me’ or even ‘Will you make me the happiest man on the face of the earth’. I chose to phrase the question differently because I think none of these phrases would be able to fathom the truth here. The truth is that I have been married until like two minutes ago. If we take the past laws in consideration, I have been married until two minutes ago and I hated it with every beat of my heart. I hated being married for marriages themselves as much as for the stupid laws that had forced me into a connection like that. With you, it’s different. I know I am completely free now. I can do whatever I want and what I want is to be married to you on my own decision and not because I am forced to. The laws forced me to get married to Nyssa. Now I am asking you if you let me marry you. I love you and I want to use the freedom of the new laws to tie myself to you and to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Felicity was speechless which really didn’t happen often. She continued staring at Oliver like he had just told her that he was actually an alien that had come from Martian to explore the human nature.

“Wow.”

Oliver chuckled. He straightened up a little and pecked her lips. “Not the answer I was hoping for, but I take it.”

“I am just…” Felicity stopped, unable to find the right word. “When did you plan this?”

“I bought the ring the day we wanted to run away,” Oliver told her. “I just knew if I wanted to start this new life with you, I wanted to do it right. This felt like the right way, not because of some obligation but simply because I love you.”

Felicity nodded. He had meant to propose to her two months already. He had meant to propose to her when she had left him with a stupid note after a night of wonderful lovemaking. He had meant to propose to her when she had been getting engaged to Ray and planned their wedding. He had meant to propose to her when he had thought she was working with Ray. He had meant to propose to her this entire time and now he did it though there was still the risk she’d never get back into old form.

“You don’t have to answer right now,” Oliver told her, putting his hand to her thigh and squeezing gently. “I know this is a lot. I wanted to ask because I had a lot of time to think about it. Of course you have all the time in the world to figure out your answer too. I hope you know that I really want to get married to you. I really mean this. Yet, I also want you to know that it’s okay to say no. It’s also okay to say yes without us getting married immediately. I know we are just at the start of our relationship. We still must get to know each other, so it’s okay to say yes and still ask for some time. I want you to figure out what you want, no matter what it is.”

“Yes.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows in response. “Yes, you’re going to think about it or-“

“Yes, I want you to get married to me and I want to get married to you too.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,” Felicity replied with a chuckle. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

She flung her arms around Oliver’s neck and pressed herself close to him. Oliver wrapped his arms around her waist tightly too, almost taking her breath away. It wasn’t long until they pulled apart and Oliver took her hand to slowly slide the ring into it. Felicity looked at it in amazement.

When her eyes met Oliver’s a moment later, they both smiled. Their lips met in a kiss, much more slowly than Felicity had expected. Oliver cupped her face in his hands and stroked his thumbs over her cheekbones as they kissed. Their tongues met in a slow dance, stroking against each other’s until they pulled apart. Oliver was still holding her face, looking at her with so much love that Felicity’s entire body tingled from it. Nobody had ever looked at her the way he was looking at her.

“So, you and me?” he asked.

Felicity smiled and dipped her head forward until her forehead rested against his.

“You and me,” she confirmed.

Their lips met once more, just brushing against each other’s chastely. Before they could deepen the kiss, Teddy got up from next to them and jumped at Oliver’s back, his front pawns on his shoulders as he was chewing on Oliver’s ear. Oliver laughed at that and petted their dog’s head, but he didn’t push him away.

Felicity watched him and slowly felt the meaning of what had just happened settled in. It was just like Oliver had said it. The governments no longer contacted marriages. Everyone was free to get married if they wanted and when they wanted and most importantly to who they wanted. She and Oliver were using that new freedom to tie themselves to each other and it was a wonderful feeling.

When Teddy continued chewing on Oliver’s ear, Felicity said, “I think he wants you to apologize.”

“Okay, I take it back,” Oliver replied with a chuckle. “You, me and Teddy.”

“Yeah.” Felicity smiled, nodding her head, while she was still watching Oliver and Teddy. “You, me and Teddy. That is something I can get used to easily.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for supporting this story! It was so much fun to read your reactions and see your excitement. I think it was one of my favorite stories to write and share. :)
> 
> My next story _Another chance on love_  will probably start around the beginning of January. I hope you will check it out.
> 
> _It's been almost two years since Oliver lost his fiancée Detective McKenna Hall when she died in the line of duty. He closed his heart to love ever since, unable or unwilling to give love another chance. That changes when he meets Felicity Smoak at the annual gala of the Starling City Police Foundation. Is he ready to give love another chance, though?_


End file.
